


Can We Keep Her?

by AvengersCompound (emilyevanston)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, New Avengers (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bachelorette Party, Birthday, Bisexuality, Character Death, Children, Chocolate, Christmas, Double Penetration, Drinking, Engagement, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Food, Grandparents & Grandchildren, Love, M/M, Marriage, Multi, Oral Sex, Parenthood, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Pregnancy, Reader-Insert, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties, Threesome, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Wakes & Funerals, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-03 23:42:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 41
Words: 93,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15829338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyevanston/pseuds/AvengersCompound
Summary: After an accident outside the Avengers Tower Bucky and Steve take you in to patch you up.  What follows is a life none of you expected.





	1. Can We Keep Her?

Things happened in slow motion.  Normally when that happened Steve and Bucky could act quickly and change perceived outcomes.  This time all they could do is watch everything unfold.

They saw you step up off the curb, a huge gift basket full of various sized chocolate eggs.  Some just wrapped in clear cellophane to show off the intricate carvings.  Others wrapped in bright foil.  It was such a large basket that it obscured your view and you didn’t see the bike messenger screaming down the sidewalk.

Both Bucky and Steve saw him though.  They called out in unison and started to run forward but it was too late.  He clipped you and you went sprawling.  The eggs from the basket scattered across the pavement, and you went face down on the ground.  The asshole didn’t even stop.  Just continued down the street like nothing had happened.

“Miss, are you okay?”  Steve asked,  crouching down in front of you and helping you sit up. For a second you forget completely that you may be out thousands of dollars worth of work and your complete and utter embarrassment.  All you can think is that this is the Steve Rogers. The Steve Rogers is crouched in front of you and looking at you.  Oh my god, his eyes.  They’re the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever seen.  That beautiful pale blue and those long dark lashes.  Like it wasn’t completely unfair already that he had the body he had.  He also had to have those eyes?

Steve smiled at you.  “Miss?”  He repeated, slightly concerned you’ve taken a hit to the head, although he’s sure that you didn’t.

That brought the embarrassment back full force.  You looked down at you grazed hands.  They were bleeding a little and small stones were embedded in the flesh.  There was a sharp pain in your leg and you twisted to look.  There was a large gash over your calf when the pedal from the bike caught you and so much blood.  You felt woozy and swayed where you sat.

“Okay, let’s take you inside and patch you up,”  Steve said, cradling you and lifting you up like you weighed nothing at all.

“The eggs.”  You said.  The words come out a little slurred.  Just a little.  Blood dripped from your leg onto the sidewalk.

“Don’t worry, my friend’s getting them,”  Steve replied.  You looked back as you walked inside and saw the Winter Soldier gathering up all the chocolates and putting them into the basket with the help of a couple of other passers-by.  The image was so comical to you, you started giggling.  

Steve called the elevator and Bucky caught up with both of you.   “Is the dragon one okay?”  You asked him.

“I think so.  There are definitely a lot of broken ones though.”  Bucky said.  “Were they a gift from someone?”

You shook your head and tried to fight back the fact you really wanted to cry right now.  “No, I was delivering them.  Mr. Stark ordered them.  That’s an $8000 Easter hamper.”

“$8000!  Holy shit! What are they made of, gold?”  Bucky exclaimed.  

“The dragon one has gold on it.  Yes.”  You replied, referring to the gilding on the dragon’s scales.

Bucky whistled.

“Will they be taken out of your pay?  I can probably convince Tony to just pay anyway.  He’s a decent guy.”  Steve said, looking down at you.  

The doors to the elevator opened onto what looks like a living room with a full-sized kitchen attached.

“Decent guy.”  Bucky scoffed.

Steve looked at Bucky sternly.   “Buck…”  He said.   Just that.

Bucky sighed dramatically.  “Fine!  He’s a pillar of the community.  Total gem.”  He put the Easter basket on the coffee table and flopped onto the couch.  Steve placed you down gently beside him.  You were literally just bleeding all over the Avenger’s couch.  It would be a story you told your grandchildren.

Steve disappeared for a moment and Bucky smiled at you.  “He’s an asshole.  But Steve’s right he’ll probably just pay anyway if it means you don’t lose your job.”

You shook your head.   “I own the place.  It’s the one across the road.  I made the dragon egg.  It took me three weeks.  It’s one of a kind.  If it broke that would be three weeks of work for nothing.  I wouldn’t want him to have to pay for it broken.”

“I know that place.  You always have Avengers chocolates in the window.  You made those?”  Bucky asked sitting forward in his seat and looking at the eggs.

Steve returned with a first aid kit, a bowl of warm water and a washcloth.  He crouched down in front of you and lifted your legs before starting to cleaning the wound.

“Yes,”  You replied.  People rarely ever believe you’re capable of making the intricate chocolate art you do.  Not because it’s you.  They’d have the same reaction for anyone.  Art can scare people.  Especially when it’s something temporary like with chocolate.

You hissed at the sting of Steve wiping the wound clean.  “This looks bad.  What do you think, Buck?  Should I get Bruce to stitch her up?”

Bucky looked at your leg.  “I’ve seen worse.”  He held his prosthetic hand up and flexed at you.  You giggled and he smiled and winked at you.  You felt your heart flutter.  You didn’t know a lot about the Winter Soldier.   No one did really.  Only that he was an assassin once.  How was he so casually charming?  “I think the butterflies would be okay.  But I mean he is in the building.”

“FRIDAY.  Can you get Dr. Banner to come down here?”  Steve said to what seems to be the room.  If that wasn’t weird enough, the room answered.

“Right away, Captain Rogers.”  A woman’s voice filled the room.

“What the hell was that?”  You asked.

Both Steve and Bucky started laughing.  “That’s the building’s artificial intelligence,”  Steve answered.  “Can you hold this, Buck?”  He said to Bucky as he held the cloth against your leg.  It was slowly turning from white to red.

Bucky took over holding the washer.

“Why is it Irish?”  You asked.

Both of them laughed again.  “You know, I never even thought to ask,”  Steve answered.  “That’s strange isn’t it.”  He wiped your hands clean, getting out all the little bits of rock and gravel.  “Why are you Irish, FRIDAY?”   He asked.

“Mr. Stark likes redheads.”  She replied.

Bucky absolutely lost it laughing.  His laughter was infectious and soon all three of you were in hysterics.  It helped dull the sting when Steve put iodine on your hands.  

The elevator opened and all three of you craned your heads to see the middle-aged man who just entered.  He was greying and looked world worn.  “FRIDAY says you two have been collecting strays again.”  He said approaching you.  “What’s happened?”

“A bike messenger clipped her.  It might need stitches.”  Steve replied.  He sat beside you and Bruce came and looked at your leg.

“Yikes.  This is nasty.  I don’t think stitches nasty though.”  He said.  He sprayed the wound with an antiseptic and it stung so badly, you let out the largest string of curse words you had in your vocabulary.

Both Bucky and Steve looked at you wide-eyed and then Bucky burst out laughing.  “Oh my god.  That is a wicked mouth on you, doll.”

Bruce chuckled and started putting butterfly bandages on your cut.  He then covered it in gauze.  “I think that should do it.  Keep it clean okay?”

“I will.  Thank you.”  You smiled.

“You’re very welcome.”  He said returning the smile.  “You can’t keep her.”  He added looking at Steve.  Steve smirked but didn’t say anything.

When he left you turned to Steve.  “What did he mean you can’t keep me?”

Bucky chuckled.  “Steve collects broken people.  Don’t ya, pal?”  Instead of answering, Steve just blushed and rubs the back of his head.  “You know, just messed up people who don’t belong anywhere?  He likes them to know they are worthy of love and have a place in the world.”

“Oh wow.   That’s really lovely.”  Your heart felt both full and sad. That a person would be that pure and good is amazing to you.  “I’m not damaged.  At least not permanently.”

“You do seem to have your shit together.  Did you hear, Stevie?  She made this?”  He held up the large chocolate egg carved and painted to look like a dragon was hatching from it.

“Wow.  That’s a piece of art.”  Steve said taking it and looking it over.  Even in his large hands, the egg looked massive.  It was around five pounds of chocolate after all. Thankfully it’s weight seems to have protected it from any significant damage.  “You’re very talented.  Doesn’t it bother you that it’s going to be eaten?”

You shook your head.  “I think the fact it’s temporary makes it even more special.  You can appreciate its beauty and enjoy it while you have it.  Then it’s gone.  You have to make the time you have with it count.”

Bucky and Steve looked at each other and something passed between them.  “That’s a beautiful attitude.  Really poetic.”  Steve said.

Bucky got on his knees in front of the coffee table and started sorting through the chocolates.  He put broken ones in one pile and whole ones in another.  “Steve’s an artist too.”  He said.

You looked at Steve and smile widely.  He kept surprising you.  You couldn’t believe how many layers there are to the man behind the Shield.  “Oh really?  What kind of art?”

“I draw mostly.  Just sketches really.  Occasionally I do watercolors.  It’s been a while since I’ve done a watercolor though.”  Steve answered.

“His therapist says he should do them more,”  Bucky added.

“Bucky!”  Steve yelped.

“Oh sorry,”  Bucky said.  “Steve doesn’t like people to know he’s in therapy.  But what’s the big deal right?  He’s been through a lot.  I see a therapist too.”

“Okay, I think you’ve done enough talking now, jerk.”  Steve scolded.

Bucky reached over and rubs Steve’s thigh and smiled up at him.  It was then you realized they were together.  It hadn’t even occurred to you before.  You looked at Steve and smiled.  “I’d love to see some of your art.  I draw too.  And paint but I’m more into acrylics than watercolors.  Watercolors take a level of skill I’ve never been able to master.”

Steve blushed again and did the thing where he rubbed his hand over the back of his head.  It was really cute.  “Okay.  I can go get you some to see.  I mean if you want.  I don’t have any of my paintings here.  But you can see my sketchbook.”

“That would be lovely.  Thank you.”  You replied.  Steve put the egg down and got up.  You watched as he headed into another room.

“I think that’s all of the broken ones,”  Bucky said placing one last broken egg into the pile.   All up there were about a dozen broken eggs.  Most of them the medium sized hollow eggs.  But there was a rabbit and one of your smaller art eggs depicting a unicorn.  That one took three days work and now sat in four pieces.  “It’s kinda surreal seeing this much chocolate.  When I was growing up it was really expensive.  My dad brought me some back from Belgium after he was deployed in Europe one time.  It was just the smallest square, but I remember it being like this small piece of heaven.”

You picked up one of the milk chocolate eggs that had been broken and offer it to Bucky.  “Here you go.  Live largely.”  You teased.

Bucky opened the foil and put a piece in his mouth.  The look of pure unadulterated pleasure on his features was not one you’ve seen for a long time.  “This is so good.”

“It’s Belgian chocolate.”  You grinned.

Steve returned with his sketchbook and handed it to you before sitting beside you.  “Where did you grow up that you didn’t have chocolate?”  You asked as you opened the book.  The first picture was of a train with the side ripped off.

“Oh, here.  I’m a Brooklyn boy.  But in the twenties.”  Bucky said like that is the most normal thing to ever say to anyone.

You shook your head to clear it.  “Oh like Captain Rogers.”  You said, remembering the story of Captain America getting frozen and thawed.  You turned the page, the next sketch was of snow and trees and a broken figure missing an arm bleeding out in the snow.  These pictures were really personal.  You weren’t sure why he’d trusted you to look at them.  You ran your finger over the figure and looked at Bucky then took Steve’s hand in yours, giving it a squeeze.

“We grew up together,”  Steve said.  “He was my best friend.”

You looked between the two of them.  “Wow!  That's… that’s like fate!  You were meant to be together.”

Steve looked down at Bucky and stroked his hand through his hair.  “It feels like something was happening.”

You turned the page and the next picture was of Bucky asleep, sprawled out naked.  The sheet just covering his dick.  “Oh, my!”  You said, looking from Bucky to Steve.

Steve blushed furiously.  “I forgot that was in there.”  He said, turning the page.

You started giggling and Bucky just looked up at you both confused.  The next one was Steve dancing with a woman.  “Is she anyone?”  You asked.

“That’s Peggy,”  Steve answered.  “She was my girl during the war.”

“Can I see?”  Bucky asked as he munched on a piece of chocolate.  Steve gave a nod and you handed the sketchbook over.

“This is really good, Stevie.  I’m sorry you never got that dance.”  Bucky said.

“Me too.  But it is what it is.  I dance with you.”  Steve said.  Somehow his words came out sounding both sad and hopeful.

“You sure do.”  Bucky smiled and handed the sketchpad back to you.  “You should try some of the chocolate, pal.”  He said offering the remnants of the chocolate egg you gave him.

“Not that one.”  You said.  “I bet you’re more of a dark chocolate person.  Am I right?”  You grabbed another cracked egg from the pile.

“I’ve never really thought about it,”  Steve answered so you grabbed a milk-egg too.  You offered him a piece of dark chocolate and rather than just taking it off you, he opened his mouth.  You were a little surprised but you put the piece of chocolate on his tongue.  He closed his lips and they just brushed over your skin.  It made your it prickle.

He closed his eyes and really just savored it.  When he opened his eyes he smiled at you.  “I liked that one.”

You offered him the milk and he once again he just opened his mouth.  This time when you place it on his tongue his mouth closed on your finger for just a second and you felt the warm wet press of his tongue before you pulled it away.  He once again closed his eyes and really savored it.  “You’re right, I think I’m a dark chocolate person.  The milk is good but a little too sweet.”

“I know my stuff.”  You smiled.

You heard the elevators open and all three of you looked over again.  This time a small redhead stepped out.  “I hear you’ve brought in a stray again.”  She announced loudly.

“She’s not a stray,”  Steve said, defensively.

“She owns the chocolate place across the road,”  Bucky added.

“Oh yeah, I know you.  I’m always over there.”   She said squeezing herself between you and Steve.  She helped herself to one of the broken chocolate rabbits and started eating it.

“Oh yeah.”  You said, suddenly recognizing her.  “Natasha.  White chocolate mocha and a hazelnut praline truffle.”

“Why are you here?”  She asked.

Steve got up and headed to the kitchen as you talked with Natasha.  He offered you all a drink, and you told him you’d love tea.

Bucky got up and joined Steve in the kitchen he wrapped his arms around him and ran his hands up under his t-shirt.  Stroking his fingers over his defined abs.

“Hey, Stevie?”  He said, rubbing his cheek over Steve’s broad back.

There was laughter from you and Natasha and they both looked over as Natasha picked up the large chocolate dragon egg.

“Yeah?”  Steve answered, pouring boiling water into the teapot and the French Press.

Bucky looked over to you and then nuzzled into Steve’s neck.  When he spoke it was at a whisper.  “I kind of want to keep her.”


	2. What's inside that counts

Steve watched you as you talked to Natasha.  The way your eyes lit up and you threw your head back when you laughed.  The way your hair moved in the light.  There was something about you.  He had definitely been flirting before.  Something he almost never did.  Plus he’d shown you his art.  He didn’t show people that either.  But the connotations to Bucky’s suggestion of keeping you.  Steve didn’t even know what to do with that revelation.

Bucky had his chin resting on Steve’s shoulder his fingers still skimmed over his abs.  Steve put the pot of boiling water that he’d been using to make a pot of tea and coffee in the French Press down, and turned in Bucky’s arms.  “What do you mean ‘you want to keep her’?”  Steve asked.

Bucky stepped back and shrugged.  “She’s cute.”

Steve scowled, his jaw clenching.   “If this is how you tell me you want to break up.”

Bucky flushed and lunged forward at Steve wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in Steve’s neck.  “No.  No, no, no.  Stevie.  I love you.  It’s you and me.”

Steve hugged him back, his hands stroking through Bucky’s hair.  He was not even sure why he said that.  He knew it wasn’t true.  It was like he was feeling guilty for actually thinking the same thing.  That he was attracted to this woman and maybe he’d like to explore that.  So he needed Bucky to feel guilty about it too.

“We’ll talk about it later.  Okay?”  Steve whispered.  Bucky pulled away and smiled.  He pecked Steve on the lips and helped him carry the drinks over to where you and Natasha sat.  Bucky sat himself back on the floor next to your legs and Steve sat beside you.

“Thank you so much.”  You smiled, helping yourself to tea.  “You have gone above and beyond in taking care of the injured delivery girl.”

Natasha laughed.  “Watch out, or you’ll keep finding yourself back here all the time.”

“I’m not sure that would too bad.”  You replied.

Steve and Bucky shared a look and you weren’t quite sure what it meant.

The doors to the elevator opened and Vision and Wanda stepped out.

“There’s word that Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes have been making new friends.”  Vision said.

“We wanted to see the new addition to the tower,”  Wanda added.

Steve shook his head.  He couldn’t even bring himself to correct them this time.  You took over instead, introducing yourself and telling them that you own the chocolatier across the road and giving them the rundown of the accident.  All Wanda seemed to hear was chocolate.

“Would it be okay if I have some?”  She asked, coming and sitting next to Steve.

You offered her a broken rabbit and she took it, placing a piece in her mouth and moaning.  “You should try this Vis.”  She said, offering him some.

Vision took a bite.  “This is exquisite.  Why hasn’t anyone ever told me to eat chocolate in the past?”

Wanda laughed and shoved more chocolate in his mouth.

You kept looking at Steve’s sketches.  Somehow you knew that they were private, so you kept them guarded from the others.  There were some that were quite dark.  Then there were others that just seemed so full of hope.  Often they were of Bucky either way, and you could see how far these two men have come together.

“These are really beautiful, Steve.”  You said, handing his sketchbook back to him.  “Thank you for sharing them with me.  Maybe you’d like to see some of my art sometime.”

Steve nodded.  “I’d really like that.”

You started stacking the good eggs back into the basket when you heard the elevator open once more.  This time Tony Stark stepped out.  “Taking in strays again, Cap?  Do I need to find a free room?”  He announced loudly.

You jumped to your feet.  “Mr. Stark.”

He looked at you confused before his eyes lit up.  “Oh, it’s Willy Wonka.  Were you just dropping off?”

You felt like a deer in headlights.  You didn’t want him to see the basket in its current state.  “I - I…”  You stuttered.

Steve got up.  “There was an accident, Tony.  She was clipped by a bike messenger just outside and her leg was cut pretty bag.  Some of the chocolates were broken.”

“All of them I can replace except the unicorn one.”  You added quickly.  “I have others that size but none the same.  If you wanted to choose…”

Tony cut you off.  “Have you all been eating the broken ones?”

The others all nodded, most of them with chocolate stuffed in their mouths.

Tony shrugged and jumped over the back of the couch, flopping onto it.  He picked up his own egg and started to eat.  “I bought them for these layabouts anyway.  It’s fine.”  He pulled out his checkbook from his breast pocket, scribbled on it and handed you a check.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark.”  You said.

“I think you might as well call me Tony if Cap’s decided to adopt you.  You’re going to be here all the time.”  Tony said, waving you off.  

You looked around the room at the people all sitting around eating your chocolate and enjoying themselves and smiled.  “Well, I guess I’ve taken up as much of your time as I should.  I hope I’ll see you all again.”

Bucky jumped up off the ground and he and Steve approached you.  “We’ll walk you out.”

You wanted to tell them there was no need.  Because there really was no need.  There was a want though.  You wanted them to walk you out so you could be alone with them again.

They followed you into the elevator and it started going down.  “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“It was nothing,”  Steve said.

“I really hope we do get to see more of you,”  Bucky added.

You smiled and wiped a smudge of chocolate from his chin.  “Well, I work across the road and we make coffee, so anytime really.”

They walked you to the front doors and you said one last goodbye before heading back to work.

Steve and Bucky headed back to the elevator.

“You like her though right?”  Bucky said, launching right back into his previous conversation.

Steve sighed.  “I don’t even really know her.  Besides I’m with you.”

“I know that.  But you think she’s cute.  I saw you suck on her finger.”  Bucky quipped.

Steve couldn’t even bring himself to look in Bucky’s eye anymore.  He dropped his gaze and when the elevator stopped he got out and headed straight to the room he and Bucky shared.  Bucky followed close on his heels.

“That was an accident.”  He said once the door closed behind them.

Bucky laughed loudly.  “You made her hand feed you.  Some accident.  You’re not subtle, Steve.”

Steve shook his head.  “She was cute.”  He admitted.  “That doesn’t mean I want to do anything with her.  I’m with you.”

Bucky sat on the side of the bed and pulled Steve over to him.  He wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist and rested his head on his stomach.  “You showed her your art.  You’ve never even shown me that sketchbook.”

Steve paused running his hands through Bucky’s hair.  “I would… the things I draw.  They’re…”

Bucky looked up at Steve.  “I get it.  I do.  I just want you to admit you’re interested in this girl.”

“What good does it do if I am?  She was sweet.  I’m happily taken.”  Steve groaned.

Bucky let Steve go and flopped back on the bed. He kicked his shoes off and they sailed across the room and clattered into the wall.   “Steve, do you really not get what I’m suggesting here?  I want us both to get to know her.  Maybe just as a friend.  I could use friends who aren’t part of this.   So could you.”  He looked up and offered Steve his hand.  “Maybe … maybe she can be more than that.  For both of us.”

Steve took Bucky’s hand and let Bucky pull him down on top of him.  He kicked his own shoes off, but they just dropped to the floor next to the bed.  “What girl would agree to that?”

Bucky started kissing Steve’s neck.  “Maybe none.  Maybe her.  I like her a lot.  Just a friend would be fine.  Don’t you think it would be nice being close to a girl like that?  Someone soft and undamaged?  That we can just be Bucky and Steve with and not what they expect us to be?”  He started unbuttoning Steve’s shirt.  “You only ever slept with me right?”  He asked, kissing along Steve’s collarbone.  Steve moaned and tilted his head back.

“Just you.”  Steve agreed.  Blood started rushing to his cock and it hardened.  He could also feel the press of Bucky’s against his thigh.

“Let me tell ya.  Having sex with you is the best I’ve ever had.”  He purred.  “You do things to me no one ever has before.  But there’s something about being with a woman…”

Steve hummed.  He pulled Bucky’s t-shirt up over his head.  Bucky started kissing down Steve’s chest.  “Tell me.”  Steve sighed.

“They’re soft.  And they’re not afraid of being loud.  The sounds they make…”  Bucky closed his eyes and hummed.  He moved his hands to Steve’s belt and unfastened it.  Steve scrambled to unfastened Bucky’s.  “When you have sex, it’s warm and slick.  They can adjust in a way we can’t.  So it can be so tight you think your dick might break off.  Or it can be comfortable like a soft, warm glove around you.  You can’t go as deep as when we’re inside each other.  It’s not better.  It’s just different.”

They dragged each other’s pants and underwear down and wriggled out of them.  Bucky took both their cocks in his hand and starts to rub them against each other.

“A girl can’t do that,”  Steve smirked.

Bucky laughed.  “No, they can not.  I don’t not want you, Steve.  You are my other half.  Everything I am not you are.  And I don’t just mean that the way they see us.  I’m the scary assassin and you’re the stoic hero.  It’s always been that way for us.  When I was weak you were strong and when you struggled I was there to catch you.”

Steve stroked his fingers along Bucky’s jaw and leaned in and kissed him.  They both moaned and Steve reached out fumbling in the side table until his fingers closed around the lube. He slicked his palm and took over stroking them both as he kissed Bucky’s throat.

“I won’t do this without you.  I don’t want to.  But with you?  I saw how you looked at her.”  Bucky coaxed.

Steve paused and thought.  The idea was scary.  You don’t see people in relationships like that.  What if you said yes and everyone else attacked them for it?  There was something there though.  It wasn’t just that you were cute.  The way you made him feel,  like it was okay to be open with you.  Your softness that he didn’t see as much in the women he surrounded himself with.  “Okay.  We’ll go see her.  Ask her out to dinner or something.  Just test the water.  I’m not promising anything though.  This is way out of my comfort zone.”  Steve said.

Bucky smiled and ran his hand up Steve’s back.  “This…”  He said gesturing between the two of them.  “Was way out of your comfort zone originally.  Now, look at you.”

Steve laughed and shook his head.  The thought of the three of them in bed together, limbs tangled together.  Sweating and moaning.  Kissing from one person to the other, filled his head.  He moaned and his hand tightened around their cocks.

“You gonna fuck me?  Or do I need to take over?”  Bucky growled.

* * *

 

The following day you were busy at work in the kitchen.  You’d been working at making chocolate geodes for the last eight months.  It was a tortuously slow process.  Making a chocolate shell.  Filling it with colored sugar water.  Turning them every day. You have no idea if it was even working.  Today you were putting the finishing touches on the shell to make it look as much like a stone as you could before you cracked it open and saw if all your work had paid off.

Your leg had been aching since yesterday, so you sat perched on a stool with it resting on an empty chair.

“Hey, you busy?”  Rachel asked poking her head in from the front.  She looked a little frazzled.  Her dark hair had started coming loose from the ponytail she was wearing.  “It’s just Captain America is out here with that other one.  The Winter Soldier or whatever they call him. They asked for you by name.”

You blinked startled.  You hadn’t actually expected to see them again.  “Uhh… can you send them back?”  You asked.   “And uhhh… offer them a drink please.”

She nodded and went back out the front.  A moment later Steve and Bucky stepped through the door.  “Hi fellas.  To what do I owe the pleasure?”  You said smiling up at them warmly as you continued the work.

They returned the smile and approached you.  “Well, you know… we were in the neighborhood.”  Steve replied.

You and Bucky both laughed.  “That was smooth.”  You teased.

“What are you making?”  Bucky asked.  “Looks like a big ugly rock.”

“Bucky!”  Steve yelled, sounding outraged at the slight on your artistic talents.

You laughed and shook your head.  “It’s supposed to look like a big ugly rock.”   You reached over and squeezed Steve’s hand.  “But thank you for defending my honor.”  

You spun the chocolate on its stand and appraised it.  “Does it look enough like a big ugly rock do you think?”

“I doubt it’s gonna get any uglier than that,”  Bucky said.

You picked up a hammer and clever.  “Want to do the honors and crack it in half?”  You asked offering them to Bucky.

Bucky took the tools and put the cleaver on the edge of the chocolate.  You adjusted the position and nodded to him.

“You sure about this doll?  Won’t it ruin it?” Bucky asked.

“Don’t you know, Bucky?  It’s inside that you find the real beauty in things.”  You replied.

Bucky hit the cleaver with the hammer and the chocolate broke into several pieces.  The crystallized sugar inside had worked perfectly.  It looked like you now had pieces of raw amethyst.

Steve and Bucky’s jaws dropped.  “Oh my god, doll.  This is stunning. Can you eat it?”  

“It’s just sugar and chocolate, so yes.  Do you want to taste a little piece?”  You offered.  They each took a small fragment and put them in their mouths.

Steve pulled a face.  “It’s really sweet.”

You laughed.  “I didn’t think you’d like it.  You do though right, Bucky?”

Bucky nodded.  Rachel stepped through the door with two coffees.  “Oh wow!  That has turned out perfectly.  Do you want me to go take it to the floor?”

You shook your head.  “I might crack some of the other colored ones first.  Besides I don’t know what to charge yet.”

Rachel left again, leaving you alone with Buck and Steve.  You got up and hobbled to the shelves, pulling out a large timber box.  You lined it with food grade packaging and then placed the pieces of chocolate on it.  

Bucky and Steve watched you work as they sipped their coffee. When you sat back down you turned to them.  “So did you really just come to watch me work?”  You asked.

Bucky leaned over and wiped his thumb over your cheek.  “Got a little something…”  He said wiping a smear of chocolate off your face.  He sucked his thumb clean with such a wicked look in his eye, that you were pretty sure your panties disintegrated.

“We were wondering if you might like to go out sometime.   We used to go to Coney Island back when we were kids.  We haven’t been since we before the war.  What do you think?”  Steve asked.

You looked from one of them to the other.  Not understanding the motives at all.  Did you really make that much of an impression on them that they would actively pursue a friendship like this?  “Uh… yeah.  Of course.  It would have to be on a Monday or Tuesday though.  I work weekends because it’s when we’re busiest.  Is that okay?”

“Our work hours aren’t exactly normal either.  How about next Monday?  We can come pick you up.”  Steve agreed.

You took his phone and programmed in your number and your address.  “Sounds lovely.  Thank you.”  You said handing it back to him.  You looked at Bucky and point to the fridge.  “Now, I have about 4 more different colored geodes if you boys would like to help me crack them all?”


	3. Juxtapose

You tried on the fifth outfit of the morning.  You couldn’t decide what the hell you should wear today.  It was stupid really.  You were going to hang out with some new friends you’d made.  You were going to Coney Island.  So why had you now tried on five different dresses instead of just putting on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt?  You were going to be riding roller coasters after all.  Shorts and a t-shirt would be practical.  For some reason, you wanted to impress them.

‘For some reason.’  You knew the reason.  You liked them.  Not just in the ‘Oh yay I now have two new gay best friends’ way.  You wanted more than that.  After spending two afternoons with them you were a whole mess of conflicted emotions.  It felt like they were flirting with you.  Which made no sense because they were together.

You could do this though.  You actually really enjoy their company.  After they’d helped you crack your chocolate geodes open they’d stayed and talked.  Drinking cup after cup of coffee.  They watched you sort and weigh the new chocolate and set a price before putting them on the floor.  You and Steve had sketched up a plan for a new chocolate display to go up after Easter.  You’d let them buy you pizza at the place down on the corner of the block and listened while they told you how they met.

So maybe, just maybe if you could spend enough time with them you could put them from the cute guys you had a crush on into my good friends Bucky and Steve.

You assessed yourself in the mirror.  Hair looked pretty good.  Makeup was on point.  You’d chosen a vintage looking halter dress in light blue.  It had the little mermaid on the flared skirt.  You opted for a pair of flat Mary Jane’s in a similar light blue for comfort and you were just pulling them on when your buzzer went off.

You hopped to the intercom.  “Hey, fellas.  I’m almost ready.  You wanna come up?”

Bucky’s voice crackled through the intercom.  “Sure thing, doll.”

You pressed the buzzer and opened your door a crack before resuming buckling up your shoes.  You were just straightening your socks when the two exceedingly large and handsome men stepped through the door.

Steve was wearing a light blue, button-up shirt and tan pants.  The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up revealing his toned and muscular forearms.  He had prominent veins that ran up his arm from his wrists.  This somehow made them the sexiest forearms you’d ever seen in your life.  The top couple of buttons of his shirt were open and you could just see the edge of his collarbone.

Bucky was wearing a pair of black jeans, a grey t-shirt, and a black leather jacket.  He’d shaved and while you think you’d preferred the scruff he’d sported the first few times you’d seen him, shaved you could see the sharp line of his jaw and his cheekbones that could cut glass.  He also had his hair tied back, though stray pieces had escaped and returned to their rightful place, hanging over his blue/grey eyes.

You walked over and greeted them both with a hug and a kiss.  Bucky squeezed you tightly and kissed your cheek.  “You look really pretty, dahlin’.”

“Thank you, Bucky.  You don’t look half bad yourself.”  You replied.  “What’s going on here?”  You asked, rubbing your hand over his jaw.

He shrugged putting his hands in his pockets and you weren’t sure, but for a second you think he might have been blushing.  “Just thought I’d change it up.”  He said running his hand over his cheek.  “I used to shave a lot more.  Didn’t I, Steve?”

Steve nodded.  “He did.  He had much shorter hair too.  You should have seen him in his uniform.”

You turned to Steve.  “Hi, Steve.  You’re also looking very handsome too.”

Steve smiled and put his hand on your shoulder leaning down to kiss you.  Unlike Bucky, his lips met yours and they lingered.  Caressing yours softly before pulling away.  For a second you forgot how to talk.  Luckily you didn’t have to because Steve spoke.

“You look beautiful.”  He said.  “I like your apartment.”

“Thank you.”  You replied, taking a quick glance around to make sure nothing is so untidy to cause you serious shame.  It was all in order.  Your apartment was eclectic and colorful.  Stained glass lamp shades were fitted on all but two of your lamps.  The dining table was a heavy oak, while the chairs were plush purple.  Your couch is shabby, with big squashy cushions.  You picked up your handbag and wrap and Bucky offered you his arm.  You hooked yours through his and the three of you left your apartment and headed out to the street.

You made your way to the subway, your arm linked with Bucky’s.  Steve walked beside you with his hands in his pockets.  When you got to the subway you saw people looking over at them.  A little boy approached Steve and Steve crouched down and spoke to him while you waited for the train to arrive.

“You’re Captain ‘Merica.”  The boys said.

“That’s right, pal,”  Steve replied.

“You’re so big.”  

“That’s because I eat all my vegetables.  Do you eat all yours?”  Steve asked.

The little boy nodded his head enthusiastically.  “I wanna be a hero like you one day.”

Steve fished in his pocket and pulled out his wallet.  He took out a card with a big letter A on it.  “Well when you’re grown up and big and strong like me, you give me a call at the Avengers.   We’d be happy to have you.”

The train arrived and the boy’s mother collected him.  You hopped on the train and find a row of seats beside each other.  Steve sat on one side of you and Bucky the other.  “That was really cute.  You were really good with him.”  You said.

“Steve’s kind of a natural with kids.  He’s 90% dad.”  Bucky said.

You looked up at Bucky.  “Do they ever approach you?”

“Sometimes.  Not often. I’m not as well known and also a little bit scary to kids… to everyone really.”  Bucky shrugged.

You reached up and pinched his cheeks.  “Who’d be scared of this.”

Bucky batted your hands away and shook his head.  “Don’t do that.  You know the answer to that.”

You dropped your hand, feeling guilty.  “Buck?”  Steve said softly.

Bucky shook his head.  “It’s fine.  Sorry, doll.  That’s my own issues.  Not yours.  He takes your hand in his and gives it a squeeze.”

“You guys gonna have kids do you think?”  You asked, in an attempt to change the subject.

Steve sighed and you had a terrible feeling that this was a horrible way to change the subject.

“I want them, but I think I’d be a terrible parent.  I think Steve would be a great parent but he doesn’t want them.”  Bucky answered.

Steve looked at you.  “It’s just with the life we lead.  How could we raise children when we keep getting called away on missions?  You know you would always fight when needed.  Who would take care of them?”  He reaches behind you and rubs Bucky’s neck.  “For what it’s worth, I think you’d be a great dad, Buck.”

You frowned.  “Sorry.  I’m not great at this making new friends thing, am I?”

“What do you mean?”  Steve asked.

“I keep bringing up painful stuff.”   You answered.

Steve shook his head.  “Doesn’t being a friend mean you can talk about painful things?”

You nodded and Bucky squeezed your hand.  “What about you, doll?”  He asked.  “You wanna have kids?”

You nodded. “I think so. Someday.  I am missing one crucial element though.  Someone to have them with.”

Bucky laughed.  “Hopefully that won’t be the case for too long.”

The train filled and Steve got up to let a pregnant lady sit.  Then Bucky stood for an elderly man.  Finally, you relinquished your seat for a young guy on crutches.  You all stood in the middle of the aisle.  Bucky with his arm around your waist to steady you.

“Oh, I have something for you both to try.”  You said, pulling a little paper bag from your handbag.  You took out two truffles, one dark, and one milk chocolate.  You offered one to Steve first.  He bit it in half while you held it to his lips and a drizzle of the gooey filling drips onto his chin. You wiped it with your thumb and when he takes the second half of the truffle his sucks the chocolate from it.  The heat and wet of his tongue pressed against you before his teeth grazed over the pad.

“That’s really good.”  He hummed, looking down at you with those blue eyes of his.  You once again forgot how to speak.  All that you could do was just repeat; ‘he’s a friend’ over and over in your head.

You cleared your throat.  “It’s made with leatherwood honey.  You can only get it from this small island in Australia.  It’s really expensive but the flavor is so different isn’t it?  I thought I’d try it out.”

Steve nodded.  “It’s sweet but really strong.”

You smirked at him.  “Like someone else I know.”

You turned to Bucky and held up the truffle.  He snapped his teeth at you and took the whole thing at once.  “Oh shit, yeah that’s good.”  He said, through a mouthful.  “You gonna sell these?”

You shook your head.  “Too hard to source the honey.  I just wanted to try it out.”

You got to the Coney Island stop and filed out.  Bucky took your hand and you linked your fingers with his metal ones.  They were cool, but his touch was delicate.  He looked down at you and smiled.

As you made your way into the park you looked up at Bucky.  “How come you’re holding my hand?  Shouldn’t you be holding his hand?”  You gestured to Steve who is walking just ahead of you.

“Steve doesn’t like public displays of affection,”  Bucky said, simply.

You pulled Bucky so you were all walking side-by-side.  “Is this true?”  You asked, putting your arm around Steve’s tiny waist.  “You don’t like touching your boyfriend in public.”

Steve looked down at you.   “I just don’t like making other people uncomfortable.”

“Steve!”  You said shocked.  “Kiss your boyfriend, Steve!”

Bucky moved to the other side of Steve and wrapped his arm around his waist too.  “Yeah, Steve!  Kiss your boyfriend!”  He shouted.

Steve turned red and he shook his head.

“Do it!”  You shout.  “Or we’ll keep making a scene!”

“Yeah!  Do it!”  Bucky yelled.

Steve stopped and dipped Bucky back kissing him deeply and softly.  Bucky’s hands went up and wrapped around Steve’s neck.  For a moment they just lost themselves to each other.

“Happy?”  Steve asked, letting Bucky go.

“Yeah.  Are you?”  Bucky asked.

Steve nodded, a smile playing over his lips.  “Yeah.  I’m really happy.”

You all started walking again.  This time Bucky and Steve held hands and you were left to walk beside them.  Steve reached out to you and put his arm around your shoulders.  “What would you like to do?”  He asked.

“You guys gonna win me a prize?” You asked.

Steve laughed and shook his head.  “Oh god…”

“Hey, I am an expert sniper now.  I’ve got this.”  Bucky said.

They approached one of those shooting galleries and Bucky handed over the money needed to play.  He picked up the rifle and ran his hand down the barrel.  He held it up to his eye and took a breath in.  As he released it, he fired.  You watched in awe as every shot hit its intended target.  He only aimed for the high scoring things.  One after another, targets fell until he is out of time.  You and the guy running the game just stared open-mouthed.  Only Steve doesn’t seem surprised.  Bucky put the gun down and for a moment he just stared blankly.  Steve reached over and squeezed his hand.  Bucky turned to him and his eyes lit up.  “See.  Still cost me $3 though.  Damn inflation.”

The guy pulled down a large stuffed unicorn and you took it still slightly in shock.  You turned to Bucky and Steve.  “It’s so fluffy!”  You squealed and shook it.  They both gave you puzzled looks.

“Oh right.  That’s a line from a movie.”   You said.  “You probably haven’t seen it.”  You all started walking again this time in the direction of the rides.

Steve pulled out a notebook.  “What’s the name of the movie?”  He asked.  “I’ll put it on the list.”

“I wouldn’t bother.”  You said.  “It’s a decent movie, but if you have avoided the minions this long, you should count yourself lucky.”

“You mean those yellow pill-shaped guys with the big eyes?”  Steve asked.  You nodded.  “Those are annoying.”  He added.

“They are.”  You agreed.  “And you can’t escape them.  It’s a plague.”

Steve chuckled and puts his notebook away.

You ended up riding most of the rides together.  Steve wouldn’t go on the cyclone.  After you got off you knew why.  You felt nauseated and your bones hurt.  Bucky was just delighted.  You got cotton candy and hand fed it to Bucky as you left the park that night.  You stopped to eat at a pizza place in Brooklyn that might be the best place you’ve ever eaten pizza in your life before heading back home again.

The day had been amazing.  You got on so well.  You loved Bucky’s sense of humor and how tactile he was.  How he was a little bit scary but really what he was mostly was vulnerable and kind.  You loved how Steve made you feel like everything you said was the most important thing in the world.  How he trusted your opinion on things.  How he looked when you got him to laugh.  Your crush had not abated at all.  It was now all-consuming and you weren’t sure what to do about it.  They were so awesome and so in love with each other.  You didn’t want to not be friends with them, but you had no idea how to keep this in check.

The boys walked you home and you invited them up for coffee but they tell you they’d better be getting home before heading back to the subway station.

“Did you have a good time?”  Bucky asked as they watched you disappear inside.

They both started walking hands linked.  “I did.  I kept avoiding Coney Island because I thought the changes would remind me of how much I don’t belong here.  But the fact I was with you and her and the Cyclone was still there.  And the carousel and the trapeze.  They were all there with new stuff.  They belonged just as much as the new things did.”

Bucky turned to Steve and smiled.  “I liked that too. I like her.  Do you?”

They went through the gates of the subway and Steve stopped to think.  The truth was he did really like you.  He liked how easily you laughed and how it took you over when you did.  He liked that you seemed to care about them.  Both as individuals and as a couple.  He liked how you were so free with your affection.  He just had no idea how to ask you to do this.  He had enough trouble just asking someone out on a regular date.  “I do.  I like how she makes me feel.  I like how she is with you.  How you look when you touch her.  I like how giving she is and her sense of humor.”  He took a breath and looks at Bucky as the train pulled up.

They both get on and stand near the bar at the door.  Bucky slipped his hand into Steve’s back pocket.  A middle-aged man rolled his eyes at them, but the look Bucky gave him made the guy get up and change carriages.  “Should we ask her then?  I think she might feel the same way.”

Steve leaned into Bucky a little.  “I want to.  I do.  I just - how do you ask for that?”


	4. Everything They're Not.

Steve’s hand closed around your throat.  You could feel his hot breath on your ear.  “This is what you wanted, wasn’t it?” He growled.  His fingers tightened and you felt hands on your legs. One warm and calloused.  The other cold and smooth. You looked down at Bucky crawling up between your legs.

“It’s okay, doll.”  Bucky purred. “We’ll take care of you.”

His lips touched your pubic mound and his tongue swiped up.

You gasped and your eyes flew open.  The sound of your alarm buzzed in your ears.  You rolled over and switched it off. You were slick with sweat and your cunt tingled.

“Fuck.”  You cursed, sitting up.  This was bad. Really bad.  You were trying so hard to keep your crush on your friends under control.  They were so good to you. You hated that there was this part of you that seemed completely unwilling to be okay with just friends.  That you kept have thoughts of them fucking you intrude on you while you masturbated. That sometimes just remembering when they both gave you a hug at the same time was the thing that made you want to masturbate in the first place.

You got out of bed and headed for the shower.  Your friendship with the boys had grown really strong in the last month.  It was weird to get so deeply attached to people so quickly as an adult as you were to Bucky and Steve.  They were your best friends. Simple as that. You loved talking with them. You loved being with them. You loved them.

They came to visit you at work most days.  They just hung out with you and the people who worked in the kitchen of your chocolate shop, joining in conversations that were happening around them.  The others were so star stuck to begin with. Soon they just expected them to be there for an hour or so a day. When they didn’t show they felt disappointed.

On most of the days they did show up they would force you to go out to lunch with them.  Sometimes Bucky would literally drag you out the door. If you were really too caught up with work Steve would duck out and come back with something.  Subs, pizza, perogies from the food cart that hung around outside the Avengers Tower entrance.

On your days off they took you out.  Sometimes to see movies. Sometimes just to hang out in Central Park.  They’d come over to your place some nights and you’d make dinner together.  Bucky was a surprisingly good cook. Steve had now seen all your art and he’d shown you all of his.

They were so touchy too, which didn’t help.  Bucky more than Steve. Bucky would sometimes stand behind you while you worked and just lean his chin on your shoulder and watch you paint different colored chocolate onto some sculpture you were making.  If you were out walking he held your hand or had his arm around your shoulders. But it wasn’t just Bucky. In private, Steve was just as tactile as Bucky. There was a lot of incidental touching. Hands skimming over your arm as you passed him, fingers running up the outside of your thigh as you sat beside him.  He always had his hands on Bucky too. When Bucky and you cooked. Steve got in the way, his arms wrapped around Bucky’s waist, watching. When you sat and watched TV together you often ended up in a little puppy pile up, Steve on the bottom, Bucky leaning against him and you leaning on Bucky.

They’d only been away on a mission once since you met.  It took them out of town for three days. When they got back Bucky was sullen and surly.  They’d not visited you at work that day but they’d shown up on your doorstep that night. You’d ordered in Chinese takeout and your normally happy, talkative Bucky sat curled up and brooding on your couch.  Steve just sat with him as you both talked running his fingers through Bucky’s hair until Bucky had just fallen asleep.

“I’m really sorry.” Steve had said.  “I hate taking him on missions. He always steps in and does the things I can’t bring myself to do.  It makes him have a huge mental health backslide. He refuses to stay behind though. I would normally stay with him at the tower after a mission.  Take a bath. Have an early night. He just really wanted to see you.”

That had shocked you quite a lot.  He’d barely even looked you in the eye the whole time he’d been there.  “He wanted to see me? Why?”

Steve had taken your hand and kissed your fingers.  “Because you aren’t tainted by that.”

That night they had both slept over.  You’d asked about what had happened to Bucky that had made him have these episodes in the first place.  Steve had said that wasn’t for him to tell. You’d ended up tucking Bucky in on the couch and Steve had slept on the floor beside him.  You’d had a spare room but he’d not wanted to leave his side.

You found out why in the middle of the night.  Bucky had woken screaming and you’d rushed into your living room to find him being held by Steve.  “Nightmares.” Steve had whispered. You’d nodded and gone to leave but Bucky had called you over. You’d wrapped him in your arms and the three of you had fallen asleep like that.

Even seeing him vulnerable like that hadn’t dampened the huge crush you had on both of them.  And now you were having sex dreams? There was only one thing you could do. You needed to find yourself someone to actually date.  Them being around you all the time, being so intimate and tactile had obviously pushed them into the wrong category in your subconscious mind.  Maybe getting laid would help knock them into the right zone.

You showered, dressed, and headed into work.  You spent the morning doing paperwork. Ordering supplies.  Making sure your staff got paid this week. Talking with your accountant.  All the fun stuff. By 11 you were carving a custom dragon sculpture for a client.  Steve and Bucky showed up, their coffee already in hand and pulled their stools up at the bench beside you.

You chatted for a while.  Bucky seemed to be mostly back to his old self again.  He was laughing and stealing pieces of the chocolate you’d carved off the sculpture.  At 11.30 Tony Stark came in.

“Well, this explains everything!”  He announced loudly. “I was sure that Cap had adopted you, but you never came by.  They’ve been here the whole time haven’t they?”

Steve sighed.  “Tony…” He said sounding like he was about to start a lecture.  About what you had no idea. You looked at Bucky and you both just started giggling.

Tony patted Steve on the shoulder.  “Hey! It’s cool, big guy. I just like being right.  You can collect as many strays as you like.” He turned to you.  “Well, this makes things quite convenient actually. I was coming by because I’m having a party this weekend and I wanted to get you to do one of your chocolate fountain packages catered.  If you’ve been hanging out with these two you should come as a guest instead.”

You smiled up at Tony.  “You’re in luck. I usually pay people to do that for me so you can have both.”

“Excellent!”  Tony cheered.

***

When the party came around you dressed up.  You wore a blue asymmetric cocktail dress and styled your hair up.  You took care doing your makeup. Winged eyeliner, dark lips. Finally, you paired it with blue slingbacks and headed to the tower.

You were overdressed.  You didn’t even care because the way Steve and Bucky looked at you for just one moment made you forget they were actually gay.  Bucky looked at you like a predator. All hunger and lust. Steve, on the other hand, lit up like he’d just seen the person he was about to marry.

“You look beautiful.”  He said, coming over and kissing you softly on the lips.

“Thank you.”  You turned to Bucky and twirled.  “What do you think?”

“Doll, you look good enough to eat.”   He said and kissed your cheek.

The boys were dressed casually.  Steve in his standard tan pants and a checked shirt.  Bucky in black jeans and a white t-shirt. You stood and talked to them for a little while when Bruce came over and asked Bucky for help with something.  

You decided to check out the chocolate fountains and see that everything was as it should be.  There were three fountains. One dark, one milk, and one white. Each was large and multi-tiered.  There were fruits and marshmallows and small slices of cake on plates mounded up around the base. Anne, the girl you’d put on to work the party was also making hot chocolate with steamed milk with the chocolate from the fountains.

Steve followed you to the fountain.  He picked up a strawberry and dunked it under the dark chocolate and offered it to you.  You took a bite and the bitter, sweet and tart flavors all mixed in your mouth. You hummed happily as you chew and juice from the strawberry runs down your chin.

“Good?”  Steve asked.

“Mm-hmm…” You hummed.  “I think chocolate coated strawberries are my favorite.”

Steve went to offer you the rest but you grabbed his wrist and turned his hand back to his own face smashing the fruit against his lips.  You both started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”  A man asked approaching you, a large smile on his face.

Steve shook his head.  “You had to be here.” Steve introduced the man as Sam.   It’s a name you’d heard a lot from the boys. They talked about him constantly.  You also realized he was the one the public knew as Falcon. The guy with the wings.

“Oh yeah, I’ve heard about you,”  Sam said, taking your hand and kissing the back of your fingers.  “I hear you like chocolate.”

You giggled and felt a warmth spread through you.  “I’ve been known to partake.” You said.

“That’s what I like to hear,”  Sam said, moving a little closer to you.  “So Cap was telling me you like that little Italian place down the road…”

Steve cleared his throat.  “Sorry Sam, I just … I’ll bring her right back.” He grabbed your hand and started dragging you through the party.

You looked back at Sam and mouthed ‘sorry’.  He shrugged and turned to the chocolate fountain like erratic behavior of Steve Rogers was the least surprising thing in the world.  Steve dragged you down two flights of stairs and into a room. You looked around briefly. It was mostly shades of grey. There is a king-sized bed with a gray bedspread, neatly made.  On one side table were just an old-fashioned alarm clock, a lamp and a book with a bookmark. Whereas on the other was a random selection of things in a mess. You saw a photograph of a woman in a military uniform and realized this was Steve and Bucky’s bedroom.

“What’s the matter?”  You asked looking up at Steve now he had finally stopped moving.

Steve wouldn’t look you in the eye and he shook his head.  You cupped his jaw and turned him to face you, looking into his blue eyes.  “Tell me.”

“Please don’t go out with him.”  Steve pleaded.

You looked at him puzzled.  “But you and Bucky always talk about Sam.   I thought he was your best friend.”

“He is,”  Steve said.

“So what’s the matter?”  You asked.

Steve looked at you, brow furrowed.  “It’s just - I just…” He started to lean in, lips parted.  For less than a heartbeat, you thought, ‘Oh my god. He likes me like that.  I can be with Steve.’ Then the image of Steve kissing Bucky filled your mind and you ducked out of the way of Steve’s lips.

“What the fuck, Steve?  What was that?” You yelled, backing away from him.

“I - I …”  His eyes darted around the room like he was searching for a lifeline.  “I think … No… not think. I’m in love with you.”

You walked over to him and slapped him across the face.  Hard. The sound of the crack echoed through the room. “You’re in love with me?”  You yelled. You pointed to the side of the bed that obviously belonged to Bucky. “Are you forgetting about someone?”

Steve looked startled more than hurt.  He rubbed his cheek and his eyes darted between you and Bucky’s side of the bed.  “No… Bucky, he… wait here. Please? I’ll get him.”

Steve dashed out of the room and you started pacing.  You couldn’t believe Steve would want to cheat on Bucky like that.  They had always seemed so perfect and in love. The thought of how Bucky was going to take this made you feel sick to your stomach.

They both entered the room and you rushed over to Bucky throwing your arms around him.  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I ever led him on. You don’t deserve this.”

“Hey… Shhh…”  Bucky soothed.  His hand went to your hair and smoothed over it.

“He tried to kiss me.”  You said.

“I know.  He told me.  It’s okay.” He said.   “I think we might need to talk.”

He walked you over to the bed and you sat on the side.  Bucky sat beside you and faced you, holding your hands in his.  You looked up at Steve who is standing at the door arms folded over his chest.

Bucky took a deep breath and said your name. He then looks over at Steve.   “Man, you’re right. This is really hard.”

“What’s going on?”  You asked. Fear and confusion had started to take hold and you think if someone doesn’t tell you what’s happening right now you may actually have a panic attack.

“Steve and I… both of us… we’ve fallen for you.  We still love each other. That hasn’t changed. We just also love you.  Not just as a friend. Though if you’re not interested in us like that, or you don’t want to explore the feelings I’m pretty confident you’ve been having, we’ll take friend.”  Bucky explained.

By the time he finished talking your heart was beating so hard it felt like it was trying to explode out of your chest and fuck-off out of the room.  “Explore what exactly. I don’t understand what you’re suggesting here.”

Bucky squeezed your hands and Steve took a hesitant step towards you.  “I’m suggesting that instead of you being our friend, maybe you could be our girlfriend.”

Now it felt like your heart had stopped.  Bucky was sitting here offering the thing you’d been dreaming about and instead of being excited, you were terrified.  You pulled your hands away from his and dragged them down your face. “How…” You looked at Bucky feeling pure anguish.  “Bucky… How would that even work?”

Steve took another step forward and dropped his hands to his side.

“Well, to start with… the same as now.  Only maybe with a little more kissin’.” Bucky smiled.  His smile made you smile too and you scooted a little closer to him.  Like your body was automatically seeking the warmth and comfort he had always provided you in the past.

“Then, if that was workin’ okay, maybe we could add this bit.”  He patted the bed and it made you giggle. He put his arm around your shoulder in a gesture of comfort more than anything else.   “After that, maybe you could move in here with us if things are going well. We just have the life that a normal couple has. Only… there’s three of us.”

You didn’t say anything for a while.  You just thought. You thought of all the ways this could go sour.  People judging you. Jealousy of each other. What if one of them died on a mission?  How they were both a hundred years old but looked like they were in the late twenties and how that might mean they didn’t actually age and when you do they might just get bored of you.

“What about your friends and family?”  You asked.

“Sweetheart, you’re looking at our family,”   Steve said. “And our friends just want us to be happy.  They’ll think it’s strange. They’ll tease us a little. But they’ll accept it.”  He crouched down in front of you. “Is that something you’re worried about? How your friends and family accept it?”

You nodded.

“What else?  Talk to us about what you’re feeling.”  Steve said.

“What if people attack us or ridicule us?  What if we start getting jealous of each other because we think there’s a favorite.  What if I always just feel like the third? What if you both never age and you get sick of me?”  You said, spewing the words out as quickly as you could manage.

Steve reached up and caressed your cheek with his thumb.  “You know why you’re worried?”

“Because it seems crazy?”  You answered.

“Well yes.  But you’re also worried because you’re considering it.  You love us don’t you?” He asked.

You nodded.  “That doesn’t mean I want what you’re suggesting though.”

Steve shook his head.  “No, it doesn’t. You can take your time coming to a decision.  It took us a month to get the courage up to ask you. We can’t expect you to be braver than us.”

You swallowed and stayed silent again.  “Why me?”

“Oh, doll… Can’t you feel it?”  Bucky said.

Steve smiled up at Bucky.  “Bucky once said to me that I am everything he’s not.  I don’t think that’s true at all. It is true that we’re very different people who compliment each other very well.  But there is something missing. We are damaged. Maybe we can get by without that thing we’re both missing. We were getting by for quite a while.  Then we met you. Now we don’t really want to anymore.”

You teared up at his words and he wiped the one escapee away with his thumb.

“Can you at least think about it?”  Bucky asked. “I love you, dahlin. I really want to give this a shot.”

You looked into his eyes.  So full of hope and love. There was a huge part of you that just wanted to say yes so that did fade and he would start kissing you and then Steve would too.  For now, reason willed out. “I need time.”

“Time we have plenty of,”  Steve said. He tilted your head back to face him and your eyes flicked to his lips.  For a split second your willpower almost gave out, but you dragged your eyes back to his.  “Just promise me this; you’ll remember that we’re your friends first. We talk to each other about things, don’t we?  So don’t bottle things up. You won’t lose us if you say no. We are here for you no matter what.”

You fell into him.  Your arms wrapping around his neck.  You buried your face in his neck and just started sobbing.  You weren’t even sure where this sadness was coming from. Steve’s arms closed around you automatically and his hands went to your hair.  You felt the press of Bucky behind you and he rested his cheek on the back of your head as he held you too.

“Hey now.  Where’s this coming from?”  Bucky asked.

“Why are you so good to me?  Why can’t you be assholes a little bit so I’d have some tangible thing to grab to why this won’t work?”  You sobbed.

Steve started to laugh, followed by Bucky.  Then finally you joined them. That weird mix of both crying and laughter.  When Steve stopped laughing he held you at arm’s length and looked at you. “You don’t need a tangible reason to say either no or yes.  You just need to feel it either way. Remember that too. If you say no. We won’t ask why. No is enough.”

You swallowed, and this time reason flew out the window.  You leaned in and kissed him. Not one of the lingering closed-mouth pecks that made your scalp prickle when he normally kissed you.  You kissed him deeply and with all the love and desire for him that you’d been keeping squashed down until now. You kissed him until your lips went numb and you keep kissing him after that.

When you pulled away you both gasped for air, and Steve shook his head like he was trying to clear it.  “Is that a ‘yes’?” Bucky asked, looking at you hopefully.

You nodded your head.

“Can I get me one of those?”  He asked. You nodded again and leaned in toward him.  He brought his lips to yours and a new chapter of your life started.

 


	5. The Perfect Spring Day

Steve and Bucky stepped out of the Subway into the sun.  Bucky put his sunglasses on, while Steve just blinked up at the bright blue sky.  It was one of those perfect spring days. Just coming into summer where the sky was blue and it was warm without being too hot.  Steve hoped it was a good sign for things to come. That a perfect first date would lead to a lot more.

They walked side-by-side toward your apartment.  Steve straight-backed with his shoulders thrown back and his head held high.  While Bucky is hunched with his hands in his pockets.

Bucky had started to worry.  He worried that this whole thing was a bad idea.  That trying to change the relationship the three of you shared already was going to put too much strain on everything and you’d all end up with nothing.

He took his hand from his pocket and hesitantly pressed his palm against Steve’s.  Steve linked his fingers with Bucky’s and looked over at him. “What’s the matter, Buck?”

“What if this is a bad idea?  We’re happy, aren’t we? What if changing it ruins it?”  Bucky asked.

Steve smiled.  This was a conversation they’d had so many times now, normally with him on the other side.  These last-minute nerves he’d expected. But he’d expected he was going to be the one that had them.

“Buck, you are the reason I get up in the morning.  When you were gone I wanted to go right along with you.  I couldn’t even do that properly. Without you, I gave up on this kind of life.  I became Captain America and that’s all I was. It wasn’t until you came back that I thought maybe I could have this.”  He raised Bucky’s fingers to his lips and kissed them. “I literally kissed the first woman who was nice to me.”

Bucky laughed.  “That was Peggy’s niece, man.”

Steve groaned.  “I know!”

“Just after her funeral and everything.”

Steve put his arm around Bucky’s shoulders.  “Gimme a break, I was dealing with a lot of emotions.  Peggy died. I just got you back. My friend had had me arrested.”

Bucky laughed.  “I was sittin’ in the back of that tiny fuckin’ car.  If you’d just gotten in the backseat with me…”

They stopped walking at the stairs to your building and Steve turned to face Bucky.  He ran his hand along Bucky’s jaw. “I love you, pal. I will always love you. Til the end of the line.  If you don’t want to do this, we won’t. But I like her. And I know you like her too. And… if I’m honest I think we both need her.  Like you said. She’s not part of that.” He gestured in the direction of the Avenger’s tower off in the distance. “And she’s so sweet and so good.  Don’t you want that?”

Bucky nodded.  “You won’t both leave me?”

Steve pulled Bucky into a kiss.  It was deep and hard and his hands carded through Bucky’s hair. When he pulled back he rested his forehead against Bucky’s.  “What do you say, jerk?”

Bucky took a breath.  “Yeah. I want this.”

They turned and pressed the buzzer to your apartment.

***

Upstairs you were having your own crisis.  Ever since they had asked to go down this path with them, you’d been looking up polyamory on the internet.  At times you were excited. You couldn’t believe that these men wanted you like this. To know it was more than just a sex thing made you feel special in a way that no one had ever made you feel.

But it was still scary.  There were times where you were sure this wouldn’t work.  So far you’d lived your life unable to find one person you could envision a life with.  Now there were two at once? How is that even possible? How would other people react? Would the pressure to conform to what society said was acceptable get to you?

You’d spent the morning laying out clothes.  Trying to get the perfect outfit for the day you had planned.  You tried to eat breakfast but your stomach was in knots. You managed to eat two spoonfuls of cereal before it felt like it was going to come back up again.

You had now been ready to go, dressed in a long white shirt over a pair of denim shorts and tan sandals.  You had just been sitting playing with your fingernails waiting and trying really hard not to chicken out.  You kept telling yourself how stupid it was. You’d seen them every day since you’d kissed them both for the first time.  They still came into your shop every day. So why was this different?

The buzzer went off and you scooped up your handbag and rushed to the door.  “Coming down.” You yelped into the intercom and you dashed out the door so fast you nearly forget to lock it behind you.

You took the stairs two at a time and jumped out onto the sidewalk.  The three of you just stood, staring at each other awkwardly for a moment.  The word ‘mistake’ screamed through your mind.

Then Steve stepped forward and put his hands on your shoulders.  He leaned down and kissed you softly. “You look beautiful.” He said.

“Thank you.”  You smiled up at him.  “You always say that though.”

“That’s because it’s always true.”

You held out your hand to Bucky and he linked his fingers with yours.  The three of you started walking back in the direction of the Subway station.

“Did you bring me a present?”  Bucky asked as you walked along.

You grinned you up at him.  “You know me so well.”

You reached into your handbag and pull out a little wax-lined paper bag.  Bucky pulled out a strip of flat misshapen chocolate dotted with salt and pieces of crystallized ginger.  “What is it?” He asked.

“Chocolate coated bacon.”  You replied.

He eyed you suspiciously and then took a bite.  He chewed two times and moaned so deeply that you couldn’t help but picture him deep inside of you and you pulling on his hair.  It sent a shiver up your spine. “Good?”

“Holy shit.”  Bucky moaned shoving the rest of the piece into his mouth and just talking through it.  “Where have you been all my life?”

You laughed.  “Well, I hadn’t been born for 75% of it.”

He elbowed you.  “I was talking to the bacon.”

Steve reached over you and took his own piece.  This one flecked with pistachio nuts. He took a hesitant bite and as the flavors mixed in his mouth, salty and smoky and sweet, he closed his eyes and hummed.  You wrapped your arm around his waist and he leaned down and kissed you. You ran your tongue over his bottom lip, tasting the remnants of the sugar and salt there.

You made it to the subway station and walked down the stairs and through the turnstile, one after the other.  First Steve, then you and then Bucky. When you get to the platform Bucky wrapped his arms around you from behind and you leaned back into him.

“How come Steve has had two kisses already and I’ve had none?”  He whispered in your ear.

You leaned your head back against his shoulder and he pressed his lips to yours.  The kiss was cut short by the arrival of the R train and you all climbed on, standing by the pole between the two sets of doors.

“I’m really going to need to eat.”  You said as you leaned against Bucky.  Steve had his hand on your hip and Bucky put his hand on Steve’s.

“Sure. We can take you to the Plaza if you like?”  Steve suggested.

You wrinkled your nose.  “Maybe another time. This is a low key date.  Let’s keep it that way. Just a food cart is fine.  I just was so nervous this morning. I couldn’t bring myself to eat.  But now we’re doing it. I feel good. You’re just my boys.”

The train pulled up and you made your way to the Grand Army Plaza.  You stopped and got hot dogs from a cart outside and headed into the park walking towards the zoo.  At the zoo, Steve insisted on paying despite the fact you reminded him that your business was actually extremely successful and it was quite possible you make more money than he does.  He doesn’t back down though so you let him have his victory.

“The zoo was a good idea.”  You said as you started wandering the park.

“We debated for a while,”  Steve said.

“Steve really wanted to do the romantic dinner and dancing.  But I was like, ‘Steve, which one of us gets to do the dancing?’”  Bucky laughed.

“We ended up deciding on the zoo because it was here when we were kids.  We thought it might be nice to do something we might have done back when we were younger and dating.”  Steve explained. “Or he was dating and dragging me along too.”

You nudged Bucky.  “Were you a bit of a ladies man, Buckaroo?”

“I didn’t do too bad for myself.”  He replied, trying to sound cocky but blushing a little.

“So you’ve been with women before?”  You asked, linking your fingers together with Bucky’s as a way to reassure him.

He ran his hand through his hair and feigned a deep interest in a Macaw parrot.  “Yeah. A few. I’ve been with a few.”

You tugged his hand and kept him walking.  “Why are you embarrassed about it?” You asked.  “You’d not be my first guy. Or second. Or some number down the list.”

Bucky shrugged.  “I just sometimes feel really disconnected to who I was back then.  I try not to let it bother me. But something about thinking of those girls feels so alien to me now.  I wasn’t being who I was supposed to be back then. And now I’ll never get to know what would have happened if I had tried.”

You stopped walking and Bucky turned to face you.  You wrapped your arms around his neck and he nuzzled into yours.  “I never knew that guy, Buck. I never knew the other guy either, the one you don’t talk to me about.”  You whispered as you ran your fingers through his hair.

He nodded his head against your neck.  Steve approached and ran his hands down Bucky’s back.

“I know this guy though.”  You whisper. “I like him a lot.  And I want to learn about what makes him, him.  But not if it hurts you.”

“No… no, I should talk about it.”  He whispered. “I will.”

The three of you just stood there holding each other until Bucky pulled away.  You kissed him before he was able to get too far. A deep, slow kiss. When you break it, Steve takes over from you.  You noticed a few funny looks, but they quickly turn away and keep moving.

When Steve and Bucky stopped kissing you began walking again.  “What about you, Steve? You been with girls before? That Peggy you drew?”

Steve shook his head.  “Just Bucky. I went into the ice before Peggy and I had a chance to do anything much.  I’m historically known for waiting too long.”

You hooked your arm into his elbow.  “Better not let that happen again.”

Steve smiled down at you.  “No. I try not to continue making the same mistake over and over.”

“Only need to make it about twenty times right?”  Bucky teased.

Steve laughed.  “Something like that.”

You spotted your favorite animal and rushed over to get a closer look.  There were two red pandas. One was high up in the enclosure, sleeping curled up.  The other was down lower chewing on some bamboo.

Steve nudged Bucky.  “Look. It’s you.”

Bucky laughed and put his arms around both yours and Steve’s waists.  “These guys are my favorite. You know they have 6 fingers? The five regular ones and a modified bone in their wrist that acts like an opposable thumb for holding bamboo.”  You explained. “They also are evolved to eat meat, but their diet is 95% bamboo. So they have to eat so much to get the right amount of nutrients. Sometimes up to eight pounds.”

“Definitely you,”  Steve added.

“How do you know so much about them?”  Bucky asked.

“I just love them.  I like to know everything I can about the things I love.”  You replied.

You spent most of the afternoon at the zoo.  You saw the seal show and ate hot pretzels. It was fun and even with the funny looks, you all got sometimes, it felt good.  You couldn’t get enough of being with them. Steve got stopped several times. Usually by children but sometimes by adults wanting to thank him and asking for hugs and selfies.  A couple of times they wanted to speak to Bucky too. Each time Bucky got a little quiet, but afterward, he had more of a spring in his step.

When you were done, you walked back out to the Grand Army Plaza.  “Have you ever been on a carriage ride?” Steve asked.

You shook your head.  “No, never.”

“Me either.  We should. What do you think, Buck?”  Steve said.

Bucky smiled.  “Yeah. Sounds good, Stevie.”

The fact you even seemed to be considering it drew the attention of one of the carriage operators.  This time you insisted on paying and the three of you climbed into the back. You snuggled down between them.

“Thank you for taking me out.  I’ve had a really good time.” You said, taking each of their hands in yours.

“Thanks for agreeing to come.  I know it’s kinda weird. I’m happy you’re taking the risk, doll.”  Bucky replied.

“Can I ask?  How do you both see this going?  I mean long term. We’ll never all be able to get married.  Am I just a passing interest? Something to try out so you can say you did it?”  You asked.

Both Bucky and Steve’s fingers tightened around yours.  “No. Oh, darlin’ you aren’t that.” Bucky said.

“This is new to us too.  But we have talked. We don’t want to rush or put too high expectations on it.”  Steve explained. “We’re going in not with the plan to break up. But for us to have a relationship.  A full one with all the things a relationship would have. A wedding is out you’re right. But we can still have a family if that’s where this takes us.”

You nodded your head and chewed your bottom lip.  “Okay.” You said. “I like that.”

As the carriage wound through the park the sun began to set.  Steve and Bucky put their arms behind your back and moved a little closer to you.  You weren’t quite sure how the kissing started but it did. First you and Steve. Slow and soft.  No tongue but he did suck on your bottom lip.

As your lips started to tingle Bucky took over.  His tongue coaxed its way into your mouth and pressed against yours.  His stubble scratched your skin.

When you finally broke apart you felt light headed and a little dazed.  The three of you watched as the sun disappeared over the horizon. It lit up the city like it was on fire before all the lights switched on.

You headed back to your apartment via the subway.  As you walked back toward your place you decided to stop at a French bistro that is more cute than upmarket and get something to eat.

By the time you got home, it was late and you felt amazing.  This was the start of something. Something that had the potential to not just be good, but to be your love story.  The one with the happy ending.

You took out your keys and turned to them both.  Bucky wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you against him, kissing you hungrily.  Your hands went to his hair and tugged on it as his leg pushed between yours. You whimpered against his lips.

“Would you both like to come upstairs?”  You asked, a little breathless.

Bucky let you go and looked at Steve.  Steve took a deep breath in and let it out as a sigh.  “Not this time.”

“I thought you weren’t going to take too long again?”  You asked, biting your bottom lip.

He put his hands on your shoulders and looked down into your eyes.  “There is taking too long. And there’s rushing things. I think for the three of us, it’s important we don’t rush.  There’s too much at stake.”

You looked into his eyes and nodded.  “I suppose you’re right.”

“I did have a really nice time today.”  He added. He cupped your face in his hands and kissed you. You stumbled back against a wall and his tongue slipped into your mouth.  Your hands slid down his chest, hugging the contours of his body before slipping into his belt.

When he pulled back you blink up at him.  “Wow.”

He smiled at you.  “We’ll see you tomorrow.”  He said.

“Okay.”  You straightened out and went to put your keys in the door.  “Hey, wait. You guys get to go home and have as much sex as you want.  The only one who has to go slow is me.”

Steve laughed and shook his head.  “Okay. Tell you what. Until we’re either all ready, or we decide this isn’t working, Bucky and I won’t have sex either.”

“Woah… hey now.  Let’s not make any rash decisions.”  Bucky yelped, holding his hands up.

“I think it’s fair.  We wanna do this together we should be in it together.”  Steve said.

“Yeah, Buck.  If I’m celibate so are you.”  You teased.

“Fuck!  What the fuck did I sign up for?”  Bucky cursed. “Fine. Fine. No funny business.”

You pecked his lips softly.  “Thanks, Buck.”

“Good thing I love you.”  He said.

“Love you too.”.

They watched as you went inside before they started walking back to the subway.  Bucky punched Steve in the arm. “No fuckin’ sex. Stevie. You’re killin’ me here.”

“I promise it won’t be too long.  I just need to be sure. But it feels right, right?  I can picture us.” Steve said.

“Yeah, and I will be picturing us when I get back to the tower and jerk off in the shower,”  Bucky grumbled. “No fuckin’ sex.” He turned his head and looked at Steve. “I tell ya what though.  She offers again and I’m leaving you downstairs to wait for me.”

Steve slung his arm around Bucky’s shoulder.  “I love you too, ya jerk.”

Bucky rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, yeah. I know, ya punk.”


	6. Rounding the Bases

Bucky woke suddenly.  He was spread out on his back with Steve lying on his side facing him, his hand resting on Bucky’s stomach.  Bucky had two main sleeping positions. When he was struggling with his mental health it was curled up as small as possible and as close to Steve as he could get.  When he was feeling well, it was stretched out on his back, taking up as much room as he could. Steve would have to just find a spot next to him. He never minded though, he was just happy Bucky was feeling well.

Bucky had been dreaming about you.  Well, the three of you really. Both you and Steve on your knees in front of him taking turns sucking his cock.  He’d woken up with a throbbing erection.

He got up and headed to the shower.  It had been 2 months since the sex embargo had been put into place and he’d developed a morning routine of waking up from some sex dream, heading to the shower and jerking off while he tried to hold the image from his dream in his head.   The embargo couldn’t end soon enough.

He turned on the water and leaned against the wall.  He slowly started rubbing his palm up and down his cock.  He pictured your lips, painted cherry red and wrapped around his girth as you looked up at him.  Steve pressed behind him. The feel of his cock against his ass. Bucky groaned and his hand moved faster, tugging a little harder.

His head dropped forward.  The hot water plastered his long hair to his face.  Percome leaked from the head of his cock and ran down over his knuckles.

The bathroom door opened and Steve stepped in.   Bucky tried to block him out as he heard him shuffle through the bathroom and raise the toilet seat.  He winced as he heard the sound of urine hitting the water. “Tonight, Buck,” Steve said, his voice still a little gravelly from sleep.

“What’s tonight?”  Bucky replied, trying not to break his rhythm.  His breath had started coming in shallow and his abdominal muscles tightened as he got closer to his release.

Steve flushed and washed his hands.  The water in the shower got hotter momentarily and Bucky’s hissed.  “Steve, I’m in the fuckin’ shower!”

Steve stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower behind him.  He pressed his body against Bucky’s and kissed the side of his neck. Bucky groaned and his cock jumped in his hand.  Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist. His hands traveled down from Bucky’s chest to his abs. “Tonight if she’ll have us; I’m ready.”  He whispered, his breath tickling Bucky’s neck.

Bucky’s hips snapped forward and he moaned, coming over his hand in hot bursts.  He stayed panting for a moment with Steve just pressed against him kissing along the back of his neck and shoulders.  He slowly straightened up and turned to face Steve. “Really? You don’t wanna do a more romantic date for the big night?”

Steve picked up the shampoo and squirted it into his palm.  He massaged it into Bucky’s hair. Bucky made a gurgling hum sound at the back of his throat as Steve worked the shampoo from the roots to the ends of his hair.  “I think casual is better. No pressure. We have fun. If she wants to continue it, we can.”

Bucky laughed.  “Stevie, it’s been you we’ve been waiting on.  You could skip the date and we could just spend the day fucking.”  He paused and sighed. “Let’s do that actually. When she gets here, we just fuck all day.”

Steve laughed and pushes Bucky so he was under the water.  “Come on, man. Let’s do it properly.”

“When do I not?”  Bucky teased. Steve leaned in and they kissed under the cascading water.

* * *

You spent the morning hanging around your house and baking and the afternoon getting ready to go out.   You dressed in shorts and a Mets Jersey that was long enough to almost hide your shorts completely. You packed your backpack and pulled on your sneakers and headed to the subway.

The past two months since you started dating Steve and Bucky had been going really well.  You were head over heels in love with them. You all said the words regularly and freely because you’d already been saying them before the relationship had turned romantic.  It felt good to be loved by these men the way they did.

For a little while, you’d worried you might be some passing interest to them.  Just a side hobby or challenge. Because they had loved each other for so long and gone through so much, both with and for each other that the concept they’d ever love you that way seemed impossible.  It turned out that they didn’t love you the way they loved each other. They loved you the way they loved you.

Hearts are like that.  They don’t just have a finite capacity to love.  You can keep filling it with more and more and it just takes it.  It’s greedy for it.

The dates you had been going on had varied wildly.  From the extremely casual, hanging out at home in your sweats marathoning TV shows together, to dinners at expensive restaurants followed by trips to the theatre and everything in between.  The thing that they had in common was that you loved Steve and Bucky and they loved you and you didn’t doubt it for one second.

Although you did wish Steve would hurry up and be ready for sex.  You really wanted to have sex with them.

Not only that, you wanted to wake up beside them sometimes.  To fall asleep wrapped in their arms. The only times you’d slept over with them was the half a dozen times they’d gone away on a mission and when they’d come back Steve had called saying Bucky wanted to see you.  Those few times you hadn’t shared a bed. They always came to your place. They’d just sat and been with you. Wanting to talk about anything other than the mission. Bucky had been jittery and nervous and he’d clung to Steve and barely even spoken to you.  You’d eventually worked out that after the violence of a mission they both needed some normal. You were that. They needed to be looked at by eyes that hadn’t been tainted by that. Eyes that loved them unconditionally.

They always slept in the spare room though.  In the morning you’d make them breakfast. Usually pancakes.  Depending on how well Bucky was, he sometimes helped. You wondered if that was something he would do when you slept over.  Would he make you breakfast?

The train pulled up to the Avengers Tower station in Midtown and you got out and made your way to the tower.  The door open when you got there and you went straight to the elevator. It opened and FRIDAY greeted you. You didn’t visit the tower often.  You have the feeling that spending time with the other Avengers was the Steve and Bucky equivalent to meeting the parents. So even though you had actually met all of them, including T’Challa who was only ever there once in the bluest of moons.  And Spider-Man who you knew was actually a kid but not who the kid was because he kept his identity a secret from all the Avengers except Tony. You still didn’t spend a lot of time with them, especially not at the tower. It wasn’t time yet.

The elevator took you up to the living quarters and Bucky and Steve were just putting on their jackets to go.  Steve his tan leather, and Bucky his black.

They both looked over to you in unison, the same excited smiles on their faces.   “Really? You’re wearing that?” Bucky said, coming over and kissing you. “We gotta be seen with you, doll.”

“Excuse me?  I’m the one who has to be seen with the two idiots rooting for the LA team.  However… I’ve come bearing gifts.” You shrugged your bag off your shoulder and opened it pulling out two Brooklyn Dodgers ball caps.  You hand one to Bucky and one to Steve.

“Where did you even get these?”  Steve asked as he pulled one on and wrapped his arms around you.

“The internet has everything.”   You smiled, leaning up and kissing him softly.  You reached up and pulled the peak of the cap down. “Couldn’t have anyone thinking you weren’t proper New Yorkers.”

The three of you caught the seven train to Citipark.  It filled with other people headed to see the Mets play the Dodgers.  You took your usual spot in by the pole between the doors. Halfway there Bucky starts digging in your backpack trying to find the chocolate he knew you always packed.

“Bucky, they’re for the game.”  You scolded as he rummaged around.

“I just wanna see what you brought.”  He said.

“It’s not even exciting.  I just made chocolate coated pretzels.”  You whined.

“Oh, you’ve never ‘just’ made anything in your life.  I wanna see what you did.” Bucky protested. He finally found the plastic tub you’d packed them in and pulled it out.  He opens it and looks inside the array of pretzels you’d made to bring along. There was white, milk and dark chocolate.  Some sprinkled in crushed peanuts or pistachios, some drizzled with different types of chocolate or peanut butter, some had brightly colored sprinkles and some had flakes of candied ginger or shards or peppermint.  “I knew it. ‘Just’ chocolate covered pretzels. These ain’t ‘just’ anything, doll.”

He pinched one of the milk chocolate ones dotted with crushed peanut and put the tub back in your bag.  He bit the pretzel in half and moaned before offering the other half to Steve. You pinched Bucky on the side.  “I’ve created a couple of sugar junkies.” You teased.

At the ballpark, you each get hot dogs and beers and went find your seats which are just above the away team’s dugouts.  You were the one that looks most out of place in your Blue and Orange Mets’ Jersey surrounded by a small sea of grey Dodgers’ ones.

You sat between them and took out the chocolate covered pretzels.  As usual, the game was slow and the stadium did all it could to detract from how boring baseball can get.

“I don’t remember it being such a spectacle back when we were kids,”  Steve yelled over the sound of the crowd trying to find Mr. Met in the stands.

“They realized that baseball was boring since then.”  You shouted and both men started tickling you.

About halfway through the game Steve and Bucky both have their arms around your back.  You snuggled into Steve, really just wanting to kiss both of them, but knowing that it would draw too much attention.  You put your hand on Bucky’s knee and he linked his fingers with yours. Steve reached up and ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair.

“Hey fag, how about you keep that to the bedroom.”   A man said behind you. Your head whipped around and glared at the douchey looking guy sitting directly behind you.  “Hey lady, your boyfriend’s cheating on you. He’s got a thing for dick.”

You suddenly saw white-hot rage.  “How fucking dare you? Who do you think you are, you small-minded, limp dicked piece of white trash.”  You seethed. 

You felt Steve and Bucky stand beside you.  “Son, I think you might need to keep those opinions to yourself,”  Steve said.

“Holy shit.  It’s fuckin’ Captain America.  Don’t fucking tell me the so-called symbol for this country is a little sissy boy.”  He nudged the guy next to him. “Can you fuckin’ believe this?” The guy next to him looked nervous and awkward and dropped his gaze.

You lunged forward and Steve caught you.  “I will fucking end you.” You yelled, trying to break free from Steve’s arms.

Bucky shrugged off his jacket and pulled the leather glove he wore from his metal hand.  He flexed his arm and shifted the metal plates before leaning forward over the chairs. “Hey, pal.  I’d suggest you get up and walk right outta this stadium without saying another fuckin’ word. Because Captain Rogers here might be able to hold her back, but he can’t fuckin’ hold me back.”

The guy’s eyes go wide and flicked from Steve easily holding you still struggling against him to Bucky, flexing his metal arm.  He swallows and got up. “Fucking faggots.” He muttered heading to the exit. His friend got up and scrambled after him.

You stopped struggling and flopped back into the chair panting.  “Look at you, ya little slugger. Tryin’ ta protect ya boyfriends’ honor.”  Bucky teased, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and giving your head a kiss.

“How fucking dare he?  You should have let me kick his ass.”  You muttered.

Bucky laughed and looked at Steve.  “She’s just like you, pal.”

Steve chuckled.  “Yeah, she is.”

You got control over your anger letting out a long, slow breath.  “Did you just go Winter Soldier on that guy?”

“No, that was 100%, James Buchanan Barnes,”  Steve said. “How he’s been since the day I met him.”

Bucky laughed.  “Yeah… the Winter Soldier would have killed him without moving out of his seat.”

You leaned against Bucky and he pecked your lips.  “I don’t know why people have to be like that.” You said.

“Small minded people are always loudest.  You just can’t let them trample you down. There are more good people then there are bad.”  Steve said, rubbing your leg.

You all settled back into watching the game and soon the kiss cam started going around the stadium.  It settled on you and Bucky and you smiled up at him. “Kiss Steve.” You smirked.

Bucky chuckled and gave you a brief nod before leaning over you, bunching Steve’s t-shirt in his hand and pulling him into a hard kiss.  Steve startled initially, before wrapping his arms around Bucky and kissing him back. There was a brief murmur that ran through the stadium before it erupted into applause.

When they broke apart Steve looked down at you.  “See, there is more good.”

You end up staying in the stadium until after the fireworks then let the flow of the crowd push you out to the subway again.  They rode it to your place as they usually did. They liked to walk you to your door and make sure you got in safely.

They walked with their arms slung around your shoulders and at your door they let you go.

“I had a great time today.”  You said, leaning up to kiss Steve.  He wrapped his arms around you and before you even knew what’s happening his tongue was in your mouth and his hands were in your hair.  He pushed you back so you pressed against Bucky and his knee moved between yours and pushed against your cunt.

He pulled back looked down at you, his pupils blown out with lust.

“Please come up.”  You said, breathless and needy.

“We would love to.”  Steve replied.

You scrambled in an attempt to get inside.  You couldn’t seem to get your key to fit into the lock.  Steve took them from you and unlocked the door and you almost fell through into the hallway.  Steve caught you, chuckling. “Calm down. This is happening.” He said.

Bucky scooped you up and threw you over his shoulder.  “No, I get it. Hurry up, Steve.” He said, taking the stairs two at a time as you squealed and kicked on his shoulder.

Steve followed after you and unlocked your apartment door and Bucky dropped you to your feet.  “Let’s get this thing off for starters.” He said, his hands frantically moving to the buttons of your jersey.  You grabbed it by the hem and just pulled it off and threw it across the room. Bucky groaned as he looked down at you in your shorts and bra.  He took his ball cap off and ran his hands through his hair before throwing it on the couch. He lifted you onto the kitchen counter and moved between your legs, shrugging off his jacket and pulling his shirt off.  You grabbed his arm pulling him closer to you. He started kissing you frantically, his hands stumbling to unhook your bra.

You ran your hands up his back.  Your fingers traced the scar the ran along where his prosthetic arm met flesh and he shivered.  Steve came up behind him, pressing his body close to Bucky’s. He ran his hands over Bucky’s abs for a moment, kissing his neck.  You pulled back from Bucky.

“What are we…”  You stuttered and shook your head, trying to clear it.  “How are we doing this? What do you want me to do?”

“This is new for us too, doll,”  Bucky said as Steve stepped back and started removing some of his own clothing.  “We won’t do anything too extreme, okay but let’s not overthink it. You don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

You nodded and Steve stepped up to you.  He was shirtless and his pants were low on his hips, showing off the defined shape of his Adonis’ belt.  You found yourself muttering the word ‘fuck’ under your breath as you looked from Steve to Bucky. A little seed of self-doubt creeping in.  They were so attractive and they had each other. What exactly did they want with you?

Steve cupped your jaw and brought his lips to yours.   He kissed you briefly. Just enough to feel those plump lips graze against yours.  “I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too.”

“Shall we go to the bedroom?”  He asked.

You swallowed and nodded.  Bucky lifted you and carried you to your room.  He dropped you to the mattress and unbuttoned your shorts. You kicked your shoes off and as they flew across the room, Bucky pulled your pants down.  “I love you, doll.” He said kneeling on the floor in front of you.

“I love you too, Buck.”  You replied. He kissed you gently then started trailing kisses down your neck and between your breasts.  Steve came and sat beside you. You and he started kissing as Bucky spread your legs a little wider and started nuzzling at your pussy.  Steve’s mouth moved to your breasts and Bucky starts kissing your pussy. Wide open mouth kisses, where his tongue lapped over your folds.  You wrapped one arm around Steve’s shoulder to steady yourself and you pushed your free hand in Bucky’s hair.

A tingled forms where their mouths touched on you.  It spread out to the rest of you swirling through you and coiling in your stomach like a spring.  Bucky sucked on your clit and pushed two of his fingers inside of you. Normally it would take much more for you to reach climax than that but there are too many factors and everything is too raw.  Your whole body clenched and the spring snapped. You came, your fingers tightening on Bucky and Steve.

Bucky lapped you through your orgasm, drinking you up.  “Oh fuck, Stevie.” He hummed. “Taste her on me.”

Steve leaned down and kissed him greedily.  They broke apart and Bucky stood and started stripping off his remaining clothing.   “I love you, Stevie.” He said as he dropped his pants, revealing his cock; long, thick and hard.

Steve stood he took his wallet out of his pocket and pulled out two condoms, handing them to Bucky.  He leaned over and kissed him. “I love you too.” He said quietly, before removing the last of his clothing.

They each climbed onto the bed with you.  One on each side and you lay down between them.  They each started trailing their fingers over your skin.

“How about Steve first?”  Bucky suggested.

“Okay.”  You agreed.  Your body trembled with anticipation and you rolled over onto your side.  Bucky hands you a condom and you tore it open and rolled it onto Steve’s cock.  He rolled on his side and you hooked your leg over his waist. He teased your pussy with the tip of his cock for a moment before slowly pushing in.  You clenched around him and both moaned quietly.

“Feels different, huh?”  Bucky said, pressing himself against your back.  You feel the hard press of his cock against your ass.

“Yeah, Buck.”  Steve moaned. “Oh god, you feel so good.”

You squeezed your pelvic floor making Steve groan again and start kissing you.  You made love like that. The three of you pressed together. There is a lot of kissing. Between you and Steve, Bucky and Steve and you and Bucky.  Steve rolled his hips into you and Bucky played with your nipples and your clit. It wasn’t long before another orgasm hit you. You arched back into Bucky and as your cunt clenched around Steve it brought him over with you.  He groaned and bit down into your shoulder as his cock pulsed inside of you.

He slipped out of you and rolled away to get rid of the condom and you rolled to face Bucky. He pulled you on top of him.  You slid you soaking pussy up and down his cock before taking the second condom and rolling it on.

Slowly you guided him inside of you and started to ride him.  Steve climbed back into the bed and he and Bucky kissed as you bounced frantically on Bucky.  Sweat beaded on your body. Steve licked and kissed Bucky’s neck and chest as Bucky’s hand roamed over you.

“Ah fuck… ya feel so fuckin’ good.  Both of you. Jesus.” He babbled as you rode him.  “I’m not gonna last. Fuck.”

You moved faster and Steve reached behind you teasing Bucky’s balls.  Bucky’s hips snapped up and his fingers pinched your clit. You both came as one.  Your legs shook with it as you felt the pulse of his cock inside of you. You collapsed down onto his chest.

“Fuck that was good.”  You sighed. Bucky slipped from within you and rolled you onto your side.   “I love you both so much.”

“We love you too, sweetheart.  Never doubt it for a second.” Steve said and kissed you softly.

There was a little adjustment as you cleaned up and got ready for bed and each found a way to lie that felt comfortable.  Eventually, you all drifted off wrapped together. You between them, feeling as special and loved as you have ever felt before in your life.

* * *

Steve woke just as the first rays of light peeked through the cracks of your curtain.  He felt warm and content, but the need to pee was strong. He unwound himself from you and Bucky as he sat up he felt you both shift beside him.

When he got back he noticed Bucky sleeping, his arms wrapped around you as you nestle in under his chin.  He remembered when they were kids and Bucky slept over at his place and they shared a mattress on the floor.  How even though back then they never acknowledged how they felt he’d still wake up with Bucky wrapped around him like that. Like it was the way they should be.

Seeing Bucky like that and not in the two positions he was now used to, splayed out or all rolled in a ball, made Steve realize that Bucky had needed one small thing he couldn’t give.  He needed to be the big one.

His heart felt light and full and he looked around your room.  He spied a sketchbook on your desk with some pencils and a wide array of Copic markers.  He sat by the window and drew you both.

It was an hour before you woke.  You slowly opened your eyes as you heard the scratching of pencil on paper and you rolled to see Steve sitting by the window.

“You okay?”  You asked your voice heavy with sleep.

“Yeah, you just looked so beautiful.  I needed to draw.” He said.

“Can I see?”  You asked.

He nodded and brought the pad over.  The way Steve saw you and Bucky, beautiful and innocent and important, is so clear on the paper.  You reached up and ran your fingers over the newly formed scruff on his jaw. “Come back to bed.” You said.

He smiled at you and put the sketchbook down, crawling into the bed beside you.

 


	7. Nightmares

Steve and Bucky sat in the back of the Quinjet side by side.  Everyone was quiet. Bruce sat on the ground huddled up. Tony paced the floor.  Wanda curled up in a ball next to Vision. Natasha and Clint were flying the plane, Steve could hear them talking quietly.

It had been one of those missions.  The ones where innocent people died.  Where their general rule of; arrest them, don’t kill them had been dropped because it became us or them.  Bucky, in particular, had stepped up. It was like he wanted to take the burden off the rest of the group.  Natasha and Clint had taken their fair share of Hydra agents out. Bruce did by accident. But Bucky wouldn’t allow anyone else to.  He saw himself as tainted and he didn’t want to spread that taint to anyone else.

Particularly Steve.  Anytime Steve was in a situation that left him outnumbered and outgunned, Bucky stepped up.

Now, he was paying for it.  He sat staring straight ahead. His jaw set and his eyes empty.  Steve rubbed the small of his back in slow, wide circles.

About a half an hour out of New York, Bucky broke the silence.  “I want to go and see her.”

Steve sighed.  He knew it was coming.  It always happened when they got back from a mission.  Bucky wanted to go see you. This was the first time they’d been on a mission since you’d started actually sharing a bed.  Steve was concerned about how the nightmares he had would affect you when he was having them beside you. When he thrashed and screamed out.  This was such a bad mission that it was quite likely Steve was also going to have trouble sleeping the whole night. It was a lot to put you through.

Steve was also aware that this was important.  That Bucky needed you. Steve needed you too. Not only that, you worried and you needed to see that both of them were okay.  That you also needed to see them at their weakest because it wasn’t fair if you didn’t see all of them. So he nodded. “Of course, Buck.  She’s expecting us to call.”

You hadn’t been sleeping well since Steve and Bucky had left on their mission.  You still went about your usual routine. You went to work. Made chocolates. Did the books.  Spoke to clients. You caught up with some friends and watched a lot of TV. It didn’t help though.  You were worried. This was the longest mission they’d ever gone on. Normally a mission lasted a couple of days tops.  Often it was just a one day, in and out.

You weren’t even sure when to expect them back.  You had no way to contact them. You just had to worry and hope that they’d come back safely and nothing had happened to them.

You were in the kitchen making a series of comfort foods to try and distract you when your phone rang.  You’d personalized the ringtone for Steve so you knew it was him as soon as the music started to play. You snatched it up and pressed it to your ear.

“Steve?”

“Yeah, honey.  We’re home. Little beaten up, but safe and sound.”  His voice sounded weary, but the relief you felt after hearing it washed over you.  It made you feel physically lighter.

“Will you come around?”  You asked. It came out small and pleading.  You knew they were probably exhausted. That Bucky was probably not even the Bucky you were used to.  But you needed to see them. To hold them and know they were okay.

“If that’s okay.  We want to see you.”  Steve replied, sounding almost grateful.

As soon as you hung up the phone you started cooking.  Increasing the comfort food you were making to feed them too.  You made mac and cheese, and corn chowder. You baked brownies and started heating milk and adding grated chocolate to it so they could have hot chocolate.  It was just ready to serve when you heard the turn of the key in the lock and the door opened. You moved the milk off the heat and ran to them, throwing your arms around both their shoulders at once.

They had both obviously cleaned up and been to the med bay.  Steve had butterfly bandages down the left side of his cheek and Bucky had some gauze on his neck.

Bucky flinched as your touch him but he soon melted into you clinging to your back.  You rested your cheek against his head and ran your hand through his hair.

“Come and sit down.”  You said. “I cooked.”  

Both Bucky and Steve let you go and Steve lingered to kiss you.  You closed your eyes, parting your lips enough to let his tongue dip inside.  As you kissed, you ran your hand down his neck. “I was so worried about you.”  You whispered when you broke apart.

“I know.  We’re here now.  Safe with you. Let’s just focus on that.”  He replied. He kissed your forehead and let you go, leading Bucky to the couch.

You plated up the pasta and soup along with cups of hot chocolate and brought them to the coffee table.  “Tell us what you did while we were gone,” Steve said picking up the bowl of soup. Bucky took a drink from the hot chocolate and ended up with cream on his upper lip.  Steve went to wipe it away with his thumb, but Bucky flinched as his hand came close.

“Sorry.”  He said, quietly.  The sound of his voice was so broken it broke your heart.

“Nothing to be sorry for, pal,”  Steve said, wiping the cream away.

Seeming them so broken was hard.  You knew why they came to you though.  Obviously, it was that they loved you, but they also wanted something normal.  So you started to talk, telling them about your week as you all ate. Everything from the really mundane things like how when you went to do everyone’s pay this week your computer crashed halfway through and you couldn’t remember whose you’d done and whose you hadn’t.  To the exciting stuff like how your shop will be featured in O magazine. When they finished eating you brought out the brownies.

Bucky picked one up and looked at it.  It was triple layered. Choc-chip cookie dough at the bottom, Oreos in the middle, brownie at the top.

“They’re called slutty brownies.”  You said, by way of explanation. Bucky actually laughed as he took a bite.  It made your heart skip a beat. Steve smiled, reached over and gave your hand a squeeze.

“They taste real good, doll,”  Bucky said, as he slowly chewed it.

“Of course they do.  I made them.” You teased.

Bucky smiled and moved a little closer to Steve.  Steve put his arm around him and kissed him on the forehead.  You moved to Bucky’s other side and he wrapped you in his arms.  “Thank you for cooking, doll.” He said.

“We’ve been eating a lot of things from packets this week,”  Steve added.

You smiled and tucked yourself against Bucky’s chest, curling your legs up.  “Of course. Cooking is the thing that I do.”

You put on the TV and watched a movie for a while.  Bucky settled against Steve and you curled up against Bucky.  After a little while, you got up and cleaned the kitchen, putting on the dishwasher and packing up leftovers.  When you came back Bucky looked like he was waning. His eyelids were heavy and his head was drooping against Steve.

“Why don’t we go to bed?”  You asked, looking at the two large men currently occupying your small couch.

Bucky shook his head.

“You’re falling asleep right where you are.”  You insisted, taking his hand and pulling him to his feet.

He didn’t resist and the three of you went to get ready for bed.  You’d reached the five-month mark in your relationship. They had keys and a few draws in your bedroom.  There were toothbrushes for them in your toothbrush stand and they each had razors and deodorants along with their favorite body washes.  Your house was basically littered with little reminders that they were now a part of your life.

When you were all ready for bed you took a different position to normal.  Usually, you slept curled up in the middle of them, their arms wrapped around you.  Not tonight. Tonight Bucky needed to be the small one. He curled himself up as small as he could against Steve’s chest.  His head nestled under Steve’s chin, and their legs entwined. You hugged him from behind, pressing your cheek against his back.  He was warm. Both he and Steve ran hotter than most people. You could hear the slow thud-thud of his heartbeat.

Both he and Steve drifted off to sleep quickly.  You however struggled. Steve whimpered and his eyes flicked back and forth under his closed lids.  You ended up reaching over Bucky and stroking your fingers through his hair for a while until he finally stilled completely.  Even then you only slept lightly. So when Bucky started to talk in his sleep you weren’t startled.

“Shh… Bucky.  You’re safe.” You whispered, running your hands through his hair.

Steve’s arms tightened around Bucky reflexively, pulling him in under his chin.  “I don’t do that anymore,” Bucky mumbled. “Please, I knew this would happen.”

You kept whispering to him and touching him.  Steve woke and shook his head. He gave Buck a shake.  “Wake up, pal. You’re having a nightmare.”

Bucky’s eyes snapped open and he arched back with a gasp.  He looked around the room like a wild animal trying to find an escape for as second and Steve held his metal arm and strokes his palm.  “Bucky, you’re here with us. It’s okay.” You said, looking down into his eyes.

He whispered your name and pulled you against him.  You could hear his heart racing in his chest and you stroked your fingers along his collarbone.

“I’m sorry I’m like this.”  He whispered.

“Bucky.  I love you.  You don’t have to be sorry for being weak sometimes. Everyone is allowed that.”  You replied, kissing his jaw.

“You’re not… you don’t deserve to be tainted by me.”  He mumbled.

You sat up and looked down at him.  “Don’t you tell me why I do and don’t deserve.  I have worked really hard to get where I am in my life.  I have it really fucking good and even still, you and Steve are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Bucky pulled you down into a hard kiss.  His tongue pushed into your mouth and his hands slid up under your cami and cupped your breasts.  You straddled him and ran your palms up his chest and around to the back of his neck.

You felt the touch of Steve’s hands on your back.  He stroked down your sides and his hands slipped to Bucky’s abs.

Bucky rolled you so you’re side-by-side facing each other.  You hooked your leg over his waist. He kissed you. Moving from your lips down your jaw and to your neck.

Steve started to kiss up his spine. “We love you, Buck.”  He whispered against Bucky’s skin. “For better or worse, we’re yours.”

Bucky hummed, and his hips rolled against yours.  His erection pushed against your mound and you moaned quietly.  Two sets of hands went to your hips and pulled your panties down.  As Bucky continued you kiss your throat Steve brought his lips to yours.  

“I love you.”  He whispered as he pulled back.  He smiled at you. It was soft and tender and full of love.

You smiled back and reached up and stroked his jaw.  “I love you too.”

Steve went back to kissing along Bucky’s back and Bucky leaned back to him.  You watched as they kissed. There was so much love in it. It’s not a battle to dominate, just a simple expression of love and it made you melt a little.

You took Bucky’s cock in your hand and started to slowly run your palm over it.  Bucky moaned and countered by slipping his fingers between your folds. You each stroked the other, but Bucky became impatient quickly.  His hands went to your hips and he pulled you against him. You felt the head of his cock barely penetrate you. He looked at you for just a moment, eyes darkened, before his mouth was on yours and he thrust hard up into you.  You moaned and your fingers dug into him.

As Bucky started rolling his hips against yours, Steve shifted behind him.  He grabbed the lube and coated his cock before adjusting so that he was lying behind Bucky.  He slowly pushed his cock into Bucky’s ass. Bucky gasped, breaking your kiss and his head fell back on Steve’s shoulder.

“Oh damn.  You both feel so fucking good.”  He moaned, rolling his hips between you both.

You started kissing his throat as he and Steve kissed again.

The three of you moved together.  Not fast or hard, just slowly and rhythmically.  You touched as much of Bucky as you could. Occasionally your hands met Steve’s as he did the same.

Bucky reached his climax first.  He started moaning loudly and his cock throbbed inside of you.

You gasped as the cold steel of his fingers met your hot swollen clit. It only took him swirling them over it a few times when the floodgates opened inside you and your orgasm took hold of your body.  It made your muscles clench and your legs tremble.

The sudden tightening of your walls around his cock made Bucky lose any semblance of control he had.

“Oh fuck.”  He growled. His hips snapped into yours suddenly and he came.  You felt his fingers squeeze on your back, tight enough to mark.

Steve took a little longer.  He continued to thrust into Bucky as Bucky’s cock pulsed inside of you.  Bucky, reached behind him, gripping onto Steve’s hip.

“Fuck, Stevie.  Come for me. I want to feel it.”  He growled.

Steve groaned and buried his head in Bucky’s neck.  His hips rolled twice more and he jerked forward with a moan.

“That’s it.  Oh god.” Bucky moaned.

The three of you stay connected for a little while, just letting yourselves come down.  Breathing each other in.

You all shifted again.  This time Bucky doesn’t curl up quite so small and instead of curling into Steve, he curls around you with Steve acting as a big spoon around him.  “I love you both so much.” He said. “I might not always think I deserve you, but I’m glad you seem to think it.”

Steve chuckled and pressed a kiss into Bucky’s neck.  “What do we always say, pal?”

Bucky laughed and shook his head.  “Yeah, yeah. Til the end of the line.  I remember.”

You smiled and settled back down.  You once again fell to sleep last, but this time you do soundly.  The noise of their deep breathing soothing you off.

Bucky woke while it was still dark out.  The sound of the garbage collectors echoing in from outside.  He lay with you and Steve, just enjoying the warmth and closeness.  Last night after the nightmare he had still slept lightly. He’d actually woken a few more times, but it was more just a sudden snap awake by his mind to escape a nightmare that faded fast.  Not the kind he dreaded that kept him trapped inside until he started screaming.

He gently worked his way out from between you and Steve and watched as you both readjusted, moving closer to each other.  Seeking out contact. He smiled and went into the bathroom. He turned on the water and let it run a little hotter than he normally would.  When he was struggling he liked feeling hot. The cold got to him. It always made him shut down.

All in all, considering he’d been on a mission for a week, wearing the Winter Soldier like an uncomfortable coat, along with his poor sleep last night, he actually didn’t feel so bad this morning.  He had two people who loved him despite how much of a mess he was. In fact, they seemed to love him extra hard when he needed it most. He’d been through shit. More shit than most people could ever even comprehend.  But he now had two extra sets of shoulders to help him carry it. It didn’t feel like it was going to crush him anymore.

As the water started to cool off he got out and toweled himself off.  He grabbed the robe off the back of the door and wraps himself in it and went out to the kitchen.  Pancakes this morning. You and Steve would need coffee and pancakes.


	8. Acceptance

Steve sat in the middle of several piles of clothing looking lost.  He’d started to try and clear out some drawers for you to use, so he’d taken his pajamas out of one drawer.  He didn’t want to mix them with Bucky’s though, so he thought he’d consolidate his t-shirts into one drawer. They didn’t all fit, and he’d taken them all out and thought he’d put some on hangers.  In the meantime to free up a second drawer, he’d thought he’d put his socks and underwear all into one drawer. They didn’t all fit either, so he was now methodically going through each item of clothing and deciding if it might be something that is worn out enough to get rid of.

Bucky came in and looked at the chaos on the floor and shook his head.  “Is now the best time to be doing that, pal? She’ll be off work in less than an hour.”

Steve looked up at Bucky feeling completely helpless all of a sudden.  “I just wanted to give her some drawers. She made room for us at her place.”

Bucky laughed and ran his hands through his hair.  “I don’t know that just throwing all your things on the ground is the best way to make some space for her.”   He crouched down and ran his hands down Steve’s arms. “This is the first time she’s staying over. I’m sure she isn’t going to just bring a whole bunch of stuff to keep here.  How about we just go buy a new set of drawers for her? There’s enough room in here for another set.”

Steve groaned and ran his hands down his face.  “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Not as smart as you’d have people believe,”  Bucky teased. He leaned forward and kissed Steve softly on the lips.  When he pulled away he started everything back in its rightful place. “Why are you making such a big deal about this anyway?  We sleep at her place all the time. She’s met everyone. What are you worried about?”

Steve threw his socks back into the drawer.  “I don’t know.” He said with a sigh. “I feel like when we go stay with her it’s like we’re getting a holiday from our lives.  Her letting us into her life is like vacation time where we can be young and carefree and just Steve and Bucky how we used to be.  Now we’re going to bring her into this… mess. What if she can’t handle Captain America and the Winter Soldier? What if it’s too much and she leaves?”

Bucky grabbed Steve by the wrist and spun him to face him, pulling Steve against him and hugging him tightly.  “That’s kind of how I feel all the time. For me, it’s not a vacation going to her. It’s just me dragging along my shit and dumping it on her door.  But she picks it up every time. She’s stronger than you give her credit for. Besides… if we’re going to do this, we gotta go all in.”

Steve smiled and rested his cheek on Bucky’s shoulder for a moment, his heart feeling just that little bit heavier for Bucky’s confession.   He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “Yeah, you’re right. I do know that.”

Bucky smiled and carded his hand through Steve’s hair before standing back and looking at him.  “I think we’re keeping her, pal. I think at this point, we don’t even have a choice.” 

* * *

You stepped out of your office and did one final sweep of the kitchen before heading into the shop.  You had your backpack slung over one shoulder and a small box tucked under your arm. You swept around the shop straightening up the shelves one last time and then wished the girls who were working the evening shift a goodnight and headed outside.

The tower loomed over you.  The lights had started gradually going out as the business side of the building and now only about half of them were still lit.  The entire top ten floors were all dark except for a random lab or office where someone was working late. The floors that were more consistently lit were the residential floors.  The big communal kitchen and lounge area the Avengers used. The apartments that housed the agents who had signed up to work for them after the fall of SHIELD. The floors that served as dorm rooms for the new recruits that lived on site.

You stepped up to the front doors.  They opened silently letting you into the lobby where people were mostly now leaving for the day.  A few groups loitered talking to each other, while the elevators seemed to let out a steady supply of people who didn’t even look twice at you as you passed them.  You stepped into an empty elevator and the doors closed. As usual, it started traveling up without you having to do anything. FRIDAY knew you and knew where you needed to be.

When it arrived on the common floor you stepped out to see Clint and Natasha sitting watching television together.  Clint was perched on the back of the couch while Natasha was sprawled out on her stomach below him. Steve was setting the dining table rather elaborately.  There was a light blue tablecloth laid out and it was decorated with tea lights. He was laying out simple white plates with gold edging and different sized wine glasses.  Bucky and Wanda were both in the kitchen. They each wore aprons and their hair pulled back. The smell of spiced meats and vegetables cooking wafted through the room. The way Wanda and Bucky moved around each other was like watching an elaborate dance.  They switched places and passed things around so effortlessly they look like they’d been doing it for years.

Steve looked up when you came in.  A broad smile broke out on his face.  “Hey, sweetheart.” He said, putting the last dish in place and approaching you.  He leaned down and kissed you while simultaneously taking your backpack from you. For a brief moment, there was nothing else in that room except Steve and you kissing, your lips barely parted, caressing against each other.  “How was work?”

“It was good.  Someone bought that castle in the window.  Now I need to think of a new display. You wanna help?”  You replied.

“I’d love to.”  He said, smiling at you.  His eyes looked soft and full of such love you couldn’t help but steal another kiss.

You went into the kitchen and Wanda stopped and kissed your cheek.

“Hey, Doll.  Don’t get in the way.  Wanda and I are a well-oiled machine.”  Bucky said, beaming at you and giving you a soft kiss.  You could tell he’s been sampling the food. He tasted of parsley, dill, and pork.

“That’s only because I’m reading your mind,”  Wanda said as she breezed past you both.

You laughed and gave Bucky a squeeze around the middle before getting out of both of their ways.  “This is dessert.” You said putting the box on the edge of the kitchen counter. Bucky peeked into the box and frowned.  “Store bought? I thought you’d have made something.”

You laughed and swatted at his hand.  “Trust me, Buck. After you try those you’ll never want anything I made ever again.”

Steve came over and took your hand in his.  “Let’s go out your stuff in our bedroom.”

Clint and Natasha raised their hands in greeting as you passed, making an unintelligible grunting sound.   You laughed and gave them a wave back before following Steve downstairs to the room he shared with Bucky.

“I tried to clear a couple of drawers for you, but I just ended up with clothes everywhere,”  Steve explained as you threw your backpack onto the armchair in the corner.

You approached him and ran your palms up over his abs.  “Is me staying here going to become a regular occurrence?”

His arms encircled your waist and he looked down at you. You couldn’t tell if he was excited or scared.  “I hope so. That’s up to you. I’m just worried that being this close to what we do might be too much for you to handle.”  He said. “Most of the things I worry about in this relationship revolve around you getting hurt.”

You reached up and caressed his jaw and started placing slow soft kisses just where the neckline of his t-shirt ended.  “I’m a big girl, Steve.” You said, each word spaced out by a kiss. “I have thought about all these things too. You have enough to worry about without my not being able to handle myself being on the list.”

Steve’s hands slid down to your ass. His eyes fell closed a low rumble formed in his chest.  You hummed and kissed a little higher.

“I - uh…”  Steve murmured.  “We - we put in a work order for a new chest of drawers.”

“Thank you.”  You whispered and captured his lips with yours.  He pulled you flush up against him, so you were standing on your tiptoes.  His tongue danced with yours as you pushed your hands up into his hair and tugged on it.

You pulled back tugging on his bottom lip with your teeth.  “We should go up to dinner.” You said.

Steve laughed and pressed his forehead against yours.  “You’re a tease.”

“I know.”  You smirked.

He let you go and you kissed him once more before you both headed back upstairs.  Tony, Bruce, and Pepper were now at the dining table. Tony pouring red wine into glasses for himself and Pepper while Bruce seemed to be drinking some sort of green smoothie.

Vision was carrying plates and terrines filled with different dishes to the table as Bucky and Wanda put the finishing touches on things.

“Hello, darling.  It’s nice that they’ve finally let you near us again.”  Tony said, kissing your cheek as soon as you were in reach of him.  “Wine?”

“Yes, please.”  You said, settling into a chair and passing a glass to him.

“Who are we missing?”  Steve asked, glancing around the room.  “FRIDAY, can you tell Sam and James that dinner is ready.”

“Right away, Captain Rogers.”  The voice of the building AI responded.

“Air Force,”  Tony said, with a roll of his eyes.  As if the words Air Force give some indication why they’d be late at all.

The last of the food was laid out and all the stragglers finally make it to the table.  Steve and Bucky sat on either side of you as Sam and Rhodey came into the room together.  “Sorry, we’re late,” Rhodey said.

“We were practicing maneuvers and lost track of the time,”  Sam added.

“Air Force,”  Tony said to you.  You chuckled.

“Eat up everyone,”  Bucky said and began serving himself.

“What have you made?”  You asked as you put some cabbage rolls on your plate.

“I grew up in Sokovia and James lived in Romania for a few years.  The traditional food is quite similar. So sometimes we cook for everyone.”  Wanda explained. “It’s a little bit of a mix of the two.”

“Here try this,”  Bucky said, labeling some soup into a bowl for you.  “It’s ciorbă de ardei umpluți. There was this old lady in my building who made it for me when I helped her do things like change light bulbs or fix her pipes.”  He spoke animatedly and looks at you a little like an excitable puppy. Your opinion on it mattered to him.

You took a spoonful, making sure to get some of the stuffed pepper too.  It was smokey and peppery and a little sour. It made you feel warm and happy.  That true definition of comfort food. Bucky watched you the whole time. “It’s so good, Buck.”  You said, through a mouthful. He smiled and kissed your temple before he started eating too.

“So I have a question,”  Tony said once everyone was eating and just chatting in groups.  “How does that all work.” He gestured between Steve, Bucky and you.

“Tony!”  Pepper yelped, sounding mortified.

“What?”  Tony said, holding his hand to his heart.  “We were all thinking it.”

Pepper slapped his arm.  “You can’t just do that.”  She cried and turned to the three of you.  “I am so sorry. Just ignore him.”

You waved her off as Bucky sat holding back laughter beside you.

“It’s fine.  It’s an unusual situation.  I don’t know what bit you don’t understand though.  Haven’t you bragged yourself about being with two women?”  Steve asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

“Well yeah sure.  But I didn’t plan on marrying them.”  Tony retorted.

Pepper covered her face with her hands and shook her head.  “Please stop talking.” She muttered under her breath.

“So it’s love that you don’t understand?”  You asked.

“No… I understand lo- … wait how did this become about me?”  Tony said, flustered.

The table erupted into laughter and Bucky slung his arm around the back of your chair and kissed you on the cheek.

After dinner, everyone helped clear the table and put away leftovers.  You started making hot drinks for everyone. Coffee for Tony, Rhodey, Steve, Clint, and Sam.  Tea for Pepper and Bruce. Everyone else wanted hot chocolate. You put the cups on the coffee table where everyone was now sitting, either on the couch or recliners or just on the floor.  You grabbed the box you brought with you and took out the long rectangle packets containing chocolate coated cookies.

“Okay, so these are Tim Tams.”  You explained opening each packet and sliding out the plastic trays containing the cookies.  “They’re from Australia. Don’t eat them yet. I have to show you how.” You added offering the packet to everyone in the room.

“Oh, these are on my list,”  Steve said, pulling his notebook from his pocket and scratching something off.

When everyone had one you held a cookie up.  “You need to bite off diagonally opposite corners like this.”  You said and bit of a small corner from each side just so the cream filling was visible.  Everyone mimicked you and you picked up your cup. “Okay, so now, use your cookie as a straw.  When you feel it get soft you jam it in your mouth. That’s called a Tim Tam Slam.” You said and demonstrated.  You sucked your hot chocolate up through the cookie and the sweet, warm liquid filled your mouth. When the cookie softened you shoved it into your mouth and made an involuntary moan as the cookie disintegrated filling your taste buds with warm, sugar, chocolate and cream.

The others mimicked you and the room was suddenly filled with different moans and other sounds of enjoyment.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth,”  Rhodey said, his mouth still full. Tony, Clint, and Sam burst out laughing, each covering their mouths trying not to spit the cookie out.

“I think this is what it tastes like to have an orgasm,”  Wanda said.

“I don’t understand, you can taste what orgasms are like?”  Vision asked and Natasha completely lost it laughing, doubling up on the floor and holding her sides.

Bucky swallowed what was in his mouth and grabbed another one.  “You were right, doll.” He said. “No offense or anything but these are amazing.  I thought the things you made were the best things I’d ever tasted.”

“She makes you things too?”  Tony asked, looking affronted.

“Yes. Of course, I do.”  You said.

“Oh god, Stark.   She made us chocolate coated bacon once.  And these brownies that had cookie dough and Oreos.”  Bucky said and let his head fall back, making a face like he was drooling.

Wanda leaned over the coffee table and put her hand on yours.  “Can you please move in with us?” She said.

The room erupted in laughter again.  Tony grabbed the packet of Tim Tams from the table.  “These are from Australia? Who makes them?” He said, examining the packaging.  “Alright. FRIDAY. We’re buying Arnotts. Whoever the hell they are. And we’re importing these.”

“Right away, Mr. Stark,”  FRIDAY replied.

“Tony!”  Pepper yelped.  She took a bite from one of the cookies.  “No, you’re right. That’s a phenomenal idea.”

“Oh good.  They have all these varieties I still haven’t been able to source.”  You said and took a drink of your hot chocolate.

The night moved on.  You’ve never spent such a long period of time just hanging out with these people.  After a while, you realized what was actually happening here. Steve and Bucky have done the closest thing they could do to bringing you home to meet their parents.  Yes, you had met all the Avengers before. No, they weren’t actually their parents. But these people were their family and Steve and Bucky had wanted you to not only meet them but be accepted by them.  Every time you laughed or made one of them laugh, you saw a glance between Bucky and Steve. By the time people started drifting off to their own rooms you just felt happy and full of love for them.

You started to yawn and Steve put his hand on your shoulder and kissed the side of your neck.  “Time for bed?” He whispered, near your ear. His voice a deep, warm rumble.

You nodded and got up.  Steve and Bucky followed you and you wished Sam, Clint, and Natasha who are the only people still up a good night.  You pounced on Bucky’s back and he laughed, giving you a piggyback to their room.

By the time the door closed behind you, you were already kissing his neck.  Steve came up behind you and slid his hands up your back. You let yourself slip down onto your feet, still kissing Bucky’s throat.   He turned to face you and he and Steve kissed as you did your best to mark Bucky.

Bucky made a sound somewhere between a growl and a moan.  He started toying with the hem of your shirt and when you pushed your hands up under his, he pulled yours off over your head.

Bucky and Steve both started peppering kisses along your neck and collarbone.  “I had a really good time tonight.” You hummed. “They’re all really great, aren’t they?”

Steve hummed against your skin and unhooks your bra.  Bucky pushed it down your arms onto the floor. “I’m glad you had a good time.  We want you to get along.” Steve said.

You all took a few steps closer to the bed.  Your hands went up under Bucky’s shirt and Steve helped you pull it up over his head.   “I love you both so much, you know?” You said, softly, turning your head back to Steve.  Steve kissed you deeply, his tongue grazing over your bottom lip.

“Yeah, we know, doll,”  Bucky said.

You took another step towards the bed, slipping out of your shoes.  Bucky grabbed the hem of Steve’s shirt and pulled it over his head, breaking his kiss with you. Steve’s hands moved to your jeans and he unfastened them.  “I think I can speak for both of us when I say the feeling is mutual,” Steve said.

You started unfastening Bucky’s pants as Steve pushed yours too the ground.  “We love you so much.” Bucky hummed and lifted you off the floor kissing you hard before placing you on the end of the bed.

You watched as they finishing undressing each other.  They kissed and ran their hands over each other’s bodies.  When they were naked, they turn to you. Your eyes ran up and down their forms.  Toned and well muscled and their cocks hard. Beads of precome pooling on the heads.  They each move to you and grabbed the waistband of your panties and pull them off. Before moving up on the bed on either side of you.

You started kissing.  Moving from one to the other.  When their lips weren’t on yours, you kissed one or the other’s collarbone and neck.  Your hands went to their cocks. You rolled your palms over the heads and slowly started pumping their shafts.  Steve’s hand went to your pussy, and he circled your clit and dipped two fingers inside of you. Bucky’s hands just roamed, they pinched your nipples then moved and do the same to Steve.

Soon your cunt ached for them, your wet running down Steve’s fingers.  “Oh fuck. I need you.” You moaned.

They gave each other a look.  It was there who was going where look and you shook your head and brought your hands to their cheeks so they both looked at you.  “Both of you. At the same time.”

Steve looked startled and Bucky quirked an eyebrow at you.  “Really? You sure? We’ve never done that before, darlin’.”  Bucky asked.

You nodded and pushed him onto his back and straddle his waist.  He pulled you down into a kiss and you slide against his cock. Slicking it with your fluids.  He took his cock in his hand and as you slide down, he guided it deep inside of you. You rolled your hips against him still kissing him desperately.  Your hands held onto his shoulders as his gripped your hips.

Steve came up behind you and starts kissing a trail up your spine.  He reached into the side table pulling out a bottle of lube and slicked his cock.  You felt the press of his teeth on your shoulder and a moment later the head of his cock teased at your entrance.

“You ready, sweetheart?”  He whispered.

“Mmm… yes… please, Steve.”  You hummed.

Steve very slowly pushes into you.  There was a pinch as your cunt stretched to accommodate both of these already quite large men.  You all moaned. Steve’s hand went to Bucky’s hair and they kissed over your shoulder.

Steve started to thrust slowly and Bucky a little faster.  All you could do is just hold on. Your lips never left skin.  Either nipping and sucking at Bucky’s throat, kissing him deeply or leaning back to kiss Steve.  They kissed each other too. Heat radiated between the three of you, and soon you were all sweating and panting.  The sounds of your moans filled the room. Pressure built in your core and your skin prickled and felt slightly fuzzy.  Like you were not all there. Steve’s hand slid down between you and Bucky. His fingers wrapping around Bucky’s shaft and his thumb rolling over your clit.

Both you and Bucky jerked suddenly and you came almost simultaneously.  The way Bucky’s cock pulsed as he emptied and your cunt squeezed around the two of them set Steve off too and he came moments later, his teeth pressed into your shoulder.

You all collapsed down in a pile of tangled limbs.  You felt sleepy and high from your endorphin rush and you just closed your eyes and let sleep take you.  At some point, Steve got up and came back with a washcloth to clean you up, and they both pressed kisses on your forehead and whispered ‘goodnight’ and ‘I love you’ to you and each other.  Mostly you just felt aware of how happy and loved you felt as you drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Steve woke first the next day.  He untangled himself from both of you and got up, watching as you and Bucky moved closer together now that somebody’s heat had been lost.  He took a shower and brushed his teeth. Making sure to floss carefully. He came back out and dressed for the day before coming over and kissing both you and Bucky gently.

“Wake up, sleepy heads.  You’ve got work.” He whispered.

You grumbled and pulled the quilt up over your head, while Bucky slowly pried his eyes open.  “I’ll get her up,” Bucky said, his voice still gravelly from sleep.

Steve chuckled. “I’ll go get breakfast started.”

He headed up to the kitchen to find Tony making coffee while Pepper sat eating a bowl of fresh fruit and yogurt.

“Morning, Cap,”  Tony said, in greeting.  “You want coffee?”

“Thanks,”  Steve replied going to the fridge and pulling out bacon and eggs.

“We really like your girl,”  Tony said as he adjusted the amount of coffee he had in the French press.

“Yes.  She’s just wonderful.”  Pepper agreed.

“Thank you.  Yeah, I think we’ll keep her.”  Steve said, smiling at them.

“If you ever want to ask her to move in.  You have our blessing.” Tony added.

Steve faltered and looked at his two friends.  “I … uh… we hadn’t spoken about it.” He said.

Tony shrugged and patted Steve on the shoulder.  “Hey. When you’re ready. Just know. It’s fine.  Even if that means you do end up filling the place with tiny humans.”

“Especially if it means that,”  Pepper added.

Steve softened and put his hand on Tony’s arm.  “Thank you. That means a lot.”

Tony smiled.  “Alright, enough sappy stuff.  It’s too early and I haven’t had my coffee.”  He went back to making the coffee.

Steve started frying the bacon unable to force the smile from his face.  The thought of what the future might actually hold for him suddenly feeling a lot lighter.


	9. The Feeling of Family

Bucky stood in front of the mirror fixing his tie.  This was by far the most stressed he had ever felt in regards to seeing you.  He and Steve had been in a relationship with you for eight months now. Today was the day he and Steve were going to meet your parents.  He was terrified. There was no scenario he could imagine that this was going to go well. How could any decent parent approve of their daughter dating two men, one of whom was a known assassin?  His stomach was in knots and he couldn't seem to get his hands to work in tandem. He couldn't get the Windsor knot he was attempting to tie to work and the more he tried to fix it the worse it got.  His cybernetic fingers suddenly gripped the material tearing the tie in two.

“Fuck!”  He cursed.  His rage got the better of him for one brief moment and he punched the mirror. It cracked in a spiderweb pattern around his fist and pieces spilled from the frame embedding themselves in the carpet.

Steve appeared in the doorway, drawn to the sound of breaking glass.  “Buck?” He said softly, testing the tension in the air.

Bucky looked over at Steve feeling helpless like he did when he was first learning to share his body with the Soldier after he’d come out of cryo.

“What happened?”  Steve asked, approaching Bucky slowly.

When he was within reach Bucky fell into him, collapsing against Steve’s chest.  Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky, holding onto him tightly. “What’s wrong?” He whispered.

“They’re going to hate me.  How could they not hate me?”  Bucky murmured, against Steve’s chest.  “Not even all of me is human.”

Steve pressed his lips against Bucky’s head.  “Bucky, you’re the best guy I know. I know going in, they’re going to have their doubts.  But give them a chance to know you. You know she’s prepared them. They want to know us.”

Bucky doesn’t say anything for a moment, he just focused on his breathing and the slow thud-thud of Steve’s heartbeat.  “What if they don’t?”

Steve laughed and gave Bucky a shove.  “Wouldn’t be the first guy who’s in-laws hated him.”  He joked.

Bucky let out a soft laugh and straightened out.  “I better clean up this mess,” Bucky said, looking at the broken glass littering the floor.

Bucky and Steve were suddenly interrupted by the sound of FRIDAY alerting them to your arrival in the building.

“Can you bring her up and just tell her we’ll be a minute?”  Steve said.

“Of course, Captain Rogers,”  FRIDAY replied.

“And can you get this mess seen to?”  Steve added.

“Right away, Sir.”

Steve turned and looked at Bucky.  “Alright, let’s get you a new tie.”

You left the elevator and entered the Avenger’s common room.  Wanda was sitting reading on the couch, while Sam sat at the table with a pile of papers filling them out with a scowl on his face.  They both looked over at you as you entered.

“Big day, huh?”  Sam said, by way of greeting.

You smiled and took a seat at the table opposite Sam.  “Yeah. I mean, I am sure they’re gonna be fine. My parents have always just supported me and I’m not just springing it on them.  They know and so far so good. But of course, there’s always that dreaded ‘what if they just don’t get along’?”

“I’m sure it will be fine.  Most people like them. Unless your parents are supervillains.”  Wanda said.

Sam laughed.  “Well, Cap anyway.”

“Sam!”  You scolded and he laughed even harder.  It was infectious. Soon all three of you were laughing and you weren’t even sure why.

Steve and Bucky emerged from the stairs.  Both were wearing suits. Steve’s was a light grey, three-piece he had paired with a white shirt and a black tie.   Bucky was in black. The suit was two piece. Everything from including the shirt and tie was black.

You got up and met them in the middle of the living room.  “Oh my god. Look at you both!” You said, kissing them each on the cheek.  “You know, we’re meeting my parents, not going to win a modeling contract?”

“You can talk,”  Bucky said, his hand sliding up your side.

Steve chuckled.  “You do look beautiful, sweetheart.  Shall we?”

You nodded and the three of you went back outside to the car that was waiting for you.  On the drive out to Rockford County, Bucky started to tense up and shift nervously in his seat.  You reached over and took his hand. “You worried?”

Bucky nodded his head so subtly that you almost didn’t catch it.  “People don’t usually like me right away.”

You leaned into him and kissed the back of his hand.  “I did.”

Bucky didn’t say anything, and you saw his brow furrow.

“Bucky.  My parents raised me and I did.  They’re good people. They know about us.  They know about you. They just want me to be happy and they know that you and Steve make me happy.  Please trust me.” You said firmly.

“It’s just…”  Bucky started, but you cut him off.

“James. I know what you’re feeling.  But I need you to trust that I wouldn’t do this to you if I wasn’t sure.”

His hands tightened around yours but he didn’t fully relax for the entire drive.

You arrived at the two-story Colonial you grew up in and made your way up the front steps.  Your parents opened the door even before you made it to the porch.

“There’s our girl!”  Your father bellowed, dragging you into a bear hug.

“Hello, daddy.”  You squeaked from within the warm confines of your father’s arms.

“Now let’s meet the men who are making my baby girl so happy.”  He said as he released you.

“Dad, mom.  This is Captain Steven Rogers and Sergeant James Barnes.”  You said by way of introduction.

“Steve, please,”  Steve said, shaking your father’s hand.  He went to shake your mother’s too but she pulled him into a tight hug.

“James.”  Your father said, offering his hand to Bucky.  Bucky shook it but didn’t say anything.

You all went inside and introductions were made for the rest of your family.  Your older brother and his wife and their twin sons. Your younger sister and her girlfriend.  Steve was immediately set upon by the twins. They were beyond excited that you brought Captain America to their grandparents’ house.

The conversation was loud and animated while dinner was being prepared.  You helped your father to prepare everything while your mother set the table with your sister.  Bucky stayed quiet during all of it. Steve remained near him, even as he was being used as a climbing tree by two three-year-olds and he held a conversation with your brother and sister-in-law.

“James is quiet.”  Your father said to you as he swept the tomatoes you’d been cutting into the salad bowl.

“He also has super hearing.”  You said, smiling at Bucky. Bucky looked up at you and gave you a half smile.  “He’s a little stressed. Sometimes his worst enemy is nazis. Sometimes it’s his own head.”

Your dad laughed gently.  “I guess meeting the parents is stressful for anyone.”  He looked over to Bucky, when he spoke next he didn’t raise his voice at all.  He just spoke as if he was talking just to you. “There’s nothing to worry about, son.  We trust her and she says you’re good people.”

Both Bucky and Steve looked over and the warmest smile spreads across Steve’s face.  He put his arm around Bucky’s shoulder and kissed him on the cheek.

Bucky slowly started to relax as the night went on.  Soon the twins had started climbing on him too. They became very fascinated by his cybernetic arm.  Bucky appeared embarrassed, to begin with, but after not long he was using it to lift them both above his head and showing them both how all the parts move.

At dinner, Bucky sat between you and Steve and was still quiet, though he did engage when spoken to directly.  Things were relaxed though. Conversation flowed easily. Everyone was getting along. It felt good. Like family.

Toward the end of dinner, when the kids had been put to bed, your family started asking you and the boys about your relationship.  Nothing too intrusive. Where did you meet? Who asked who out? They were even interested in how Bucky and Steve ended up as a couple.

You went to the kitchen with Steve and the two of you assembled the dessert you have planned for tonight.  You placed dense brownies with hazelnuts onto a plate with scoops of homemade vanilla bean ice cream on top.  You placed thin chocolate domes over each stack. Dark for Steve and your sister. White for your sister’s girlfriend and your dad.  Milk for everyone else. While Steve finished the plating you heated cream on the stove and added grated chocolate. Steve took each plate out and placed them on the table and you came in with a tray of small jugs of the hot chocolate sauce.

“When I count to three everyone pour your sauce onto the ball.”  You instructed. You counted to three and everyone poured. The chocolate balls melted under the heat of the cream, collapsing over the ice cream and brownie inside and forming a rich chocolate sauce around them.  Everyone oohed and ahhed and your mother and brother both applauded.

“That was stunning, darling.”  Your mother said. The sound in the room change as everyone took a bite.  Everyone letting out their own moan of pleasure. Bucky looked at you beaming.

“So I guess it would be remiss of me to ask what direction the three of you are planning on taking?  Should we expect you boys at Christmas?” Your mother asked.

You aren’t really sure what to say.  You wanted the answer to be yes. That you’ll all live long and happy lives together.  But you didn’t want to speak for them.

It was Bucky who spoke up.  “Stevie and I have known each other since we were kids.  Almost a hundred years now. I can’t imagine a life where it isn’t him and me.  And now I can’t imagine one without your daughter either. I love her so much. You have done such an amazing job raising her.  She is kind, loving, brave, inspiring, sweet. Sometimes she’s the only person I want to see. So yeah… I hope we’ll be here for a lot of Christmases.”

You felt your heart skip a beat and you cupped Bucky’s jaw and kissed him.  You kissed him like he was the only one in the room. Like it was the first time you had seen him in a month.  Like he was your oxygen and without him, you would cease to be. You put all your love and desire into that kiss and when you pulled away you were breathless. You leaned your forehead against his your hands still cradling his jaw.  “I love you so much.” You whispered.

A soft smile spread across Bucky’s lips.  The warmth of it reaching his blue/grey eyes.  “I love you too, doll.”

Your dad cleared his throat.  “I don’t remember raising you to be such a sap.”  He said.

You pulled away from Bucky and both of you laughed.  Bucky scratched the back of his head and looked sheepish.  “What he said. I’m in it for the long haul.” You said.

“I guess we better get a bigger dining setting.”  Your father joked.

The three of you only stayed for another hour, helping to clean up and saying goodbye before heading back to Manhattan.  You decided to sleep over at the tower. You’d been doing it more and more often later. Not every day. They still came to your apartment, and you did still spend some night alone.  Though that was getting rarer and rarer.

Bucky and Steve stripped off their clothes and climbed into bed as you showered.  “Her family are kind of great aren’t they?” Steve said.

“Yeah.  I really liked them.”  Bucky agreed, laying down and pulling the covers up over him.

“Did you mean what you said?  About not being able to see a life without the two of us?”  Steve asked, climbing in beside Bucky and draping his arm around Bucky’s waist.

Bucky smiled and brushed his hair out of his eyes.  “Yeah. I did. I love you both more than I thought I had in me anymore.”

Steve cupped Bucky’s jaw and kissed him softly.  Their lips just tenderly caressing each other’s. When they broke apart Steve smiles.  “We should ask her to move in.” He said.

Bucky’s eyes lit up.  “Really? You ready for that?”

“Yeah, Buck.  What do you think?  Shall we maybe take her out somewhere nice and ask her?”  Steve said.

Bucky nodded.  They heard the water switch off in the bathroom and they both glanced at the bathroom door and then looked back to each other.  “Sounds good to me. Damn. This is happening, isn’t it? We’re going to do this. We’re going to be a family.”

“Yeah.  We’re keeping her.” Steve agreed.

You stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel.  Bucky and Steve both looked up at you and smiled wickedly.  “Hello, boys.” You purred and dropped your towel to the ground.


	10. Moving In

“So this is the living room.  I’ve already installed an entertainment system.”  Tony said, clicking his fingers. A massive flat screen TV emerged from behind the wall filling up most of the empty space.  Steve shook his head but didn’t say anything. This was Tony’s way of showing how fully he endorsed the idea of you moving into the tower.  Up until now except for Tony the others had all had rooms with private bathrooms that all joined onto a communal living area and kitchen. Since Steve had brought up wanting to ask you to move in, Tony suddenly had the idea that everyone should get their own apartment.  He’d emptied 4 floors and had them renovated into self-contained apartments. One apartment for each of the Avengers who currently resided in the tower, and a few spare for any potential new recruits.

He had plans to remodel the common area too.  He wanted to make it more just somewhere to go to spend time together rather than just get under each other’s feet.  For now, though there were the apartments to finish. Specifically Bucky and Steve’s new apartment.

“Through here is the kitchen,”  Tony said, leading them through an archway.  The kitchen was large with a floating island that already had a hanging rack above it with various pots and pans hanging above it.  There are two ovens and a set of six gas burners. “It’s fully equipped and everything is graded for catering in case someone wants to experiment with things and I don’t know… invite someone down to test things out on.”  Tony explained as he moved through the kitchen and down the hallway. “There are four bedrooms…”

“Tony?  Four? Really?”  Steve said, slightly exasperated.

“Well you know, maybe you need a home office.  Maybe there’s some other reason to have extra rooms.”  He turned back and looked at Bucky and Steve. “If you need more than four there’s the potential to move out into the apartment next door too.  It’s empty for now.”

Bucky started silently laughing as he glanced into one of the spare bedrooms.

“How many kids do you think we’re going to have, Tony?”  Steve asked.

“I don’t know how these things work,”  Tony smirked, which makes Bucky double over with laughter.  “There are three full bathrooms. The main one here.” Tony said, opening a door.  The bathroom was enormous. It’s decorated in marble and split into three rooms. One for the toilet, one for the vanity that was long and had three basins that sat on top of the bench like bowls.  The last room was for the shower and bath. There was an entire wall allocated to the shower that had several different kinds of shower head, including a waterfall one. By the floor to ceiling windows that looked out over Midtown taking in views of the Empire State and Chrysler Buildings was a large oval spa that would comfortably fit three people, even when two of them were large super soldiers.

“Holy shit!”  Bucky hissed, looking around the room.

“This is too much, Tony,”   Steve said, shaking his head.

Tony just laughed.   “You gotta have something to entice her over here.  Come on, the most important room left.”

Tony lead them down to the bedroom.  He had mostly left it unfurnished. However, he’s had a custom bed made.  It was round and the base had drawers all around the outside. It sat in the middle of the room, taking up a large section of floor space and built to fit all three of you with ease.  In fact, it could easily fit more than just the three of you.

“There’s a walk-in through that door,”  Tony said, pointing to a door on the other side of the room.  “And another bathroom through there.” He added, pointing to a door to the right.

Bucky disappeared through the closet door and Steve heard a muffled ‘what the fuck?’  Steve looked at Tony and smiled. “Thank you, Tony. For everything.” He said. Tony waved his hand like he was trying to shoo the affection away but Steve approached him and pulled him into a hug.

Tony resisted at first but soon submitted, patting Steve on the back.  “Don’t get all emotional on me now, Cap. Just… we…” He trailed off.

Steve let Tony go, and clapped him on the shoulder.  “She’ll love it.” He said.

The removalists came to your house early in the morning while you were still frantically trying to pack.  Your heart was racing and you couldn’t quite stop and focus on any one thing for long enough to get it done.  There was always something else that seems more important. Luckily they were professionals so where you were failing they were just methodically doing their job and packing everything.

Bucky and Steve had asked you to move in over dinner.  It had been an overly extravagant and romantic event. They had booked a cabin upstate and taken you there for a couple of days in the middle of the week.  You’d gone for long walks around the lake and napped in the hammock. That night Bucky had cooked and you’d eaten outside under the stars, with candles on the table and a good bottle of pinot noir.

They’d been nervous and each of them had taken turns getting the question out.  But as soon as it had been asked you’d said yes. It wasn’t even a question. You had been together for ten months and living with them was the next logical step and you wanted to make it with every part of you.

Only now the practicality of the actual move was stressing you out.  Even though there were removalists helping you. Even though Steve and Bucky would be coming around to help any minute.  Even though you would now be living directly across the road from your work and you could sleep in 45 minutes longer. It was stressful.

You looked up at the clock.  It was just past two and you’d missed lunch.  However, there was now no food in the house. Just as you were considering ordering something, Steve and Bucky came through the front door, weighed down with Pizza’s, subs and a tray of coffee.

“Who’s hungry?”  Steve announced, placing the coffees on the kitchen counter.

The removalists all swarmed in, with shouts of ‘Cap’ and ‘you’re a hero’ as they each took coffee and food.  Bucky grabbed a couple of coffees and sandwiches and brought them over to you. “Hey, doll.” He said, kissing your cheek.  “Looks like it’s comin’ together.”

“Yeah.  It’s getting there.”  You took a look around.  There was no furniture to sit on anymore so you led Steve and Bucky outside to sit on the stoop of the brownstone.  “How’re things on your end?”

“All the furniture we bought is in.  The bigger things from our old room too.   All our little things and clothes are still upstairs.  But that can wait. Just waiting for your stuff.” Steve explained, sitting down next to you.

“Mmm…”  You hummed.  “I can’t wait to sleep in that bed with you both.”

Bucky put his arm around you.  “Not long now.” He said, nuzzling into your cheek.

With Bucky and Steve there, things got done faster.  It wasn’t that the removalists were slacking before, it’s just that Steve excelled at leadership and he just seemed to know exactly where people need to be and when.  Even you felt it. You no longer flitted about with no purpose. Things were packed and loaded an hour before you expected it, and you took one last look around your old apartment before closing the door and locking it.

“You okay?”  Bucky asked.

You leaned into him.  “This is the first place that was just mine.  My business blew up really fast. I went from working at a cake decorating place while I made chocolates at home to sell online to owning my own business in the heart of the city within five years.  So it was living at home, owning an apartment in SoHo.” You explained. “Kinda weird to be letting it go.”

“I’m gonna miss it too,”  Bucky said as you start heading down the stairs.  “It was nice having a place to go that was not part of the Avengers.”

“New more exciting things.”  You said and squeeze his butt.

Bucky smiled down at you.  “Getting fresh with me, doll?”

You laughed.  “You know it, Barnes.”  You reached back to take Steve’s hand.  “Now, take me home, fellas.”

The three of you spent the rest of the afternoon unpacking.  You managed to get half the kitchen done, some of your clothes put away into the walk-in and the living room furniture set up how you wanted it.  You were exhausted by dinner and food was ordered in. This time it’s Chinese food and you ate on the couch curled up to them.

After dinner, you used the kitchen for the first time while Steve ran a bath.   You heated milk on the stove and added dark chocolate shavings and a pinch of chili.  When the chocolate melts through you poured it into mugs and joined Bucky and Steve in the bathroom.

They were both already in the bath.  Sitting opposite each other, arms resting on the side.   The lights were dimmed and most of the light was coming from candles scattered around the room and the lights from the city.  You whistled and placed the cups on the edge of the bath. “This is fairytale stuff.” You said as you started stripping off your clothes.

Bucky and Steve both chuckled.  “The fairytales I got told were usually set in forests,”  Steve said.

You climb into the bath between them and lay down against his chest.  “That’s just because you’re really old. Get with the times.”

Steve’s hands went to your waist and he pinched your hip.  You squealed and elbowed him making the water splash over the side. “Look what you did!”  You yelped.

Steve laughed and rested his chin on your shoulder.   “What’s a home without some mess?”

You sighed and leaned back into him picking up your mug and taking a sip.  The bitter taste of the chocolate set of your endorphins and as you swallowed, the heat from the chili chased it making you feel a little high.  You hummed and relaxed back to Steve. “This is our home.”

“Man, imagine what your ma would have said if she knew you were shacking up with two people in sin, Stevie.”  Bucky teased, taking a sip of his own hot chocolate.

“I think it would have been a lot for her to absorb, that’s for sure.”  Steve agreed. “But at the same time, she didn’t expect me to make it to adulthood.  So I think she’d take it as a win overall.”

“She might just be surprised by how much you grew,”  Bucky said running his hand up Steve’s calf.

“There’s a lot of things she’d have to come to terms with.  The fact I love two people would be the least of them. Especially when one of them is you.”  He paused, his own fingers drawing circles on Bucky’s knee. “I think she knew, ya know? She once told me to be ‘careful with my heart’ and that’ the world wasn’t always kind’ after you went home one day.”

Bucky shifted onto his knees and leaned down, kissing Steve.  “Your ma was an amazing woman.” He said, pulling back. “And I know she would have loved you.”  He added, bringing his lips to yours. You pulled him down against you and he ground into you as you both kiss.  Steve’s hands slid down Bucky’s back, and he kissed your throat. You ran a hand up Bucky’s chest and another down Steve’s side.

Bucky’s cock hardened against you and you moaned into his mouth.  “We need to get out of this bath.” You whispered.

Bucky climbed out and grabbed some towels.  Your feet just touched down on the bath mat and he wrapped a towel around you and picked you up.  You squealed and he silenced it with his mouth, kissing you hungrily. You reached up and tug on his hair.

Steve climbed out behind you, letting the water out of the tub and grabbing his own towel and the three of you made your way to the bedroom.

Bucky placed you on your feet and you dried yourself before tossing the towel in the hamper and you ran, jumping up onto the bed naked.  The way you ran, seems to awaken some kind of predator response in both men. They circled around the bed eyes darkened, looking up at you.  “What are you doing, doll?” Bucky purred.

“You gotta catch me.”  You replied.

Bucky stepped up onto the bed and you ran, right into Steve’s arms.  He swung you and when he drew you against himself you wrapped your legs around him and started kissing.  He slowly dropped to his knees and lay you down. He moved down your body, kissing a trail to your pussy.  You spread your legs wide for him and he flattened his tongue and licked a stripe up your folds. You reached for Bucky and he came over to you on his knees.  As Steve started flicking his tongue over your clit and teasing at your entrance with his fingers you took Bucky’s cock and lapped up its length. When Steve’s fingers pushed inside of you, you moaned and took Bucky deep into the back of your throat.

Steve stroked his fingers inside you, seeking out your g-spot and curling his fingers so he dragged them over it like he was calling your orgasm to him.  Bucky started to roll his hips, fucking your mouth. Your head became fuzzy as you tried to focus on him. Bucky’s hand stroked down your throat, down to your breasts.  He pinched and pulled at your nipples.

You lost focus and your fingers dug into Bucky’s thighs as you just held yourself in place and let him thrust into your mouth.  Steve twisted his wrists, making his knuckles drag over your g-spot. It sent a wave through you, making your orgasm break. You released Bucky’s cock and arched up off the bed, crying out.

Bucky moved behind Steve and Steve crawled up your body.  He brought his knees up and you hooked one leg over his shoulder.  You felt the press of his cock on your entrance and he slid into you, penetrating you deeply.  As Steve starts to slowly thrust into you, Bucky went to one of the drawers that circled the base of the bed and pulled out lube.  He slicked his cock and positioned himself behind Steve, pushing into his ass.

Each time Bucky thrust into Steve it pushed him deeper into you.  Soon the room was full of your sounds. Sweat beaded on your skin making Steve slide against you.  You kissed him hungrily and held onto Bucky’s forearms, as Bucky held Steve’s waist.

Steve came first.  He cried out when it hit him and arched back into Bucky.  You brought your fingers to your clit, bringing yourself over with him.  Making your core clench and your legs tremble. Bucky groaned and thrust a few more times, biting into Steve’s shoulder.  His hips snapped forward suddenly, pushing Steve deep into you as his cock still twitched and Bucky came.

The three of you collapsed in a heap of random limbs.  “That’s the bed successfully christened.” You joked.

“Maybe tomorrow morning we can Christen the shower,”  Bucky said.

“And then the kitchen bench.”  You added.

“And the couch.”

Steve just chuckled and shook his head.  “You’re both going to be the death of me.”

Bucky leaned up and kissed the corner of Steve’s jaw.  “But what a way to go.”

Steve got up and went to the bathroom.  “Good thing I love you both.”

You and Bucky readjusted in the bed so your heads were on pillows and the blankets were over you.  Steve brought back washcloths and you all cleaned yourself up before settling into bed wrapped in each other’s arms.

* * *

Steve was the first to wake the next day.  He had never seen the three of you so completely tangled in together before.  You are splayed out on your back. Your head on Steve’s chest and your legs over Bucky’s hip.  Bucky had one arm under you, curled around your waist and the other draped over both you and Steve.  His head was pressed against Steve’s cheek and his legs were tangled with Steve’s.

Steve considered a few options.  Attempting to unravel himself from you both so he could get his day started.  Waking you and Bucky so the three of you could break in the shower like you’d suggested.  He opted for just staying there. He was home with the people he loved most. It was the start of a new chapter.  He was going to take the time to enjoy it.

 


	11. All the Things You Can Have (and the One Thing You Can't)

Steve sat on the bench in Central Park nursing a cup of black coffee.  Before he met you; this burned, bitter version you could get just about everywhere and he drank black, was just how he liked it.  Now after nine months of dating and over a year of living together, he’d started getting a sweet tooth. Shitty black coffee he paid a dollar for didn’t cut it anymore.  He needed it to be espresso. Having a flavored syrup was nice. A little bit of chocolate even better. He especially liked it when it was dusted over the top of a thick milk foam.

He took another sip and grimaced.  It was coming into spring. The flowers in the park were just starting to bloom and the air was just warming up again.  It was also fast approaching the second anniversary of the day you’d been hit by a bike messenger outside the tower.

As Steve sat, just enjoying the early afternoon sun, a horse and carriage trotted by.  There were a bride and groom sitting in the back, cuddled up close to each other. The carriage pulled into the driveway out the front of Tavern on the Green and the two got out and proceed to have photos taken around the garden.   Steve watched as they posed kissing and holding hands and staring off into the middle distance, feeling a slight pang of regret. For a moment he didn’t even know where it came from. He was happy with two people who he loved deeply.  Who loved him back. One of whom he’d grown up completely in love with and had never thought he’d be lucky enough to actually end up with.

So even though he felt much luckier than most men, he had grown up expecting to get married. He had never thought he’d get married in a place like Tavern on the Green but he did picture a small wedding in a church in Brooklyn and a reception on some tables set up in the alley beside his building.

With the life he’d chosen, that was not really an option anymore.  He couldn’t pick one of you over the other, and while he could now marry Bucky where that was not the case growing up, the world was not at a place where he could marry you both.  Seeing other people get to have that, even with the fact what he did have was more than he could have ever hoped for, made him feel that small twinge of envy.

“I hate you, you know,”  Sam said, collapsing down on the bench next to him.  He was sweat-stained and panting, his hand rested on his chest just above his heart and he drank water from the sports bottle he’d carried with him.

Steve chuckled.  “I don’t make you try and keep up with me.”  He said, picking up the coffee he’d bought Sam and offering it to him.

“Nah.  Thanks, man.  I can’t drink that since your girl moved into the building.”  Sam said, waving it away.

“I’m the same.  I don’t know why I keep buying it.”  Steve agreed, still watching the bride and groom.  “We should stop by the shop on the way home. Get some decent coffee.”

“Already planned to,”  Sam said. “You know them?”  He added, gesturing to the bride and groom with his bottle.

Steve shook his head.  “No. Just thinking of the things we can’t have.”

Sam laughed and nudged his friend.  “You can have that.”

“Sam…”  Steve said, his voice resigned to start the lecture about legality and choosing one of you over the other.

“Not legally.  But why not? You can have a ceremony.  Dress up. Get up in front of your friends and said I do. Have the party.  Cut the cake. Damn, imagine the cake, Cap.” Sam said, looking off into the middle distance wistfully.

“People do that?”  Steve asked, still unsure.

“Sure.  It’s a commitment ceremony.  Is it the same as getting married?  No. All the legal stuff isn’t part of it.  Most people won’t recognize you as being married. But you can have rings.  You can even change your names if you want.” Sam explained. “I think you should do it for the cake.”

Steve strummed his fingers on the side of the bench and looked over at the bride and groom who were now heading into the restaurant.  “Would you help me find rings?”

Sam clapped Steve on the back.  “Who are you talkin’ to? We can rope in Nat too if you want.”

“And you’ll be my best man?”  Steve asked.

“Of course.  Who else would be?”  Sam teased. “Let’s get going.  I really want one of those cookie dough truffles she makes.”

* * *

You and Bucky walked hand in hand following after a very nervous looking Steve Rogers.  He’d said he wanted to go to Coney Island again. It had come completely out of the blue, but you and Bucky went along because it sounded like fun.  You had assumed you’d be catching the subway, but instead there had been a car waiting for you. Not just a car either; it was a stretch limo. You had driven there silently trying to communicate your complete confusion with Bucky.  He looked just as confused as you felt. When you’d finally arrived the limo caught the attention of everyone in the area and Steve was immediately set upon for autographs. It had taken you at least twenty minutes to get away from them.

Now Steve strode ahead of you not stopping for anything.

“Steve, aren’t we going to ride anything?  I wanted to go on the Brooklyn Flyer.” You half whined, catching up to him and grabbing his hand.

“Yeah, and I want to go on the water one,”  Bucky added.

Steve’s hand closed around yours.  His palm was clammy and he kept fiddling with your fingers.   “I wanted to do Deno’s, not Luna Park. Ride the Wonder Wheel.”

Both you and Bucky whined.  “Really? But that parks for kids.”  You said.

“We don’t have to go on the cyclone if you’re scared,”  Bucky added.

Steve stopped and looked at you like a deer trapped in headlights.  “We - uh - we can go into Coney Island after. I just want to see the view.”  He stammered. He then turned to Bucky and punched him in the arm. “I’m not scared to ride the Cyclone.”

“Fine.  We’ll go ride the Wonder Wheel.”  You groaned and the three of you started moving again.  “What has gotten into you today?”

“Nothing.  Can we just go?”  Steve snarked.

You looked at Bucky with your eyebrows raised.  He just shrugged and shook his head.

You followed Steve down to the entrance of Deno’s and into the small park.  “Before we get on I want to get some Cotton Candy.” You said, pointing at a vendor.

“I brought chocolates with us,”  Steve said, not even breaking his stride.

“You what?”  You asked, slightly perplexed, still looking at the cotton candy longingly as Steve pulled you along.

“I - uh - I went into the shop.  They - they helped me.” Steve stammered.

You wanted to ask him more but he let go of your hand and went to the ticket booth.  You stopped and looked at Bucky. “What the hell?”

Bucky just shook his head.  “I have no fuckin’ idea.”

“Did we miss some anniversary or something?”  You asked.

Bucky furrowed his brow.  “I can’t think of one. We met you around now.  But I think the actual anniversary of that is next week isn’t it?”

“Yeah, next week.  We’re going out to dinner.”  You confirmed.

“Then no fuckin’ idea.  He’s all up in his head about something though.”  Bucky shrugged.

When you got on the Wonder Wheel things were no better.  Steve sat bolt upright, his body completely tense looking at you and Bucky who just sat opposite him holding hands and looking out at the view of Brooklyn and the ocean.

“Remember when we used to come out here as a kid, Buck?”  Steve said, his voice had the very hint of a shake to it and you and Bucky both look at him puzzled.

“Bits and pieces.  Still struggling to find it all really.”  Bucky answered, he shifted forward in his chair and took Steve’s hands in his.  “What’s the matter, Stevie?”

Steve rummaged in the bag he brought with him and pulled out a box that clearly came from your chocolate shop, and clearly contained truffles.  “I love you both, so much.” He said and handed you the box. “I can’t imagine my life without either of you.”

“We feel the same way, Steve.”  You said, taking it and removing the lid.  The tray was filled with truffles. You recognized them as the ones that you and Bucky had both said you liked best.   In the middle were two little boxes made from chocolate.

Steve dropped to his knee making the gondola you’re in rock.   He said both your names, looking up at you. It took a moment to even recognize that he spoke.  Your brain was screaming at you that this couldn’t be happening. That Steve couldn’t possibly think that you can get married.  “Will you marry me?”

“Stevie?”  Bucky said, sadly.  “You know we can’t.”

“Not… I mean….”  He ran his hands through his hair flustered.  “I mean not legally. But we can still do it. Have a commitment ceremony.  Get up and tell the world how we want to be together. That we’re committed to each other.”

You picked up the chocolate box that was closest to you.  Inside was a simple ring with a band of black and silver. “I think this one is yours.”  You said giving it to Bucky. You looked down at Steve and ran your fingers through his hair.

“Yes.  Of course, Steve.”  You said.

Steve opened up the chocolate box and took out a simple white gold engagement ring with a round cut diamond.  You held out your left hand and he slipped it on your finger. You leaned down and cupped his jaw, kissing him deeply.  Your lips tenderly caressing his. “I love you so much, Steve.” You breathed when you pulled back.

You both looked over to Bucky.   He was beaming at you. “Yeah, of course, I will.  I just have one question. How will I wear this?” He said holding up his metal hand and flexing his fingers.

Steve got to his feet and kissed Bucky.  You leaned your head against Bucky’s arm while they kissed.  When Steve pulled back they both started laughing. “Maybe we can get Tony to weld it on.”  He joked, taking his seat again.” He took Bucky’s right hand and slid the ring in place. “For now, this will do.  But you could always get a chain or - whatever you think.”

You turned to Bucky.  “Will you marry me, Buck?”  You asked, a huge smile on your face.

He grinned at you.  “Yeah. I’d like that.”

The two of you leaned in and kissed each other just as the gondola came to a halt.  The three of you got out and stretched your legs. “So now that’s done with, can we go have some fun?”  You asked.

Steve laughed and puts his arms around both yours and Bucky’s shoulders.  “Yes. We can go have fun.”

“And you’re gonna ride the cyclone right?”  Bucky teased.

Steve shook his head and gave Bucky a large wet kiss on the cheek.  “I am absolutely not going to ride the cyclone.”


	12. The Best Man

Bucky wore his engagement ring around his neck attached to the same chain he had his dog tags on.  He had planned to have a band engraved on his wedding ring finger after the ceremony.  You and he had also gone shopping together for a ring for Steve.  It was brushed titanium with an inlay of blue opal.  Steve had loved it and allowed you both to slide it on.  Happy that they each had that symbol of commitment on them.

Right now though, rings were the last thing on Bucky’s mind.  Right now he was just worried about who would be his best man.

Steve was talking to Sam about his plans for the wedding.  Places you had suggested it be held and what he and Bucky thought of them.  Sam was suggesting ideas for suit styles and where to have his bachelor party.  The conversation kept coming back to cake.  Each time Sam swung it back in that direction Steve would laugh and tell Sam one different suggestion that you had thrown out about flavors or design.

Bucky sat trying not to look as sulky as he felt.  The truth was, he had wanted to ask Sam to be his best man.  It hadn’t even occurred to him that Steve would have asked Sam to fill the role before he’d even proposed.  It made sense of course.  He was Steve’s best friend.  The guy who actually made him feel comfortable in the 21st century.

Only he was Bucky’s best friend too.  And unlike Steve who got on well with everyone, Bucky only really had Sam and the girls.  Tony was definitely a no.  On bad days Tony and he would be openly hostile to each other.  Bruce and he got along okay, but they really didn’t know each other well given Bruce spent most of his time in the lab and when they went on mission together he was usually the Hulk.  Yes, he got on with Clint fine.  If he had to, he’d ask him.  But Clint didn’t know Bucky as well as Sam did.  He didn’t feel as comfortable giving him shit the way Sam did.  He was Steve’s friend who got along well with Bucky.  Whereas to Bucky, Sam was just his friend.

The problem was; all his life, if he pictured himself getting married Steve was the best man.  Because even though he had been completely head-over-heels in love with him, there was no option for them to get married.  So he’d resigned to the fact that best man would be the only part Steve could fill if Bucky did get married.

Only now he was getting the thing he had never expected to have.  He was marrying not only the man he had always wanted but never even allowed himself to hope to get, but he was marrying you too.  If he and Steve were two sides of the same coin, you were all the details that actually made it a coin and not just some random metal disk.  You were the thing that completed them.  Made them whole and functioning.  You were their safe place.  The person who was untainted and pure and who only saw them as Steve and Bucky and not Captain America and the Winter Soldier.  Bucky couldn’t believe after everything he had had to endure that he was getting a happy ending that was so much above the one he’d hoped for.

Except he had no friend to stand beside him and tell him good job.  You deserve this.  You’re a lucky guy.  He only had Steve’s friends and they all preferred Steve.

“Well, she said she was considering having one layer a marbled dark and white chocolate mud with a salted caramel fudge injected into it and then drizzled over the ganache.”  Steve was explaining, as Sam brought the conversation back to cake again.

Sam made a graphic moan sound.  “Holy shit.  Your woman is a fucking genius.  Or artist.  Or both.”

“I’ll tell you what.  Let’s stay focused on things like suits for five minutes and I’ll let you come into the store when we’re doing the cake tasting.”  Steve chuckled.

Bucky got up and headed for the elevator.

“Where you going, Buck?  I thought we were going to look at suits?”  Steve said, looking up.

“I need some air.  You’ve got other things to look at right?”  Bucky said as the doors opened.  Steve tilted his head and narrowed his eyes but he didn’t say anything.

Bucky rode the elevator down to the lobby and left the building, crossing the road and going straight into the shop.  The staff looked up and smiled, greeting him warmly.  He beelined straight out the back to where you were working on an elaborate chocolate sculpture of various cogs and disks.

You looked up and smiled at him.  “Hey, babe.  What’s up?”  You asked, immediately knowing there was something not sitting right with him.

“Nothing.  Just thought I’d come see what you were up to.”  He said, wrapping his arms around you and putting his head on your shoulder.

You took a stray piece of chocolate shaving from the bench and reached behind you placing it on his tongue.  “And now the truth?”  You said.

Bucky sighed.  “I just don’t know who to ask to be my best man.  You already have your maid of honor.   And Steve has Sam.  I just… don’t have anyone.”

You took off your gloves and turned to face him wrapping him in your arms and snuggling into his chest.  “You thought about asking Clint?”

“Yeah.  I’ll probably ask Clint.  But he’s Steve’s friend.  Shouldn’t your best man be the one that gets you in the divorce?”  He asked.

You started giggling.  “I think if you divorced Steve, Steve would still get you in the divorce.  You aren’t getting away from him again for anything.”

Bucky chuckled.  “Too bad he can’t be my best man.”

“Well, he’s always going to be your best man.  But I know what you mean.”  You said, looking up at him.  “You want it to be Sam don’t you?”

Bucky sighed.  “Yeah.  He’s the only one that really just treated me like any old jerk off the street right away.  Everyone else, even Steve tiptoed around me for so long.  Or they were flat out hostile to me.  But he’s Steve’s best friend.”

Your heart broke for Bucky.  You knew about his past and were aware that he was quite intimidating. You even knew about the really dark stuff that involved Natasha and Tony.  But even with all that you couldn’t see how people were blind to the soft kind man that was in him.  Yes, he was fiercely protective and still hadn’t quite come to terms with the ‘no killing’ thing that the Avengers had.  But that was in combat.  It wasn’t at home.  It hurt that people couldn’t see the distinction.

“What time is it?”  You asked.

Bucky took out his phone and looked at the screen.  “Almost twelve.”

“Go grab some things from the shop.  We’ll get something from those food carts and take it up for lunch.  Just give me a second to get my workplace a little cleaner.”  You said.

Bucky kissed the top of your head and disappeared back into the shop.  You pulled out your phone and called Tony.

* * *

Bucky had selected a small handful of thin dark chocolate leaves with shards of mint in them and some pecan pie truffles to take upstairs.  You stopped and grabbed a selection of things like perogies, cabbage rolls and gyros from the carts that hung out the front of the tower catching the tourists that passed by.  Now you, Bucky, Steve and Sam were all lounging in the common area eating things in no particular order and talking about things that ranged from the wedding to missions and the girl Sam had been talking to in reception.

You were just starting to feel full when Tony burst into the room from the elevator making sure his presence was definitely known.

“So I was thinking Cap, for your bachelor party we should book out a floor on the Bellagio.  Do some gambling.  See some strippers.  Get Thor to bring some of that mead down.  What do you think?”  Tony said, flopping down on the couch beside Steve.  He took off his glasses and put them in his pocket and took a truffle from the table and tossed it into his mouth.

“Tony…”  Steve started.

“I know, I know.  You have an image.  Grow a beard.  Live large for a change.”  He pulled out his phone from his pocket and typed some things in.  “As your best man, you should also know I’m demanding that we wear Armani.”

“Tony, you aren’t…”  Steve said.  You caught his eye and very subtly shook your head.  He gave you a questioning look and you glanced from Bucky to Sam.  Sam seemed to notice too and his eyes went wide.

“Don’t worry about it.  Let Tony have it.”  Sam groaned.

“But Sam… I want you involved.”  Steve protested.

Bucky perked up.  “I don’t have a best man.  You could be mine.”  He suggested.

Sam crossed his arms over his chest and huffed.  “Fine.”

“There settled.  I’ll start planning things.”  Tony said getting up.

You stood up after him.  “I better get back to the grindstone.  See you fellas tonight.”  You said, bending down and kissing Bucky and Steve goodbye.

You stepped into the elevator with Tony and as soon as the door closed behind you, you hugged him tightly.  He startled for a second and then closed his arms around you.  “Thank you for doing that.”  You said.

Tony smiled.  “Of course.  I had already started planning his bachelor party.”

“Yeah, yeah.  You’re just a big ol’ softie aren’t you?”  You teased, kissing his cheek and letting him go.

Tony smiled and put his glasses back on.  “Just don’t tell anyone.”

You laughed and patted his back.  “Your secret is safe with me.”


	13. Whiskey and Mead

Bucky woke early and slipped out of bed going into the closet to get dressed.  He dressed in a pair of jeans and the red plaid shirt you bought him for the occasion.  He pulled on his boots and went to the bathroom.  When he came back out he grabbed his wallet and pressed a kiss to first Steve’s and then your forehead.  He watched as you each smiled in your sleep and snuggled into each other.  It tugged at his heart and he ran his hand down your forearm before leaving the room.

Sam was waiting upstairs in the common room with Clint, Thor, Bruce, Rhodey, Vision, Scott, and Tony.  They all looked in various states of being awake and they all held a coffee.   “You ready, man?”  Sam asked, picking up a thermos from the counter.

Bucky smiled and nodded.  “As I’ll ever be.”

Weddings were nightmares to organize.  Even when they aren’t weddings just commitment ceremonies because you can’t legally get married.  All the big things need doing so far in advance to get them exactly how you want them that you almost have to be planning before you’re engaged.  The fact that finding a ceremony for three people was next to impossible.  Then there were the small things you don’t consider.  Like the fact that your family doesn’t divide evenly into the table settings.  That cousin with the allergy to garlic.  That you needed to know what your underwear was before you started getting fitted for your dress so they could make sure none of it was showing.

It was done though.  The dress was in its final adjustment phase.  The cake was designed, the flavors were picked and work was about to start on it.  Steve and Bucky had their suits.  The venue was booked.  You had Thor officiating (he assured you it was all very official on Asgard).  You could smell the finish line and what was left seemed to be the fun stuff.

Bucky was the first to have his bachelor party.  It started with fishing.  Sam having chartered a boat to take them out together.  Clint got seasick as soon as it cleared the harbor and Tony complained about the lack of strippers.

“Are you really going to get Steve strippers?”  Bucky asked.

Sam laughed as Tony smirked.  “Of course he’s going to,”  Sam said.  “It’s Tony you’re talking about.”

“At least two.  One guy.  One girl.  They’ll be getting him involved.”  Tony teased.  “Bet you’re wishing you’d asked me to organize yours now too, aren’t you Manchurian Candidate?  Then we might not be stuck on a boat with Legolas puking into the Atlantic.”

“Hey, it’s not just the fishing!”  Sam said defensively.

“Poor Steve.  He’s not going to know what hit him.  You have to film it.”  Bucky said excitedly.

Tony chuckled and took a drink of his beer.  “You know I’m going to.  That thing’s going out in the company email.”

The boat took them back just after lunch and everyone returned to the tower to put their extremely meager catches on ice and wash the smell of fish of themselves.  Bucky took a long shower and went and changed into a navy blue suit with a black shirt.  He left the collar unbuttoned and slicked his hair back.

The others were all sitting around the common room also dressed in suits.  “So where to now?”  Bucky asked.

“You’ll have to wait and see,”  Sam said with a half smile.

“Well, are we going to go?”  Bucky asked when no one made the move to leave.

“No.  Just waiting on someone,”  Sam answered.

“Is it strippers?”  Bucky asked, trying to keep the excitement from his voice.  There was a ding as the elevator reached the floor and the doors opened.

Natasha stepped out wearing a suit with her hair slicked back.  “Fellas.”  She said, giving them all a little salute.

“You’re coming, Tasha?”  Bucky asked, excitedly.

“Of course.  You couldn’t keep me away.”  She replied with a smirk.

The group then moved to the Flatiron Room.  A whiskey club in midtown.  They’d booked the entire venue for the night and sat lounging on the leather seats an array of different Scotch being brought out for them to sample as they ate and listened to the live jazz band.   Plates of share food kept being brought out that included things like Bone Marrow, Blackened Octopus, and meatballs.

As the night went on everyone kept getting drunker and drunker while Bucky and Thor remained sober.  “I think it may be time for you and I to sample some of what Asgard has to offer.”  The god said sliding into the seat next to Bucky.

“It’s fine.  I still enjoy the Scotch.  I always wanted to come somewhere like this.”  Bucky said.  “When I was a kid they banned alcohol.”

“They did what?”  Thor roared in offense.

“Didn’t like fun back then.  No alcohol, two guys couldn’t be together, breakfast was intentionally bland because flavor was supposed to be distracting.”  Bucky explained.

“You Midgardians confuse me,”  Thor said shaking his head.  “At least there has been some improvement.  Though why the three of you can’t have your relationship recognized I will never know.  Such love is both rare and beautiful.”  He pulled out a flask and filled a glass for both Bucky and himself.

“Now, James my friend let us drink to the two people who hold your heart.”  He said raising his glass.  Bucky clinked his against it and downed the drink.

He followed it with another.  And another after that.  When the stripper did stride through the front door Bucky was a giggling mess of a man.

“Tony!  I said no strippers.  I was trying to be classy.”  Sam yelled as the woman walked up the narrow path past the bar towards the group.  Sam was drowned out by the boos and jeers of the others and he sat down next to Bucky and slung his arm around Bucky’s shoulder.  “Just remember this is not on me.”

“Hello, boys.”  The woman said.  “My name is Candy.  Where’s my lucky bachelor?”

Natasha grabbed Bucky’s hand and shoved him towards Candy.

“Hey, darlin’.”  Candy said pulling out a chair and pushing him to sit.  “You been having a good night?”

Bucky started giggling.  “Yes… my friends are awesome.”

“They do look awesome.  Is that Thor?”  She asked bringing her lips to his ear.

“Yes.  I’m friends with Thor.  That’s pretty crazy right?”  Bucky giggled.

She turned on the music and started to dance. Gyrating above him.  “It’s very cool.  And who’s the lucky lady who’s getting to marry you?”

“Oh, doll.  She is so great. I can’t even… why would she even look at me twice?  But she loves me you know?  I love her so much.”  Bucky babbled completely oblivious to the fact Candy had now removed her top.

“Are you really talking about your fiancée while this delightful creature is trying to do her job?”  Tony jeered.

“No, Tones.  You got it wrong.  He needs to talk about the other one too.”  Rhodey teased.

“Other one?”  Candy asked arching backward and leaning her palms on Bucky’s thighs.

“Oh yeah.  This one is marrying two people.  Tell her about him.”  Sam pushed.

“Stevie is awesome.  I’ve known him since we were kids.  He’s a little slugger.  Always fighting people he thinks are wrong.”  Bucky rambles.

“He sounds really swell, honey.”  Candy said.

Bucky spent the rest of her routine babbling happily about all the things he loved about you and Steve.  Candy left with the biggest smile on her face and a large tip.

“You are one drunk and in love fool, ya know that?”  Sam teased.

Bucky blushed and ran his hand through his hair.

“Well, I got one last thing for everyone,”  Sam said waving to one of the people behind the bar.  They came out with a box that was clearly from your chocolate shop.  He took it from her and started handing out the chocolates inside.   Bucky took one and looked at it.  Sitting in the palm of his hand was a pair of perfect chocolate breasts.  He started laughing.

“She must have loved it when you asked for these.”  He wheezed.

Sam cocked his eyebrow at Bucky.  “You’d think so, wouldn’t you.  It was her damn idea.”

That just made Bucky laugh even harder.  “Of course it was.”

The group headed very drunk into the city and hit a club.  Thor and Bucky continued to drink the Asgardian Mead so by the time Bucky returned to the tower it was very early morning and he was wasted.  He staggered into your apartment thinking he was being very quiet when really he sounded like he’d dragged a whole herd of water buffalo in with him.

You and Steve both woke and watched as he awkwardly stripped his clothes off staggered to the bathroom, staggered back and crawled into the bed with you both.

“Oh no.”  He slurred.  “Shh… go back to sleep.”

“Did you have fun?”  You whispered.

He patted your cheek and snuggled up against you.  “I had so much fun.”  He slurred.  “Tony got a stripper.  She was really nice.”

You started snickering.  “Was she?”

“Yeah.  She said you and Steve sounded really swell.”  Bucky said.

That made Steve laugh too.  “Alright, pal.  It sounds like you had a ball.”

“Mmm…”  Bucky hummed.  “I love you guys so much.”

“I love you too.”  You and Steve said in unison.

Bucky draped his arm over you both and pressed his face into your neck.  It wasn’t long until he’s snoring.

You settled back into the pillows and Steve rested his chin on the top of your head.  “I haven’t seen him drunk since before he enlisted.”  He said quietly.  “It’s kind of nice seeing him really let go.  I wish I could have seen him over the night.”

“Maybe we can get him wasted at the wedding.”  You suggested.

Steve propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at you.  “Oh no.  We have far better plans for our wedding night, and we all need to at least be mostly sober for them.”

You bite your bottom lip.  “Well lucky me.  Four more weeks.”

“Four more weeks.”  Steve agreed.


	14. What Happens in Vegas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the image in this is needed for the story. It's a text message.

Friday, 1907hrs the Quinjet touched down on the private runway on the outskirts of Las Vegas.  Steve wasn’t quite sure why he had needed to wear a blindfold the entire way to Vegas considering he’d known all along where they were going, but he’d played along.  His eyes were now sweating and he hoped now they were here it wouldn’t be too much longer.

The back of the jet opened and a rush of cool desert air filled the jet, making the hair on his head get buffeted about.  He unbuckled the harness holding him into his seat and stood up.

“Can I take this blindfold off now, Tony?”  He asked.

Tony came over and took Steve by the elbow.  “Not until we get to our room.  You don’t want to spoil the surprise.”

Steve rolled his eyes and let Tony lead him out of the jet.  “This is gonna be so good!”  Clint said, climbing out of the cockpit and patting Steve on the shoulder.

Tony led him to a car and guided him into the back seat, almost hitting his head on the door frame.  He assumed it was some sort of stretch limo because the sounds of Sam, Clint, Thor, Scott, Bruce, Vision, Nick and Natasha all talking greeted him and he was pressed between Sam and Tony.  A beer was placed in his hand and the car started up and began to move.

“I’m still not sure why the blindfold was necessary for the entire flight,”  Steve said, running his fingers up underneath the cloth the wipe his eyes.

The others started laughing.  “Oh, it wasn’t.  We just wanted to see if you’d go along with us for that long.”   Tony teased.

Steve sighed and shook his head.  “So I can take it off?”

Tony clapped Steve on the shoulder. “Oh no.  Absolutely not.”

1943hrs the limo pulled up at whatever hotel they were staying at and Steve was shuffled out of the car with the group.  Steve wondered what you and Bucky were doing now.  Last time he saw you both you’d both kissed him goodbye, told him to have fun and you’d snuggled down into the couch together.  Right now he wished he was there with you.  In fact, right now he’d take being on a mission overriding this elevator up to the penthouse of whatever hotel Tony had booked.

He was led down the hall and the others all filed into the suite in front of him.

“Oh hell yeah!  This is going to rock!”  Clint cheered as he entered the room.

Steve braced himself as Tony walked him through the door and took his blindfold off.  The room was large with floor to ceiling windows that looked over the strip.  Glass doors opened up onto a private balcony containing a hot tub.  There was a large bar that Clint was already behind pouring a drink.  A large round dining table was set up to play poker.  Giant flat screen TV’s were located on two of the walls both set two the football.  There was a sunken lounge.  The couches were tan leather and sat in a semi-circle and facing the window.  In the middle of them were two women wearing bikinis and wrestling in a kiddy pool filled with chocolate syrup.

Sam started some music up on the sound system and Tony hustled Steve through into the room.

“What have you done, Tony?”  Steve said, stifling a laugh as he was pushed towards the couch.

“Thought it would remind you what you had back home.”  Tony joked.

“Let’s get this party started!”  Clint shouted holding his glass up.  The room erupted in cheers.

2106hrs and the women with help from the others packed up the wrestling pit.  They were invited to stay by an already very tipsy Tony and much to Steve’s protests they agreed to stay.  Sam made them drinks and they were dealt into the poker game that Rhodey started.

“I’m not sure we can bet as large as you can, Mr Stark.”  One of the two women said.

The room erupted into laughter.  “I’m fairly certain that’s true for everyone here, dear.  Don’t worry it’s just for fun.”  Tony said.

2237hrs and Scott had suggested they make it strip poker.  Steve found it strange that not a single person protested that.  Especially considering most of them were straight men and there were only three women here.

2239hrs and Thor had pressed the first glass of Asgardian mead into his hand.

Steve tossed the drink back and looked around at the others.  Clint was shuffling the deck.  He’d been in charge of that since they started playing.  Everyone liked how he could do trick shuffling.  Steve had lost the first round of strip poker and his jacket was now hanging on the back of the chair.

2252hrs and Steve had now lost 4 hands and one of the two women had lost another.  Steve had stripped himself of his shoes, socks, tie, and belt.  Natasha smirked at him and signed something under the table at Clint.  Clint laughed and nodded.

“What are you two up to?”  Steve asked.

“Nothing,”  Natasha said innocently.  “Why don’t you have another mead.  Thor?”

“Yes!  Fine idea.  Here, my friend.”  Thor roared, clapping Steve on the back and pouring more mead into Steve’s glass.

2316hrs and there was a knock on the door.  A few others had lost items of clothing.  Natasha’s jacket was now on the back of her chair.  Tony had slipped his glasses into the breast jacket of his suit.  Both of the other women had taken their shoes off.  Steve was now completely shirtless.

Bruce got up and opened the door and several trolleys of different kinds of food where wheeled inside.  The spread was enormous and could feed everyone in the room for a week.  There was pizza, mini hot gods, wings with several different marinades and meatballs on one trolley.  An array of seafood including shrimp, oysters and crabs legs on another.  One just contained desserts, a chocolate fountain sitting in the middle of it.

That did remind Steve of you and he pulled out his phone and sent you a text.

“Put your phone away, lover boy and stop taking naked selfies,”  Tony said, snatching the phone from Steve’s hand and putting it into the breast pocket of his jacket.

2353hrs and Steve was very drunk, down to his underwear and suddenly very sure that Clint had been rigging his hands to lose.

2359hrs and he found out why.  There was another knock on the door and Tony, Sam and Thor all jumped to their feet.  Tony went to the door while Thor pulled Steve into the middle of the floor while Sam followed with one of the chairs.  Thor sat Steve in the chair and Tony pulled the door open.

A man and woman stood side by side.  The guy was huge and dressed in a cheap looking costume based on Bucky’s Winter Soldier uniform.  All the way down to a fake metal arm.  His hair was long and hung in his eyes and when he saw who answered the door and who was now sitting in his underwear in the middle of the floor he startled like he was sure he was about to get into trouble.   The woman was slight with long dark brown hair and wore a dress that had large plastic candies stuck to it.  She didn’t falter at all she strutted in and went straight for Steve.

“You must be the lucky guy, huh?”  She said, booping Steve on the nose.  The Bucky wannabe followed in after her, still looking slightly hesitant.  “When’s the big day?”

“In two weeks,”  Steve answered, looking up at them both.

“You can get up to so much trouble in two weeks.”  She teased.

Tony laughed loudly.  “Yeah like this guy knows how to get up to trouble?”

“Are you kidding me, Tony?”  Sam protested.  “Steve is nothing but trouble.”

“What do you think, sweetheart?”  The dancer said bending over Steve and putting her hands on his shoulders.  “Are you a good boy or a bad boy?”

Steve swallowed hard and the tips of his ears turned pink.  He opened his mouth to say something.  He wasn’t sure what, just any word that might be a suitable answer to that question.  The only sound that came out was an indistinct croak.

“Oh my god, I think you broke him.”  Rhodey laughed.

“Well, I’ll have to see what we can do to rectify that.”  She said.

0014hrs the Bucky dancer went to the stereo and docked his phone with it turning on some music, then the two dancers began their routine.  They took turns grinding in Steve’s others laps.  They groped and moved against each other.  They danced in perfect sync with each other, sliding between each other’s legs, removing each other’s clothes.  By the end of the routine, Steve’s mouth was dry and he was thinking about anything at all that could drive off the erection that had started to form.  The group applauded and Tony gave them both a large tip.  He invited them to stay too, but they refused.  Steve attempted to thank them but once again he blushed a deep red and stumbled over his words.

0107hrs the group moved to the hot tub.  Tony brought out cigars and they sat smoking in the hot water, everyone on some level of drunk ranging from mildly tipsy to completely smashed.

“Thank you for ordering that Easter basket, Tony,”  Steve said, with a slight slur to his words.

Tony clapped him on the shoulder.  “You’re welcome, Cap.”

“It’s funny ya know.  Bucky and I were great before that.  Really happy.  Then we met her and now we’re really great and we have her.”  Steve mused.

“Okay, pal.  I think we might need to cut you off.”  Sam laughed.

“No…”  Steve said, dragging the word out.  “I’m fine.”

“I’m afraid there is little choice, friend.  We have depleted my supply.”  Thor said.

“Oh no,”  Steve said quietly which made everyone roar with laughter.

0247hrs on  Saturday everyone moved back inside.  Those that had the sense made their way to the bedrooms.  The rest, including Steve, sat on the couch talking until they each passed out.

1023hrs and Steve slowly pried his eyes open.  He was asleep leaning on Sam’s leg. Clint and Natasha were somehow both draped over him and each other.  Clint had drooled on Steve’s chest.  There was a knock at the door and Tony who was already showered and dressed in a suit went and answered it.  Trolleys piled high with breakfast food were wheeled in and the smell of bacon, eggs, toast, and pancakes filled the room.

Slowly the people on the couch sat up groaning and blinking around the room.

Saturday, 1924hrs EST the Quinjet touched down on the landing pad of the Avengers Tower.

1941hrs and Steve slumped through the door of your apartment.  You and Bucky were sitting cuddled up watching TV.  Steve just collapsed down on top of both of you.

“Never let me go to a party hosted by Tony Stark again.”  He groaned.

Bucky started laughing as he carded his fingers through Steve’s hair.  You rubbed his back soothingly.  “You looked like you had fun.”

Steve looked up at you startled.   “What?”

“Oh, we got texted a lot of photos.  A.  Lot.”  Bucky said with a smirk.

Steve groaned and covered his face with his hands.  “Oh, god.”

You laughed and leaned down to kiss him.  “Good news, Steve.  2 weeks.”  You said pulling back.

He looked up at you and Bucky.  “Can’t wait.”


	15. Bon Appétit

You pulled on your hoody and headed out into the living room.  Steve was sitting at the kitchen table drawing while Bucky was playing one of those episodic video games on the PS4 he’d gotten into recently.  You grabbed your backpack and kissed each of them on the top of the head.

“I’m heading out now.” You said.  “Don’t wait up.”

Steve lifted his head and looked you over.  “Is that what you’re wearing?”

“Rude.”  You said simply, stifling a laugh.

“Still haven’t learned how to talk to women, have ya, pal?”  Bucky said, shaking his head.

Steve looked like a deer in headlights for a moment.  “I didn’t… It’s just… You’re going to your bachelorette!”  He stammered.

You ruffled Steve’s hair.  “We’re going to a spa first.  Then dancing after. They’re bringing my clothes. I just have to go with it.”

“Well, have fun,”  Steve said, leaning up and kissing you.

“You two behave yourself while I’m gone.”  You teased and headed for the door.

“Never!”  Bucky called as you closed the door behind you.

Natasha, Pepper, and Wanda were waiting for you down in the lobby and the four of you headed out to the limo that was waiting for you.  A champagne was pressed into your hand as soon as you were buckled in. The ride to the day spa was so short that you barely even had time to sip it before Happy opened the limo door and you were hustled out into the Spa.

There were actually a few paparazzi out the front.  They were a random nuisance from time to time, but you were usually left you alone.  They were also much more interested in the other three women with you than you. It was easy to ignore them as you followed them into the spa.

Your mother, sister, and two sister-in-laws were waiting for you along with a group of friends including some of the women from work and old school friends.  You were hugged and congratulated and then hustled off to begin the treatment which started with a massage and a mud wrap for everyone before you were all cleaned off and put in spa chairs and given drinks and snacks while your nails, hair, and makeup were done.

As the women began to drink, the weird questions started up.

“I bet with two of them your wedding night is going to be wild.”  Your friend Anna asked.

Natasha quirked an eyebrow at her.  “I used to share a wall with them, trust me, it’s already wild.”

The room broke down into laughter and you felt heat spread to your face.  “Which one is wilder. I bet it’s Bucky right? He looks wild.” Rachel from the shop asked.

Your sister-in-law shook her head.  “No, no, no. It would be Steve. It’s the good ones you have to watch out for.”

“Quiet ones.  Not good ones.”  Rachel protested. “And that’s Bucky.”

“Does he ever use the metal hand to…  you know?” Anna said, waggling her eyebrows at you.

You stared at her deadpan.  “The man lost his arm in a war.”

She stuttered for a second and you noticed Natasha give you a wink.  After a few awkward topic changes, it turned back around to sex again.  The more you drank the more you got into it.

It wasn’t long until your beauty treatments were done and you were being shuffled into a change room with your sister and mom.  Your sister handed you a clothing bag and inside was a black bikini and a sheer black lace dress to wear over it.

“Where are we going next?”  You asked looking at the choice of clothing and feeling a touch of dread.

“Just put it on.”  Your sister said. “Trust us.”

You dressed and were shuffled back out to the limo.  This time there were a few people waiting for you and you were driven out to the Meatpacking district.  The group took you to the roof of a hotel where a rooftop disco was located. It had a view over the Hudson on one side and you could see the lights of the city on the other, including the Avengers Tower off in the distance.

It was darkly lit with a bar on one side and a crêperie on the other.  There was a DJ playing dance music on the side of the dancefloor. Tables and chairs littered the balcony and right in the middle of the dance floor was the reason for your bikini.   A plunge pool sat right in the middle of the floor.

You completely let go for the night.  Dancing and drinking and swimming with your friends and family.  It had been a long time since you remembered letting your hair down the way you were tonight.  Balancing, work, a relationship, family, and friends was difficult. Especially when you ran your own business.  Getting a chance to just let go of your inhibitions was freeing.

The best bit of the night was the whole venue had been booked.  So it was just you and the women in your life you liked most. You were free to dance together in your bikinis.  Swim. Drink. Yell along with embarrassing 90s pop songs at the top of your lungs. No one else was there to harass you or make you feel uncomfortable.

It was the early morning by the time you staggered home.  To your surprise, Steve and Bucky have waited up for you. Even more surprising, Bucky was wearing a tuxedo and Steve was wearing a cheap looking version of his Stealth suit.

“Hey, doll.  Did you have a good night?”  Bucky said getting up and kissing your cheek.

You leaned into him, wrapping your arms around his waist.  “So good.” You slurred. “There was a pool on the dance floor.”

“That sounds fun.”  He said and leads you to a kitchen chair.

“What’re ya doin’?”  You asked sitting down and looking up at him.

Bucky puts a pot of chocolate body paint in your hand and a brush in the other.  You look down at them and back up to him and it slowly dawns on you. “I didn’t think I was going to get any strippers.”  You said excitedly.

“Nat told us your sister said it was tacky.  Didn’t seem fair.” Steve said, coming up behind Bucky and kissing him on the neck.  “FRIDAY.”

You squirmed excitedly in the chair as the opening chords of Bon Appetit by Katy Perry starts up.  You were too drunk and buzzing to even question why either Bucky or Steve would know that song to choose it.

They started grinding on each other.  This was definitely not a spur of the moment thing.  They have been practicing for you. That little revelation made you feel so warm and loved.  You couldn’t believe how lucky you were to have them.

As the routine went on, they each removed clothing, tearing them off each other.  They began grinding up on you too. When they do you took the opportunity to paint stripes of body paint on them.  They decided if you were going to lick them off or they would.

When it was you, you go slow, swirling your tongue on their skin.  The salt from their skin mixed with the bittersweet taste of the chocolate and you hummed happily each time.

By the time the song was done, they were sweaty, naked and rock hard and you were squirming in your seat, wet and tingling.

Steve scooped you up and carried you to the bedroom.  You let your shoes drop to the floor as he walked down the hall.  Bucky took the body chocolate from you and Steve deposits you on your large circular bed. He crawled up over you and runs his hands up your thighs.  “There is not very much to this dress.” He said. His hands running over the lace. His fingers went to the neckline and he tore it right down the middle. You squealed with delight and pulled him down on top of you.  You kissed. It’s wet and sloppy and fueled by the alcohol, even as you’ve started to sober up.

Steve’s hands went to your bikini and he pulled the string behind the back of the neck.  It fell free and he tossed it away. He sat up and assessed you through darkened eyes, his hands going to your bikini bottoms and untying them.  Bucky moved to sit beside you on his knees and swirled chocolate paint on your nipples. The thick paint was cold and your nipples hardened as it came in contact with them.  Both men duck their heads in and swirl their tongues over the hardened peaks before sucking them into their mouths. 

Bucky’s hand went to your pussy and started teasing your clit.  His hand was joined by Steve’s. Steve slipped two of his fingers into your waiting cunt.  He scissored them inside you before twisting his wrist and dragging his knuckles over your g-spot.   With Steve fucking you with his fingers, Bucky pinching and teasing your clit and the two of them sucking and biting at your nipples you were soon brought apart.

It’s like an electrical current ran under your skin making it prickle and your hair follicles stand on end. Steve started to stroke hard along your g-spot as he spread and curled his fingers inside you.  It was too much. You arched up under them and came, crying out.

Bucky and Steve stroked you through it, both of them just hovering over you and watching.  When Steve pulled his fingers free, Bucky took his hand and put them in his mouth bobbing his head up and down, as he sucked the digits clean.

“Hey, sweetheart, what are you up for?”  Steve asked, as Bucky slowly pulled off Steve’s fingers, dragging his teeth over the pads of his fingertips.

“You were giving me a show.  So I want to watch.” You said, biting your bottom lip.

Steve chuckled and shook his head while Bucky’s tongue ran over his lips.  “You dirty girl.” He teased and turned on Steve. They started kissing. It’s not that you’ve never seen them have sex with each other.  You have. They’d each watched you have sex with one or the other too. It was inevitable that would happen in a relationship like this.

The way they kissed though.  It’s almost more for you than for them.  Their tongues circled together and their hands roam over each other’s body.  You sat back away from them and started teasing your clit with the very tips of your fingers.

Each of their hands went to each other’s already hard and leaking cocks and they pumped them slowly.  Steve let out a small whimpering moan and moved a little closer to Bucky, his free hand tangling in Bucky’s hair.  They moved so they were pressed together, Steve took both their cocks in his hand and stroked them as they continued to kiss.

You reached behind you and pulled out one of the draws surrounding the base of your circular bed and grabbed the lube.  Bucky held out his hand to you and you pressed the bottle into his palm.

Bucky turned in Steve’s arms and you watched on, your body trembling slightly as Steve slicked his cock and slowly eased it into Bucky’s ass.  The look on both their faces was pure bliss. Lips parted, eyes closed. Bucky’s abdominals were pulled tight and his head fell back with a moan.   Steve leaned forward and captured Bucky’s lips with his as he began to slowly thrust into him. The way their bodies moved against each other, in sync with what each wanted and needed.  The way their muscles flexed and released. The sounds they made and the expressions on their faces, add to your own pleasure you brought forth with your fingers, as you circled and teased your already sensitive clit.

Steve’s hands roamed over Bucky’s body.  His fingers stroked over his throat and pinched at his nipples.  Their moans filled the room. The sounds they made only when they were together.  A little louder and in less control. You could feel another orgasm gradually building in you.

Bucky grabbed your ankle and pulled you to him. He nuzzled at your cunt and started to lick and suck at your clit.  You kept watching on as he deepened and spread the pleasure coursing through you. Your moans joined theirs, filling the room.  Bucky sucked your clit into his mouth and ran his tongue in hard deliberate motions over it as he pressed it between his lips. It was enough to set your orgasm over and you writhed with it as you came into his mouth.

Bucky lapped you up and arched back into Steve.   One of Steve’s hands moved to Bucky’s throat and the other pressed against Bucky’s stomach.  It’s like every single muscle in Bucky’s body suddenly clenched and his cock jumped. He came.  “Oh fuck.” He groaned as white ribbons of hot sticky semen spilled onto your leg.

Steve kept fucking into him.  He kissed Bucky’s throat and with one last snap of his hips, he groaned and released into Bucky’s ass.

Bucky collapsed down beside you, curling himself around you, so you’re engulfed in his large frame.  Steve went to the bathroom to collect a washcloth. He then went about cleaning you and Bucky up. He was gentle and tender, each touch full of love and care.  He disappeared to get rid of the cloth and when he returned he moved to the other side of you, pulling the blankets over the three of you and wrapping himself around you both, so that if someone was to come into the room all that would have been visible of you was the very top of your head peeking out from under Bucky’s chin.

“I love you both so much.”  You said, your voice soft and gravelly as you give yourself to the pull of sleep.

“Love you too.”  The boys said in unison.

“Only one week,”  Steve added.

“One week.”  You mumbled happily as you gave in to sleep.


	16. The Binding of Three

There were three people on this cool Autumn day all preparing to stand in front of their friends and loved ones and declare their love and commitment to each other.  It wasn’t typical. No one would argue that it was. It was, however, good and pure. Based on respect, care and most of all love. Three people who loved each other as deeply as anyone could.

Steve stood in front of the mirror in your apartment in the tower, feeling oddly calm.  He had expected nerves. This was a big deal. Especially for the guy who everyone looked at as the beacon of everything moral and virtuous.  Never in his life had he expected that one day he would not only be declaring he was going to spend his life his life with the man he had always loved.  He definitely didn’t expect to be doing that at over a century old, and at the same time declaring the same thing to a woman from a whole different New York than the one he grew up in.  A woman who was both much younger and yet the same age as him all at once. Who he loved completely.

If anyone had told him that when he was a kid, he’d have assumed they were making fun of him somehow and picked a fight with them.

It sounded crazy.  By all accounts, the mere idea should be filling him with terror.  Instead, he was calm. He was calm despite how Tony was rushing around him ordering people around.  This was exactly what he wanted. This was how it should be. He straightened his tie and smiled.

“You ready to go, Cap?”  Tony asked. “Happy’s waiting for us at the car.”

Steve nodded.  “I’ve never been more ready for anything.”

* * *

 

Bucky was a bundle of nerves fumbling with his tie in a suite in the Plaza.  The three of you had done away with the whole ‘not seeing the bride on the morning of the wedding’ due to the simple fact that Steve and Bucky slept better all of you together than alone.  You had instead woken up and gone your separate ways before breakfast. Sam had taken Bucky, Clint and Natasha to get ready together in the hotel room that your honeymoon was going to start in.

Bucky couldn’t get his metal fingers to grip the fabric on his tie properly.  He took a deep breath trying to keep calm and Sam stepped over and took over for him.

“How’re ya holding up there?”  He asked as he looped the fabric around and in and out to form the Windsor knot.

Bucky patted his chest.  “Nervous.”

“About which bit?”  Sam asked, straightening the knot and picking up Bucky’s jacket and helping him into it.

“The being in front of everyone,”  Bucky said.

Sam laughed and shook his head.   “You’re like the scariest dude I know.  Plus you stand up in front of crowds all the time.”

“Yeah I know, but Steve does all the takin’,”  Bucky explained.

“You love them right?”  Sam asked.

“Yeah, of course.”

“And you want to spend your life with them?”

Bucky nodded.  “More than anything.”

“So get up, tell them.  Then we can get drunk and eat some of that cake.  I bet it’s amazing.” Sam laughed.

Bucky took a deep breath in.  “Yeah, you’re right.”

“You ready?”   He asked.

Bucky nodded again and the group went down to their waiting car.

* * *

 

You were frazzled in your parents home in Rockford County.  The phone has been ringing constantly from venues and caterers and the people at the store making sure they had the cake at the venue on time.  You were already running late as your mother helped fasten the buttons on the back of your art deco style dress.

“Alright, done.  Now give me this.”  She said taking your phone off you and slipping it into her purse.

“Mom!”  You yelped.

“You’re not working today, miss.”  She scolded, as she straightened up the beaded, capped sleeves of the dress.  “Look at you, you look beautiful.”

“You think?”  You asked assessing yourself in the mirror.  The dress had been one of the parts that once you had the idea you knew it was perfect.  It was elegant and beautiful and while it was new, it reflected back to the era your boys had been raised in.

“I know.  Now they have to be waiting for you.  And we still have to drive there.” She said.  “So can we go?”

You nodded and took your bouquet from your sister.  It was a small ball of white and pale pink roses tied with beads and feathers.  “We can definitely go.”

* * *

 

There was a lot of fussing around you as you got out of the car at the New York Botanic Gardens.  Your hair was checked, dress smoothed out, makeup touched up.

Natasha came rushing down the path.  “There you are, Bucky is freaking.” She said.

“I’m sorry.  I’m sorry. I’m here now.”  You said as you helped your nephews straighten up giving one a bottle of bubbles and the other the cushion with the rings tied to it.

“You better get down that aisle or else he’s going to have an aneurysm.”  She said.

You took your flowers back from your sister and your group moved quickly to the courtyard where the ceremony was being held.  It had been kept small, just the Avengers and your family and some of your friends, though word has gotten out about the event and the gardens had to be closed off in and around the Garden Terrace.

Natasha rushed over to the cello players and they started up.  The song you chose was ‘Book of Love’ and you started to walk down the stone path that formed an aisle between the guest all seated in white chairs.

Steve and Bucky stood holding hands at the end, and when they saw you, they light up.  Their suits were similar, though slightly different, the greys a slightly different shade.  The flowers in their lapels both pale pink, but different species. By the time you reached them Steve has tears in his eyes.

You handed your bouquet to your sister and took Steve and Bucky’s hands in yours.

“Friends!”  Thor bellowed.  His smile rivaled Bucky’s as he clapped his large hands and surveyed the garden.  “We are all here in nature to bear witness to the joining of these three people. Three people who, despite the odds in this grand universe have found each other and know they are souls whose destiny it is to be linked.  We are but small creatures in this vast universe and to travel through it with such love is a blessing.”

He looked down at the three of you.  “Our three lovers have created their own vows.  So they shall read them out.”

Steve cleared his throat.  “I stand before you both and all our friends and family to commit to a life shared together, the three of us.  To protect, to love, and to cherish you both, every day. And to allow you both to do the same for me. To the end of the line.”

You smiled up at him and squeezed his hand before turning to Bucky.  Bucky gave a small smile as he looked between you and Steve. “I stand before you both and all our friends and family to commit to a life shared together, the three of us.  To be open and honest, to share with you and take care of you and love you both every day. And to allow you both to do the same for me. To the end of the line.”

Both Bucky and Steve turned to look at you.  Two sets of blue eyes meeting yours. Their fingers tightened around yours.  “I stand before you both and all our friends and family to commit to a life shared together, the three of us.  To help you carry your burdens, to be your safe place to land, and to keep my heart open and full for you both every day.  And to allow you both to do the same for me. To the end of the line.”

Thor pulled out a long gold ribbon and you reached out and took each other’s hands crisscrossing them over each other.  Thor began to bind your hands with the ribbon.

“Do you promise to share in each other’s pain and seek to alleviate it?”  Thor asked.

“We do.”  You replied in unison.

“And so the binding is made,”  Thor said, as a crackle of static passes over the ribbon.  “Do you promise to share in each other’s laughter and to look for the positive and brightness in each other?”

“We do.”

“And so the binding is made.”  There was another spark through the ribbon.  “Do you promise to share in each other’s burdens so that you can each grow together?”

“We do.”

“And so the binding is made.   Do you promise to share in each other’s dreams?”  Thor asked.

“We do.”  You answered.

“And so the binding is made.  Do you promise to take the heat of passion and use it to temper the strength of this union?”

“We do.”

“And so the binding is made.”  The spark that passed through the ribbon that was now completely wrapped around your hands made a crackling sound.

“As your hands are bound together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust.  This bond is not formed by these cords, but rather by the love you have for each other. For always you hold in your own hands the fate of this union.  Above you are stars and below you is earth. Like stars, your love should be a constant source of light, and like the earth, a firm foundation from which to grow.

“May these hands be blessed this day. May they always hold each other. May they have the strength to hang on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. May they remain tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love. May they build a relationship founded in love, and rich in caring. May these hands be healer, protector, shelter, and guide for each other.”  Thor said.

He unbound your hands and you each took a ring.   Steve slipped a ring on your finger, you put one around Bucky’s neck on a chain, and Bucky slid Steve’s in place.  As you do Thor spoke. “The perfect circle of the ring symbolizes eternity. The precious metal came from the ground as a rough ore and was heated and purified, shaped and polished. Something beautiful was made from raw elements. Love is like that. It comes from humble beginnings, made by imperfect beings. It is the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all.”

You took each other’s hands again, though you can’t take our eyes off each other as you stood in the small circle.

“Friends, I invite you all to congratulate these three souls now they have been joined and they seal their vows with a kiss.”

The three of you leaned in, giant smiles on your faces and kiss. It was just a silly, three-way peck of the lips, but it made you all laugh and hug.

There was no paperwork to sign, this wasn’t an official marriage ceremony, after all, so you went straight to taking photos together in the garden.  It wasn’t easy with all the paparazzi around but you still managed to take some beautiful photos in the fall foliage and the stunning conservatory.

When you got back everyone was already seated inside.  Tony was waiting at the door for the three of you. “You ready?”  He asked.

“So ready.”  You answered.

He slipped through the door and less than a minute later you heard his voice over the PA.  “Quiet down, quiet down. I know. It’s exciting. It’s not very often you get to see a couple of centenarian soldiers marry each other and a girl that makes fancy chocolates.  But here we are. We all saw it with our own eyes.” He said, there was a soft laughter that ran through everyone. “Well they’re here now, so the party can commence, please get to your feet and help me welcome the happy trio.”

There was a round of applause as the three of you entered the room hand in hand in hand.

You sat between your boys through the dinner, occasionally having people come up to congratulate you all and ask to see the rings.  After the meal came the speeches. Your dad gave one where he talked about how you’d always chosen your own path but how you always knew the right thing to do.  He said how much he loved Bucky and Steve and how he was happy to have them as part of his family.

Tony went next and made a lot of jokes about your sex life.  He talked about how much life you brought to the tower. How he was sure that the tower was going to get a lot noisier because of the future life that you were going to bring to the tower.

After Tony was Sam.  Sam spoke about meeting each of you.  How he knew right away with Steve that he had just found his new best friend, even though he was star struck.  How he wasn’t sure about Bucky after he’d stolen his steering wheel, but he’d come around to him. How he’d hoped to ask you out until Steve cock blocked him.  He then congratulated you and welcomed you to his family.

Finally, you got up to speak.  The three of you had decided just to save people from sitting and waiting forever, only one of you would speak.  It had almost seemed the natural choice that Steve would do it, and for a while, that was the way the three of you were leaning.  In the end, though you had said you wanted to do it. You got up from your chair and kissed them both before heading to the podium.

“First of all, I’d like to thank you all for coming today and sharing this with us.  We are all aware of how unconventional this is and I have had people decide they didn’t want to know me after finding out about my relationship with Steve and Bucky.  The fact that those of you here not only accept us and love us as we are, but have come to share this with us means the world to me.” You said as you gazed out over the crowd.

“It was a beautiful spring day when I met Steve and Bucky.   I was making a delivery to the Avengers Tower and got clipped by a bike messenger.  They took me upstairs and cleaned me up. A lot of the others came down and made fun of them.  Asking if I was a new stray. Telling Steve he couldn’t keep me. 

“You see Steve Rogers has a huge heart.  He sees people who are lost and alone and gathers them up and makes them a part of his family.  Only that’s not me. I knew exactly where my life was going. I loved my life. So the joke seemed like just that.  A joke that meant nothing except a way to tease Steve for having a big heart. 

In the end, instead of him collecting me up, I collected them both.  They are my boys and I love them to death. I love them with every part of me.  I love how they love me. I love how they love each other. I thank whatever force in the universe that made that bike messenger hit me that day, whether that be god or Gaia or just UPS.  I never expected this kind of life for myself, but now I have it I can’t imagine it any other way. So if you could raise your glasses with me and toast to love, because right down at its core that is what we are about.  To finding love and keeping it.” You raised your glass and the crowd did too repeating ‘to love’ before clinking glasses together and drinking.

The first dance was next.  It was not particularly feasible to do one the three of you so instead you had opted for a chain dance.  The leader of the band you hired took your hand and you took Steve’s. Steve took Bucky’s and you start to ran through the room, as you ran you collected people, Bucky took your mother’s hand, who took your father’s and so on until every single guest was up and running, holding hands and ducking in and out of each other’s arms.  Everyone was smiling and laughing and when the music stopped you were flushed and breathless.

The three of you then cut the cake.  It was one you had designed yourself, 4 tiers and chocolate.  With a piped chocolate cage surrounding chocolate fondant. Each layer was a different flavor of chocolate.   The top layer had coffee through the cake and caramelized nuts through the ganache. Then there was a layer with cherries and coconut, then one injected with a gooey salted caramel fudge and finally a marbled white and milk chocolate mud cake.

As soon as Sam bit into his piece in he moaned rather graphically.  The whole bridal table turned and looked at him.

“Do you and the cake need somewhere private, bird?”  Tony asked.

“Yes.  I think we do.”  Sam answered not phased at all and putting another piece in his mouth with a look of pure bliss on his face.

You chuckled and took a bite.  You had the salted caramel and the salt, caramel, and chocolate fill your senses, mixing together and giving you both slight sugar rush and endorphin high.

“You outdid yourself, doll,”  Bucky said, swallowing his own mouthful.

Steve leaned over and kisses your head.

There was a lot more dancing and talking and posing for photos.  By the time the three of you decided to leave you were sagging on your feet.  Because it was not an official wedding you decided against the throwing of a bouquet and instead you would give all the guests a flower from it.  You were kissed goodbye by everyone and the three of you went to the car that was waiting and your new lives together began.

* * *

 

Link [ to a cello version of their wedding song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anvRij8tft0)

  
  



	17. Finding Things to Do

The sun warmed your skin through as you lay on your daybed.  You had your eyes closed under the large round sunglasses you wore.  It was hot, peaceful and secluded. The soft lapping of water by the steps and the gentle rustle of the gazebo curtains relaxing you and sending you into a doze.

You’d been on your honeymoon for 4 days now.  The first was traveling, and the following three had been a mixture of fucking, sleeping and jet lag.  Now the boys had adjusted and they wanted to go do things. Scuba diving and snorkeling and windsurfing.  Which all sounded fun, but right now - right now you just wanted to enjoy the sun and relax.

A few drops of water landed onto your thigh and you slowly pried your eyes open so see Bucky standing over you.  He was dressed in grey and red boardshorts and nothing else. Water beaded on his skin and ran in rivulets down his chest.  He was flexing his metal arm. The plates shifted and moved as he made sure no water was getting into the delicate circuitry of his cybernetics.  His hair hung down over his face and water pooled at the ends, forming large droplets that welled and fell landing on the mattress of the daybed and your skin.

“You’re getting me wet.”  You said, pushing your sunglasses to the top of your head.

A devious smile played over his lips.  “That’s what I like to hear, doll.”

You lifted your foot and put it on his stomach in an attempt to push him away from you.  It was like pushing at a brick wall. “You know what I mean.”

“You mean like this?”  He asked and shook his head.

Water sprayed across you and you squealed loudly.  “Buck! You little shit!” He laughed loudly and collapsed down on the daybed beside you wrapping you in his arms and getting you even wetter.

“How did you even get out of the ocean so quietly?”  You asked as he started to place little kisses on your neck and along your collarbone.

“Ex-assassin.  Remember?” He said, his hand grazing over your stomach and skimming under your breast and his lips ghosting over your shoulder.

“Buck!  What’s taking you so long?”

The sound of Steve’s voice carried in from the water and Bucky sat up and looked out over the edge of the deck.  “Oh yeah.” He said. “I was coming to get you. There are rays. You should come see them They’re like weird, ocean, pancake puppies.”

You started laughing.  “What?”

“Stingrays.  Come on.” He said and scooped you up into his arms.

“Bucky, no!”  You squealed, kicking your legs.

“Bucky, yes!”  Bucky said, carrying you down the steps from your bungalow and straight into the cerulean blue of the ocean.  He dropped you into the water and you immediately splashed him.

“Cut it out, you two,”  Steve called. He’s bent over with his hands in the water and you can see dark shadows moving around him.  “You’re gonna scare them away.”

You waded out to him and saw, swimming around are about a dozen or so dinner plate sized stingrays.  They came up to him and let him touch them before another one pushed the first out of the way.

“What the hell, Steve?  What are you the ray whisperer?”  You asked as you approach.

“I told you, ocean, pancake puppies,”  Bucky replied putting his hands in the water.

You followed after him and almost immediately you were swarmed by little swimming disks.  Their skin is leathery and they seem to particularly like it when you rubbed their dorsal sides.

“I’m not sure why this is happening.  But I’m really glad it is.” You said, laughing with both of your husbands.

“Next we might convince you to go snorkeling, hey, doll?”  Bucky suggested.

After the rays became bored with you, you swam for a little while before going back up on the deck to sit in the sun.  Some food was brought to you and set in out on the table outside so the three of you could eat fresh seafood, lime and chili noodles, and mango salad as the sunset.

After that, you moved inside laying on the king-sized bed and feeding each other miniature desserts.  Small caramel pecan tarts with dark chocolate shells, the biter of the chocolate cut with the sugary sweet caramel, with that little crunch from the nuts to add texture.  Triple chocolate, ganache tarts so strong that even the tiny portions gave you that slightly high feeling, bars of chocolate with silver balls mixed into it, cake pops, and small passion fruit mousse served in hollowed out egg shells that had been painted silver.

“How are you feeling, doll?  Think tomorrow you’ll be up for doing things?”  Bucky asked.

You whined dramatically.  “Honeymoons aren’t for doing things.”

“Come on, sweetheart.  We really want to see some things.  You can’t just do nothing for two weeks.”  Steve said, trying to sound reasonable, but with a hint of pleading to his voice.

You quirked an eyebrow and dragged your teeth over your bottom lip.  “I didn’t say I’d do nothing.”

Buck leaned into you, the cool metal of his fingers danced over your stomach and his hot breath tickled your neck.  “Mmm… and who exactly do you want to do?”

“Who said it was a who?”  You teased, tickling your fingers through the scruff under his chin.

Steve circled his finger on your hip, slowly inching the thin fabric of the sheer shirt you were wearing over your bikini up.  “I don’t know, sweetheart. Seems to me that it’s only ever a who when you’re looking for something to do since the wedding.”

You wrapped your arms around Steve’s neck and pulled him into a hard kiss, teasing your tongue over his lips.  He parted them and his tongue came out to meet yours. He climbed so he’s straddling your thigh and pushed you back into the mattress pushing the shirt further up your body.

Bucky played with your hair as he moved from kissing your throat to Steve’s.   His metal hand traveled down Steve back and teased at the waistband of his boxer shorts.  Steve moaned softly, rolling his hips against your leg so you could feel the way his cock was already starting to harden.  He broke the kiss, pulling your shirt up over your head and when he leaned back in, he started kissing a trail down your body.

Where Steve’s lips once were, Bucky’s took over.  He kissed you hungrily, dancing his tongue with yours.  He carded his fingers through Steve’s hair before moving to unclasp your bikini top.  You tossed the garment aside and each man latched onto a breast. Your nipples hardened in their mouths, sending an ache through you that made your scalp prickle and a low moan bubble up from your chest.  Steve’s fingers slipped under the waistband of your bikini bottoms and he started running them up and down your folds, spreading your wet over your labia and clit. You arched up under them, digging your fingers into the mattress.

Steve released your breast and started kissing lower but you grabbed his hair.  “Wait.” You breathed. You rolled, pushing Bucky onto his back and getting on your hands and knees between his legs.

He looked down at you, his tongue just poking between his teeth.  “I am a lucky guy.” He said, his voice deep and gravelly.

You pulled his boxers down and behind you, Steve pulled down your panties.  As you lapped your tongue up Bucky’s shaft, Steve’s fingers dug into your ass cheeks and he swiped his tongue up your pussy.

A pleasant buzz traveled through you as you lowered your head down on Bucky’s cock and Steve started flicking his tongue over your clit.  Bucky’s hands went to your hair, he bunched it in his fists and started guiding you up and down on his cock. He made deep humming sounds and small moans as you swirled your tongue around and let him move your head up and down.

Behind you, Steve sucked at your folds and used his lips to nip at your clit.  He lapped his tongue wide before focussing it to a point. You started to grow fuzzy headed and your hands dug into the sheets of the bed.  Just as an orgasm started to build, Steve’s lapped up and circled his tongue over your anus. You groaned loudly around Bucky’s cock and if it weren’t for the fact he was holding your hair you may have just collapsed down.

Two of Steve’s fingers pushed inside of you and he started fucking you with them as his thumb rolled over your clit and his tongue flicked over your asshole.  You completely came apart. It was all you could focus on. You kept sucking Bucky’s cock but it was almost on autopilot. Your legs and arms trembled and shivers ran up your spine.  You came, your whole body clenching with it. Your fluids ran down Steve’s hand and he started licking them up before pulling his digits from you and offering them to Bucky.

You sat up and watched as Bucky slowly and graphically licked them clean.  He watched you with lust blown eyes and a half smile on his lips. When he released them he pulled Steve into a hard kiss.  You took their cocks in your hand and slowly pumped as you watched on.

Steve pulled away and lay back on the bed.  You turned and straddled him slowly lowering yourself on his cock.  You both hummed, contented smiles on your faces as his cock stretched and filled you.  You started to rock your hips and trailed your fingers down his chest. Behind you, Bucky grabbed the lube and started to slick his cock.

“Hello there, husband.”  You said as you look down at Steve.

“Hello there, wife,”  Steve replied, smiling up at you.  His hands traveled up your stomach and cupped your breasts.  “We seem to be missing someone.”

Bucky moved up behind you putting his chin on your shoulder and running his hands up your stomach to meet Steve’s.  “Here I am.” He teased.

You leaned back and kissed him as you continued riding Steve.  “Hello, husband.” You said when you broke the kiss.

“Hello, my lovely wife and my punk husband.  You gonna let me play too?” He asked.

You laughed and leaned forward, pushing yourself up tightly against Steve.  Steve wrapped his arms around you and you felt the cool trickle of lube between your ass cheeks.  He spread it over your asshole and then teased the head of his cock against it.

You whimpered.  “Slow, Buck.”

“You sure you want to?  We can do something else?”  He asked kissing your shoulder.

“Yeah, I want to.”  You assured him.

He very slowly eased into your ass.  It was full and tight and with Steve’s cock buried in your cunt, you felt full to breaking.  You made a sound that was a half moan, half whine. They waited patiently, letting you adjust.  Letting that pain switch and be something good. When it did, you nodded and they both started to fuck you.

Every move, every touch, every sound that was made brought you closer and closer to the edge.  You were helpless between them and you kept one hand clinging to each, your face buried in Steve’s neck as the two men kissed once more.  The heat of the room added to the heat of your bodies, making the three of you slick with sweat as your bodies moved together.

Your body seized up and you came, hard.  It consumed you, but they didn’t stop thrusting into you.  The sounds of the three of you echoed through the bungalow.  Deep guttural moans, primal grunts, loud groans, and soft hums.  You came again and a third time. Crying out their names. Until finally Bucky released filling you with his hot come.  Steve followed quickly after him moaning into your neck.

The three of you rolled onto the mattress panting.  Not even touching just lying on your backs staring at the ceiling.  “You think you can die from coming too hard?” You asked breathlessly.

“I don’t think so, sweetheart,”  Steve said, rolling onto his side and looking at you.

“We can probably keep trying if you want to find out though,”  Bucky added, running his hand up your side.

You laugh and pushed him away from you.

“How about the three of us go soak in that tub before we get some sleep?”  Steve suggested.

You nodded.  “Good idea. After all, we have snorkeling tomorrow.


	18. A First Family Christmas:  Part 1

Hand in hand in hand you made your way through the crowds that threaten to split you up.  It hadn’t really snowed yet, just the occasional stray flake that melted as soon as it hit the cobblestones.  You let yourself get pulled along by the crowd veering off to buy hot glow wine with rum, meats cooked on skewers, sandwiches made with sheep’s cheese and tomato and warm jam filled donuts.

It was your first Christmas since the wedding.  The first holiday you had spent together had just involved working up until Christmas day because it was a busy period for the store and then the actual day was spent with your parents.

This year the boys had wanted to make it special.  When the words German Christmas Markets were mentioned it didn’t take much more convincing for you to go along with their plans.  The plan was to take a Quinjet to Hannover in Germany. Stay for a week. Head back and spend Christmas Day in the Tower with the others.  Hopefully, you’d all be stocked up on cute Christmas gifts for everyone.

It had been like you’d stepped into a fairy tale.  You were staying in the middle of the Altstadt in one of the many half-timbered buildings crammed together in on cobbled streets.  In the center of the marketplatz stood the large Lutheran Church that chimed out the hours of the day. Market stalls lined the streets and filled the square selling hot food, crafts, gifts, and even artisan chocolate.  You particularly liked the people who made the chocolates look like tools. Something you’d seen before, but never perfected to the point that it was hard to tell if they were chocolate or rusted metal.

“Let’s go into the Wishing Well Forest.  Get some punch.” Steve suggested as the crowd started to swarm around you.

You ducked into the forest made up of around fifty, ten-foot fir trees that have been brought in and assembled around the square.  Inside the cover of the temporary forest, a bar had been set up. Bucky went to order the drinks while you and Steve found a table to stand at.

“Have we got everyone something now?”  Steve asked.

“I think we might have it covered.  Not sure how well we’re going to fit it all in the suitcases but we have it.”  You said. “I just hope they all like them. You guys don’t seem to be about gifts really.”

Steve laughed.   “No. Not really.  Tony is. But despite the fact he puts a hell of a lot of thought into them, he’s remarkably bad at choosing things.  One year he got Pepper a stuffed Rabbit that was over a story high.”

You started laughing.  “Why is that not surprising at all?”

Steve snaked an arm around your waist and kissed you on the crown of the head.  “So you can only really go up from Tony. Don’t worry at all.”

Bucky appeared behind you, stepping out from behind a group of revelers and putting the drinks down in front of you and making you jump.  “You have got to stop doing that.” You yelped, as he wrapped his arms around you laughing.

“Sorry, doll.  I’ll blow a whistle anytime I approach.”  He teased.

The three of you stood at the table sipping the warm eierpunsch.  It was creamy and spiced and made with eggs, similar to eggnog. It tasted exactly like Christmas, and you looked up into the fairy lights letting the rum, brandy, cinnamon, and vanilla warm you from the inside out, and make your head feel a little floaty.

Bucky’s hand tightened on your waist and you looked up at him.  “Maybe we should finish up and head back to the apartment.”

You looked around at the people near you.  The place was as full as outside and a mixture of friends out drinking and families just enjoying the markets.  A group of men was looking over at you whispering while they scowled at you.

“What did they say?”  You asked, knowing that Bucky could not only hear them but his German was fluent enough to understand what they were saying.

“I don’t really want to say it, doll.  But it’s late anyway. We have to get up and catch a plane.”  He said, looking to Steve to back him up.

Generally speaking, your relationship with Bucky and Steve was pretty low key.  You were private. No statement had been made that Captain America and the Winter Soldier were in a bisexual polyamorous committed relationship with a civilian.  You didn’t hide it either but there weren’t a lot of public appearances with the three of you and you didn’t make a big spectacle of it. It meant that you often forget that your relationship wasn’t one that many people accepted.  These little reminders always stung. The fact that people thought it was their business. That they had any right to judge. That they thought their opinion meant anything to three consenting and very happy adults.

“Yeah, we should,”  Steve said with a terse nod.

You sighed, slightly defeated.  If it were up to you, you’d fight the world for your boys.  But neither liked making waves. So you pushed the desire to rant at a bunch of bigots to the side and returned your cups to the bar before heading back out into the streets and making your way to the apartment you’d rented for your stay.

Steve lit a fire and the three of you changed into your pajamas, sat down and cuddled together.  You sat fuming, just staring at the flames while Steve and Bucky relaxed beside you. Steve leaning back into the couch, while Bucky curled into him.

“Come on, doll.  Don’t let those assholes ruin the last night we have here.”  Bucky said, rubbing his hand up and down your back.

“I just hate getting reminded that so many people suck.”  You grumbled.

“Hey, sweetheart, come here,”  Steve said. You moved so you were half lying over his lap and half over Bucky’s.  Steve pulled you in close to his chest, his hand moving up and down your side and Bucky gently caressed your thigh.  “Don’t forget, the hate is just loud. Love is quiet. Most people are good. You just hear the bad.”

You nodded very subtly.  “I know.”

Steve chuckled and tilted your chin up to him.  “How about this good. You have two men right here who love you very much.  This is our first Christmas since the ceremony. Let’s enjoy it.”

You leaned up and brought your lips to his, trying to let go of your anger in that kiss.  Your lips softly caressed his. Steve’s hands traveled up your side while Bucky’s slid higher up.   Bucky leaned toward Steve and kissed his throat and ever so slowly his fingers crept up under your slip and caressed over your panties.

You hummed and let your head fall back.  Steve and Bucky continued to kiss each other but their hands explored your body.  Steve pinched and pulled at your nipples, while Bucky’s fingers move under the waistband of your panties and stroked up and down your folds.  You wriggled on their laps, feeling the steady growth of their cocks in their boxers. Steve’s pressed against your hip while Bucky’s rubbed on your thigh leaving a stick trail of precome on your leg.

You arched and pulled your slip up over your head.  Steve and Bucky broke their kiss and looked down at you near naked form.  They both leaned in and started sucking and biting at your nipples. They hardened in their mouths and sent a dull ache through your breasts.  A need for more, that was matched every time Bucky’s fingers curled inside you and dragged over your g-spot.

You lay back, opening yourself up and just watching as they sent pleasure coursing through you.  Your legs started to tremble and you couldn’t keep quiet.

Bucky sat up and focused his fingers so they ground hard against your g-spot as he watched you.  He kissed and nuzzles at Steve’s back, but his eyes were trained on yours watching how his and Steve’s touch affected you and brought you to the edge.  “You gonna come for us, doll?” He asked, as his tongue darted over his lips.

“Oh god, Buck.”  Was all you can manage.  Steve brought his fingers to your pussy and started teasing your clit, one finger squeezed inside you next to Bucky’s and you lost any semblance of control.   Your body seized up and you came, gushing onto their hands.

You lay panting over their laps as your body settled and Steve took Bucky’s hand and licked his digits clean one by one.  You slipped from their laps and knelt in front of them, pulling down their boxers and freeing their cocks.

You started pumping the length of Bucky’s thick cock as you ran your tongue up Steve’s and then switched.  They adjusted their position so they were almost facing each other, their legs tangled together and their cocks touching.  You swirled your tongue around the heads and pulled them both into your mouth.

Bucky and Steve groaned together, their eyes trained on you.  As you pushed them further down your throat they turned to each other and kissed.  Deep moans bubbled up from inside them and are muffled and drowned out by gentle smacking of their lips as they moved against each other.

You moved up and down.  You couldn’t take them deeply, the two of their cocks together was just too thick.  But you took what you could and used your tongue to lap and curl over their lengths.  The salty tang of precome coated your tongue and their cocks jumped and throbbed in your mouth.

Steve took your chin and tilted your head up so he could kiss you and Bucky got up and left the room.  Steve slipped down onto the floor and the two of you ended up lying face to face, your leg over his hips as you kissed and the head of his cock teased your cunt.

Bucky returned with a tube of lube and settled in behind Steve, his back to the fire.  He nuzzled into the back of Steve’s neck humming contentedly as he slicked his cock. The warmth of the fire and the heat radiating from Steve’s skin made him feel safe.  He’s drawn to the warmth like a moth to a flame.

Steve placed his hands on your hips and snapped his hips up, sinking his cock deep into your cunt.  You gasped and threw your head back. As you adjusted to Steve’s cock, Bucky eased his into Steve’s ass and Steve let out a loud groan.  His hands tightened on your hips and he bit down on your shoulder.

The three of you started to move together.  Rocking your hips and thrusting against each other.  Bucky’s hand slid down Steve’s arm and teased over your skin.  There was a constant sound of moans and gasps and whimpers, as with each thrust from Bucky, Steve was pushed into you.  Steve was the first to start to lose control. The sensation of his cock buried in the heat and wet of your cunt as you clench and release your pelvic floor mixed with the tight full up feeling of Bucky fucking his ass was too much.

Bucky’s fingers move between you and he made a v shape around the base of Steve’s cock.  He massaged Steve while his thumb worked your clit, trying to bring you over as well. You cried out and your legs trembled.  It was all you could do to cling to them both as your orgasm took control of you and rocked through you. Steve let out a ragged mewling noise and his hips snapped forward.  You could feel his cock pulse as his filled you with his hot come.

Bucky continued to thrust chasing his own release.  He nuzzled into Steve’s neck and Steve leaned back capturing Bucky’s lips.  You reached over the two of them and teased your fingers over Bucky’s ass. Flicking them over his asshole.  “Fuck, oh fuck.” He groaned. He jerked forward and came. 

The three of you just lay in front of the fire, holding each other.  You dozed a little as both Bucky and Steve skimmed their fingers over your bare skin.

“Maybe we should take a quick shower and head to bed,”  Steve suggested.

Bucky hummed in agreement and you nodded your head.

* * *

Steve woke first the following morning.  It wasn’t early but the sun was yet to rise and the only light in the room was the diffused light from the outside street lights through the curtains.  He slipped out of bed and watched as you and Bucky automatically moved closer to each other, seeking out the heat and comfort of the other’s sleeping form.

He went to the window looking out of the now still market square.  A thin blanket of snow had fallen overnight covering the ground and the stalls.  For a moment he considered waking you both to see it, but instead, he closed the curtains and crawled back in with you both.  The snow would wait and today you were going home to spend Christmas with the rest of his family.


	19. A First Family Christmas: Part 2

Christmas was stressful at the best of times.  Even when your family got along really well. Even when you were completely supportive and you have each other’s backs there was still the stress of cooking for such a large group.  Having to buy and wrap presents. Making sure any children were happy. Even with everything inline and on point, there was some stress.

So when you were preparing a Christmas meal for the Avengers and your own family while still jet lagged you were in some kind of a nightmare.  Especially considering the only two who were really decent cooks of anything other than breakfast food, one had never celebrated Christmas, and the other was also jetlagged.

Your flight had arrived the day before around midday and you’d spent the day making the desserts and doing prep for the following day in the apartment you shared with Steve and Bucky.  To be fair to the boys, they had helped you. Bucky helped to prepare the few things that needed doing for the meal, while Steve had helped you decorate the dessert.

You’d ended up falling into bed around one in the morning, partially because of the work, partially because your body clock was well out of synch and you had just felt awake until then.  It meant that when the sun filled the room and pulled you reluctantly from your sleep, you were woozy and exhausted. You tried to squirm your way out from in between the two sets of large arms that currently engulfed you but your movement seemed to trigger some kind of automatic cuddle response and they both tightened their arms around you and moved closer to both you and each other.

You sighed and started placing slow kisses along Bucky’s collarbone and on the crook of his neck.  He hummed, and his arms tightened a little more, his fingers digging into your flesh as he clenched his fingers.  His eyes slowly fluttered open and he looked down at you with a smile. “Always a nice way to wake up.” He rumbled.  He leaned in and kissed you softly, his tongue skimming over the corner of your mouth. You parted your lips a little and his tongue slid over your top lip and slipped into your mouth.  He pulled back and looked down at you, his grey/blue eyes twinkling. “Merry Christmas, doll.”

You smiled up at him.  “Merry Christmas, Bear.  You need to let me out of bed so I can get started.”

Bucky shook his head and nuzzled into you.  “That doesn’t sound right. I’m pretty sure you need to have your Christmas present.”

“If my Christmas present is your dick we’re getting a divorce.”  You teased wrapping your arms around his waist and teasing your hand over his ass.

“You’re not just getting one present.”  He countered, rolling his hips against you.

You lifted the sheet and look down to see his cock, semi-hard and rubbing up against your pubic mound.  “You didn’t even put a bow on it.” You whined.

Bucky broke down into a giggling fit and behind you, Steve made a low grumble and started to stir.  “Whazgoinon?”

You reached behind you and ran your hands through his hair.  “Bucky’s just terrible at getting Christmas gifts.”

Bucky started laughing harder, leaning his head against your chest.

“I don’t…”  Steve said, confused.

You rolled over and kissed him.  “It’s fine. I really need to get up though.   You guys have some fun. I’ll see you up in the common room.”

You wriggled out from in between them and Bucky’s fingers skimmed across your skin.  “Spoilsport.”

You started with a shower and went up to the common room where you’d be cooking.  Sam was already there making eggs, bacon, and waffles. “Mornin’.” He said in greeting, a large smile on his face.

“What’s all this?”  You asked, coming up behind him and pouring yourself a coffee.

He shrugged.  “I knew you wouldn’t feed yourself and I haven’t had a proper Christmas dinner since my mom died.  I thought it was the least I can do.”

“How are you still single?”  You asked.

He laughed and nudged you.  “Two super soldiers keep cockblocking me.  But if you know anyone.”

You started your prep and when Sam was finished cooking you sat and ate with him.  The others started trickling in, grabbing their own plates and joining you. At eleven your family showed up and gifts were exchanged.  It was utter pandemonium. All of you gathered around the tree and your twin nephews started handing out presents to everyone. Paper went everywhere as people hugged and squealed and thanked each other.  Of course Tony had gone overboard with everyone. The twins received matching electric Ferraris from him. You handed out the little handmade things you’re purchased in Germany at the markets. Other highlights included the necklace with three interlocking rings in black, white and rose gold that Bucky gave you, the rooftop garden that you and Steve set up for Bucky and Clint’s gift to Natasha of a necklace with an arrow as the pendant.  When she opened it she punched him in the arm really, really hard before she put it on.

Once all the gifts were done with, you, Wanda, Bucky and your parents all went into the kitchen to cook.  You thought it was because of Wanda but the five of you worked like a well-oiled machine, cutting, putting things in the oven, taste testing, putting things on the cooktop.   The twins played loudly, running around with all their new gifts. You looked on as you stood at the bench preparing the root vegetables to go in the oven and others to boil to make mash.

Your dad came up beside you starting prep some salads.  “So, any of those on the cards for you three?” He asked, trying to play it off as casual conversation.

“Daddy!”  You yelped.  “You can’t just ask that.”

“Why not?  I’m just asking if you want them.  You know I’d never pressure you.” He replied.

You watched as your nephews settled down next to Steve as he was looking over some of his new art supplies.  Steve opened up his sketchbook to a blank page and the three of them started drawing together. “I think I want them.  But I don’t know. I have so many things.” You said, dodging the question. You knew both Steve and Bucky can hear every word you’re saying and you didn’t want them to feel any pressure to make a step they didn’t want to make.

Bucky came up behind you, wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your neck.  “I want them, in case you’re wondering.” He said to your dad. “Not in a rush, but yeah.  I’d like that.”

You leaned back and kissed him, smiling against his lips.  You looked back over at Steve with the kids. He was still focussed intently on them, listening to whatever they’re telling him and following whatever instructions they were giving, but he was a little tenser than he was before the conversation started.  Bucky looked over too and frowned. “Yeah, still not sure about Steve. But like I said, no rush. And I’m happy just as we are.”

When the food was ready everyone moved to set it out on the large row of tables that had been brought up from the cafeteria and set in red and green.  Conversation flowed easily and compliments were passed around. Most of the Avengers hadn’t celebrated Christmas like this in years if ever. Just family.  Not for show. With food and the people they loved. They were relaxed and smiling and seemed genuinely happy.

There was so much food.  With 22 of you in attendance, you’d had to go large.  Three full turkeys and two hams as well as roast beef and pork.  Mashed and roasted potatoes and yams. Stuffing, gravy, green beans, peas with mint and honeyed carrots.  Three different styles of gravy, applesauce, cranberry sauce and mint jelly all feature. That’s just the American fare.  There were also dishes that would be more regularly seen in Romania, Russia, and Sokovia.

When the meal was finished everyone turned and looked over at you expectantly.  “What?” You teased. “Did I spill something?”

“Stop tormenting them,”  Steve said. “Come on, I’ll help you bring them up.”

You followed Steve to the elevator and when the doors close he looked down at you.  “I love you, you know. You and Buck.”

You nudged him with your elbow.  “Yeah, I know, silly. You’re pretty obvious about it.  You know… proposing. The wedding. The fact you say I love you all the time.”   You teased. “If this was about the conversation with dad…”

“It is.”  He said as the elevator stops.  He sighed as he got out and stopped you at the door to the apartment engulfing you in his arms.  “I gave up on it. You need to understand that. I grew up knowing, even as the skinny guy no one looked at, that I’d get married and I’d have kids.  I never questioned it. Even though I was desperately in love with Bucky. I still knew. Then it all got taken away. My whole life. The man I loved.  The woman I loved. My family. My friends. I woke up here in this word that was so unlike the one I’d died in. I became Cap and that’s all I was.”

You leaned against his chest and circled your arms around his waist.  “You don’t have to explain, my love. You were enough. If you don’t want that, Bucky and I…”

He pressed his lips to the top of your head.  “Let me finish, okay? I need to say it.” You nodded your head and he continues.  “Then I got Bucky back. To begin with, it was a little too good to be true. He wasn’t Bucky.  Not the Bucky I knew. He was scared and broken. Fighting the other thing inside him. But it was him too.  So I didn’t think I’d get to have him, but he was here and for me that was enough. I got used to the new thing.  Me and my friend. Then slowly he started coming back. As he did we both began acknowledging these feelings we kept dismissing when we were younger.  Now it was okay for us to be together. So we let it happen. It took time. He was still healing. I never rushed it. I got used to that new thing. Bucky and I the couple.  Then we met you.”

He gave you a squeeze and looked down into your eyes.  “Each new thing I’ve had to get used to. I gave it up, and the world’s been giving it back in such an unexpected way.  And I love it. I love you. I love him. But right now I’m getting used to being the husband of a couple of troublemakers.  Can you give me that time? To adjust.”

You laughed and leaned up pecking him on the lips.  “Of course. I’m not ready either. I have my job. And I like just being us three.”

He relaxed and kissed you a little deeper.  “Thank you for understanding, sweetheart.”

The two of you went in and collected the desserts.  Along with the pumpkin, apple and pecan pies, you had made a yule log.  But given the number of people, and you being you, it wasn’t the traditional roll.  You had made a cake to look like a felled log in the forest. It was decorated with a mixture of shaved chocolate and ganache sculpted to look like tree bark.  You had mint flavored white chocolate molded and colored to look like holly leaves with small red balls of candy as the berries. Chopped pistachio was sprinkled up the side to mimic lichen and you’d made small mushrooms out of meringue that looked like they were growing out of the trunk.  The whole thing was dusted with powdered sugar to resemble snow.

It was the inside that was where you had really gone all out though.  There were layers of alternating hazelnut and chocolate sponge. Thin layers of chocolate coconut crisp for texture.  All separated by layers of chocolate mousse and vanilla creme brulee.

When you put it on the table there was a chorus of over the top ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’.  “How could we possibly even eat that?” Phil asked.

“Look if you’re not going to eat things because they look nice, you’ll never eat in this place.  She’s an artist.” Rhodey replied.

“Oh James, that’s so sweet.”  You said.

He looked up at you with a laugh.  “Can’t go letting talent pass unrecognized.  Today has been great.”

You took a knife and sliced the cake serving slices to everyone as Clint brought out coffee and tea.  You took a bite the soft, sweet chocolate mousse hits your senses first, followed by the crunch of the nuts and the soft, sponge cake.

There were moans of appreciation from around the table.  “If you two fuck this up, I’m swooping in. So watch your backs.”  Maria said, thrusting her fork in the direction of Steve and Bucky.

They started laughing and Steve reached around Natasha and patted Hill on the back.  “We better make sure she’s happy then.”

Tony lifted up his coffee cup.  “Quick toast to the chefs. Thank you so much for today.  It’s no secret we’re all a big hot mess here. It’s kinda nice to actually realize that … well, you know.”

“Family?”  You suggested.

He shook his head.  “That doesn’t sound right.”

That night you got back to your apartment and passed out on the bed still in your clothes.  Bucky and Steve helped undress you and put you under the covers of the bed before Bucky curled in against you and quickly drifted off too.  Steve took a little longer to get to sleep. His mind raced, going over his life, the relationship he had with you and Bucky. How good it felt spending Christmas with all these people he loved.

He pressed a kiss to first Bucky’s brow, and then to the top of your head before closing his eyes.  He drifted off to sleep with the thought of family and how it might be time to open up to the idea of adding to it.


	20. Practice Makes Perfect

Steve ran through the park.  It was part of his regular morning routine since he’d gotten Bucky back.  Get up, meet Sam in the lobby and go for several of circuits around the park while Sam did one or two.  They did that even after it became something that the paparazzi keyed into and would start stalking them around the park.  They did it even when fans would stop them for photos and autographs.  They did it in rain and snow and on sweltering hot days even though Sam would complain the whole time

When Bucky and he started exploring the romantic side of their relationship, Steve would stop at a deli and buy coffee and bagels and wake Bucky with them and the two of them would eat together in bed before Steve had to become the Captain for the day.

When you had moved in the tradition changed slightly.  He still stopped for coffee with Sam but he’d come home empty-handed to an apartment that smelled like freshly baked bread, bacon, and coffee and was filled with the sounds of you and Bucky cooking together.

That’s how it had been for the past three years.  Things had changed a lot around the tower.  There were new Avengers.  Tony had retired as Iron Man.  In fact a year ago he and Pepper had adopted a son together.  His name was Edwin.  Sam had been seeing someone regularly for the past year.  Bruce had rekindled a relationship with a woman named Betty and they were now engaged.  Your one chocolate store had become three.  With a location in Vegas and one in LA.  There was talk of opening one in Florida next.  The world had needed saving once and there had been countless smaller missions.

The morning run had stayed the same.  Steve felt as comfortable and relaxed as someone with the level of responsibility could feel.  He was still hopelessly in love with two people. He was happy.  Really happy.

He was also starting to become clucky.  It had started with the birth of Edwin.  He loved being uncle Steve.  He loved when he got the chance to hold that small boy and inhale the new baby scent.  He has loved watching how nervous you were when you were offered to hold him.  How you seemed sure you would drop him or squash his head.  Most of all he loved how Bucky seemed to be a complete natural.  How he could hold the infant and be both confident and completely delicate.  How Edwin held his metal fingers just the same as he held his flesh ones.  How they would look into each other’s eyes until Edwin’s eyelids grew heavy and he’d fall asleep.

Now he seemed to notice babies everywhere.  In prams and carriers.  Being breastfed by mother’s as they sat talking and taking in the morning sun.  Being carried by their dads.  Crying that weak baby cry to let their parents know they’re overtired.  The more he noticed the more he thought that yes, this is something he wanted and that maybe the time for waiting was over.

He spotted Sam sitting under a tree drinking water and he strolled over.

“One of these days I’m not even gonna bother trying to keep up,”  Sam said holding out his hand.  Steve grabbed it and pulled his friend to his feet.  “Uh Oh, you look like you’ve come to some big decision.  It’s not work related I hope.”

Steve chuckled.  “How are you so good at reading me?”

Sam clapped Steve on the back as they began the walk to the Subway.  “Profiling is part of my job description, remember?  Plus how long have I known you now?”

“It’s been a while.”  Steve agreed.  “It’s not work-related.  It’s not bad either.”

“Spill it, Cap,”  Sam said.

Steve shoved his hand in his pockets and hunched himself over a little.  “They’re not going to like the fact I told you first.  But I’ve been thinking about kids a lot lately.”

A broad grin spread across Sam’s face and he put his arm around Steve’s shoulder.  “Congratulations, man.  That’s great news.  You are going to be an amazing dad.”

“You think so?  I can see them just taking so naturally to it, but I just keep thinking I am going to really screw it up.”  Steve said.

“Are you kidding me, Cap?  You’re basically a dad already.  Just need the kids.”  Sam reassured him.

Steve felt himself relax a little and watched as a family walked by pushing a newborn in a pram.  A smile slowly crept over his features.  It was time.

* * *

You and Bucky moved around each other in the kitchen.  Bucky was now working on the coffee while you put the finishing touches on the chocolate and mixed berry crepes you had prepared.  It was a much more decadent breakfast than you normally would make but the three of you had the day off, and with the new stores and missions it had been two months since it had aligned that all three of you were off together, you thought you’d make is special.

Steve stepped through the door came up behind Bucky, kissing his neck before doing the same to you.  “This looks amazing, sweetheart.  Thank you.”  He said and made his way to the bathroom to clean up.  You set everything out on the table and you were just sitting down Steve came back out and sat down with you.

“What’s the special occasion?”  He asked, pulling his chair into the table.

“Nothing.  It’s just been such a long time since the three of us were off together.”  You explained. “Thought that I’d make something special.”

Steve took a bite of the crepe and smiled.  “It’s amazing as always.”

You took a bite and chewed.  The bitter of the chocolate and the acid from the berries mixed with the sweet and highlighted but the creamy texture of the mascarpone.  You chewed slowly, savoring it as you watch Bucky and Steve enjoying theirs.

“I’ve got something I wanted to talk to you both about,”  Steve said, straightening up a little.

Bucky looked over at him, his eyebrows knitted and his mouth full of foods. “What’s up?”

Steve ran his hand over the back of his head and looked from you to Bucky.  “Lately I’ve been thinking.  Everything’s been going really well.  I’m happy.  It’s taken me a while… too long … to realize that’s what it was.  So I was thinking,” He paused and inhaled deeply.  “If or when you’re both ready to have kids, so am I.”

You and Bucky looked at each other eyes wide and then to Steve.  “Really?”

He nodded his head and before he can even say yes you and Bucky have launched yourselves at him.  You both wrap your arms around him and nuzzle against him.  “Really?  We can start trying?”  Bucky asked.

“Yeah.  Yeah, I’m ready to do this.”  Steve said.

You and Bucky wouldn’t let Steve go, and he rubbed your back in soothing circles.  “How are we going to do this then?”   You asked.  “Work is going well.  My apprentice is just about ready to graduate.  I can hire a manager and I won’t even need to be there very much.  But what about the rest?”

Bucky sat back a little and rubbed his hands up and down yours and Steve’s thighs.  “I’d retire.  I’d be happy to retire.  Or we could both take some time off work anyway.  Make sure we didn’t go on missions together.”

Steve nodded in agreement.  “I was thinking that too.”

You gave Bucky a squeeze around the waist. “What about … well… you know…”  You stammered.  “How are we doing this?”

“What do you mean, doll?”  Bucky asked.

You take a deep breath.  “Well, are we getting pregnant?   Adopting?  If it’s getting pregnant, who’s going to be the biological father?  Are you worried about the super serum?”  You spoke quickly letting it all just spill out in a cascade of words.

Bucky and Steve looked at each other.  “I hadn’t even thought about the serum.  Would that be bad?  If they were half super soldier?”

You shook your head.  “I don’t know.  Would it be?”

They looked at each other and then at you.  The three of you laughed.  "I guess we can get Bruce to run some tests,”  Steve suggested.

“I actually don’t care who the dad is.  Biologically that is.  Cause it will be me and Steve no matter what.”  Bucky added.  “I always had this thing in my head that maybe one day you’d stop taking your birth control and you’d get pregnant.  And maybe we’d never know who’s kid they biologically were.  Maybe we’d have a few.  But even if we do adopt or you go find a donor, they’re gonna be my kids.”

You leaned in and kissed him.  “I love you so much, you big sap,”  You said.

“Hey, don’t let that get out.  I have a reputation you know?”  He teased.

“Did you have any preferences, sweetheart?”  Steve asked.

You looked up at him and chewed your bottom lip.  “Pretty much what Bucky said.  I didn’t know if you’d get weirdly territorial out of nowhere though.”

Steve shook his head.  “So little faith.”  His hand trailed down into the waistband of your pants.  “I like that too.  We’ll get the genetic tests run, and then if it’s all fine, we’ll do this.  In the meantime, how about we go get in some practice?”

You smirked at him and smacked his upper arm.  “Steven Grant Rogers.  How unusually forward of you.”  You leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth.  “And I love it.”

He smiled and scooped you up and tossed you over his shoulder while you squealed and kicked your legs.  “Steve!”  You yelped.

“I think you’re in trouble now, doll.”  Bucky teased as he followed the two of you.

Steve dropped you onto the bed and you quickly unfastened his pants.  Bucky came up behind him and pulled his shirt off before the two of them kissed.  It was deep and passionate, their tongues circled each other and their hands roamed over each other’s bodies.  You started to unfasten Bucky’s pants and as you did, Steve grabbed the neckline of Bucky’s singlet and tore it.

Bucky pulled back holding Steve at the back of the head. “Steve,”  He breathed.  “What’s gotten into you.”

“I just need you.  Was it too much?”  Steve asked.

Bucky shook his head.  “No more than that though.”  He said and the two started kissing hungrily again.

On your knees, in front of them, you watched as you worked their pants down.  Their cocks hardening as they kissed and touched each other.  You ran your tongue up Bucky’s shaft.  It jumped under your tongue and you moved to Steve repeating the process.  The men shifted a little closer together and you opened wide, taking the heads of their cocks into your mouth. You swirled your tongue around the tips and pumped their shafts.  When you gazed up at them they had stopped kissing and were now just looking at you, the pupils of their blue eyes completely lust blown.

“I don’t think that’s how you make a baby, doll?”  Bucky teased.

You pulled back and licked your lips.  “No?  Well, this is practice.  Maybe you should show me.”

Steve reached down and grabbed the hem of the slip top you wore to bed and pulled it up over your head while Bucky grabbed the waistband of your pajama pants.  He yanked them down, dragging you closer to them.

Bucky leaned down and captured your lips with his while Steve started to kiss your throat.  Two hands meet at your cunt.  They ran up and down your folds meet and passing each other.  Bucky dipped two inside of you and brought them to your clit, using your own arousal as lubricant to increase your arousal more.  He circled your clit and pinched it between his metal fingers.

Steve pushed two inside of you, seeking out your g-spot.  When he touched on it, it sent a spasm through you. You let your head fall back and you moaned loudly.  Steve and Bucky used their fingers on you in tandem.  Their mouths trailed over your body, occasionally meeting to kiss only to break apart and continue along your skin.  They swirled their tongues over your nipples and sucked marks on your collarbone.

You writhed under them.  Pleasure coursed through you making you feel both fuzzy and far off and right there with them feeling just the two of them.  Your orgasm peaked and came crashing down on you. You jerked against them when it did, crying out and digging your fingers into his back.

“I don’t think that’s how you do it either?”  You teased.

Bucky pulled his fingers away and licked them clean as he went into one of the draws around the outside of your circular bed.  “You’d think we’d be better at this.”  He said pulling out the lube and slicked his cock.

Steve continued to stroke you and didn’t remove his hand until Bucky comes up beside him and started to coat his cock with the lube.  Steve offered his fingers to Bucky and you watched on as Bucky pulled Steve’s digits into his mouth and bobbed his head up and down sucking them clean.

The two men turned on you.  “Alright then, let’s see how this works,”  Steve said.

You laughed and got up pushing Steve on his back and straddling him.  You took his cock and guided it inside of you.  “I think it’s like this.”  You hummed.

Steve chuckled and pulled you down into a kiss as you began to move up and down on his cock.  Bucky moved behind you and teased his fingers up Steve’s shaft and circled them around your entrance.  You whimpered and stilled as he pressed the head of his cock against you sliding it up and down the base of Steve’s.

Steve groaned and there was a pinch and stretch as Bucky entered you.  When he was in as deeply as you could take him you all sighed and relaxed, letting your body adjust to taking both men.  Bucky’s hands tightened on his hips and he started to move.  Steve moved too, his pace slower than Bucky’s so you were being fucked in an erratic pattern.  Sometimes only one filling you, sometimes both, and sometimes neither.  You’re helpless to do anything but hold on as they fuck you, bringing you closer and closer to the edge again.

Heat coiled through you, swirling through your veins and pooling in your stomach.  Steve and Bucky moaned loudly.  Bucky kissed down your spine and leaned over you to kiss Steve.  His arm hooked around you and he teased your clit.  It was too much and you come.  Your cunt pulsed, milking them, squeezing their cocks as they continued to fuck you.  Bucky groaned and his cock twitched.  He bit into your shoulder as his hips snapped forward and he released, spilling hot, thick come inside you, coating Steve’s cock.

Steve groaned and kept moving, chasing his own release.  His head dropped back and his lips parted.  His hips jerked up and he came.

There was a moment where the three of you just stay frozen in position, panting as the last shudders of your orgasms passed through you.  Bucky slipped from within you and just flopped on his back.  You rolled off of Steve and curled between them.  “Good practice.  You think we’re ready?”  Bucky teased.

You shook your head. “Nope.  We definitely need to practice a whole lot more.”


	21. The Big News

It started with a feeling of just being slightly off.  Nothing you could pinpoint.  You didn’t feel sick, just off.  More lethargic than normal.  Slower to start in the morning.  Food wasn’t really appealing to you.  Maybe your breasts were a bit tender, maybe you just needed a new bra.

Of course, it was possible that you were just run down.  You run a business that consisted of three stores in three different states.  You were training both a manager and chocolatier to take over from you when you took maternity leave.  You were still head designer and manager of the New York Store and you managed overall operations of all three stores.  Being run down made sense.

You kept telling yourself that even though this niggling little thing in the back of your head kept saying, ‘This is it.  It’s happened.  You’re pregnant.’

It had been almost a year since Steve had come to you saying he was ready to be a dad.  It was three months of them doing extensive genetic tests to make sure that the Superserum wouldn’t have any adverse effects to any children you had.  You had now been trying to get pregnant for nine months.  You had decided for the first one to just stop taking the birth control and see what happened.  It didn’t matter to anyone of you who was the biological father of the baby, as long as there was one.  After five months, giving time for your birth control to clear out of your system and just trying not to get in your head about it, you went to see fertility specialists.

Steve and Bucky had already had the tests run, so now it was your turn.  You had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy to check out our ovaries and womb.  You have things like acidity tested and an internal ultrasound.  You had your follicles tracked to see if you were ovulating.  It turned out you had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  You had been put on Clomid and every month for a week you have to have internal ultrasounds to see if you’re ovulating.  It has now been three treatments and there wouldn’t be any more until you had to take the next step which would be either IVF or consider adoption.

So you told yourself it’s stress.  That you were run down.  Because every other small hope you’ve had that this time it has worked has been met with disappointment and you didn’t think you could take it again.

You pushed through. When you were a day late with your period you told yourself that that was probably the stress too.  Those things got messed up all the time.  Three days later when nausea started to bear down on you making you feel like you were going to throw up but not actually making you throw up, you started getting excited.

It was another two days before you allowed yourself to take the test.  You didn’t tell Steve or Bucky.  You were too worried it would be negative again and then you’d have to see that face they pulled when they are obviously let down but are trying to stay positive for you and each other.  It’s a particularly painful face to see Bucky wearing.   He could barely hold it, and it made him look both in pain and slightly frightening.

It was always the same thing.  Steve would rub your back and kiss you on top of the head and say.  “It’ll happen.  I know it will.”  While Bucky would give you a tight smile while his eyes looked empty.

It was breaking your heart honestly.  To begin with, every time you had sex one of them would say maybe this is it.  They’d get heartbroken every time your period came and if you were late at all they’d excitedly suggest you do a pregnancy test.  But as time passed and the invasive medical procedures started, excitement was pushed out by concern.  Concern was pushed out by worry.  The fun of everything involved with making a baby turned into dry and dull work.  A means to an end that was never going to eventuate.

So you sat on the toilet, pregnancy test in hand, your heart pounding in your chest, hoping that finally, you might have something to celebrate.  You watched as the first line appeared.  It started in the center of the line and spread out to the edges quickly turning a dark pink.  As it darkened a lighter line started to appear beside it.  You kept staring, as the line slowly grew and got a bit darker.  There was this voice in your head saying, ‘That’s not really a line.  That’s your eyes playing tricks on you.  As the line grew and darkened not even that doomsday voice could deny it.  You were pregnant.  All the work and stress and pain has paid off.  Those two pink lines meant this was it.  You were going to be a parent.

You jumped to your feet too excited to contain yourself.  In your head, you had planned out this elaborate reveal.  Given the nature of your work and how you had met Steve and Bucky little homemade treats and elaborate chocolate sculptures had featured in so many of your big life changes.  You were going to make them a gift.  Maybe a box of chocolates that spell out ‘You’re going to be a daddy’ for each of them.  They’d open it, take a moment for the message to sink in and then watch as their faces changed from confusion to understanding, to elation.

You couldn’t do it though.  There was nothing in the world that could make you hold in the excitement and pure joy you were feeling right now.  It was almost all you were.  You feel light and yet full to burst.

You rushed into the kitchen where Bucky was already finishing up breakfast.   You looked around for Steve but he wasn’t back from his run with Sam.  “Fuck.”  You cursed, looking up at the time.

“What’s wrong, doll?”  Bucky asked.  He started serving up breakfast on three plates.

You shook your head.  “Nothing.  Just.  Steve.”  

Bucky put his hand to his chest in mock offense.  “I’m not good enough for you?  I’m wounded.  You’ve really hurt me, dah’lin.”

“Okay, jerk.”  You teased, giving him a shove.  You picked up the plates and took them to the table.

“You want coffee?”  Bucky asked, already pouring you a cup.

“No.  I’m alright.”  You answered grinning at him.

He furrowed his brow and his head tilted to the side.  “Well, now I know something’s wrong.  Spill it.”

* * *

Steve and Sam walked down the street side by side heading toward the tower.  “We stopping for coffee?”

“Yeah, just take out though.  They’ll have made breakfast.”  Steve answered.

“Well, if someone didn’t decide to push themselves twice as hard as normal maybe we’d be back already.”  Sam teased and pushed the door to your chocolate shop open.

The store was full of the morning coffee crowd.  No one here to buy chocolate yet.  That was usually later in the morning when the tourists started hitting the streets, taking in the sights and coming to look at the Avengers Tower.  Now, it was just people stopping in to get their morning pick-me-ups on their way to work. “Hi, Steve.  Sam.”  Rachel the barista said, smiling warmly.  The way she said Sam was with a little flirtatious tease to it.  Steve and Sam made their way directly to her.  “Your usuals?”

“You know what we like,”  Sam replied, leaning on the counter.  A little half smile played over Rachel’s full lips and she leaned over the counter.  Sam met her halfway and they kissed.  It was chaste, but it lingered making Steve feel just that little bit awkward.  When Sam straightened up he started laughing.  “Well, we made Cap blush.  Our work here is done.”

Rachel laughed and started on their coffees.

“So why were you punishing yourself anyway?”  Sam asked.

Steve shrugged.   “It’s the whole trying for kids thing.  This is the last go on that drug and after that, we need to decide if we do IVF or not.  I’m not sure what our next step would be.  And I’ve started thinking that maybe that isn’t meant for me.”

Sam put a reassuring hand on Steve’s shoulder and looked into his eyes.  “There is no ‘meant to happen or not meant to happen’.  Shit happens or it doesn’t.  We just do our best to control the random chaos that ensues.  If she doesn’t get pregnant this time, well you talk about it and figure out what’s next.  But that doesn’t mean you don’t get a family.  You have a family, man.  You can add to it in a whole bunch of different ways.”

Steve stopped and thought about Sam’s words.  Rachel put the finished coffees on the counter and they picked them up, Sam stealing one more kiss.  “I guess you’re right.  It’s just been so much pressure to make it happen.  We’ve been stressed.”  Steve said as they walked out the door.

“Which you know, isn’t helping matters,”  Sam added.

“Yeah, tell me about it.”  Steve agreed.  “I’ll try and relax.”  He took the first sip of his morning coffee.  The creamy foam with just a hint of chocolate mixed with bitter and nutty coffee had a placebo-like effect on him, making him feel more awake and content despite the fact the caffeine had no actual chemical effect on his body.

“You talking to your therapist about this?”  Sam asked checking the street before ducking out across between all the cars stuck in the morning grind.

Steve shook his head and followed after him.  “No.  I will.  You’re right.”

“I usually am.”  Sam agreed.

The two men entered the tower and got on the elevator that a group of Agents and Office staff were all filing onto.  There was a handful of nods and people saying ‘Cap’ and ‘Sam’.

“And no more making me do extra laps of the park.  I’m only human, man.”  Sam complained.

Steve chuckled and patted Sam on the back.  “Alright.  You’ve got a deal.”

The elevator stopped on Steve’s floor and he got out, saying goodbye to everyone and made his way to the apartment.  He put his hand on the biometric sensor and the door clicked open.

You and Bucky were at the kitchen table.  You perched in his lap grinning and giggling as he nuzzled against your neck.  When he stepped through the door you both looked at him smiling broadly.  He could practically see you buzzing in your seat.  “What’s going on?”  He asked.

You and Bucky looked at each other and then at Steve.  “You tell him.”  You said.

Bucky shook his head.  “No, you tell him.  It’s your news.”

“How is it my news?  It’s all of our news.”  You countered.

Steve shook his head. “Can someone please tell me?”

You beamed up at him.  “Guess what?”


	22. x Two

Morning sickness wasn’t exactly fun.  No strike that.  Morning sickness was horrific.  It had started really early.  You were probably only two weeks pregnant when the first vague bouts of nausea happened.  It was before you even knew you were pregnant.  One of the first signs that you were.  You were so excited.  A sign that it had finally happened.  Then it had gotten worse.  Throwing up in the morning but it passing so that the rest of the day was fine. Then it didn’t really pass at all, you just felt off all day.  Then certain smells would trigger bouts of vomiting.  Coffee was a big one, which made going into the shop extremely difficult.  You were eating ginger pills like they were candy.

By eight weeks it was an almost constant thing that plagued you and if you only threw up twice in a day that was a good day.  Bucky and Steve took good care of you.  They got you ginger ale and saltines.  They held your hair and rubbed your back.  They did all they could, but you just wanted it to end.

After spending the morning hunched over the toilet while Bucky held a cold compress against your brow and Steve rubbed your back the three of you made your way to your first ultrasound.  Bucky rode in the back of the car with you and you rested your head on his shoulder.

It had lifted a little by the time of your appointment and you waited in the darkened room, sitting on a hospital bed waiting for the tech to come in.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?”  Steve asked as he ran his fingers over your scalp.

“Better.  Nervous.  Excited.”  You replied.

“It’s gotta be so small right now,”  Bucky said, running his hand over your stomach.  “It’s cool you can see inside there and make sure they’re okay.”

“And later you can find out if it’s a boy or a girl.”  You said putting your hand on his.

The tech stepped into the room.  “Hey, mommy.  Ready to meet your baby?”  She asked without looking up from the chart she held.  She raised her eyes and stopped dead for a second staring at Steve and then Bucky.

“Ma’am,”  Steve said, giving her a nod.

She flushed.  “Captain Rogers.”  She said.  “And uh… who’s the daddy?”

Bucky started shrinking down.  He still got in his head when he thought people were judging him.  You took his hand and he linked his fingers with yours.  “Depends what you mean.  But they both are.”

There was the very briefest of falters before a huge grin broke out on her face.  “Well alright.  Are we ready to meet your baby?”

You shifted in position while she prepared the machine.  Because of how early the ultrasound was happening it was being done internally.  Which in some ways was good because with all the morning sickness you weren’t sure you could hold down enough water to do an external.  It was less good due to the lubed wand that was about to get inserted into your vagina.

“There’s going to be a pinch.”  The tech warned before pushing it inside of you.  You winced and squeezed Bucky’s hand.  The whole time she pushed it around you kept thinking how weird it was that you could take both Bucky and Steve’s dicks in there at the same time (and they weren’t exactly small on their own) but this was really uncomfortable.

“Well, this is interesting.”  She said, holding the wand in place.

“What is it?”  Steve asked looking at the screen of grey and black blobs trying to decipher what he is seeing.

“Well, do you see this little peanut shape, it has a little flutter?”  She said circling the image with a white circle.

“Yes.”  He said looking at the screen.  “But there’s three like that.”

She chuckled and nodded her head.  “There are three like that.”  She gave the three of you a beat to try and absorb the information.  “Triplets.  You’re getting one each.”

You, Steve and Bucky just stared at the screen in dumbstruck silence.

“There a fraternal too.  Did you have IVF?”  She asked as she started taking measurements.

“Clomid.”  You answered, your voice just coming out monotone.

“That explains it.”  She said.  “You okay?  Do you need a minute?”

You shook your head.  “No.  I mean, yes.  I’m okay.  We’re okay.”

She took some more measurements and removed the wand.  “Okay.  We’re all done.   I’ll leave you to clean up.  All this will be forwarded to your OBGyn.”

She left the room and the three of you just stared at each other.  “Triplets?”  You said.

Steve and Bucky just continued to stare at you.

“Oh my god.  Doll.  I can’t believe this.”  Bucky said.

“What are we gonna do?”  You asked getting up.  “Three babies!”

Steve stood up behind you and put his hand on your hip.  “We’re gonna be fine.  We have resources.  We have family.  It’ll be hard but we can get nannies if we need to.  There’s three of us.  We’re not outnumbered.”

You put your hand on his and turned to him.  His hand went to your cheek and he leaned down and kissed you.  The gentle way where his lips just brush over yours.  The way he kissed you the first time when you thought you were just friends and you thought he was gay.  When he looks down at you he’s smiling and there is a twinkle in his blue eyes.  “We can do this.”  He whispered.

“Yeah.  We can do this.”  You agreed.

You get dressed and go upstairs and see your OBGyn.  The information comes thick and you get lost in it a little.  Expecting triplets explained away the high level of morning sickness you were experiencing.  She gave you some more recommendations for stronger over the counter nausea medication and also prescribed you something if those didn’t help.  Triplets meant high risk.  You and they would be monitored closely.  You had an appointment with a dietician to help with the increase in nutrients you needed.  There was talk of selective reduction but the thought of it was worse than the thought of having them.  You were put on complete bed rest.  You were likely to be exhausted.  Which to be fair you already were.  You would start showing any minute now and you were going to get huge.  There was a high risk of miscarriage.  There was a risk that due to the fact that they might start out-competing each other for nutrients and one or more would fail to thrive.  They would definitely be coming early and the aim was to get them to 34 weeks safely so you could have a cesarean.

By the time you got home you were feeling exhausted and stressed and you were terrified that this was going to end in heartbreak just as every failed attempt at getting pregnant in the first place was.

“Okay, sweetheart.  Let me take you to bed.”  Steve said gently as you stepped through the front door of your apartment.

You let him lead you and even help you into comfortable pajamas as Bucky went to the kitchen to make you something to eat.  When you took off your clothes you looked at yourself in the mirror.  “You think I’m showing yet?”  You asked poking out your stomach and running your hands over your belly.

“Sure when you poke out your stomach like that you are.”  He said kneeling in front of you and kissing your stomach.

“This is going to ruin my body you know?”  You said.

He ran his hands up over your ass and looked up at you from where he knelt.  “You will always be perfect to me.  Every inch of you.”

You caressed his hair.  You doubted it.  But it was still nice to hear.  He helped you step into pajama pants and you pulled on one of Bucky’s shirts from the hamper before curling into bed under the covers.

Bucky showed up with soup and tea.  You thanked him and took a spoonful of soup blowing on the spoon before putting it in your mouth.  It was a spiced tomato, but with a weirdly out of place sweetness to it.  You pull a face and look at him.

“You don’t like it?”  He asked.

“Why is it sweet like that?”

He pulled a face and swept his hair out of his eyes.  “It was the recipe you wanted to try.  The one with chocolate.”

You quickly put the bowl on your side table and just lose it laughing.  Curling yourself into a ball and falling against him.  “Oh my god!  Honey.  It’s 100% cacao not … not just regular chocolate.”  You wheezed.

“Oh no.  I’m so sorry.  I didn’t… oh god.”  He yelped.

You rubbed his stomach.  “It’s fine.  Oh god.  I needed the laugh.”

There was a knock on the bedroom door and Steve stuck his head in.  “Hey, sweetheart.  Some people are here to see you.  You okay for visitors?”

You nodded and Tony and Pepper came in holding their son, Edwin.  He was 15 months old and just the cutest little cherub you’d ever seen.

“We just heard.  Can’t do things the easy way can you?”  Tony said sitting down on the bed.  He put Edwin down and the little boy scooted up between you and Bucky and held his hands out.  Bucky picked him and tossed him in the air as the little boy squealed with delight.

“You can talk.”  You teased.

“We’ll make sure you’re well taken care of.  I know it’s risky and that you’re absolutely going to get bored.”  Pepper said.

“Well, make sure there is a full entertainment suit put in,”  Tony said.  “Plus we’ll get the experts here.  You won’t have to keep going into the hospital.”

“You don’t have to do any of that.”  You whined.

“We know that darling,”  Pepper said.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but the people in this tower… that’s all the family I have.”  Tony said.  You took his hand and squeezed it, unused to him being this open.  “And that includes you.  And soon, these three too.  So, of course, we’re going to do everything we can to make sure they get her safely.”

You lean forward and hug him and he pats your back awkwardly.  “You’re kind of a sap you know that?”

“Yeah, yeah.  Don’t rub it in.”  He joked.

“You’re our family too.”  You whispered.

He nodded and squeezed you a little tighter.  “Alright enough of that.”  He said letting you go.  “Looks like four bedrooms were the perfect amount, Cap.”

Steve laughed and patted him on the shoulder.  “Alright, you were right,”  Steve said.  Tony’s features rearranged into the perfect example of smug self-satisfaction.  “Bound to happen some time I guess.  Stopped clocks and all that.”  He added and everyone started laughing.


	23. Baby Names

Being pregnant with triplets was not exactly a cake walk.  Especially when you were such a workaholic. You were heavy and uncomfortable.  Your back ached and your stomach was swelling with the size of the babies so quickly that you felt huge and awkward, even at the 20-week mark.   Mostly you were bored. Being stuck in bed was boring.

The good news was the babies were growing even better than expected.  While the genetic tests had shown there would be no negative effects it appeared that the serum was helping with their growth and development.

Steve and Bucky were doting on you.  You were rarely left alone. While they both still worked, they tried to time it so it was one or the other that was away, not both.   It wasn’t something they normally liked doing. Going on missions alone was difficult for Bucky’s mental health. Which meant Steve stepped up to do more which left him exhausted and strained.

This time, Steve didn’t feel the need to save the world single handed.  He was letting the others take over the role of leader. Sam stepped into it naturally.  Like he’d just been patiently waiting for his turn to shine. Major Carol Danvers also stepped up too, taking over some team missions when Sam wasn’t available.

It meant the three of you could be together and excited for the three babies.  So even with all the difficulties, you were all happy and excited and together.  Today you were going to find out what you’re having.

It was a good thing that the medical unit in the tower had been upgraded to deal with pregnancy because neither Bucky or Steve was making it easy for you to get ready in time.

During your shower, Steve joined you first, followed shortly after by Bucky.  You smiled to yourself as Steve started working shampoo into your hair. “Good thing this shower is so big.”  You said leaning your head into his hands.

“Because you’re gonna get so huge?”  Bucky asked. You nodded and he started laughing.  His hands slide over your belly and he crouched down in front of you and kissed it.  “I can’t wait to see how huge you get.”

“Gee thanks, Buck.”  You teased.

Steve started rinsing the suds out of your hair.  “I’m with him, sweetheart. I can’t wait.”

“What do you think we’re having?”  Bucky asked, pressing his ear to your stomach like he was trying to hear them.  It was a conversation that had been had so many times. Sometimes you all decided it must be two girls and a boy to balance things out.  Sometimes two boys and a girl so you were all cloned. Sometimes you all thought it will be all boys so that you remained the only female in your slightly unconventional family.

You ran your hands through Bucky’s hair and look down at him.  “Won’t have to wonder much longer. So let’s hurry it up so we can find out.”

He looked up at you.  “Shower sex is a no right?”

You laughed and shook your head.  “I think it goes against the whole bed rest thing, yeah.”

“Damnit.  Well, I’m getting you later for sure.”  He said.

“You do that, Buck.”  You teased.

He smirked up at you and part of you wondered if he’ll ever stop looking at you and Steve like you both hung the stars, and how you would go back to a life where he doesn’t anymore.

After your shower, you dressed slowly and went to the medbay.  You were greeted by one of the techs who led you right into the room where the ultrasound equipment was.  You hopped up onto the bed and she fussed about you on the machine. When she finally squeezed the heated gel on your stomach the three of you were fidgeting impatiently.

She moved the wand around and everything was just a jumble.   Sometimes you saw three heads, sometimes only one baby was clear.  Sometimes it was two. You could never see all three at once clearly, but when she turned the heart rate monitor on it was so loud it made you laugh.

“I am so pleased with how well these little ones are developing.  You must be feeling good about it.” She said as she took her measurements and entered the data into the file.

“They’re really okay?   Nothing wrong with them?”  Steve asked, his hands tightening around yours.  He was always so anxious about their health. Worried that if one or more were biologically his, they will inherit his health conditions.  He also just worried about losing them. He was so used to loss he expected it around every corner.

“They’re perfect, Captain Rogers.”  The tech said smiling up at Steve. “All growing exactly as they should.”

You felt him relax and Bucky leaned his head on Steve’s shoulder.

“Alright, you’re finding out the sexes right?”  She asked.

“Yes, please.”  You replied grinning and squeezing Steve’s hand.

She moved the wand around, scrunching her face up a few times.  “Alright, so for baby number one, I am pretty sure you have a boy.  They kept putting their foot in the way, but I’m pretty sure it’s a boy.”  She said. Bucky started grinning and he patted Steve on the thigh. She moved her wand more and pressed hard into the side of your stomach.  “Baby number two is a girl. Definitely a girl.” She said.

“One of each?”  You squeaked.

She smiled at you.  “It looks that way.”  She said moving the wand again.  The third baby did not want to play along.  It kept putting its leg in the way or moving away from the wand.  “Okay. Okay, so don’t hold me to this one. But I’m going with a girl.”  She said.

You smiled up at the boys.  “So we’re all balanced?” You said.

Both men wrapped their arms around you and held you tightly.  “I can not wait to meet them,” Steve whispered into your hair.

The tech finished up her measurements and printed out a few photos of the babies.  The three of you went straight downstairs to your apartment and you went directly to the fridge, sticking the photos on the front with a magnet shaped like an arc reactor.  “What are we going to name them?” You asked as you open the fridge. You eyed off the quarter of a Belgian chocolate cake that was sitting in the fridge.

Steve came up behind you and put his hands on your shoulders.  “That is not for you. Bed rest remember. You have to watch what you eat.”

You whined and let him lead you away from it.  “You’re so mean.”

“You made the granola bars.  You can have one of them.” He said.

You groaned and grabbed one from the Tupperware container where you’d stored them.  You took a bite. It was bitter from the dark cocoa and sweet from the honey. You chewed it slowly as you went to the bedroom.

“Well you know I’d like to name a girl after my sister,”  Bucky said as he follows you to the bedroom.

You stripped off your clothes and started dressing in some comfortable pajamas.  “I am fine with Rebecca. How about you, Steve?”

Steve came up behind you as you pulled on your pajama shirt and kisses your throat.  “Rebecca sounds perfect. Would Sarah be okay for the other girl? After my ma?”

You nodded.  “Of course, honey.  Wow, this is going much easier than I expected.  Just middle names and the boy. Any ideas for the boy?”

They both looked at each other and then to you.  “We each named a girl what if you pick the name of the boy?”

You climbed into the bed and pulled the blankets up.  Bucky sat on the end of the bed and rubbed your feet as you chewed thoughtfully on the granola bar.   “I always liked the name Xander.” Both Bucky and Steve looked at each other and frowned. “No? You don’t like it?”

“It just…”  Steve started.

“No, doll.  It’s fine. You agreed to the names we suggested.”  Bucky said, cutting Steve off.

“No, no, no. We should all agree.”  You said taking another bite of your granola bar.  You didn’t say anything for a while, just enjoying the feeling of Bucky’s fingers working your arches.  “What if…” You startled and looked at your two husbands. “What if we named him after Tony. He’s been such a huge role in our lives.  He’s why we met.”

Steve smiled softly.  “Anthony? I like Anthony.”  He looked at Bucky who nodded too.

“We could go, Anthony Samuel if you like.  Sam is important to you both too.” You suggested.

“It’s perfect, doll,”  Bucky said and leaned in, rubbing his nose against yours.

You grinned at him.  “We have our names. I can’t believe it.”

“You know Tony is going to be incorrigible when he hears this don’t you?”  Steve said climbing into bed beside you and putting his arm around your shoulder.

You laughed and rub his thigh.  “He might have earned it.”


	24. Little Super Soldiers

Bucky couldn’t sleep.  He’d tried.  He’d laid quietly next to you and Steve trying to let the sounds of your breathing sooth him off to sleep too but all that had happened is he’d watched you and worried about everything going wrong tomorrow.  He’d gotten up and tried doing something soothing.  He made chamomile tea despite the fact he hated it.  When that hadn’t worked he’d switched to hot cocoa and grumbled to himself that he couldn’t get that balance between bitter and sweet that you had perfected.  His always came out too sweet and he went too heavy on the cream making it a little bit sickly.  He did drink it while trying to play video games.  They just made him frustrated and he realized he was making himself more alert not less.  He tried reading next.  When he’d realized he’d read the same sentence eight times without absorbing it, he’d left the apartment and gone to the gym and just made his way through 8 specially reinforced heavy bags.  When his muscles were screaming at him that he needed to stop and go sleep but his brain would still not keep going over the worst, he’d gone back upstairs and taken a bath, letting the hot water soothe him off.

Finally, at around 6 am he’d crawled back into bed, curled up as small as he could make his large frame against you, resting his hand on your stomach, and fell back into a fitful sleep.

When you woke later he snapped awake as soon as you shifted.  “Hey, doll.  You okay?  Feel alright?”  He asked.  The panic came through in his voice and you ran your fingers through his hair.

“I’m fine.”  You reassured him.  “Everything’s fine sweetheart.  We made it.  34 weeks and they’re all healthy and happy.  You put together a nursery.  I mean there was a lot of cursing.  I’ve never heard so much cursing, but it’s done.  We have diapers and clothes and toys.  Today we’re just gonna get the babies to go along with the accessories.”

Bucky chuckled.  “The babies to go along with the accessories?” He scoffed.  “You are such a dork.”  He nuzzled into your neck and you kissed him softly.

“Made you laugh though.  So I think it was a job well done.”  You teased.

Bucky made a quiet whining sound.  “What if something goes wrong.  It’s surgery.  Things can go wrong.”

You ran your hands in soothing circles on the small of his back.  “You do know you should be reassuring me, right?  I’m the one getting the surgery.”

He whined again.  “I’m sorry.  You’ll be okay.  Yeah, you’ll be okay.”

You chuckled and kissed his head.  “You know you survived falling off a train and losing your arm in the middle of nowhere.  In the 40s.”

“Yeah.  But I’d had super serum…”  He protested.

“So do these guys.  So chill, biddy.  Go make me some tea.”  You said.

“You’re not allowed to have anything.  Remember?”  Bucky said.

You grumbled and pulled the blankets back up.

There was a shifting behind you and Steve’s arms tightened around you for a moment and he nuzzled into your hair.   “Whaz’goin’on?”  He murmured.

“Nothing, honey.”  You replied, putting your hand on his hip.

For a moment you thought he went right back to sleep, but then he shot up suddenly and looked around.  “What time is it?  Is it time to go?”

“No.  Still time.”  You replied patting his head and trying not to laugh.  “Seriously you two.  I’m the one that’s supposed to be anxious.”

“Sorry, sweetheart,”  Steve said, kissing your neck and trailing his fingers down your arms so they broke out in goosebumps. He leaned down and kissed your extremely swollen belly.  “Hello, you three.  We’re going to meet you properly today.”

“You two should go eat and whatever.  I’m super uncomfortable and maybe if we go to the medbay early we can meet them early.”  You said.

Your boys got up, both kissing you softly and headed out to the kitchen.  You dozed for a little longer, wanting to sleep while you could.  When they came back the three of you took a shower.  The bed rest was at a serious level now.  So they supported you while you were under the water and helped you wash.  Afterward, you dressed straight into the hospital gown and Bucky and Steve wheeled you straight to the medbay.

There was a whole team of people waiting for you.  The nursing staff alone was around 10 people.  There were also five doctors along with Bruce and an anesthesiologist.  They each prepped you and went over what would happen, while Bruce talked to Steve and Bucky and got them dressed in surgical scrubs before they washed up.

With your compression socks on and your cannula in place to help deliver oxygen to you, the anesthesiologist placed the large needle in your spine to deliver your spinal anesthetic.  After that, the curtains were put up and you had a nurse sitting at your head at the left and Steve and Bucky hunched together on the right as the doctors went to work.

Steve sat holding your hand and trying to distract you.  Talking to you about random things as you lay back not really even feeling anything that was going on below your shoulders.  Bucky kept peeking around the corner to see what was happening.  You would look at his face as Steve talked about how he wished his ma could have met the kids.

“Oh god.  It’s happening!”  Bucky said, interrupting you.  There were a pinch and a strange pulling feeling on your abdomen and then the room filled with the sound of a baby crying.

“It’s a girl,”  Bucky said, a huge grin on his face.

The tiny little baby was placed on your chest and you kissed her hair, tears running down your cheeks seemingly completely out of your control.  “Hello, Rebecca,”  You said in a ragged sob.

She was whisked away by one of the doctors and two of the nurses as you started to feel that same pinch and pulling in your stomach.  Both Bucky and Steve were beaming.  “It’s our son,”  Steve said softly, as the baby started to cry weakly.

He was placed on your chest, just like Rebecca was and you kissed him too.  “Hey, Tony.  Welcome to the world.”  You whisper.

Just as quickly he’s whisked away too.  “They’re okay?”  You asked no one in particular.

“There fine.  They look really good.  But they’re premature.  So they need extra care.  You remember?”  One of the doctors answered.

You nodded and the third baby entered the word.  She was placed on your chest and you rested your cheek on her.

“Hey, Sarah.  I love you.”  You whispered.  Once again far too soon she was taken away.  “Go check on them, Steve.  Make sure they’re okay.”   You cried as you watched your daughter being taken out of the operating theater.

Steve looked from you to the door and back again.  “Sweetheart?

“Please. I need one of you to watch them.”  You pleaded.

“I’ll stay with her.  You go.”  Bucky said and Steve got up and kissed you head following his daughter out of the room.

He watched through the glass of the ICU as the doctors and nurses fussed over them.  They were so tiny and fragile looking he wondering how he would ever feel safe holding them.  They looked like they could fit in the palm of his hand.  Nasal tubes were put in along with monitors attached to their tiny bodies.  They had shots and were cleaned up.  By the time they were all safe and sound in their incubator Steve’s nerves were frayed.

A nurse popped her head out of the room and smiled at Steve.  “Would you like to come in?  Hold one of them?”

“Is that okay?”   He asked, feeling a tightening in his chest that he hadn’t felt since before the super serum.

She smiled warmly and took his arm.  “They are very healthy and strong.  We’re very pleasantly surprised.  Come meet your children.”

Steve followed her into the sterile room and washed his hands.  He looked over his three children all lying side by side touching each other.

“They’re all doing remarkably well, Captain Rogers.”  One of the pediatricians said.  “I assume it has something to do with the super serum, but their color is good, they are breathing strongly.  Their blood pressure and heart rates are fine.  You have three very healthy, just very small children.”

“How small?”  Steve asked.

“Well, the smallest is Sarah.  She’s three pounds ten ounces.  Then Anthony is next at three thirteen.”  The doctor explained, pointing to each baby.  “Your little bruiser is Rebecca she’s just shy of four pounds.  Three fifteen.  Would you like to hold her?”

Steve nodded enthusiastically, the pain in his chest changing so he felt like he was going to burst.

“Skin to skin is very good for them if you don’t mind doing that.”  The doctor explained taking the tiny infant from the incubator.  Steve took off his shirt and the baby was placed against him.  It made a tiny little squeaking sounds before quieting.

“Hey, Becca.”  He said quietly.  “I am so happy to meet you.   I never really expected to be a dad.  But boy, am I glad I am one.  It’s a bit scary this world, but me and your dad and your mom are going to protect you and love you.  You’ll always have a safe place with us.”

He pressed his lips to her head and began to hum quietly.  The door opened and he looked up to see Tony stepping into the room.   “Hey there, dad,”  Tony said.

“Hey, Uncle Tony,”  Steve replied smiling broadly.

Tony walked over to the two children in the incubator and peered into them.  “So do we get to know names yet?”  He asked.

Steve let out a soft laugh.  “Well, this here is Rebecca Kobic Barnes-Rogers.”  He said nodding to the baby in his arms.

“Kobic?”  Tony asked.

Steve shrugged.  “You’ll have to ask Buck.”  He looked over to the crib.  “In there we have Sarah Margaret.  She’s the littlest one.”

“They’re both okay naming one of your exes?”  Tony asked raising an eyebrow.

“We know who we are now, and we know where we came from.  Peggy was an important part of my life.  I wanted to honor that.”  Steve explained.

Tony put his hand on Steve’s shoulder.  “It’s a good name.  And Peggy was an amazing woman.  Now, who is this little guy?”

“That is Anthony Samuel Barnes-Rogers,”  Steve said smiling broadly at his friend.

Tony did a double take, opening his mouth and then closing again.  His eyes welled up and he turned away from Steve for a moment.  “Well, I guess if you’re gonna play favorites, I am the best choice.”  He said when he turned back.

“I knew you’d think so,”  Steve said, still smiling.

“You know, growing up I really resented you, old man,”  Tony said.  “You were like the perfect older brother I could never live up to, only you weren’t my brother and I’d never even met you.”

“I’m really sorry Howard made you feel like that.  I would never…”

Tony shook his head.  “Wasn’t your fault.  Howard was an asshole. But I am glad I got to know you.  You might not have been my brother then, but I see you as one now.”

Steve put his hand on Tony’s arm and smiled up at him.  “I kind of want to hug you right now, but …”  He nodded at the sleeping Rebecca in his arms.

“You can get me later,”  Tony said.  “Time to appreciate the quiet.  You need anything?”

“Can you check on my girl?  She should be coming out of surgery.”  Steve asked.

Tony nodded and patted Steve on the shoulder.  “Of course.”  He said and headed for the door.  “Congratulations, Steve.  You’re a dad.”

Steve smiled and went back to singing to his daughter.


	25. Welcome Home

The triplets had to stay in intensive care for a couple of weeks.  They were healthy and thriving but still very premature.  So they needed that extra help.  Clint has said they weren’t done baking.  It was an analogy you, Steve and Bucky had thought was perfect.

It hadn’t been so bad in the end.  You needed to recover from surgery.  They were close enough to see whenever you wanted.  Even if that was the middle of the night.  You weren’t feeling that stress of leaving them behind because they were just there.  You were just free to get the rest you needed to heal properly.

They were thriving though.  They did the initial drop of weight immediately after they were born, but quickly regained it and started putting on weight with their regular feedings.  They were responsive and alert and had strong heartbeats.  Out of curiosity only you had run paternity tests on them.  It had turned out Sarah and Anthony were both Bucky’s children while Rebecca was Steve’s.  You had all found it quite hilarious and when Tony found out about Anthony he teased Bucky mercilessly.  Telling him he always knew there was something special between them.

Steve and Bucky prepared carefully for the day the four of you returned to the apartment.  Not that they weren’t already ready.  The nursery was ready.  The nanny had been hired.  The groceries had been bought.  They were still nervous though.  It was one thing to go up and see them throughout the day and hold them or feed them a bottle only to hand them back to the nurses to do the hard stuff.  It was another thing all to get her to be wholly responsible for their care 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

They wanted it really badly but at the same time, they were both terrified of doing it wrong.

They also missed you.  They wanted you home in their bed.  To wake up next to you and go to sleep spooning you again.

So on the day that you were due to all be released and allowed back in the apartment, they wanted to make it special.  They spoke to the women at the chocolate shop and had them prepare a special dessert. Buck scoured recipes on the internet to find something he thought was both interesting and something you liked.

When you were finally wheeled in through the front door of the apartment, Sarah cradled in one arm and Rebecca in the other while Steve wheeled you and Bucky followed behind, holding Anthony, the whole place was spotless and the aroma of herbs, spices and things roasting filled the place.

“Hey, babies.  This is your new home.”  You said as you looked back at Steve.  The babies were still so small.  Anthony almost just fit in the palm of Steve’s hand and he looked so awkward holding him, even with the giant smile plastered on his face.

Bucky came and took the girls from your arms so you could stand up.  “You’ve been cooking.”  You said stretching your arms up over your head.  You looked at the babies who were all alert and looking around.  “I wonder how long they’ll be like that?  Should we put them down so they can kick or something?”

“That sounds like a great idea, doll,”  Bucky agreed, going to set up the up the play gym one-handed, Sarah still safely cradled in his arm.  He looked like it was something he’d done a hundred times before.  You wondered when you and Steve would look so natural.

“How are you doing that?”  You asked, gingerly putting Rebecca down on the mat.

Bucky and Steve crouched down next to you and put Anthony and Sarah on either side of her.  “I don’t know.  I thought I’d be scared to hold them.  They’re so tiny and this,”  He held out his metal hand and the plates flexed and shifted.  “I always feel like I can’t do delicate things with it.  Even though I can.  Just… that one day I’ll go to squeeze some fruit and just push my thumb through it by accident.”  He wriggled one of the toys over Sarah, watching the three of them closely as he spoke.  “Never have though.  And then I held Sarah for the first time and I could feel the warmth of her skin and how soft and fragile she was and I knew that I was okay and I could do this.”

You rubbed his arm, feeling the ridges of the metal plates under your hand.  “It might have been made as a weapon, but now it’s so you can hold and protect those babies.”

He looked up at you and grinned.  “That was so fuckin’ sappy, doll.”

“Language in front of the babies, you little shit.”  You teased and punched his arm, forgetting that it was metal for a split second until your hand hit it.  “Ow, mother fucker!”

Bucky fell on his back laughing while startling the three babies and making Anthony cry.  Steve picked him up and started to rock him.  “You two are gonna be the death of me I swear.”  He scolded.

The girls joined in the crying, first Rebecca and then Sarah and you and Bucky picked them both up again.

“Alright, you take a seat,”  Steve said to you.  “You hand over the baby.”  He added gesturing to Bucky who put Rebecca into your arms.  “I’ll go get some bottles going, and Bucky will finish off dinner.  Maybe we can get them down and have a nice meal while they sleep.”

“Alright bossy.”  You said, taking Sarah from Bucky and bouncing her while the two men disappeared.

Steve returned again with two bottles tucked under his arm and holding the other so Anthony was drinking from it.  He sat beside you and with some careful juggling all three babies all ended up with bottles and eating well.

“You’re pretty optimistic about them going to sleep while we eat.”  You whispered as you gazed down at the babies.  They were all still alert and staring up at you as their arms flailed around.

Steve hummed.  “I know.  Kari will be here in a couple of hours.  So worst comes to worst we can have her give us just that little bit more time.”

“You don’t think having a nanny is a cheat?”  You asked.

Steve laughed.  “We’re raising three super soldiers.  I sometimes wonder if one nanny is gonna be enough.   She’ll just be here for when we get overwhelmed.  I want to be present for this.”

You nodded your head, not looking up at him, just staring down at the three babies.  “We are never sleeping again are we?”

Steve shook his head. “I would say that is very unlikely.”

As the babies each finished their bottles and started looking sleepy you got up and changed them before putting them in their crib, side by side by side.  You watched them as the wriggled a little and their eyelids drooped.  Steve sang ‘Somewhere over the rainbow’ to them patting Rebecca on the tummy as they each slowly drifted off to sleep.

You managed to get through dinner with no interruptions and you relaxed back into what felt normal again.  Sitting with your husbands and just enjoying each other’s company in your home.  Bucky brought the dessert out.  German chocolate bombs filled with chocolate mousse and a coconut-pecan pudding.

“You’re spoiling me.”  You said as it was placed in front of you.

Bucky rubbed the middle of your back and smiled down at you.  “We missed you.  Besides, it has been a long time since you were allowed to eat something like this.”

You tilted your head back and Bucky leaned down and kissed you softly, his stubble tickling your lips.  As Bucky sat down you took a bite of the bomb.  You closed your eyes and just savored the blend of flavors and textures.  The bittersweet of the mouse creamy chocolate mousse, the crunch, and salt of the pecans, and the soft cake base.

“Holy shit, I missed this.”  You mumbled through your mouthful.

Bucky smirked at you.  “I missed you making sounds like that.”  He teased.

You punched him in the leg.  “Still got like four more weeks to go too, you perv.”

He started laughing.  “I’m sorry, doll.”

Steve reached over and rubbed your leg.  “Bucky and I were talking.  We decided we will wait for you.  It’s not fair if you can’t have sex and we still are.”

“Damn straight.”  You teased.

Bucky made a face at you and you poked him in the side.

“Thank you, guys.  Just like when we waited for Steve.”  You said.

“And I’m the one who always has to wait.”  Bucky joked.

“Well, I’m not even thinking about it.  So you got some waiting to do, pal.”  You said.  “For now, dessert is all you get.”

Bucky rolled his eyes.  “I guess.”

You took his hand and squeezed it.  “It’s kinda weird, isn’t it?  The whole there were no babies and now there are?  And how they couldn’t come home but now they are home?  They don’t tell you about how strange that feels, do they?  Like there’s a disconnect?”

Steve put his hand on your thigh.  “It is.  All they tell you is no sleep, poopy diapers, and breastfeeding and we really haven’t had much of that at all.  Not to mention we’ve been separated from each other.  They don’t prepare you well.  But we’re together now, and no matter what you’re feeling we won’t judge you.  You can tell us.”

Tears sprang to your eyes and he pulled you into a hug.  Bucky came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you both.  “I love you both so much.”  You whispered.

“We love you too, sweetheart,”  Steve replied.

There was the soft sound of crying through the baby monitor.  One voice was soon joined by two others and Steve and Bucky let you go.  “That was pretty good timing.”  Bucky joked getting up out of his chair.

You nodded and followed him down to the nursery to get your children.


	26. Grown-Up Time

Steve was starting to worry.  Not about the triplets.  Well, not more than he normally did.  There was always some underlying current of worry that they would get sick or injured, or someone would take them to get to him, or he wasn’t meant to be a dad.  They were fine though.  Coming up to three months old, growing well, their development was on track even for babies that weren’t so premature.

Yes, they almost never seemed to sleep at the same time.  Yes, there were times they would all start crying at once and he would feel stretched so thin that he was sure the tiniest problem would break him.  It was all worth it though.  When they smiled up at him making eye contact he knew he would die for them.  When they laughed he knew he would live for them too.

It wasn’t them he was worried about.  It was you.

You had taken to motherhood naturally.  Or that’s how he had seen it.  The doctors had said to stay aware of postpartum depression.  He was sure it wasn’t that.  You were tired definitely but you laughed freely.  You talked about the things stressing you out.  Your eyes lit up anytime the babies smiled or laughed.  If you did have postpartum, you were hiding it really well and he just didn’t see you as the kind of person who would do that.

What concerned him was, it had been three months since the babies were born and probably seven since you were last able to have sex and you still showed no interest.  Not that he couldn’t wait.  Steve would wait forever if he had to.  He liked sex because it was a connection to you and Bucky but he’d never felt he needed sex.  There were lots of other things that gave him that same connection.  You and Bucky needed it more.  You initiated frequently.  You liked to try different things.  This complete drop in libido was out of character.

If it was just that though, he’d put it on the exhaustion.  Being exhausted made people not want to do anything much except sleep.  It wasn’t just that though. You’d stop undressing in front of them too.  You locked the door when you had a shower.  Occasionally either he or Bucky would offer to be on solo baby duty so you could have a bath with the other one and just have some private intimate time together but you always said no, only really taking the offer it was given as an alone thing.

He could not work out what was wrong.  If it was something going on with you or if you just didn’t feel the same about them anymore.

* * *

The truth of the matter was that you hated your body.  Being pregnant with triplets had changed you physically.  You did want to have sex.  You wanted it really badly.  At this point, it almost felt like if you didn’t do something about it you were going to explode.

You just hated how you looked.  The massive increase in stretch marks and the way your skin sagged on your stomach.  You’d put on weight with the bed rest too, and with the kids demanding all your time, eating right and exercise was almost impossible.  You couldn’t look in the mirror anymore and if you couldn’t look at yourself, you couldn’t imagine why anyone else would want to look at you either.

The three of you were all in the living room with the triplets.  Kari was out on her day off, so it was one of those slightly more stressful days, but with the three of you home you were handling things fine.

Each baby was now on their tummies under the play gym, stretching their heads up for a moment before slumping down and making a frustrated sound.  Steve and Bucky had their attention fixed but you noticed that Bucky was poking Steve a lot.  Rubbing his butt and leaning over to kiss his neck.  The elective chastity was starting to get to him.  You could tell.

“Maybe you guys should just start having sex again without me.”  You said, unwilling to meet their eyes.

Bucky looked over at you his brows knitted.  “What?  Why, doll?”

“You need it and I feel guilty.  I don’t know when I’m gonna feel like myself again.  It feels like never right now.”  You answered, shaking your head the smallest amount.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?  I’m actually starting to worry about you.  Do you want to speak to one of the onsite therapists?”  Steve asked.

“No.  Yes.  Maybe.”  You said.  “I don’t know.  I mean.  I can watch.  Would that be something?  It’s not you or sex.  I like watching you.”

Bucky chuckled and reached over rubbing your arm.  “As much as a turn on that sounds, doll, I’m not sure it’s really what you want.”

You sighed and went to speak but Sarah started to whine about being stuck on her stomach and you flipped her onto her back.  She looked up at the three of you happily and started kicking her legs like crazy and making little squeak sounds.  “Hello, Sarah,”  Bucky said looking down at her.  “Are you excited to be on your back, huh?  You like being on your back?”

Sarah squeaked and pulled on his beard her legs pistoning wildly.

“It’s just that,”  You said turning the other two babies over onto their backs too.  “I just…”  You paused and took a deep breath.  “I can’t see how you would even want to look at me right now.  I’m disgusting.”

“Oh, sweetheart,”  Steve said coming around behind you and putting his arms around you.  “You are more beautiful and more desirable to us now than you’ve ever been.  We know you better than anyone.  We love you.  I can assure you, we both wish you’d let us see you naked again.”

“You’re just saying that because I don’t let you see me naked.”  You protested.  “It’s not pretty.  I can’t even look in a mirror anymore.”

“Didn’t you once say to us it’s what’s inside that counts?”  Bucky teased.

“That was just because Steve said my amazing geode chocolate looked like an ugly rock.”  You scoffed.

“I bet you taste just as good.”  Bucky teased.

You dropped your jaw in mock shock.  “James Buchanan Barnes!  In front of your children!”

Bucky laughed and leaned down blowing a raspberry on Anthony’s stomach.

Steve ran his hand down your side and over your stomach.  “We love you, sweetheart.  If you need time we’ll give you all of it.  But if this is you thinking that you’re doing this for us.  To save us.  That is not what you’re doing.  We want you.”

You whined.  “I do want to.  I’m really exhausted but, I am also really pent up.”

Steve ran his fingers down the side of your neck and kissed it slowly, grazing his teeth over your skin.  How about this?  Tony and Pepper have been offering to give us a night off.  We send them up for a sleepover with Kari on Saturday.  We take our time.  Have a nap.  Take a bath.  We can get dressed up and cook together.  Then if you’re feeling it…”

Your whole body tingled and a shiver ran up your spine.  “That sounds good.”

“And if you’re not feeling it you can watch me and Steve.”  Bucky teased.

* * *

Saturday came and you spent the morning with the babies.  Handing them over to Pepper and Tony had been the hardest thing you’d ever done.  You almost chickened out until Tony physically walked you to the elevator telling you they’d call you if they had any problems.

You had started with sleep.  The three of you needed it.  After that, you had taken the bath.  Steve had run it and you went in and met both he and Bucky in the bathroom as they were stripping off their clothes.  You looked at them and froze.  They were perfect.  Steve literally had a body sculpted by science.  It would be nearly impossible for a regular man to maintain what he had with no extra effort.  His muscles were thick and his skin taught showing off every one of them in detail.  There was not a single flaw on his smooth skin and his dick was large and perfect.  Even Bucky with the heavy scarring around where his metal arm was attached looked perfect.  They didn’t even look like they had aged since you met them.

Taking your clothes off right now seemed like such a mistake.  That even with all the talk about loving you for what was on the inside, it wouldn’t translate to any attraction to what was on the outside.  Steve straightened up and looked over at you.  “Sweetheart,”  He said softly as he approached you.  “If you’re not comfortable…”

“Look at you.”  You said frowning.

“I hope you didn’t fall in love with what this is because I assure you, I still feel like the tiny little asthmatic I was before the serum. Only without the breathing problems.”  Steve said.

Bucky sat down at the edge of the bath and patted his thigh.  You walked over and perched yourself on it.  He kissed the side of your neck and ran his flesh hand along your side.  “When I got my head mostly clear, and Steve and I started… this.”  He said waving his hand around.  “I had so much going on.  Every time he touched me it was like my body was having a weird disconnect.  I wasn’t used to people touching me in any way except to cause me pain.  I wasn’t used to Steve touching me like that at all.  It was a lot.  I had a lot of trouble coming to terms with it even though I knew I wanted it.  Add to that,”

He held his hand out and made the metal plates on his hand shifted around.  “I’m a monster.  That’s what I thought.  I’m a monster.  I’m not even totally human anymore.  Not just outside either.  I am a monster all the way through.  How could Steve look at me the way he did when I wasn’t the person he knew?  I was an animal trained to kill.  But he did.  He looked at me just like he did when we were kids.”

You had started to cry and you leaned back against him and pressed your face into his neck.  “But then I thought to myself, well maybe he’s blind.  Maybe he can still only see that Bucky.  I was okay with that.  I love him and if he’s blind to my flaws because he knew me before I can live with that.  Then I met you and you looked at me just like he does.  Like I’m real and I’m worthy.  And sometimes, doll, sometimes I still don’t feel it.  But when you look at me I almost don’t need to feel it.”

Steve came and sat down beside you and kissed Bucky before leaning his head on your shoulder.  “And sweetheart, what we are, the thing you’re seeing right now.  It’s the thing that makes us other.”  His hand rand up under your shirt and he traced his fingers over your stretch marks.  “This is what makes you real.  We fell in love with a woman that was normal and very human.  That’s who we want.”

You turned your head and kissed him.  They both held you as you did and Bucky’s lips brushed against your neck.  “I love you both so much.” You whispered when you pulled away.

“We love you too.”  They said in unison.

You stood and undressed.  Still feeling self-conscious, but as you rid yourself of your clothes they each began kissing your body.  Every part they could reach was touched or tasted.  By the time you stepped into the water, your skin was tingling and you wanted them so badly.

Now was not the time though.  Now was for relaxing and being together.  The three of you washed each other and lay in the warm water letting it soothe you and release the tension you were holding.

After the bath, you went and dressed up.  It did cause a slight resurgence of anxiety when the dress you’d chosen was much tighter than it used to be.  You did your best to squash it.  It wasn’t enough to make it go away completely but you changed clothes into a dress that was a looser fit and felt better.

When you went out into the living room both Steve and Bucky were both in three-piece suits.  Bucky in black on black while Steve had a deep blue that brought out his eyes.  You had that familiar thought whenever you saw them in suits about how they’d look better on the floor.

You had prepared fondue and when you brought it out and started the cheeses melting with the wine Steve shook his head and looked at Bucky.  “Really?”

Bucky started laughing holding his side.

“What?  Don’t you like fondue, Bucky said…”  You said, worried you’d done something wrong.

“Bucky’s a little shit.  But no, it’s fine, really.  I’ve never actually had it.”  Steve answered shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“He used to… think… it was a … euphemism.”  Bucky wheezed.

“Well, we can do the other kind of fondue after.  For now,”  You pushed the plate with chopped bread, vegetables and cured meats closer to him.

After the cheese course, you had a course of meat, seafood, vegetables and pasta cooked in a seasoned broth.  Dessert was a swirled dark and white chocolate that you had prepared cheesecake, brownie, pretzels, and fresh fruit to dip in.  In the end, Steve had really liked fondue.  Each dish was completely demolished by the three of you.  And you each would take turns feeding your favorite thing to one of the others.

The boys cleaned up and you met them in the bedroom.  They made a b-line right for you, flanking you on either side.  They kissed your throat as their hands roamed over your body.  Bucky unzipped your dress and Steve pushed it onto the floor.  They turned on each other and you helped undress them, your clothes just falling to the ground and lying scattered on the ground.  Each of you kissed and touched each other, exploring each other’s bodies like you were only now rediscovering them.

Bucky led you to the bed and lay back.  You straddled his face and leaned down running your tongue up the length of his cock as he ran his tongue up your folds.  You sucked on the head as he pulled your clit between his lips and flicked his tongue over it.  Each movement you made, he countered sending shivers up your spine and making heat coil in your cunt.

Steve kissed and ran his hands over both of you before positioning himself behind you and slowly easing his cock into your cunt.  You moaned loudly around Bucky’s cock as Steve’s stretched and filled you.   You had thought he’d feel different, that having the children would have ruined you.  But you felt just as full as you always did.  You had missed this.  Needed it without even realizing.

Steve began to thrust into you as he kissed up your spine and held one hand on your shoulder to brace himself.  Bucky held your hips as his tongue flicked between your cunt and Steve’s cock, increasing and enhancing the feeling of pleasure coursing through you.

Bucky started to roll his hips with you, gently fucking your mouth as you continued to suck.  You moaned and used your hands to tease his balls and between his legs.

A sheen of sweat clung to your skin.  Steve ran his tongue up your shoulder before biting it.  Your core muscles clenched and you dug your fingers into Bucky’s thighs as you came, his cock muffling your cries.

Steve’s hand moved down over your head and he began tugging and rolling Bucky’s balls as he continued to thrust into you a bit harder and faster than before.  Bucky sucked and bit at your clit.  Your orgasm barely even passed when another hit.  It brought Steve along with it and he snapped his hips forward as his cock emptied inside you.  Bucky made a graphic moan sound as he licked up the fluids that dripped from you.

You sucked hard on his cock, pulling slowly back and then dropping your head back down.  He thrust up with a grunt and released in hot ribbons by your throat.  You drank them down greedily until his cock had stilled and you let it fall from your mouth.

The three of you slowly moved off each other and curled up together on the bed.  “Oh god, I missed that.”  You hummed.

“Me too.”  Bucky agreed, hooking his arm around your shoulder and kissing the top of your head.

“Well give me like 10 minutes, and we can probably go again.” Steve teased.

You hummed.  “I don’t know.  I’m pretty tired and I think maybe getting the chance to catch up on sleep should be taken.”  You mused.  “So maybe only three more times.”


	27. Firsts

There had been a lot of firsts in the last year.  First breaths.  First baths.  First times rolling over.  First times crawling.  First solid foods   First steps and firsts words.

The triplets had developed quickly, particularly considering how early they had been born.  They were crawling by five months and walking by eleven.  They now said mama, dada and no.  Each first had been documented and when they happened there was not a single time when you, Steve and Bucky weren’t completely delighted.  Raising triplets was exhausting.  It felt like there was never a moment spare to just be you.  You were always someone in relation to another life.  There were nights you got no sleep.  Sometimes days would go by with just an hour here or there.  You wouldn’t change it for anything though, because each one of those firsts was a treasure.

Today was the biggest first of all.  Their first birthday.

It had been one year since they had been brought into the world.  Where the strange little family of three had doubled in size.  Invitations had been sent, party foods purchased, cakes were baked and decorated.   The party was poised at about to start but three little people didn’t seem to want to play along.

The girls, Sarah and Rebecca were both sleeping soundly.  Something that was rare and usually blissful.  You had never expected to ever wish that they would wake up before they were ready.  Yet here you were, going in to check on them every ten minutes in the hopes you’d find one of them at least with her eyes open and staring happily at the ceiling.  At this stage, even one of them waking up screaming and creating a cascading effect on the other would be acceptable.  Even with the apartment full of people and children running around screaming, they slept like the dead.

Anthony, on the other hand, was awake and overtired.  He was being emotional and needy and refused to let Bucky put him down.  He wouldn’t go to your parents or Tony who really wanted a photo with his namesake.  He wouldn’t go to Kari your nanny who had been there since you’d brought him down to the medbay on the first day.  He wouldn’t even go to you or Steve.  It was Bucky or screaming at the top of his lungs.  He kept his little face pressed against his father’s chest and anytime he ventured to peek out and he saw all the people looking at him he’d start whimpering and hide it again.

“Well, this is turning into a complete disaster.”  You complained as you arranged some finger foods on a tray to take out into the living room.

Your mother rubbed your back in a soothing circle.  “Honey, they’re one.  And there is three of them.  It was hard enough doing first birthday parties one at a time.”

“They’re missing it all.  Clint’s making balloon animals and the only one awake to see them screams anytime one gets put anywhere near him.”  You grumbled.

Your mother put her hands on your shoulders and turned you to face her.  “Darling.  This isn’t for them.  This is for you and your boys.  You got through a year.  They are healthy and happy and you’re all together.  The babies aren’t going to remember their first birthday party.  Let them sleep through it and just go sit down and relax.  You’ve earned it.”

You wrapped your arms around her and hid your face in her neck, for a moment holding back the tears of exhaustion and frustration.  Melting into the familiar comfort of your mother’s arms.  “We did do it.”  You whispered.

“That’s right you did.  Now go be with your friends and family.  You have people here who can do that.  You raised the babies and baked the cake.  That’s enough work for now.”   She said, giving you a squeeze.

You returned to the living room and collapsed down on the couch next to Steve who slung his arm around your shoulder and kissed the top of your head.  Bucky came and sat down next to you and immediately Anthony started whining and crawling up his body trying to bury himself in Bucky’s neck.  “I think we should maybe consider… and hear me out… doing Anthony’s cake and presents now because he’s going to crash and probably won’t be awake when the girls are.”

You frowned and nodded your head.  “You’re right.  We might as well.”

Steve stood up and clapped his hands.  “Okay, not the way we planned it but we’re gonna try and let Anthony open his presents and do his cake.”  He said.

There was movement in the room as people gathered things together and brought them over to you all on the couch.  A gift was put into your hand and you opened the card.  “Hey, little one.  Look it’s a present from your Auntie Nat.”  You said holding up the misshapen package.

Anthony whined and shook his head trying as hard as he could to completely disappear into Bucky’s hair.  You squeezed the present and the paper made a crinkly noise.  A little hand shot out and took it without looking up from his hiding spot.  He held the package against Bucky’s chest crinkling the paper in his tiny fist for a little while before lifting his head and looking at it.

“You wanna open it?”  Bucky asked tearing the paper a little.  Anthony grabbed the place where the paper had been torn and ripped it pulling the paper off and waving it around, a huge smile on his face.  The plush spider inside fell to the ground unnoticed.

“Well, I guess at least he likes the paper,”   Natasha said shaking her head.

You managed to get him to open three presents when his attention started waning.  You were trying to get him to open the huge box that was from Tony when the sounds of cries carried down from the bedrooms.  Steve and Kari both got up and went down to the bedroom.  When they returned they had two sleepy looking girls in their arms, both in their party dresses.

“Maybe we should do the cake now they’re all awake?”  You suggested.

Bucky scooped up Anthony from the floor.  The little boy waved a piece of wrapping paper around, hitting Bucky in the face with it.  The large group of people followed you out to the kitchen where you set the triplets up in high chairs.  Your nephews and Edwin Stark all bounced around excitedly as you got out the three matching cakes all in different colors but the same polka dot design.  You put the large brightly colored one candles on them, lit them and with the help of your mom and dad you brought them over to the high chairs singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to the babies.  They looked around unsure of why people were signing but still happy they were and Sarah started making baba sounds like she was singing along.

By the time the song was done the babies were all trying to grab the candles and handfuls of cake.

“Help them blow out the candles, boys.”  You said.

Edwin and the twins leaned over and blew the flames out and the cakes were taken away from the triplets.  A slice of each cake was cut and given to each baby and what proceeded was the messiest sugar rush you had ever witnessed.  Each cake was a different flavor sponge.  One chocolate, one strawberry, and one funfetti.  The babies ate them by the fistful, cake getting all over their faces and clothes.  It was in their hair and between their toes.  You had never seen such faces of pure, innocent bliss as they smeared buttercream all over themselves.

Steve served the cake out to everyone and you perched yourself on a stool and watched the kids as you ate your slice.   “Think they might have their mommy’s sweet tooth,”  Steve said.

You chuckled and leaned against him.  “Probably not going to have any choice in the matter the amount of chocolate I keep in the house.”

He put his arm around your shoulder and kissed the top of your head.  “We’re doing okay, right?  They seem happy.”

You nodded and looked up into his blue eyes.  “Yeah.  I think so.  We have good people to help us.”

“That is true.”  Steve agreed.  He looked over at the triplets.  Bucky was attempting to clean them up and they were leaving frosting handprints all over his clothes.  “I guess we better help clean them up.”

You grinned up at him.  “Yeah, I guess.  There’s just one little mess I need to get first.”

“Oh?”  Steve asked.

You put your finger in your own frosting and smeared it on Steve’s mouth, giggling as you did.  He chuckled and shook his head.  “Don’t ever change.”  He said and brought his lips to yours.  You ran your tongue over his lips and sucked the sugary frosting off them as you smiled into the kiss.  It was these little moments that always made you feel like you’d won some kind of lottery.  It was worth savoring them.


	28. First Day Nerves

Five years is a long time.  A lot can happen.  There were more children in the tower.  Tony and Pepper had adopted another.  A little girl they named Maria.  Wanda and Vision had twins too.  Boys.  You were pretty sure Wanda might have made them out of thin air but you felt like that was one of those things you shouldn’t ask about.  They were very cute though.  Wanda had said that one day Tommy would have the same speed powers as Pietro had had and that Billy would have her gifts.  The fact she knew that when no powers had manifested yet scared you a little too.  Her powers were scary.  She was so soft and loving though they only ever scared you in the ‘wow, the things you are capable of’ way rather than actually considering her a threat.

There were agents with children too now, and the Tower had opened up a child care center for them.

Clint and Natasha were just going along as they always had.  Clint was greying a little now and he kept talking about how he was getting too old for this shit.  He never actually quit though and had now become this mentor-like figure to anyone new in the team.  There were a lot more members of the team now.  The Avengers had become a pretty large organization with 3 different facilities.  Two in New York, the tower in the City, a bigger compound upstate, and a west coast facility.

You, Bucky and Steve were quite content.  Steve and Bucky were balancing work and home like they were professionals.  Bucky had mostly retired, only coming in for the big things and issues he took a personal interest in.  Clearing out of specific HYDRA bases.  Anything that involved someone being used as a weapon against their will.  Otherwise, he was content training and being a mostly stay at home dad.

Steve worked more but tried to make sure that neither he or Bucky were on a mission at the same time unless there was literally no other option.   When that happened you were worried about a lot more than just your husbands not coming back.

You had started dipping your toe back into work too.  You’d been drawing more designs and a couple of times a week you would go into the store and just make something that’s design had been haunting you.

The triplets were growing well.  They were little balls of endless energy that tore around your apartment causing trouble.  They had also well developed their own personalities and tastes.  You had added a dog and a cat to the family, waiting until the children were able to control their own strength.  It was extra important to make sure they wouldn’t accidentally hurt a puppy and kitten considering they had inherited their father’s strength.

Sarah was quiet and artistic.  Not that she couldn’t get into as much trouble as the others, but you were just as likely to find her hyper-focused on coloring as you were trying to coax the cat down off the fridge with cookies.  Her drawings had already progressed past the abstract brightly colored scribbles.  She spoke in a quiet soft voice unless she was very excited when it would raise in pitch and volume demanding your attention.  She was shy of strangers and usually hid behind someone’s leg if there were new people to meet.

Rebecca was loud and rambunctious.  Her hand-eye coordination was impressive for a child three times her age, never missing something thrown to her, and easily kicking balls through goals when she was taken to play at the park.  She loved to run, and balls were often confiscated from her as she kicked them down the hall.  She was constantly trying to ride the dog.

Anthony was serious and thoughtful.  He didn’t like crowds and would usually cling to one parent when he was out meeting people.  He loved his Uncle Tony and took a lot of joy in the things he invented.  He was particularly smitten in Dum-E and would follow it around giggling whenever he was around.  He also had a very strong feeling of right and wrong for a child so young.  He was the first to tell the other two off if he thought they’d pushed the boundaries too far.

All in all, things had settled down.  Sleep had been returned to you for the most part.  You were busy but you were happy and time marched forward the way it always did.  It had reached the point the triplets were supposed to start school.

It had taken a while to find a school that the three of you were happy with.  There were a lot of factors to take into account.   From the things everyone always considered when there was a choice of schools.  Did you agree with the teaching style?   What were their bullying policies?  Where did the school rank?  This was coupled with the fact that these children were the children of not only two men that were considered celebrities, but they were also public targets for terrorist organizations.  Take out Captain America’s children and you have a good chance you’re going to get exactly what you want.  There was the accepting of the poly family issue too.  Not to mention the fact these children weren’t regular children, they were super soldiers.  Any schoolyard tussle could end in a serious injury for the other party.  They were always going to be naturally more adept at sport and that was going to need to be kept in balance and not taken advantage of.

It had taken time but eventually, you had found a school you had liked.  It wasn’t too far from the tower, considered progressive and used to the children of celebrities.  With them dressed in their favorite clothes, and their bags packed (a small chocolate pencil as a reminder of home for each of them included of course) you took them as a group to school for their first day.  You weren’t sure who was more nervous, the three of you or the children.

Well, it wasn’t Rebecca, she was full of beans and pulled at Bucky’s hand straining to get in through the front gate of the school.

“Hurry, daddy!  I don’t wanna miss anything!”  She whined, straining against him like she could physically drag him into the school.

“Hold up, Becca.  We wanna take a photo of the three of you with your bags on before we go in.”  Bucky reasoned.

Rebecca huffed and stopped walking.  “Hurry up!”

Steve lifted Sarah down from his shoulders and put her next to her sister.  She looked up at him and took a shuddering breath in like she was trying not to cry.  “You’ll be fine, Sarah.  We’re not going to run off.”  Steve said.  She nodded but her bottom lip started quivering.

Anthony was clinging to your leg and you ruffled his hair.  “Come on, little one.  You wanna have a photo with your sisters?”

He looked up at you and shook his head.

“You scared of school?”  You asked.  He nodded his head and you crouched down and hugged him.  “It’s a bit scary, but you have something most people don’t have, don’t you?”

“What?”  He asked, taking a shuddering breath in.

“Two sisters to hide behind.”  You answered.  “So you think we can get a photo?”

He nodded his head and moved over to Sarah and Rebecca, hiding behind them a little and poking his head out.  Bucky got out his phone and held it up.  “Say cheese.”  He said

“Cheese.”  The three little voices said in unison.

Bucky took the photo and you each gathered up a child.  Steve and Bucky had started to draw attention.  Kids kept looking back over their shoulders as their parents ushered them inside with a whispered, ‘It’s rude to stare.’  You could feel Bucky start to shrink down because of it, attempting to not draw attention to himself.

You and Steve automatically flanked him, bringing yourselves close together, to reassure him that everything was going to be okay.  “What do you thinks going to be the bigger thing?  The poly or the soldier?”   He muttered as a mother eyed them closely pushing her son ahead of her.

“Hey, we’ve been through this, Buck.  It isn’t their business.  None of it.  If they have a problem, that’s their problem.”  Steve said, firmly.

“Until it’s their problem,”  Bucky said, nodding down at the triplets.

“Then we’ll deal with it then.  They’re happy kids.  They only know love.  Let’s just have faith in that.”  You said.

It was the orientation for the kindergarteners, so there were people and signs all guiding the new additions to where they needed to be.  Their teacher was waiting to greet you at the door.

“Hi, I’m Mariana.”  The small, bubbly latina woman said looking up at Bucky and Steve.  “I think I know who we have here.”  She crouched down to the triplets height and smiled at them warmly.  “I’m going to guess you’re Anthony.”  She said holding her hand out to your son.  He moved behind your legs and shook his head.  She didn’t flinch just looked at the girls.  “Who is Sarah?”

Sarah stepped forward a little hesitantly, took Mariana’s hand and shook it.  “Hello.”  She said, her voice barely over a whisper.

“Nice to meet you, Sarah,”  Mariana replied.  “And you must be Rebecca.”

“Yes.”  Rebecca squeaked rushing forward and shaking her teacher’s hand.

Mariana stood back up and smiled at the three of you.  “You’re welcome to stay for as little or as long as you like with them.  We do a greeting in the morning and if you’re able to stay for that, it’s nice to have the parents there.”

“We can stay for that.”  You agreed.

“Okay, do you want to try and find your tables?”  She asked the triplets.  Rebecca let out an enthusiastic yes and began dragging Bucky inside.

As the six of you explored the room, eyes closely followed you.  A small boy stepped up in front of Steve and looked up at him.  “You’re Captain America.”  He said.

Steve crouched down. “That’s right, what’s your name.”

“Hayden.”  He replied.

“Hello, Hayden.  Are you ready to learn?”  He asked.

Hayden nodded his head and Steve raised his hand for a high five.  Hayden compiled before rushing over to his mom and whispering excitedly.

“Not too many dads here.  Kinda stand out.”  Bucky whispered to you.

You took his hand and squeezed it.  “That’s because the world is backward.  Trust me the fact you’re here is earning you brownie points.  All the moms wish they were me.”

It took a little while for the triplets to settle.  Rebecca couldn’t keep still and kept dragging each of you, in turn, to see different things in the classroom.  Sarah wouldn’t let go of Steve’s hand until she saw the art supplies and decided this place wasn’t so bad after.  As expected Anthony took the longest.  He went from hiding behind your legs to wanting you to hold him, to wanting Bucky to hold him.

Mariana called the class to the reading area and parents all squished together on the couches as the kids sat in laps or on the floor in a circle.  A few of the parents including Steve had pulled up the undersized plastic chairs.  He looked so ridiculous perching on it, his legs pulled right up against him.  You kept laughing every time you looked over at him.

The introductions started with each person, child and parent saying their name and something about themselves.  Elise was five and she had a dog named Cupcake.  Her mom Jennifer liked to do yoga.  Jacob had two older brothers.  His mom worked at a magazine.  It reached your group and Rebecca was first to speak.

“My name is Becca Barnes-Rogers,”  She said clearly.  “I have a dog and a cat and I like to play soccer.”

She looked up at you and you took over.  “Hello, I’m Becca, Tony and Sarah’s mom.  I make chocolates.”

Sarah spoke up next a little quieter than her sister.  “I’m Sarah.  I like to draw.”

“I’m Steve, I’m Becca, Sarah and Tony’s dad and I also like to draw,”  Steve added.

There was a shared giggle around the room as the children who had expected him to say he was Captain America.

Anthony looked up at Steve who nodded and patted his back.  “I’m Tony.  I have the same name as my uncle.”

“Is your uncle Tony Stark?”  One little girl asked excitedly.

“Yeah!  Yeah, he is!  He has all these robots.”  Anthony answered just as excitedly.

The room erupted into chaos as the kids all started chattering about Iron Man and robots and aliens, Bucky looked over at Steve with his eyebrows raised and Steve shrugged.

“Alright, alright.  There are still other people who need to talk.  We can talk about robots later if everyone would like.”   Mariana said, clapping her hands.

The children settled and everyone’s eyes turned to Bucky.  “I’m Bucky Barnes and I’m Sarah, Rebecca and Tony’s, dad.”  He started before swallowing and taking a deep breath in.  You took his hand and squeezed it.  “And I really like robots too.”

The introductions moved around and then Mariana led them through a song.  After that, the kids moved to their tables and the ones who were more confident said goodbye to their parents.  You, Bucky and Steve knelt down and looked at the triplets.  “You three going to be okay,”  Steve asked.

“Yes, daddy.”  They all chimed.

“Okay then, kisses goodbye,”  Bucky said.

You each hugged and kissed them goodbye and headed out into the hall.  “You think they’re going to be okay?”  Bucky asked looking back over his shoulder as you made your way out of the school.

“Yeah, I’m sure they will,”  Steve said, putting his arm around Bucky’s waist.

Bucky looked at him and smiled.  “Look at you with the PDA.”

Steve shrugged.  “It happens sometimes.”

Bucky leaned in and pecked him.   “Alright, the way I see it, we have two options here.  Daytime drinking or we start practicing making more.”

“Daytime drinking it is!”  You said and Bucky and Steve started laughing.  “You can explain why I’m picking them up drunk though.”

“You got it, doll,”  Bucky said and took one last look over his shoulder before heading out into the street.


	29. Loss

The first thing that she noticed was the weird puckering on the underside of her breast when she glimpsed it in the mirror.  She felt around and while her fingers could feel the lump her mind screamed at her that that can’t be what it is.  Cancer was something that affected other people.  Even still, she went to the doctor.  Not telling anyone her concern in case they got worried.  There was obviously no reason to be worried.  She couldn’t possibly have cancer.

Except that she did.  The lump was scanned and biopsied.  It was cancer.  It was a lump though and with any luck cutting it out would be the end of it.  The worst-case scenario was she would have a mastectomy and really, losing a breast was not nearly as bad as not getting to see her grandkids grow up.  That was when she had told you.  A simple, I have breast cancer, but don’t worry surgery was all she needed.  Everything would be okay.

Only it wasn’t just her breast.  It was in her bones.  It had reached her lymph nodes.  Stage four inoperable cancer where the best you can hope for is that you can handle being sick on chemotherapy long enough to last out two years.

She did her best.  She hated that people worried about her.  She hated that more than she hated losing her hair and throwing up.  She made it 19 months.  Not even the full two years promised.

That’s how, at 9 years old, the triplets lost the only grandmother they had ever known.

When the phone rang in the middle of the night and Bucky watched you take it.  Answering questions in a choked monotone.  Thanking them for calling.  It broke his heart and he put his hand on your hip in a hope it would ground you.  You’d turned to look at him and broken down in tears.  He had wrapped you in his arms and held you as Steve spooned you from behind as you’d cried yourself to sleep.

Over the next week, he and Steve watched on as you seemed to just start running on autopilot.  Moving through the world in a constant state of activity like you were scared that if you stopped for even a second, you would fall apart.  You kept going to work even though the kids were all allowed to stay home and grieve.  When you weren’t at work you were home, cooking meals for your father and delivering them.  Organizing funeral services and caskets and caterers.  You wouldn’t get out of the kitchen no matter how many times Steve or Bucky offered to cook or order in, or just take something off your hands.  Sarah stuck to your side like glue.  Partly out of her own grief but partly because she recognized the grief in you and felt a powerful urge to do something about it but she wasn’t sure what.

So you let her help you cook.  You took her to work and let her design her own chocolate creations that you helped her make.  You hugged her a lot and when you went to visit your dad she would sit with him and cuddle and talk about her Grandma until the three of you were crying again and then she’d change the subject to something else.

Bucky and Steve just felt like helpless bystanders to your grief.  Any offers to help were rejected and so they watched on and did their best to help the kids with theirs.  Neither man was a stranger to the feeling yet both being the kind who usually tried to power through it, they suddenly recognized how not stopping and mourning the things they lost might not have been the healthiest route to take.

The day of the funeral you got up early and showered feeling numb.  The day ahead seemed like something final and if you stopped to think about what it meant, you were worried you wouldn’t have the strength to go through with it.  You went and prepared breakfast for everyone, eating your own as you cooked so you could just put theirs on the table and move on.  When Steve caught your hand and looked up to you with a sad half-smile on his face you pulled away and ran to the bathroom bullying yourself into staying stoic as you showered and dressed in a simple A-line black dress.

You came back out and helped the kids get ready.  Doing the zip up on Rebecca’s dress and fixing the back of her hair.  Putting Sarah’s hair into two braids.  Helping Anthony tie his tie.

Bucky and Steve came out of the bedroom in matching black suits, Bucky had tied his hair back and shaved.  You took Sarah and Anthony’s hands and you headed down to the car.

At the funeral, your dad, brother, Bucky, Steve and two of your uncles acted as pallbearers.  Your dad was the first to speak.  He spoke of how they met.  The day he asked her to marry her.  Her face when she’d held your brother for the first time.  How she brought the best out in people and how she had raised her kids to be the best versions of themselves.  How proud she was that they followed their hearts so successfully.  How happy she was to be a grandma.

Your brother spoke next.  He spoke about how caring she was.  How she taught him to be kind first.  He spoke of how she always encouraged him to cry if he needed to.  That she let him try things and fail and was always there to catch him.  How when he met his wife she had adopted her as one of her own kids to the point that she called her mom too.  How she came and stayed with them when the twins were born.  How much they all loved her and would miss her.

Then it was your turn.  You walked up to the podium and looked out over the crowd of people there.  You cleared your throat and started to speak.  “My mom was the best mom.  I know everyone always says that but it’s true.  On days I just couldn’t go to school she called in and said I was sick.  She taught me how to deal with bullies, not so that they would stop necessarily, but so that I was strong enough to continue regardless.  She showed me by example you could be strong and soft at the same time.  You didn’t mess with my mom, but if you needed her she was always there.”

You took a breath and blinked back tears.  “I can’t have been an easy kid to accept.  I was pretty weird and the path my life took must have been scary for her.  Most parents tell their kids to have a backup plan when they follow an artistic career.  Not my mom.  She bought me pencils and markers and said go for it but if you’re going to do it don’t half-ass.

“She was there for every success and every failure.  For every bad boyfriend and broken heart.  She shared her recipes and wisdom.  She held me when it was all too much.  Then one day I brought home two men, and she didn’t even flinch.  She saw my sweet, slightly broken boys and she opened her home to them too.”  You broke down into tears and for a moment you weren’t sure if you could go on.  Sarah got up and dashed over to you.  She had tears streaming down her cheeks.  She slammed into you and buried her face in your chest.  A moment later Rebecca and Anthony had joined her and Bucky and Steve joined them, putting their hands on your hip and letting you sag into them.

“You okay?  Want us to read out what you have here?”  Steve whispered in your ear.

You shook your head and took a deep breath.  “That’s who my mom was.  Loving and accepting of people.  She would find a place in her heart for everyone she met.  She was always there when I needed her.  I could call her to tell her about anything.  From telling her I was scared I’d never get pregnant to complaining about too many husbands.  And now she’s gone and I won’t have anyone to tell that too.  I’m going to miss her every day.”

You broke down completely and Steve and Bucky led you back to your chair.  After that things were a bit of a blur.  Your sister spoke about your mom had gone on pride marches with her.  How there was never a question of her coming out.

Then she was lowered into the ground where she’d be cremated.  You had to stand in a line between your brother and sister as person after person came and said ‘sorry for your loss’ until it no longer sounded like words anymore.

You father was given an urn with her ashes and you went back to your family home for the wake.  There it was almost like you were in a grief trance.  People had bought your dad food and you just spent most of the time trying to find room in the fridge for it.

You stayed until late, all the guest finally leaving and Bucky and Steve insisted it was time to go home.  For a moment you refused.  You were worried about your dad being alone.  Only he wouldn’t be, your sister and her wife were staying with him.  They basically chased you out of the house.

You dozed off in the car, leaning against the window of the minivan while Sarah curled into your side stroking your hair.  When you finally got home, Steve kept his arm around your waist and supported you into the apartment.

“I think I’m just going to go get into bed.  Do you kids want to sleep in with us tonight?”  You asked.

They looked at each other like they were having some unspoken conversation about if it was okay for nine-year-olds to still sleep in bed with their parents.  “Yes, please,”  Rebecca said, tentatively.

“Okay, go get in your pajamas and brush your teeth.”  You said, going to do the same thing.

When you finally came out of the bathroom the big round bed was full of people all sitting around eating ice cream from the tub.  “I used to like it when she came and read to our class when we were in Kindergarten.”  Anthony was saying as you climbed into the bed.

“She read us all of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone,”  Rebecca added.

You took a spoon and picked up a tub.  It was homemade chocolate and peanut brittle and you slowly sucked the sweet milk chocolate away until there was just the crispy toffee and nuts on your tongue.

“‘Member when Uncle Tony and me made her that special vacuum robot because she said she hated to vacuum.  And then she wouldn’t stop hugging and kissing me and then she called all her friends and said how smart I was?”  Anthony said.

“Yeah.  She loved that vacuum alright.”  Steve said with a chuckle.

“Remember when she took us to see Aladdin on Broadway?” Sarah said with a hiccup.  Her eyes were bloodshot and her cheeks stained with tears.  “She sang along with all the songs.  Then after she brought us the CD but we didn’t have any way to listen to it so you just had to get download it for us.”

That little story was met with a murmur of soft laughter.

“I really liked going out with Grandma and Grandpa.  They let us eat whatever we wanted and no one bothered taking out photos.”. Rebecca said.  “Will Grandpa still take us out?”

You choked back tears and wrapped your little girl in your arms. “Yeah, he’ll still take you out.”

“I’m really worried about my dad being alone in that big house.”  You said and took another spoon of ice cream eating it a little faster this time, so it causes a slight pang of pain in your left temple.

“The apartment next door is empty again.  We could talk to Tony about him moving into it.  That is if your dad wants to.”  Steve suggested.  “I’m sure Tony won’t mind.”

You rubbed your temple, partially to relieve the pain in your head and partially to fight back the tears that are threatening again.  “What if he doesn’t want to?  What if he just ends up falling down those stairs and breaking his hip and no one notices because he’s alone.”

Bucky put his arms around you and rubbed your back, holding you close to him.  The gesture is all it took to break through the thin wall you constructed and you started weeping against him.

“Hey, let’s check first before we worry about that,”  Steve said patting your thigh.  “If he really doesn’t want to, we can work out something else.  Regular visits.  Some kind of security system.  You don’t have to worry about that.”

You shook your head hiding in Bucky’s chest.  You’d always been fine showing your kids that it was okay to be weak and need to cry and to need other people.  The three of you had wanted that for them the way your own parents had raised you just the same.  Right now you hated it.  You wanted to be strong for your kids.  You didn’t want them to see you fall apart like this.  “What am I gonna do without my mom?”  You sobbed.

You were suddenly piled on by your children, they became like a human blanket so that the only part of you not covered was the back of your head which was held in Bucky’s hand.

“I wish I knew,”  Bucky whispered, pressing his lips to the top of your head.  “I miss my mom every day and I lost her when I was just a kid.”

Steve sighed and nodded.  “I still sometimes think about how I will tell my mom about something that happened only to remember she died almost a hundred years ago.”

“We’ve all got you though, doll.  You’ve got all of us.  And your dad and your brother and sister.  You’ll never be alone.”  Bucky said softly.

Steve pressed his lips to your head and stroked your side.  “She’s always going to be a part of you sweetheart.  That’s something I promise you.  The people we lose.  They never really leave completely.”


	30. Teenagers

Steve woke early as he always did.  Expecting to have you curled in under his chin, in your customary position, with Bucky’s hand on his hip and face so close to Steve’s that every breath in was warm from the breath Bucky had just exhaled.  He’d gotten good at untangling himself from that.  It was close to 18 years now that the three of you had first slept in that particular configuration.

He hadn’t been expecting to wake up with Bucky clinging to him like an octopus.  He could disentangle himself from Bucky too.  He had been doing that since they were kids and pretending like that’s just how friends were.

He slipped free and got up, used the bathroom and put on his jogging gear.  He was just headed quietly down the hall when one of the bedroom doors opened and Rebecca popped her head out.  “Morning, daddy.”  She said, her voice still raspy from sleep.

“Morning, honey.  Happy Birthday.”  He whispered and kissed her on the cheek.  “It’s really early.  Why don’t you go back to bed?”

Rebecca scratched her head.  Today was the triplets 13th birthday.  They were officially teenagers.  He’d been watching their tastes change and develop.  The people they were going to be becoming much clearer.  They were all tall for their age.  For a little while, the girls were both taller than Anthony but his last growth spurt he’d taken the lead from them.  Steve thought, in the end, the Sarah might reach 5’10, Rebecca 6’ and Anthony might reach the 6’4 - 6’6” range but time would still tell.

“Can I come with you on your run?”  She asked.

Steve nodded a little startled.  While Rebecca was the most physically active of the three it wasn’t like her to want to get started this early either.  “If you like.  You need to hurry up.  I’ll be meeting uncle Sam soon.”

“Thank you.”  She said, a huge smile spreading over her face before she disappeared back into her room.

Steve continued his path down to the kitchen.  The light was on and he opened the door to find you covered in flour and chocolate, moving around the kitchen in a semi frenzied state as several things sat baking in the oven and she had chocolate molds and different cupcakes sitting cooling on benches.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing?”  Steve asked coming up behind you and kissing your cheek.

You paused to lean into him for a moment before going back to the things you were doing.  “Well, in about six hours there is going to be an apartment full of teens and preteens and I haven’t finished decorating Anthony’s cake.  Plus I didn’t do the cupcakes.  Sarah wanted choc au pain and Rebecca wanted chocolate-coated bacon.  I would have had it done too if I didn’t get that wedding mix up this weekend.  I only just managed to get both of those done.”

He dipped his finger in some frosting and smeared it on your chin.  You stopped and scowled at him.  “Steve!”

“Oh sorry.”  He said with a smirk.  “Here let me get that for you.”  He hooked his arm around your waist and pulled you against him.  His tongue swiped over the smear of frosting before he brought his lips to yours.  You could taste the overly sweet frosting on his lips as they coaxed yours apart and he dipped his tongue into your mouth.

Your whole body melted into him even as you groaned in frustration.

“Alright, alright,”  Steve said pulling back.  He wiped a smear of chocolate from your cheek and licked it off his finger.  “I’ll bring home breakfast, okay?”

You groaned and nodded.  “Please.  And the strongest coffee known to man.”

Rebecca burst into the kitchen, dressed in a pair of yoga pants with kittens on them, a singlet with a unicorn embossed in glitter on it and her running shoes.  “Ready, dad.”

“Alright then.  Going for our run, back in about an hour.”  Steve said, kissing you goodbye.

“Wait.  Hang on.”  You said and came over and hugged Rebecca.  “Happy birthday, teenager.”

Rebecca smiled and hugged you back hard.  “Thanks, mom.”

The two of them headed out into the hall and grabbed the elevator.  Steve turned and looked at his daughter.  “I run pretty fast, if you can’t keep up hang back with your Uncle Sam, okay?  I don’t want you getting hurt.”  She raised an eyebrow at him.  The kids were super soldiers.  Even at thirteen the chances of them actually been hurt or taken anywhere against their will was pretty low.  Steve chuckled.   “Even still.”

“Yes, dad,”  Rebecca said, a hint of sarcasm to her voice.

“Rebecca.”  Steve pushed, his time perfected dad voice put into full play.

Rebecca rolled her eyes.  “Okay.  I’ll stay with Uncle Sam if I can’t keep up.”

The elevator stopped and the two got out.  Sam was waiting for them.   He smiled widely when he saw them both.  “We got a new running partner?  Am I getting too old to keep up now, Cap?”  He came over and hugged Rebecca, kissing her on the top of the head.  “Happy birthday, princess.  You ready for your party?”

“Yeah.  It’s gonna be great.”  Rebecca said hugging her uncle.

“Who are you kidding, Sam?  You’ve never been able to keep up.”  Steve said, clapping him on the shoulder.  “Okay, Becca, before we go outside, if they ask you for photographs or autographs we’re walking and talking.  We’re on a run.  Not stopping for fans.  Okay?”

“Right, the ol’ walk with me.”  She nodded as they headed out the door.

There were a few people loitering at the door who called out to Steve and Sam but to Steve’s relief largely ignored Rebecca.

“So kiddo, you been getting fashion advice from Wade Wilson?”  Sam teased as they made their way to the Subway.

“Wade’s cool.  So what if I did?” Rebecca snarked.

Sam laughed loudly  “Holy shit, you are your father’s daughter.”

The train rolled up just after they made it to the platform and the three of them got on board and stood near the doorway.

“Dad,”  Rebecca said, not looking up at him and shifting where she stood.

Steve looked down at her and furrowed his brow.  “What is it?”

“I wanna train.  You know?  With the others.  On that team…”  Rebecca said.

Steve let out a huff.  He’d wanted to avoid this.  If he could choose a path for his children to follow, following in his and Bucky’s footsteps was the absolute last one.  “You mean Kate, Edwin, and Cassie?”

The new Avengers wasn’t really an official thing yet.  Just some kids that had followed after their parents, a girl with some serious powers, and a ring in archer that had started using the name Hawkeye and Clint had taken under his wing.

“Yeah and America.  I wanna start training with them.”  Rebecca said a little more firmly.

“You’re only thirteen,”  Steve replied.

“So?  Edwin was only thirteen when he started training with them.  And he doesn’t even have any superpowers.  He’s got a suit his dad helped him make.”  Rebecca argued.

Steve sighed.  “I’ll think about it, okay?  Let me talk to your mom and dad first.”  Steve said resigned to the fact that this was probably happening.  There was one thing about letting your kids have a choice.  You had to let them have it.

* * *

Back at the apartment, you had let yourself get overwhelmed by the chaos that was birthday party preparations.  Anthony was the next one out of bed and after coming in and saying good morning and getting a birthday hug followed by a bowl of cereal he went straight to the PlayStation.

Bucky was the next to get up.  He came and put the coffee on and then did his best to try and help but you chased him out of the room and he went to play PlayStation with Anthony.  

Steve and Rebecca arrived home sweating and laden down with hot drinks and breakfast foods.  “Alright, sweetheart,”  Steve said, putting his hands on your shoulders.  “You’re taking a break and eating breakfast.”

“But I still have…”  You protested indicating vaguely around the kitchen.

“Food.  Then you can resume your panic.”  Steve insisted, walking you out to the dining room where Anthony and Bucky were setting the table.  “Is Sarah not up?”

Anthony started laughing loudly.  “It’s Sarah, dad.”

“Should we get her up?”  Steve asked hovering at the door a little.  “Or… I mean… it’s her birthday.  But we could do presents.”

“I’ll go get her, dad,”  Rebecca said and disappeared down the hall.  A moment later there was a scream.

“Becca!  For fuck’s sake!”  Sarah’s voice carried down the hall.

“Language!”  Steve yelled back down to them.

A moment later the two girls came down to the dining room, Sarah looking disheveled and scowling.

“Happy Birthday, princess.”  You, Bucky and Steve all said at once.

Sarah blinked at you like she hadn’t quite processed it.

“We’re teenagers now, Sare.  We can officially start acting out.”  Anthony joked.

“Oh yeah… I forgot.”  Sarah said sitting down.

You finished laying out the breakfast items and Steve went and gathered the gifts.  He set them at the end of the table and sat down.

“Teenagers.”  He said as he helped himself to a breakfast sandwich.  “I am over a hundred years old and I’ve never felt it as much as I do right now.”

“Oh no!  We’re gonna get a dad speech!”  Anthony groaned.

“Yes, you are,”  Steve said without flinching.  “Getting to hold you three for the first time was probably the happiest day of my life.  Getting to watch you grow up, seeing the people who you are becoming.  Watching you get new interests.  Learn new things.  It’s been an honor and a blessing to me.  I love that you’ve all followed your own paths and what you each love.  Even if I don’t always understand it.  Even if it’s something that scares me a little.  I love you all so much, and I’m so proud of you all.”

Anthony and Rebecca both pulled faces while Sarah rushed over and hugged him.  “You are such a sap, daddy.”

Steve closed his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.  “Well, at least one of my kids appreciates me.”


	31. The Trouble With Time

The reflection staring back at you from the mirror was beginning to feel alien to you.  There was more grey in your hair.  The laugh lines at the corners of your eyes had started getting much deeper.  Your body had never truly recovered from when you were pregnant with the triplets.  Not to mention it was feeling it’s age.  Your knees popped when you got up after sitting for a while.  Your back ached when you stood for too long.  That’s what time did to people.  It wore them down, taking no prisoners.  Aging was never something that had scared you before.

That was until you had realized that Steve and Bucky weren’t.

It was becoming more and more evident as your body seemed to get slowly taken by time, that they hadn’t changed at all since you met them.  For a while, you had thought it was just one of those tricks your brain played.  When you see something happening so gradually that it doesn’t seem to be happening at all.

That wasn’t the case at all.  Steve’s skin was still completely flawless.  He still had the wide shoulders and tiny waist regardless of how much chocolate you filled him with.  Bucky hair was still thick and full and an even dark brown.  There wasn’t even a little salt and pepper happening in his beard.

You wondered how much longer you could be with them before it started getting weird and how much more weird could your relationship take.  You’d been dealing with the looks over it being Captain America and the Winter Soldier, over a pair of bisexual superheroes, over being polyamorous.  Surely already people were looking at you and seeing some kind of cougar that collected extremely gorgeous super soldiers.  At what age would people look at you and grimace because of how creepy the three of you looked?  How old did you have to get before Bucky and Steve looked at you and instead of love and desire in their eyes there was only pity?  How long before you were just an old lady and they didn’t want you anymore?

The bathroom door opened and Steve stepped in.  He’d been on his run and had already stripped out of his sweats and dropped them in the hamper.  So here he stood, his chiseled naked form glistening.  An example of all your current insecurities.

“Can I share the shower with you, sweetheart?” He asked wrapping an arm around your waist from behind and kissing your neck.  His eyes still had nothing but love in them but when you looked down and saw that muscular forearm with the prominent veins running down the perfect unblemished skin against your soft stomach, with its stretch marks and dimpled flesh.  It was all you could do not to burst into tears.

“Hey, honey.  What’s wrong?  What’s happened?”  Steve asked, turning you to face him.  He cupped your jaw with both his hands and looked down into your eyes.  The concern in his voice was very real, it was reflected in his eyes and the way he held you.  You looked up at him not even sure what to say.  Maybe he hadn’t noticed and if you somehow pointed it out he would realize what a mistake it was to stay with you.

“I just… You and… Have you noticed you and Bucky aren’t aging?” You stuttered.

Steve frowned and let you go.  “Yes,”  He said turning away and hunching his shoulders forward like he was trying to make himself smaller.  “We originally thought, or maybe hoped is a better word, that it was the ice.  You know?  I was frozen for so long and he kept going in and out of cryo.  Maybe it just put us into suspended animation.”

It felt like your heart had stopped.  He knew.  They knew and when faced with it he’d turned away from you.  They had already started seeing you as too old and had been trying to save your feelings.

“Steve.  If you…”

He turned to look at you and the pain written on his features made you forget everything else.  You wrapped him in your arms and he collapsed against you, the full weight of his body against yours.  You couldn’t hold him and the two of you just sagged to the ground.  You sat together naked on the cold tiles, him holding his hands against you limply like he had lost any strength he had.  “What are we going to do?”  He asked, his voice cracking.  “How can we keep going when we’re gonna end up losing everyone?  I already lost everyone once.  Now, I thought I’d get to live my life with these people and I’m gonna have to watch as they all go one by one and it’s just me and him like this?”

“Shh… Steve.  I’ve got you.”  You whispered, running your hands down his neck and back.

He looked up at you, he hadn’t started crying but his eyes were rimmed in red and they shimmered like he was barely holding those tears in.  “How are we gonna go on without you?  And the kids?  Did we curse them with this?  Are they going to lose anyone they choose to love?  Or… or … what if they don’t?  How can we outlive them?  I can’t … I don’t want to have this.”

You pressed your lips to the top of his head and just held him.  “It’s gonna be okay.  You’re gonna be okay.”

“Why would you want to be with us when we’re like this?”  He whispered.

You started laughing.  “Oh god.  We’re idiots, Steve.”

He looked up at you just as the bathroom door opened and Bucky stepped in.  “Three kids dropped off at school and I made - what the hell are you on the floor naked?”

“I thought you two were going to leave me and he thought I was going to leave you two.”  You answered with a weak laugh.

“What? Why?”  Bucky asked.

Steve looked up at him and took a long shuddering breath.  “The aging thing.”

Bucky leaned back against the door.  “Oh.  That.”

“You thought we would leave you?”  Steve asked looking up at you.

You cupped his jaw with one hand and ran your thumb along it.  “Look at me.  When is it too weird? When is it that you look at yourselves and see the guys in their mid-twenties and then you look at me and I’m just some old lady that reminds you of a girl you once loved.”

“Oh, doll,”  Bucky said and moved, so he was crouching behind you.  He wrapped his arms around you and kissed the side of your neck.

Steve ran his hand up and down your side and cupped Bucky’s jaw with the other.  “I can’t… I can’t promise that we’re always going to be okay.  No one can promise that.  But I can tell you this.  Our bodies maybe are stuck as this, but we’re not kids anymore.  We don’t want a new model.  We can’t even relate to the new models.  We love you.  The way you’re aging, it’s normal and…”  He groaned.   “I don’t know how to describe it.  It’s right.  How it should be.  We’re still attracted to you.  But more.  We love you.  You are the person we fell in love with.”  He said.

“How weird before this is too weird?”  You asked desperately.

“You’re gonna have to tell us that, doll.  We’re the freaks here.  We pulled you into this mess.”  Bucky said quietly.

“Bucky,”  You whined.

“I mean it.  We were together.  We pursued you.  You had a normal, successful life and you let two fucked up men -Avengers no less - with PTSD and who the fuck knows what else, convince you to marry them.  You’ve thrown your whole life into chaos to be with us.  Create a family with us.  And now what?  We’re fuckin’ immortal or some shit?  When is it too much for you?   You’ve been our tether to normal for 20 years now.  When can’t you take it anymore?”  Bucky said.

You started crying and buried your face in Steve’s neck.  “I love you.  I don’t want to lose you.  Either of you.”

“Well lucky for you, we aren’t goin’ anywhere.  We, on the other hand, are going to lose you.  So please, sweetheart, don’t rush it.”  Bucky said.

Your tears came harder like you were feeling all the grief they were going to have to bear for the years that stretched out ahead of them.  You turned and pulled Bucky into a hard kiss.  He held you against him, matching the passion and need you poured into that kiss.  Steve started kissing your collarbone and down your chest.  He cupped your breasts and pushed them together before sucking on your nipples.  A surge of pleasure spread out from them and you let out a choked moan into the kiss.

Steve lifted you up and you wrapped yourself around him.  Bucky got up and switched on the shower and then proceeded to strip off his clothes.  You and Steve were locked together, kissing frantically as he stepped in under the water.  He pressed you against the wall and rolled his hips against you, his growing erection pressing against your cunt.

“I need you.  I need you, sweetheart.”  He murmured against your skin as his mouth trailed down your neck and along your collarbone.  He sucked and bit at your skin, leaving a small trail of marks everywhere his mouth touched.  The act alone made you feel giddy and high like you were a teenager making out with someone who maybe you shouldn’t be.  Each roll of Steve’s hips made him harder and harder and you wetter and wetter until he was rock hard and pushing against your soaking cunt.

“I need you too.”  You mewled.

With a snap of his hips, he was inside you, buried to the hilt.  You cried out and your fingers dug into his shoulders.  Bucky stepped into the shoulder, stroking his lube coated cock in slow deliberate movements.  He moved behind Steve and kiss his neck.  Steve let out a low rumble sound and turned holding you up and bouncing you on his cock.

Bucky put his hand on your hip and you felt the press of his cock, sliding up and down your crevice.  You leaned back into him and he captured your lips, kissing you slowly and deeply.  There was a pinch on your entrance and then a stretch as he eased into you.

All three of you moaned, the sound of your voices echoing off the shower stall.  You let your head fall back with your mouth open, catching the warm water that rained down on you in your mouth and you let yourself adjust to the full girth of the two super soldiers that filled you.  When you were ready you leaned forward again and began to bounce.

You moved slowly, up and down, up and down.  Letting their cocks ease in and out of your cunt as you squeezed around them.  Bucky cupped one of your breasts and pinched at your nipples.  He had begun marking the other side of your neck too.  You were going to come away from this with a row of large bruises down both sides of your throat.

Metal fingers touched on your clit and rubbed it in tight concentric circles.  It was too much.  Your emotions cut too deep and every touch against you was too intense.  You came arching back against Bucky with a loud cry.  You cunt clenched and fluttered against their cocks, but instead of easing back and letting it pass through you they each started rutting into you, faster and harder.

The sound in the shower got louder and louder.  A mix of moans and grunts and whispered words.  ‘Oh, gods’ and ‘fucks’ blending with ‘I love yous’ and ‘I need yous’.  All with the background soundtrack of water washing down from multiple shower heads.

You came again and then for a third time.  It wasn’t until the forth took hold of your already spent and exhausted body, that Bucky and Steve released too.  They came together, their cocks began to twitch inside you and with a hard jerk into you they came, pulsing is they released in waves inside of you.

You were set back on the ground on shaky legs.  Steve held you up and they both began to wash you, lovingly and tenderly.  It was like they were exploring all your body and trying to memorize it.  You let them hold you up, not being afraid to let them support you.

“What did you say you made?”  You asked, looking down at Bucky as he ran the shower puff down your legs.

“Oh shit.  Waffles.  I made waffles.  They had choc chips in them.”  Bucky said straightening up.  “They’re probably cold.”

You chuckled and kissed the corner of his jaw.  “It’s okay.  We’ll make them together.”

He nodded and smiled but it was sad and it looked like he was holding something painful in.  “Yeah.  I’d like that.”


	32. Bringing them Home to Dads

Rebecca had been talking about Alex for weeks now.  How Alex had beat her on the most recent English quiz.  How Alex had said some funny thing at lunch.  How Alex had asked her on a date.  You’d head about how cute Alex was.  How Alex’s parents had moved here from China before Alex was born so they spoke Chinese at home.  How Alex had their hair short at the back and long at the front so it was over one eye and how Rebecca liked to push it back all the time.  You’d heard about holding hands and going to movies and first kisses.  Rebecca was smitten.  She talked about Alex almost as much as she talked about her training with what had been hesitantly dubbed as the Young Avengers and that topic took up a lot of her conversations.  You hadn’t pushed to find out more just engaged when she had things to say.  It was exciting and nerve-wracking to see your children become interested in dating.  You knew heartbreak was inevitable.  Yet the joy of new love was amazing to watch and you were excited to see your kids starting down that journey too.

It was Rebecca who had asked if she could bring Alex home to meet you, Steve and Bucky.  Of course, you were excited and apprehensive.  Steve was given specific instructions that there were to be no dad speeches which made Bucky break down into laughter.

The three of you had wanted to make it special.  To have them feel welcome and not scared to be here.  So that Rebecca, Sarah, and Anthony all knew that you had their backs and you trusted their life choices.  When the inevitable heartache happened then that would be made special too with an overload of chocolate ice cream, a big blanket and action movies.

You had found out that Alex was a vegan.  So you’d searched high and low for elaborate vegan recipes.  You and Bucky had spent the whole day cooking.  There was a roasted butternut squash soup and onion and mushroom tartlets  Followed by miniature vegan pot pies and sides of carrots roasted in thyme and rosemary and similarly seasoned potato and sweet potato fries.  Finally, for dessert, you had made individual vegan chocolate and salted caramel pots.

Steve had set the table with the good dinnerware.  The set you’d been given by your parents at your wedding.

As things were baking you’d received the announcement that Alex had arrived and you went out to meet him.  Bucky close on your heels.

Rebecca and your dad came through your front door to find you, Steve and Bucky standing in a row waiting.  Rebecca rolled her eyes and brought Alex who was standing behind her forward.

“Mom, dad, dad, this is Alex.”  She said.  Alex was thin and androgynous.  They wore dark eye makeup and had a lip piercing.  Their jumper was loose and had black and white horizontal stripes and they wore it over neat black skinny leg jeans that were cuffed at the bottom.  “Alex, this is my mom and my dads.  You probably know which dad is which.”

“Rebecca that is not how you introduce people.”  Steve scolded.  “Hello, Alex.  I’m Steve.”

Rebecca looked mortified as you each took turns introducing yourselves and even more so when Tony burst through the front door.  He was almost totally grey now, and he had heavy lines on his face, but he still moved like a man in his early thirties.  He still managed to hold the whole rooms attention.  “FRIDAY said the boyfriend was here!  Where is he?”  He said loudly.

“Alex is not my boyfriend, Uncle Tony.”  Rebecca corrected quickly.  “Partners in crime.”  She added.

“I am so sorry, Alex,”  Tony said taking their hand and shaking it.  “I won’t make the mistake again.”

Alex shrugged lightly. “S’okay.  Everyone makes the mistake at some point.”

“Doesn’t mean they should,”  Tony said.  “So tell me all about yourself.”

While Tony and Steve stayed with your kids and father trying to find out every single detail about Alex, you and Bucky returned to the kitchen.

“Why did we assume boyfriend?”  Bucky asked returning the soup to the heat.

You shook your head.  “Don’t know.  It’s the default I guess.   And you know, we both had at least one.”

Bucky chuckled.  “I never once questioned the fact she kept using them and they.  Not once.  Just my daughter is seeing a boy named Alex.”

“I think I wondered about it once.  And then I forgot about it.  Oh well.  We won’t make that mistake again will we?”  You said taking the tarts out of the oven.

“I dunno, doll.  I am very dense.”  Bucky teased.

You plated up and the two of you brought things out on trays.  “The first course is ready.  Everything is vegan, you don’t have to worry, Alex.”

“Thank you.”  They said quietly.   “Normally people just give me side dishes.”

Tony took his leave and the rest of you sat down to dinner.  You had had this thought in the back of your head that there would be something very awkward about this night.  That maybe you just never would like anyone that your kids brought home.  Alex was quiet, but they opened up quickly.  Already comfortable around Sarah and Anthony.  It seemed right that the first person that your loud, friendly, outspoken daughter would fall for was a small, quiet, artistic kid like Alex who when they spoke about art and music their whole face lit up.  It was like Bucky and Steve all over again.  You wondered if this maybe would stick for her.  That it would be the romance of a century the way your boys were.

Alex politely complimented you after each course and when the dessert came out they poked it a little suspiciously.  “This is vegan right?”  They asked.

“It sure is.  I promise.  I can show you the recipe if you like.”  You said.

“Mom is really good with desserts, Alex.  She sells vegan chocolate in the shop even.  She wouldn’t trick you.”  Rebecca assured them.

Alex took a bite, and it was almost like their eyes rolled back into their head.  “Oh my god, this is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”  They said, their mouth still full so the words came out muffled and missing consonants.

“I’m so glad you like it.”  You laughed and took your own bite.  The coconut milk in the recipe made it creamy and gave it a subtle nutty flavor that cut through the bitter of the chocolate, it was spiked with the sweet caramel and salt.

“Sorry to interrupt but Alex Jiang’s parents have just arrived.  They are currently on their way up.”  FRIDAY announced.  There was a joint whine of ‘aww no’ from all the kids.

You, Steve and Bucky got up and went to the door to greet them.  “Did they behave themselves?”  Mrs. Jiang asked after you’d exchanged names.

“Alex was very polite thank you for letting them come for dinner,”  Steve answered.  “We’ll have to get together more often.  Maybe a large family lunch sometime?”

“That would be lovely.  At our place maybe?”  Mr. Jiang suggested.

“Alex are you ready?”  Mrs. Jiang asked.

Alex whined and dragged their feet to the door, Rebecca’s hand in theirs.

“Say thank you, please.”  Mrs. Jiang scolded.

“Thank you for having me.  I had a great time.”  Alex said in an almost sing-song voice.  They turned to Rebecca, blushed and kissed her cheek before grabbing their mom’s hand and dragging her out the door.

“Thank you again!”  Mrs. Ziang called back and Alex dragged her down the hall.

You closed the door and turned and smiled at Rebecca.  “Well, Alex is cute.”  You teased.

“Mom!”  Rebecca cried, throwing her hands up and rushing from the room.  You, Bucky and Steve started laughing.

“And she’s the one who wants to follow you two into superheroing.”  You said, shaking your head.

“Hey, mom.  About that.”  Anthony said looking a little sheepish.  “You think I can start training too?”


	33. The First Mission

Bucky paced.  Being a parent always had this lingering concern that when your kids go out by themselves they may not come back.  Bucky had that too.  Maybe more than most people due to the fact he had been taken as an adult and he knew the worst of the worst of what can happen if the wrong people take you.  His kids were strong, he would try and tell himself that he was being over cautious.  There was, of course, the risk of them being specifically targeted.  But he couldn’t just wrap them in cotton wool.  They needed a life and he wanted them to have choice.

So he talked to his therapist about coping mechanisms.  Kept telling himself that they were super soldiers and they had at least the bare minimum self-defense training.  He had them carry Stark phones with smartwatches so worst came to worst they could be tracked.

They’d be fine.

They always were fine.  Coming home throwing there backpacks randomly in the middle of the floor.  Laughing loudly.  Sometimes they’d have friends with them.  Or boyfriends or girlfriends.  They were always fine.  More than fine.  Anthony, Sarah, and Rebecca had grown into three very happy, healthy sixteen-year-olds.

So he had managed to keep it under control.  It was just a niggling fear.  Checking the clock to see if they were late.  Reminding himself that kids will sometimes be late.  Mentally apologizing to his dad who probably went through this exact thing a million times because Bucky had had the tendency to randomly decide to go off with friends after school pretty much every day of the week.

He had the hang of it.  It didn’t control him.

Only now.  Now he had two kids who wanted to be superheroes and today they had their first mission.  They’d been training.  Rebecca for years now.  The team was good and there were some heavy hitters on it. Even if his kids weren’t on the team he’d feel confident they could do it. This wasn’t a hard mission.  Small clean up job.  That was it.  They were trained.  They were strong.  They had a good sense of right and wrong.

They were his kids and he was freaking out.

He’d walk up beside Tony in the command room and look at the feed outs that were relayed back for each member from their wristbands or suits.  His eyes would linger on Rebecca and Anthony’s vitals and then he’d walk back to the other end of the room telling himself everything was fine. Steve was with them.  They were fine.

By the time he’d walked to the other end of the room again all the ‘what ifs’ would have taken over again.  What if it was something alien?  What if they were outnumbered?   What if one of them fell?  What if?  What if?  What if?

So he’d turn around again and walk back standing beside Tony and looking over their vital signs.  Again and again, he’d repeat this pattern.  Wearing a groove in the floor.

“If you don’t stop your damn pacing, cyberman, I’m gonna lock you out of the room,”  Tony said.

You looked up at him from where you sat with Wanda and Vision.  “Come here, honey.”  You said patting the couch.

He huffed and made his way over to you flopping down and then curling into your side.  “I hate this.”

“I know  Welcome to my life.”  You said, kissing the top of his head.  “I used to stay up baking and eating the cake batter before I even managed to get it into the tin.”

“They are all highly trained.  I have faith they will all be fine.”  Vision said, patting Bucky on the back.

“Besides, America is with them.  That girl.  I’ve seen her train.  She could do this without the rest.  I am sure of it.”  Wanda added.

“And there are basically two Iron Men there,”  Tony said pressing a few buttons on the console.

“Yes, yes, the suits are very impressive.”  You teased.  Tony looked at you with a smirk on his face and flipped you off.  “Keep your wife under control, Barnes.”

“You got the wrong idea about who’s the boss in this relationship.”  You shot back and Tony bellowed with laughter.

“Well, you can all calm down,”  Tony said pressing a few more buttons.  “They’re on their way back.”

Bucky let out a huge breath and became hyper-aware of how hard his heart was beating.  “Oh thank god.”

You leaned over and kissed his cheek.  “How about we go downstairs and cook.  Make sure we have their favorites for them when they get back?”

Bucky nodded and got up.  You turned and hugged Wanda.  “Who’d be a parent, huh?”

She laughed.  “At least they want to do good.  That’s important.”

You gave her a squeeze before getting up and going over to Tony kissing him on the cheek.  “Thanks, Tony.”

He smiled and gave a brief nod.  “Kinda know what Pepper was getting at for all those years now.  This really sucked.”

“Mmm hmm.”  You hummed and followed after Bucky.

When you got to your apartment there was already the smell of cooking and sounds were coming from the kitchen.

You and Bucky headed right for it only to find Sarah with several different projects going on at once looking flustered and covered in flour and cocoa powder while the cat sat on the kitchen bench watching her and the dog licked up something she’d spilled on the floor.

“Sweetie are you okay here?”  You asked trying to assess the damage.

She looked over at you and groaned.  “I mean, mostly.  Getting there.  I wanted it to be all sorted before you saw.  I thought…”  She babbled and stopped taking a breath.  “I thought it would be good if they had their favorite desserts when then got back.  Then you were late and … and I thought you might want something.  I don’t know.  I wanted to make dinner for you so you didn’t have to worry.”

“Oh, honey,”  Bucky said going and wrapping his daughter in his arms.  The thought Sarah would be as stressed out as he was hadn’t even really occurred to him.   The kids just seemed to flow with what’s happening and they had grown up with their dads doing what they do.  He kissed her on top of the head and rubbed her back.  “Let’s cook together, huh?  They’re all on their way home now and we could use some comfort food.”

Sarah nodded and wiped her eyes.

“So what are we doing here?  Lava cake and double chocolate and caramel profiteroles?”  You asked as you assessed the mess.

She nodded and pulled gently away from Bucky.  “Yeah, I can’t get the choux to work on the profiteroles though.”

The three of you work together to make the dessert along with mac and cheese, chicken noodle soup, fried chicken and gumbo.  You’re just putting it on the table when Rebecca and Anthony come in followed by Steve.  The kids were laughing loudly while Steve just has that tired, ‘pleased to be home’ smile on his face.

“Mom!  You should have seen us!”  Rebecca shouted when she saw you putting the mac and cheese on the table.  She wrapped her arms around your waist and kissed your forehead.  All the kids were now taller than you and liked to tease you for it.  You hugged her back breathing her in and relaxing.  They were home again.  All was good.

“You can tell us all about it over dinner.  Go get washed up.”  You said.

Just as they disappeared down the hall your dad came in the front door.  “They’re home?”  He asked.

“Yeah.  Just got in.”  You said.

He let out a breath.  “Thank god.  That was stressful, huh.”

You came over and kissed his cheek.  “Never gets easier.  You’re staying for dinner?”

He nodded, smiling gratefully.  “Thanks, honey.”

Dinner was eclectic.  You, Bucky and Sarah had that quiet relieved feeling that sits somewhere between exhaustion and elation.  Steve was just plain exhausted and he sat between you and Bucky, a leg pressed against each of you.  Occasionally resting a hand on one of you or the other.  Rebecca and Anthony however, were on an adrenaline high.  They couldn’t stop talking about the mission.  How they’d all taken their positions trying not to get noticed before they wanted to.  How Kate had broken in through the vents.  How they had burst through the doors all at the same time and everyone had panicked.   How America, Anthony, and Edwin had kept flying around the perimeter and collecting up strays who tried to run.

“Oh my god, and then some guy tried to fight Billy, cause he’s so small and Billy used his powers to push him over to me and I knocked him out.”  Rebecca babbled.

“You all fought very well.  We’re very proud of you.”  Steve said, his voice sounding weary.  “How about we clean up the dishes.”

Bucky jumped up quickly followed by Sarah.  “No, you all had a physical day we’ll do it.”

Steve, Anthony, and Rebecca all stood too, Steve putting his hand on Bucky’s.  “It’s fine.  We’re home.  You can relax.”  Bucky sagged a little, leaning towards Steve.

“Yeah, Sare.  You cooked.  It’s fine.”  Anthony added.

Steve kissed Bucky’s temple and Bucky sat back down but Sarah had already started heading to the kitchen.  “I made your favorites though.”

“Profiteroles?”  Rebecca said, her eyes lighting up.  She dashed past Sarah pushing her aside and slamming the kitchen door open.  Anthony took after her and Steve sighed.  “Guys.  Please.  Settle down.”  He looked back at you and Bucky and shook his head.  “All day but with eight of them.”

You and Bucky started laughing as Steve followed after, stopping briefly to kiss Sarah on the temple and nudge her back to the table again.

She sat down as her brother and sister reappeared, Rebecca holding bowls, while Anthony had a platter stacked with the lava cakes.  Steve brought up the rear with the profiteroles and a tub of ice cream.

“You may have gone a little overboard here, Sarah,”  Steve said sitting back down and helping himself to one of the little pastry puffs filled with chocolate custard.

“Never!”  Anthony shouted.

“I get the terrible feeling you two aren’t going to sleep at all tonight.”  You sighed and took a bite of the lava cake.  It was warm and comforting.  The sweet soft cake made moist by the oozing fudge center.  It was one of the staples for when Bucky and Steve got back from a mission and somehow eating it always made you feel like things were okay again.  Like you’d conditioned yourself to it.  They were safe, you had lava cake.

“It’s Saturday.  Who cares?”  Rebecca said.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something, seemed to decide better and shook his head.

“Just try and keep it down, okay?”   Steve said complete resignation that for those two, this was a celebration.

“This is so good, Sarah,”  Rebecca said her mouth full of profiterole.  “You made it?”

“Well, mom helped, but yeah,”  Sarah said.

The conversation then turned to baking.  Rebecca and Anthony listening as closely to Sarah she had to them about the mission.  In that moment, you became hyper-aware of how lucky you were.  You relaxed and just enjoyed the closeness of your family.


	34. In Memoriam

There was a lot of ways people had expected Tony Stark to die.  In a cave in Afghanistan at the hands of terrorists paid by someone he loved like family.  An accident while testing out a new suit.  Poisoned by the same device that had been build to save his life.  In the midst of battle.  He had had money on a heart attack.  He was sure his heart was eventually going to give up on him.

No one had predicted peacefully in his sleep at the age of 79 with Pepper at his side and a building full of people he considered family after he had spent so long with no family at all.  Yet that is how it had happened.

Loss had been something that was becoming more and more on all your minds.  Your father had passed before the triplets had graduated from high school.  His heart had got him in the end, though he had lived a long life by the time it did.  It had devastated you all having gotten so used to him being in the apartment next door.

Most of the other original Avengers were all showing their age too.  Natasha and Clint both officially retired from everything with Clint’s eyesight began failing.  They’d moved to California in a house on the beach.  You visited with them anytime you went out to check on your LA store.

Bruce’s mind had started to go.  It was heartbreaking to see the man whose greatest passion was science like that.  Hulk however still looked as young as ever and was starting to take over more often.  You wondered if one day he would just stay like that for good and there would be no Bruce.

Sam had moved out of the tower when he stopped being able to do the runs with Steve.  He and Rachel had bought a place uptown and were raising their own kids there.

Thor was the only one that hadn’t shown any signs of aging at all.  He looked just as young as he ever did and while he wasn’t always on Earth when he was he’d started making offers to Steve and Bucky about taking them and the kids to Asgard at some point.  Part of you hoped that in the end, they would take him up on it.  Though you weren’t sure if the kids were ready to come to terms with their mortality or lack thereof yet.  You weren’t sure if they were or not anyway.  They were nineteen now and still aging as normal.

Tony had outfoxed everyone, including himself.  He’d gotten to see Edwin take his place in the Avengers and graduate from college with an electrical engineering degree.  He’d seen him start his Ph.D. and meet the girl he was pretty sure he would marry one day.  He’d gotten to see Maria get Valedictorian of her class and start College.  How even though she looked nothing like either of them, she had somehow managed to be the best of both he and Pepper.

He had gotten the happy life he’d never expected or dared dream of.  He had gone to bed happy and content like he often did these days and he’d just not woken up again and no one had expected it.

Pepper had called in the morning to break the news.  You had watched Steve take the call stoically not even sure what was happening.

“I’m so sorry, Pepper…  We’ll be right up…  Would you like us to bring anything?  Of course…  No, I understand…  I’ll see you soon.”   He’d disconnected the call and you and Bucky looked at him both equally confused.

“What’s going on?”  Bucky asked.

“It’s Tony.  He passed away.”  Steve said his jaw set.

“Oh no.”  You gasped and just slammed into him, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest.  You felt the tears come immediately.  Sadness for Tony. For Pepper.  Their kids.  Steve too and yourself.  He had been there since the first day you met Steve and Bucky.  He was the reason why you had met at all.  At every major point in time Tony had been there and now he wasn’t anymore.

Steve just held himself stiff, stroking a hand down your back.  “I know.  Pepper needs some help.  Contacting people and … organizing things.  So I’m going to go up.”

“We’ll come too,”  Bucky said, firm enough to know it wasn’t a request.

When you got up to the penthouse Pepper was rushing around frantically on the phone.  Steve approached her holding his hand out for the phone.  She ignored him, continuing to pace around the room as the pitch of her voice got higher.  He stepped up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder and held out his hand she put the phone in it and turned melting against him and breaking down.  You looked at Bucky and the two of you went straight to the kitchen to get breakfast started.

What followed was four days of chaos.  The kids were all in college and needed to be called and told.  As did the other Avengers.  Between the four of you, you decided to tell Peter, Bruce, and Rhodey in person.  Steve took over any press things and when Rhodey was told he came and helped her organize a service and casket.

You and Bucky stayed on support.  You cooked meals.  Hugged people.  Cried with them.  Let them vent about the vultures hanging out around the front of the building.

Everyone came to the tower.  Avengers and friends who had made it into the list of people Tony Stark had cared for.  It became loud and chaotic and you knew that if Tony could see it, he’d be happy.  The people he had gathered around him and carefully selected to be his family when his own had let him down were all here, grieving, and crying and laughing and remember the person that Tony Stark was.

The funeral was enormous.  Finding a venue was a struggle in itself.  He was having his body turned into a diamond and he would have been appalled to have his funeral in a cathedral, so in the end, it was done in the grounds of the Avengers compound in Upstate New York.  The press lined the otherwise isolated street trying to get photographs of the people in attendance.  A strict no-fly zone was enacted around the compound and yet helicopters circled around the perimeter.

Avengers, friends, family, co-workers, and people whose lives Tony had touched were all in attendance.  Thor stood in the middle of the training field as Tony’s coffin was brought in on the shoulders of Happy, Rhodey, Steve, Edwin, Peter, and Bruce.  They set it down on the plinth in front and took their seats as Thor cleared his throat.

“Let us take a few deep breaths to prepare ourselves. Breathe deeply and remember the love you have for Tony and the joy he brought you.”  He said.  He paused for a moment lowering his head and breathed deeply before raising his head.  “And so we begin.

“Tony was a man who did not wish to be seen as a son.  He worked very hard to shrug off the shackles of the name he carried.  So now let us remember Tony the husband of Virginia.  The Father of Edwin and Maria.  Tony the man of iron.  The soul of the Avengers.  He was a leader and scientist and above all things he was a friend.  So that is how we shall remember him.”

Pepper stepped up to the podium.  She looked as flawless as she often looked in a black slimline dress and hat with black gauze hiding the redness of her eyes.  “Tony wasn’t always an easy man.”  She said, her voice wavering a little.  “He was stubborn and pig-headed.  He didn’t sleep well.  Once I woke up to an Iron Man suit attacking me.  Then there was the whole ‘Malibu house incident’ because he wanted to taunt the bad guys.  He wasn’t easy at all.  But he was easy to love.  He didn’t always know the right thing to do, but he wanted to do the right thing.  He wanted to be the hero.  He was my hero.”

Pepper went on to talk about how they met.  How she kept saving his life.  How they fell in love.  The day they were married and the day they adopted their children.  After Pepper went Rhodey.  Then his children.  The more people talked the more you broke down until you were just sobbing against Bucky as he held you closely against him.

Thor eventually returned to the podium.  “Do not weep for me for I have not gone. I am the wind that shakes the mighty oak.  I am the gentle rain that falls upon your face.  I am the spring flower that pushes through the dark earth.  I am the chuckling laughter of the mountain stream.  Do not weep for me for I have not gone.  I am the memory that dwells in the heart of those that knew me.  I am the shadow that dances on the edge of your vision.  I am the wild goose that flies south at Fall’s call and I shall return at Summer rising.  I am the stag on the wild hill’s way.  I am just around the corner.  Therefore, the wise weep not, but rejoice at the transformation of my Being.  Tony Stark was of the stars and he shall return to them.  Valhalla is open to him for he was the Earth’s best defender.  He was my friend and will be missed.”

As Thor spoke Tony’s casket was taken to a hearse to be cremated.  As the music started to play everyone filed towards the compound.  The convention area was set up with an open bar and finger food.   You had the store provide a chocolate sculpture of the Mark 4 Iron Man suit.  Around its base on ice were small tubs of the Ben and Jerry’s Stark Raving Hazelnut.

You grabbed a tub and ate it leaning against Bucky as Steve stood watching the people mingle in the room.  “This looks like something Tony would have put on himself.”  You said, gesturing with your spoon around the room.

Steve hummed.  “That’s where he’d make his big entrance about half an hour late because he had to work himself up to it.”

“Woulda hated it too,”  Bucky said.

You put the spoon in your mouth and let the ice cream sit - sweet and chocolate with that nutty undercurrent so similar in flavor to Nutella - and melted on your tongue until there were just crunchy pieces of the nuts left.   You were approached by Sarah and Anthony.  At nineteen Anthony was now taller than both his dads and while Sarah and Rebecca hadn’t reached their height they were still tall.   Rebecca 6 foot while Sarah was just under that.

“It’s going to be weird coming home and Uncle Tony not being here,”  Anthony said looking up at the chocolate sculpture standing over him.

“Yeah, it is.  He felt like he’d always be here.  It’s gonna be quiet.”  You said.  “Did we ever tell you about how he was the reason I met your dads?”

Anthony started to roll his eyes and caught himself.  “Yeah.  But you can tell it again if you want.”

You smiled and rubbed his arm.  “Really feel like making Easter Eggs now you know? It’s dumb, but …”

Bucky’s arms tightened around you and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.  “That’s not dumb, mom.  Maybe I can make them with you.”   Sarah suggested.

You nodded.  “Yeah.  I’d really like that, honey.”

Steve kissed his daughter on top of the head and looked around the room, his eyes lingering on each of his friends.  It had started like he knew it would.  He would take time for them all.  He needed to appreciate them as much as he could while he had the opportunity.  Sam caught his eye and waved him over to where he was talking to Clint and Natasha.  He nodded and made his way over.


	35. The Graduation

Steve tightened his tie and shrugged on the jacket of his navy blue suit.  It was strange how there were moments that just made you feel old.  He had had them a lot, even back when he first woke up and while he was technically just shy of a hundred years old he still felt like the 27 years he was when he froze in the first place.  When he came across a piece of technology and he had no idea what it was for.  When people started referencing movies and books that had come out while he was frozen.  When they used some slang he didn’t understand.  Or when Tony and Bruce started talking jargon.

Nothing made him feel as old as his kids growing up.  He first felt it when they stopped asking to be carried when they’d been walking too long.  Then again when they started school.  Starting high school was a big one, as was when they turned thirteen.  Graduating high school made him question the very nature of time that it should be going so fast.

Now here was another one.  Today Anthony was graduating from College.

He’d always had a natural aptitude for math and loved technology in that same wide-eyed wonder Bucky always had when he was young.  What Anthony had that Bucky never did though was a family with money and an Uncle that helped push and grow his natural abilities.  Even though they had lost Tony two years ago, Anthony kept pushing himself wanting to make him proud or live up to his name.  So despite the fact he was also taking on Avengers duties, he managed to get his undergraduate degree a year earlier than most people and with a list of offers to do a Ph.D. from the top colleges around the country.

You came up behind Steve and kissed his neck.  There were days where when you saw yourself in the mirror beside either of your husbands and you felt like you were the old lady with two toy boys.  Today was not one of those days.  You had dressed up for the occasion and you felt good.  You were a proud mama hen about to see her son graduate.

“You ready?”  You asked, straightening Steve’s tie.

“As I’ll ever be.” He answered.

The two of you made your way out to the living room.  Bucky was relaxed back in the recliner wearing a pair of black suit pants and a white dress shirt unbuttoned at the collar.  The girls were already home for the summer and Rebecca sat curled up in the other recliner with Alex, cuddling, and marathoning their way through the shows they’d promised not to watch until they were together again.  Sarah was setting up an elaborate diorama made of chocolates she’d printed with a 3D printer.  America and Kate had shown up to help her, though how much help Kate Bishop was being, was debatable.  The last year or so those three had become very close which you’d thought was a little strange given Sarah was the only one of your kids who hadn’t joined the Young Avengers.  You’d learned to stop questioning these things too much though. Life rarely made any sense.

“You both ready?”  Bucky asked looking up at you.

“Yes, and we better get a move on.  Even with the Quin, it’s going to take an hour to get there.”  Steve said.

Bucky rolled his eyes and got up.  “I’ve been ready for twenty minutes.”

Steve turned on the teens in the room.  “Alright, girls.  Don’t forget people are coming around and we’re relying on you to make sure everything is ready.”  He said.

Rebecca rolled her eyes.  “Yes, dad. We remember.”

“Don’t worry, daddy,”  Sarah added, coming over and kissing him on the cheek.  I’ve made a timetable and America and Kate said they’d help.”  She said.

“Yeah, Cap, we got it under control.  Parties we can handle.”  Kate added.  “We’re kinda proud of him too.  But don’t tell him that.”

“Thank you, Kate,”  Steve said with a bemused smile.

Sarah came and kissed you and Bucky goodbye too and the three of you headed up to the Quin.

It took a half to fly into Boston and another half an hour to get to MIT.  The three of you followed the crowd of other parents and friends to the Roman style building where the commencement ceremony was going to be held.  There were straggling students dressed in their black robes with yellow sashes.  You were directed to your seats the ushers doing a double take when they realized whose ticket they’d just checked.

Finally, when everyone had been seated the ceremony started and the graduates all filed in, a collection of grey and red robes of Ph.D. graduates sitting in front of the sea of black.  You spotted Anthony quickly, towering over most of the kids around him and broader in the chest than any that may have been his height or taller.

The ceremony was long and quite frankly pretty boring.  Still nothing quite like that feeling of when you heard the Chancellor call out Anthony Samuel Barnes-Rogers your heart swelled with pride and you clapped harder than you had ever clapped for anything.

After the end had been closed and mortar boards had been tossed in the air you went outside and waited for Anthony each of you getting and snatching canapes as they passed you.  A sea of figures in black robes came pouring down the stairs and you spotted Anthony right away.  He grinned when he spotted you and came right over.  As soon as he was in reach you wrapped your arms around him squeezing him as hard as you could.  “I am so proud of you.”  You said.

“God, mom.  Calm down.”  Anthony said, though his arms closed around you and he kissed you on top of the head.

“No, I will not.”  You said.  “Take our photo.”  You added looking at Steve.

Bucky was chewing the inside of his cheek trying not to laugh.  “Gonna have to suck it up I’m afraid, Tony.”  He said.  “This is what moms are like.”

“Ugh, like I hadn’t worked that out yet.”  Anthony teased.  He put his arm around your shoulder and rested his head on the top of yours as Steve took a photo.  “You want to go get one of the professional photos done, mom?  So you can have dads in it too?”

You felt yourself tear up and you nodded and wiped underneath your eyelashes with your fingertips and tried to blink the tears back.

“Mom,”  Anthony whined.  “No.  What did I do?”

“Nothing.  I’m just really proud of you.”  You said.

He shook his head and put his arm around your shoulders.  “Come on then.”

* * *

After the photos and mingling for a while, speaking to the Dean and other Professors, as well as some of Anthony’s friends, the four of you traveled back to New York.  When Anthony opened the door a huge cheer erupted inside.  The crowd gathered inside consisted of family, old school friends,  ex-Avengers and current Avengers.  The room was crowded and loud and while you had been away, Rebecca, Sarah, and the others (though you assumed probably it was more Sarah, America, and Kate) had put up balloons and streamers.  The chocolate diorama that Sarah had been working on was spread over four tables weaving in and out of chips and dips and cupcakes and bows of fruit punch.  There were three different chocolate fountains set up.  One in milk chocolate, one in dark and the third seemed to have nacho cheese.  Something that was so Clint Barton to do that it could only have been Kate’s idea.

“Oh man, you guys.  You didn’t have to do this.”  Anthony said, running his hand up the back of his head.

“You kidding me?”  Edwin argued coming over and patting Anthony on the shoulder.  “You saw the party my dad did for me when I graduated.  It’s what we do in this family.”

The use of the term family from Edwin Stark made your heart hurt a little and you felt tears prick your eyes.  You waved your hands in front of them like that would blow them back into your eyes.

“Oh no.  Mom’s started again.”  Anthony teased.

Steve took your hand.  “Don’t worry.  You have fun.  I’ll take care of your mom.”  He said pulling you away from the kids.  The two of you headed to the chocolate fountain.  Steve looked at the cheese one on the way and started laughing.  “It’s funny how kids can pick up the most random things from people they look up to isn’t it?”

“You think it was Kate too?”  You asked.

He laughed.  “It was so obviously Kate.  A cheese fountain is as Hawkeye as not missing a shot.”

“Look at these things Sarah made.”  You say picking up one of the fine geometric shapes she had made from milk chocolate.  “It’s like she used Bucky’s love of tech and your artistic skills to find her own way of doing what I do.”

“My artistic skill?  Like you don’t have any yourself.”  Steve said.  He looked over at the kids who were now socializing in a large group.   Sam was talking to Anthony animatedly.

Steve picked up a strawberry and dipped it in the milk chocolate before offering it to you.  You took a bite, closing your eyes and savoring the tartness of the strawberry, mixing with the bittersweet of the chocolate.  “Remember that party Tony held and I fed you strawberries?”  He asked, wiping his thumb over your bottom lip.  Your tongue darted out and licked it as it brushed the strawberry juice away.  “Before we were seeing each other.”

You chuckled and leaned in against him.  “Mmm… Sam was hitting on me.”

“And I got a little bit jealous,”  Steve added.

“And I slapped you in the face.”  You said and you both started laughing.

“Come a long way since then,”  Steve said pressing his lips to the top of your head.  “Look at what we’ve done.”

You sighed and rubbed his stomach.  “I think we’ve done pretty well.”

Bucky approached you both and poked you in the side.  “Still being a couple of saps I see.”

“Just reminiscing.  Our first kiss.”  Steve said with a chuckle.

“Oh yeah, that was a violent one for you two.”  Bucky teased.  He leaned into your ear.  “Maybe later we can reminisce a different first.”

You bit your bottom lip to stop yourself from laughing.  “If you wanted chocolate coated bacon you just have to ask.”

“Why you little…”  Bucky said wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into a deep kiss.

Steve laughed, softly at first and then much louder when he saw the face that Rebecca pulled when she looked over at the three of you.  It was nice to know that even if he was feeling his age, he didn’t always have to act it.


	36. Giving Away, Coming Together

Steve straightened Bucky’s tie his hands shaking a little.  He thought he’d been nervous at their own wedding, but it was nothing like how he felt now.  Bucky’s hand closed on his, holding it against his chest as he tilted Steve’s jaw up so their blue eyes met.  A smile played over Bucky’s lips.  “Such a worrier.”  He said, his voice deep and gentle.  He leaned in and Steve closed his eyes savoring the feel of Bucky’s soft lips brushing against his.  He’d shaved this morning and the familiar scruff was missing letting him just feel the softness of his lips and the small hint of his tongue flicking out to taste him.

He gently pulled back and rested his forehead on Bucky’s.  “I just remember being in intensive care with her after she was born like it was yesterday.  How can she be getting married?”  Steve asked.

Bucky smiled and ruffled the back of Steve’s hair.  “Because that happened 24 years ago.”  He joked.  “Now she’s an all grown up Avenger who wants to start her own family.  It’s time that we let her go.”

Twenty-four years.  Twenty-four years of watching his children grow.  From changing diapers to lullabies.  Scratches and bruises.  First days of school.  Graduation ceremonies and Avenging.  They weren’t little kids anymore.  He had never wanted to turn back the clocks as much as he did right now.  It had seemed like the blink of an eye and he hadn’t had the chance to appreciate them enough.

Not that he wasn’t proud.  He was so proud.  Of Rebecca.  Of all of them.  Anthony had managed to work his way through both an undergraduate degree and a mechanical engineering postdoctorate.  All while still working for the Avengers.  He had moved out of the tower and taken up residence with the California Avengers and was working with that Avengers team along with working in research and development for Stark Industries.  Sarah had studied business management and fine arts and had even spent 4 months in France studying chocolate making.  She was still living at home and had started working in the chocolate shop.  Rebecca had studied politics at Columbia while she also worked as an Avenger.  She now had taken on Avenging full time when she graduated.  During all this she had stayed both faithful and close to Alex.  They both had been living together in their own place in the Tower since she’d graduated.

Today they were getting married and Steve wasn’t sure he was ready.

“We’ll still be her dad you know?”  Bucky said running his hands along the top of Steve’s jackets.  “She lives two floors down.  You can go give her a dad speech whenever you want.”

“I know.  I just…”  Steve said and shook his head.

“Don’t wanna let your little precocious girl go?”  Bucky said.  “But it already happened.  This is just the party.  And we love Alex.”

Steve sighed.  “You’re right.”

“For a change,”  Bucky said.  “Let’s go see our girl in her dress.”

* * *

You slid the zip of Rebecca’s dress up and smoothed down the black tulle overlay on the back of her skirt.  “Turn around.  Let me see.”

Rebecca spun around and you took a step back and took her in.  Her dress was black with intricate black lace embroidery making the bodice, and black tulle over an eggshell ball gown style skirt.  Her hair was up, and her makeup done so her eyes were smoky and her lips are dark red.

You felt tears prick your eyes and you waved your hands helplessly.  “Oh my god, Becca.”

“No.  No, mom.”  Rebecca said coming over and hugging you.  “No crying.  You’re banned.”

“I don’t know that I can promise that.”  You sniffed.

“Are you ready, Becca?”  Sarah asked.  She and Anthony were being her bridal attendants.  She wore a navy blue A-line cut dress with a full skirt that ended just over her knees and had a black lace overlay and ribbon belt.

Rebecca took a deep breath in and let it out.  “Yeah.  Let’s do this.”

The three of you made your way into the living room to find Steve, Bucky, and Anthony waiting for you.  Steve was wearing a medium grey three-piece suit and Bucky a black two-piece.  Anthony stook out the most.  He wore a Navy blue brocade suit.  The pattern shimmering a little in the light.  They all stood as you stepped into the room.  You could see the love radiating out of Steve and Bucky as they looked over their daughter.

“Becca, you look so beautiful, honey,”  Bucky said coming over and kissing her cheek.

“Thank you, dad.”  She whispered.

Steve approached her and wrapped her in his arms tightly.  “I am so proud of you.”  He said.

“Okay, dad.  I’m just getting married. Chill out.”  Rebecca choked out.  “And you’re gonna break my ribs.”

He chuckled and let her go.  “Okay.  Sorry, sorry.”

Your group went downstairs and got into the two vintage cars waiting for you that drove you to the Morningside Castle on the Upper West Side.  When you made your way into the internal courtyard you took your seat next to Sam and Rachel while Steve and Bucky stood back with Rebecca, Sarah, and Anthony.

There was a large group of people seated and standing around the stairs where Thor was standing.  Alex stood just in front of him wearing a white brocade suit with chunky heels.  Their black hair hung over their eye and they wore thick black eye makeup.  Standing beside them were two of their friends one dressed in a blue suit that matched Anthony’s and the other a dress that matched Sarah’s.

As you took your seat the string trio started playing ‘Marry You’ by Bruno Mars.  Anthony walked down the aisle first followed by Sarah.  When they were standing in place to the right of Thor, Rebecca began walking down the aisle, arms linked with Bucky and Steve.  Alex’s eyes lit up as soon as they saw her.  When you turned to see Rebecca you could see the same joy and love reflected in hers and it made your heart feel so full it hurt a little.  They were so in love and they were going to face the exact same issues you, Steve and Bucky had faced.

Rebecca came to a stop in front of Thor and she and Alex faced each other, unable to hide the smiles on their faces.

“Friends!”  Thor bellowed.  “Out of affection and honor for Alex and Rebecca, we are here today to witness their vows, which will unite them in marriage. To this moment they bring the fullness of their hearts as a treasure to share with one another. They bring the spark and spirit which is uniquely their own, and out of which has grown for some time, and will continue to grow, deepen, and strengthen, the precious reality of their life together.

“We share joy with them this special day in their lives. This day they affirm and declare each other as life partners in a celebration of love, which will bring empowerment to their life’s path together.

“Let us all give our love to Rebecca and Alex during this ceremony as they pledge their love to one another. May the wisdom and spirit of all-giving and all-understanding Love pervade the words spoken and the love given here today, that these vows offered will remain strong and true in the presence of love all the days of their lives.

“May all of us present feel the strength and depth of Alex and Rebecca’s love and experience a rebirth of the power of love in our own lives.”

Thor stopped and moved to a table to the right of the stairs where three candles stood.  One large white one and two small blue candles.  “Today Rebecca and Alex come here from two different families, two different heritages.  We are especially grateful for the values which have flowed into them from those who have loved and nurtured them and pointed them along life’s way.”  He said.

“The Heritage each brings to this marriage will continue to be an important element in their lives, but now will be shared between them.  Out of these two families, a new family will be created.”  He explained.

“A very beautiful way to symbolize the two who become one is to invite the mothers of Alex and Rebecca to come forward and light the individual candles which represent the two separate families.”  He paused and held out his hands toward you and Alex’s mother.  You both stood and approached the table each picking up a candle.

“When the two individual flames are merged as one, it will symbolize the union of their two families in this marriage and the rich heritage each brings to it.”  He said as you and Alex’s mother lit the large candle using the flames from the smaller tapered ones.

“From now on Rebecca and Alex will grow together as unique persons who will together create a rich heritage all of their own.”

Thor pulled out a silver cord and Alex and Rebecca crossed their wrists and held each other’s hands.  He began to bind them together as each spoke.

“These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever,”  Rebecca said as Thor wound the cord over their hands.

“These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future,”  Alex replied.

“These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other,”  Rebecca said.

Alex took a steadying breath before speaking again. “These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.”

“These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy,”  Rebecca said.

“These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one,”  Alex replied.

“These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it,”  Rebecca said

“And lastly these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.” Alex finished.

“And so the binding is made,”  Thor said and a spark passed along the cord.

The ceremony continued with the exchanging of rings and when they kissed they giggled as their faces came close before Rebecca wrapped her arms around Alex’s neck and kissed them deeply.

The reception was held inside.  A long table was set at the front of the room above the others where Alex and Rebecca sat with their bridal attendants.  The rest of the room was set in three long tables.  You, Steve and Bucky sat at the end of one and down the rest of the table were your brother and sister’s family and people they considered their family.  Sam and Rachel, Pepper, Maria and Edwin, Wanda, Vision, Billy and Teddy, and any other Avengers they had just grown up knowing and loving.  The table on the far side was set up similarly with Alex’s family.  The table in the middle was friends.  People from school and the Young Avengers.

All the food was vegan and just before they got to the cake was cut, came the speeches.  Steve was the first to get up to talk.

“I just want to thank you all for coming here to share in this big day.”  He said looking around the room.  “As most of you know, Rebecca is one of a trio.  I remember when they were born, they were so tiny I could hold them just in the palm of my hand.  All I could see was what could go wrong.  Now, I see her here looking so happy and I look back on her life and see how much went right.

“Rebecca has always been so loving and friendly.  On her first day of school, she happily introduced herself to her teacher while her siblings hid behind her.  She’s always known who she was.  She never let other people’s opinions hold her back.  She was the kid who would always step in when someone was being bullied.  In high school, I would get calls saying she had gotten into an argument with a teacher over some injustice.  I remember once she told her grade four teacher she couldn’t punish the class for something one person did because it was considered a war crime.  She is such an inspiration to me.”

He took a breath and looked over at her.  “Then one day she started talking about Alex.  For about 3 months she had two topics of conversation.  The Avengers training and Alex.  When she brought them home to meet us I could see exactly why she loved them so much.  Alex is so sweet and loving.  They are kind and artistic.  Quite and supportive.  They compliment each other.  They met while they were so young I thought, even though I married my childhood love, that they couldn’t possibly last.  The odds are never there are they?  Yet they did.  They are two sides of the same coin and I can’t wait to see how their lives unfold.  So if you could raise your glasses with me and toast to true love and to Alex and Rebecca.”

Alex and Rebecca cut the cake.  It was one you had made with Sarah using swirls of vegan chocolate art to decorate the outside and different flavors for each tier.  The top was a chocolate mousse layer cake, the middle was choc mint crunch and the bottom was chocolate with a cannoli filling.

“Oh man, I forgot how good your cakes were,”  Sam said through a mouthful of cake.  Rachel hit him in the arm.  “Hey baby, you know I love you.  And you make the best cup of coffee, but cake is not where your skill lies.”   She hit him again and he rubbed his arm.  “I better shut up or I’ll be sleeping on the couch for a week.

“Yeah, you better.”  Rachel agreed.

You took a bite of your cake.  You’d been given the one with the cannoli filling.  The tang of the filling blended with the sweetness of the cake and blended in your mouth.  Bucky nudged you and pointed at Sarah who was giggling in the corner with America and Kate.

“I’m starting to wonder if they’re just friends.”  He said.

You looked over at them.  They were talking very closely and there was a lot of touching.  “Why wouldn’t she have told us?  They’ve been like that for what?  Six years now?”

Bucky shrugged.  “Not ready to come out maybe?  Maybe I’m reading too much into it.  But she stopped dating when they started showing up all the time.”

You whistled.  “She does take after me, doesn’t she.”

Bucky laughed.  “She’s definitely yours.”

“She’ll come to use when she’s ready,”  Steve said watching them he sighed.  “They’re all grown up.”

“They are.”  You said rubbing his back.  “You can’t stop it, Steve.  You just have to appreciate it.”

He nodded and kissed the top of your head.  “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I do.”


	37. Worth It

Bucky’s mouth trailed down your throat as he rolled his hips against you.  You were vaguely aware of something burning but for the life of you, you couldn’t make yourself care.  Steve shifted a pan off a burner and switched off the stove before moving behind you and lifting your shirt up over your head.

There had been a lot of changes over the past couple of years.  You had decided to retire and Steve and Bucky had taken leave to spend your retirement at home with you.  The kids had seemed to stall in their aging when they hit about 24.  It was like their bodies finished developing and then just stopped when they were fully done.

Anthony still lived in California working as both an Avenger and a developer for Stark Industries.  He didn’t speak a lot of who he was seeing but the couple of times he had mentioned someone there definitely seemed to be a preference for Asgardian women.  So far at least two of them had been Valkyrie.  Alex and Rebecca had moved to the upstate compound, Rebecca taking on a team leader role.  Alex had started working for a small gallery in the nearby town.  Sarah had taken over the chocolate business which was now five stores in the US and she was looking at opening one in London.  She had moved out, but not far.  The speculation that she was in a relationship with America and Kate had turned out to be true.  They had come out together a few months after Alex and Rebecca had gotten married.   First to you, Bucky and Steve, then to Kate’s family, then Clint and Natasha, and finally the world.  They had moved in together not much longer.

So with an empty apartment and retirement, there was not more time for each other.  Which led to more of this.  Bucky’s mouth moved to your breast, sucking on your nipple as his hands ran down over your stomach and into the hem of your pants.  Steve’s lips brushed over your throat and you let your head fall back and eyes closed with a soft moan.

“Mom!  Dads!  Are you home?”  Sarah’s voice echoed from the living room.

“Fuckin’ shit!”  Bucky yelped pulling back from you and searching around for your shirt.

“Shh…”  You giggled scooping it up off the floor.  You pulled it up and checked Bucky and Steve over, nodded and headed to the kitchen door.  “Yes, honey!  Coming.”

As you reached the door it swung inward and you just caught it in time before it smashed you in the face.  “Oh my god.  I’m so sorry!”  Kate shrieked.

Sarah and America stepped into the room after her, Sarah poking Kate in the side as America looked over the room.  “Hello, Captain Rogers.”  She said quirking an eyebrow at him.

“Morning, girls.  What can we do for you?”  Steve replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

Sarah looked at the other two women and then back at the three of you.  “We need some advice.”

The six of you moved into the living room, Steve bringing the coffee pot and mugs.  Sarah put a paper bag on the table and Bucky immediately looked inside.  It reminded you of when you first started hanging out and he’d start digging in your bag for treats.  “What are these?”  He asked pulling out a small chocolate and stuffing it in his mouth.

Sarah laughed.  “They’re choc coated creme brulee.  Something I’m trying out.  You like?”

You took a piece and bit into it.  There was a little crackle of chocolate before your teeth hit the soft custard center.  A little hint of vanilla ran under the sweetness of the chocolate and custard.  “These are really good.”  You said when you swallowed.

“Told you,”  Kate said nudging Sarah.

“Was that it?”  Steve said taking one of the chocolates.

America smirked at him.  “Why were we interrupting something, Captain Rogers?”

A faint blush crept up the back of Steve’s neck as you and Bucky both stifled a laugh. “No, America.  And how many times do I have to remind you to call me, Steve?”

“It’s not why we’re here,”  Sarah interjected.  She took a deep breath and dragged her hands down her face, looking at America and Kate to help her out.

“Oh futz,”  Kate said.  “So.  The thing is.  We kinda want to have kids.”

You squeaked and lunged and Sarah wrapping her in your arms.  “You’re going to be a mom?”  You squealed as your daughter melted into your embrace.  “I’m gonna be a grandma?”

“I hope so,”  Sarah said.  “But we need some advice.”

You sat back and ran your hands down the back of her head, smoothing out her hair for a moment before it just returned to its natural state.  “What is it, sweet pea?”  You asked.

Normally calling Sarah something like would make America and Kate start giggling but they just looked even more serious than before.

“So… so… how?  I mean… we don’t know what we should do.  You guys just …”  She made a vague gesture with her hands.  “But you didn’t really know everything.  With the serum and … stuff.  How it would affect us.  Or how it affected you.  And now you’ve found out that your not aging,”  She said looking at Bucky and Steve.  “And it looks like we aren’t either.  And you talked to us about that.  I know that it’s made Anthony really hesitant about getting in relationships and when he does it’s Valkyrie because they live so long.  But I’ve got Kate and Rebecca has Alex and America isn’t sure what her powers mean…”  She shook her head and her eyes started to shimmer with tears.

You wrapped your arms around her and held her close to you.  Beside her America and put an arm around Kate’s waist and leaned in against her.  Steve had sat up straighter his jaw set while Bucky had made himself smaller and there was a real look of pain in his face.

“I’m so sorry, honey.”  You whispered.  “This is such a burden.  I’m so sorry we put it on you.”

“What Sarah’s trying to say I think is, is it worth it?”   America said.

Steve took a breath and let it out.  “There is nothing I regret about my life with your mother.”  He said to Sarah.  “It is going to absolutely hurt when she is gone.  But if I had the choice to do it again, I would without hesitation.”

Bucky nodded beside him, his jaw twitching a little.

“What about us?”  Sarah said quietly.

“Are you asking if we regret having you?”  Steve asked.

Sarah shook her head.  “No.  I mean… if there was a choice for if we had a normal life.  No powers.  No immortality.  We were just regular kids.  Would you choose that.”

Steve furrowed his brow.  “I don’t know.”

“You see, Cap… Steve,”  America said.  “We have the choice with what we do.  We can decide we don’t have kids.  We can adopt.  Or there are three different people who could carry them.  If I do they might get my powers which might also be the whole ‘living forever’ thing, still not sure the deal with them, but I wouldn’t be surprised.  Sarah could and they almost certainly will get the living forever thing.  Or Kate can and we get just regular old archer genes.”

“Awesome archer genes.”  Kate corrected her.

“So what do we do?  What choice do we make?”  America asked.

“Do you wish you weren’t enhanced, Sarah?”  Steve asked.   “That you were just normal?”

Sarah frowned.  “I don’t know.  I know that Rebecca and Anthony are pretty happy about it, but I think of losing Kate.  All my friends.”  She shook her head and a tear escaped.  She wiped her eyes and Kate nuzzled into the back of her neck.

You rubbed her back in slow circles.  “I can tell you, I’m really glad I don’t have to watch you die.  Parents aren’t supposed to outlive their kids.”  You said.

Bucky nodded.  “I hate we forced this on you, but I was relieved when you stopped aging.”

Steve leaned forward and took Sarah’s hands in his owns.  “You wanted to know if it’s worth it?  Do you think the time you spent with your grandparents was worth it?  Your uncle Tony?”

Tears slipped silently down Sarah’s cheeks as she looked into her father’s eyes.  “Yes.”

“Loving people, even if you know you can’t hold onto them.  It’s worth it.  It’s worth it for the impact that has on your life.  Losing them is painful.  But life, even a good one, is not without pain.   But I can tell you, the best thing that has happened in my life is marrying your mom and dad, and getting to watch the three of you grow.  It was worth every second.”   He said.  “We can’t make this choice for you.  You three are amazing, smart, strong women.  You’re going to be amazing parents.  And if your children end up being immortal then you will raise them to be ready for it.  If not, then the brief moment you have with them will be worth it.”

Sarah fell into his arms and he wrapped them around her and held her tightly, stroking her back as she cried against him.  “I’m sorry you have to make this choice, but I promise whatever one you make, it won’t be the wrong one.”


	38. Expecting

You and Bucky moved around the kitchen fluidly with each other.  Sarah, Rebecca, and Kate were coming down to have dinner with you.  They did it every couple of weeks on top of just random drop-ins.  The kids may all be grown up and left the nest but they were all still close and with the other two living a little further away Sarah seemed to take on the role of making you, Steve and Bucky still feel wanted.  Bucky loved that about her.  They all had their strengths and were all very loving, but Sarah wore her heart on her sleeve and he was always so proud that she allowed herself to be that open.

“Maybe they’ll have news,”  Bucky said nudging you as he walked past.  The girls had decided to go forward with trying for a child though they had decided to keep everything else between them.  You didn’t know how they were doing it, or who had decided to be the biological parent.  So the three of you had just been waiting on bated breath for news.

“Maybe.  Don’t get your hopes up, Buck.”  You said, rubbing the small of his back as he walked past again.

Bucky whined a little and began chopping garlic.  “I’m excited to be a grandpa.”  It was the truth.  The constant march of time usually came with a slight tinge of dread for loss.  This was the first time he could see the hope for new things to come without that side of things you’ll lose.

You chuckled and came up behind him, kissing the side of his neck, he squirmed at the brush of your lips on his skin.  “Well, you’re like a million years old.  It’s a little overdue.”  You teased.

“So mean,”  Bucky said pretending to pout.

You laughed and blew a raspberry on his neck.  He squirmed away from you and slapped you on the ass.  “Oh, you wanna get fresh with me, Barnes?”  You teased.

He grinned and pulled you into his arms.  “Maybe I do.”  He said and brought his lips to yours.  You smiled into the kiss as he teased his tongue over your lips.

The door opened and Steve came into the kitchen.  “That doesn’t look like cooking.”

You broke the kiss and smirked at him.   “You can do it if you don’t like the way we do.”

Steve shrugged.  “If you want my cooking.  Sure.”

After you had chased Steve back out of the kitchen you and Bucky finished cooking.  Sarah, America, and Kate showed up just as you were plating it.  The five of you all sat around eating and catching up on the things that you’d missed out on over the last few weeks.  There was a lot of shop talk.  America and Kate filling Steve and Bucky in on Avengers things.  You and Sarah talked about the stores and new recipes they’d been trying.  Sarah and Steve spoke about art.  Bucky and Kate spoke about Clint.

You brought out the dessert.  You’d made medium sized curls of marbled white and milk chocolate served with rice pudding filling and three blobs of mousse, one white, one milk, and one dark.

“This is supposed to look like sushi.  Not sure it doesn’t just look like fancy chocolate mousse.”  You said bringing some of the plates in and placing them on the table.

“Mom!”  Sarah squealed turning her plate around.  “It looks amazing!”

“Aww, such a good girl.”  You teased kissing the top of her head and sitting back down as Steve came in with the remaining plates.

You took a bite of the mouse, the chocolate shell cracking under your spoon and took a bite.  The crackle of the chocolate melted in with the smooth mousse sweet and bitter all at once while the rice pudding added strong notes of cinnamon and cardamom.  You let it sit on your tongue as you savored each flavor.

“You should show your mom the photo we got,”  Kate said, nudging Sarah.

You swallowed the pudding and looked over at your daughter.  “Photo.”

“Oh yeah.  No big deal.”  Sarah said picking up her handbag and fishing around.  “Just saw something cute and thought you might like to see.”

She handed over a small computer print out and before you could even see the image on it you knew what it was and let out an excited squeak.  “No!  Oh my god!”  You squealed taking it and looking at it.  It was a print out of an ultrasound.  You could see the little peanut shape that was the baby, sitting against the black background of a womb.

Bucky snatched it out of your hand and stared at it wide-eyed as you got up and hugged all three of the women on one go, squeezing them as tightly together as you could.  “We’re going to be grandparents?”  Bucky whispered and looked first at Steve and then at the women across from him all squashed in a huge embrace.  “Steve!  Can you believe it?”

Steve got up shaking his head and looking a little bit like he was going to cry and wrapped his arms as best he could around everyone.  “I can’t.  But I’m so excited.  Congratulations, girls.”  Bucky came over too and soon everyone was completely crushed in the six-person hug.

“Okay… Cap.  You’re crushing the baby.”  Kate complained from the middle of the pile.

“It’s you, Kate?  You’re pregnant?”  You asked as everyone pulled away.

Kate shook her head.  “Nope.”

“Who?  Can we know?”  Steve asked.

America pointed at Sarah.  “That would be your girl.”

Sarah grinned up at the three of you and you couldn’t help it you all hugged her again.

“You’re pregnant, honey?  How far along?”  Bucky asked.

Sarah just melted into the three of you the way she always had growing up.  “I am a little over eight weeks.”

“Morning sickness?”  You asked.

She shook her head slightly.  “Doctor seems to think it might be because of the serum.  I don’t really get sick.  But the baby is healthy.”

You finally pulled away and the three of you sat down.  “We are so happy for you girls.  You’re all going to make wonderful mothers.”  Steve said.

“Thanks, Cap.  We’re pretty excited too.”  America said.

“Can we know…?”  You said waving your hands around.

“Who the father is?”  Kate teased.  You nodded and she started laughing.  “So predictable.”

“So you know how America has that really close with Loki right?”  Kate said.

Steve’s jaw dropped and he blinked a few times.  “Sarah?”

“Oh, it’s not Loki… just wanted to remind you.”   Kate said starting to laugh.  America hit her in the arm.  “Mac, seriously.  I’m human.”

“It’s Edwin.  We asked him if he would be the doner.  Seemed like a good choice.”  Sarah said.

You put your hand over your heart and felt tears prick your eyes.  “That’s…”

“Fantastic.”  Bucky finished.

“Is he going to be involved?”  Steve asked.

The girls nodded.  “Yeah.  We basically went to him and asked him if he’d like to help us and we talked about what it would mean.  He decided that if he did it that he’d want to be the dad.  That they got to see each other regularly.  We live in the same building so it’s not like sharing custody is this huge deal.  The biggest problem we foresee is if he starts seeing someone and they don’t like the arrangement, but …”

“He’s like his dad.”  Steve finished.  “He’d never let someone get in between him and his family.”

“Pretty much.”  Sarah agreed.

“We know it makes things super complicated for a kid to deal with,”  Kate said.

“But you know, Sarah had two dads and a mom and she’s amazing,”  America said, tucking a lock of hair behind Sarah’s ear.

“And America was raised by a different Loki in a whole other universe and she’s pretty fantastic too,”  Sarah added.

Kate grinned.  “And my dad is a rich philanderer and I chose Clint Barton as a mentor.”

“The point is,”  Sarah said.  “The world is weird but in my experience having a lot of people who love you and are there for you is a bonus.”

“Sarah, you big sap.”  You teased as Kate lifted Sarah’s hand and kissed her fingers.

“You chose the live forever thing?”  Bucky asked quietly.

Sarah nodded.  “We took a long time to decide.  But… I don’t wanna watch my kids die if I can avoid it.  And here’s the thing, I grew up kinda knowing that this might be the case.  This is what I know.  And yeah it can be scary but I don’t see it as a curse.  So I shouldn’t be scared of passing that down.”

Steve got up and came over to her, hugging her hard and kissing her on the top of the head.  “I’m so proud of you.”  He whispered.

“Thank you, daddy,”  Sarah replied snuggling in against him.

“Alright!”  Bucky said getting up.  “I think this might be a toast thing.”

“With soda, daddy.  I can’t drink.”  Sarah yelled after him as he left the room.

Bucky nodded a wide smile breaking out as he went to the kitchen.  He was excited for the next part of his life.  He’d had so many different iterations now.  Son.  Brother.  Best friend to the little fighty Steve.  Sergeant.  Winter Soldier.  The broken guy he was after that.  Boyfriend.  Husband.  Father.  Grandfather never seemed like a thing that he could be.  Now it was happening and he couldn’t be more excited.


	39. New Beginnings

Steve slept soundly wrapped around you, his forehead pressed on Bucky’s.  The apartment was quiet, the sound of the three of you breathing easily drowning out the ambient sounds of the building and the city.

The last eight months had been quiet.  Everyone was settled and happy.  The Avengers were running smoothly.  The three of you had been just enjoying your time together and counting down for the birth of Sarah’s baby and when you would officially be grandparents.

The quiet was suddenly cut by Steve’s phone ringing.  He sat up alert, quickly reaching for it and hitting answer.  Bucky was up quickly too, looking at Steve intently, trying to pick up what was going on on the phone.  You, however, were slow to wake, rolling over and groaning.

“Sarah?”  Steve said holding the phone to his ear.  “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.  I’m fine.  Just thought you would like to know…”  Sarah paused and made a pained sound.  “I’m in labor.”

Steve sat up straighter and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.  “You are?  What do you need?”

Sarah laughed.  “Nothing, daddy.  It’s early.  I have my girls and …”  There was a pause for a moment and Steve could hear talking in the background.  “Yep, Edwin just got here.  I just thought you’d want to know it’s underway.  Go back to sleep.  One of us will call when we’re moving to the medbay otherwise if you wanna come get in the way and be yelled at and we haven’t called yet, you can come down and hang out in the morning.”

“You sure, princess?”  Steve asked.

“Positive.  Just wanted to let you know.”  Sarah said.  “Night, dad.”

“Night, honey.  Try and get some rest.”  Steve said and disconnected the call.

He turned around to see both of you starting up at him.  He laughed and shook his head.  “Just started.  You can both relax.”

“She’s in labor?”  You asked excitedly.

“Yeah.  Early though.  She’s just letting us know it started.”  Steve said climbing back in under the covers.

“Our baby is having a baby?”  Bucky asked.

“Soon enough.”  Steve agreed.  “Grampa Bucky.  That’ll be you.”

“Man that kid is going to have so many grandparents.”  You said, curling into Steve’s arms.  “Why have I that only just realized that?”

“Do you think that Loki will be a considered one?”  Bucky asked as he spooned you from behind.

“Why’d you have to say that?”  Steve said.

“But seriously?”  Bucky said.  “Loki raised her.”

“Different Loki,”  Steve said. “Now go to sleep.”

“But…”

“Buck, seriously.  Tomorrow will be crazy.  Go to sleep.  You can ask America tomorrow.”  Steve said.

“Fine,”  Bucky grumbled.

It took a little while for the three of you to get back to sleep and maybe because you were all too excited or because you were all expecting a call when one of you woke the others got pulled awake with them, you all woke very early.

“What if we go down and see if they need anything?”  Bucky suggested.

“I doubt Sarah will be wanting to eat, but the others might be hungry.  We could take them down breakfast.”  You suggested.

“Sounds good,”  Steve said.  “Now just keep in mind that there are already three people down there with her.  It might just be too crowded and as excited as we are this is about them.  So if we’re in the way, we’ll leave.”

“Slipped right into dad mode there, huh, Stevie?”  Bucky teased, getting up.

The three of you showered and baked a chocolate almond braid.  Steve brewed coffee and poured it into travel mugs and carried them downstairs.  A very flustered and exhausted Kate answered the door.

“Oh my god, I love you.”  She said and took one of the cups out of Steve’s and drained half of it in one go.

“How’s she doing?”  Steve asked as you all followed her inside.

“It’s getting close we think.  The contractions about seven minutes apart now.  She’s pretty tired.”  Kate explained.

She led you into their living room.  Sarah was pacing the room with America at her side.  Her face was beaded with sweat and she had her hair pulled back in a ponytail.  She gave a strained smile as you all walked in.

“Hey, honey.  How are you doing?”  You asked putting the pastry on the coffee table as Steve and Bucky put the coffee beside it.

“I hate this so much.  Why do people do this?”  Sarah complained.  She stopped suddenly, gripping onto America’s arm.  She made a pained whine and Kate came up behind her and rubbed her lower back in a slow deliberate way.

When it passed Sarah went back to pacing with America.  “Getting closer to five,”  Edwin said through a mouthful of pastry.  “Five-forty-eight.”

Sarah made an exaggerated crying sound pulling a face as she did.  “I hate this.  I hate you, Edwin.”

“What the hell?  What did I do?”  Edwin said, defensively.

“You got me pregnant,”  Sarah complained.

“No.  I got a cup pregnant.  You did this to yourself.”  Edwin said.

Sarah gave him the finger and Kate started laughing.

“America, you want me to walk with her for a bit while you eat?”  Bucky asked.

America looked at Sarah who nodded and went and sat down next to Edwin as Bucky let Sarah lean against him as she paced the room.  It took a couple of hours before the contractions reached the five minutes apart point.  In that time Sarah had broken down in tears three times, had stopped pacing and just curled up in Kate’s lap and had gone and stood in the shower for around 20 minutes.

When they finally went down to the medbay you, Bucky and Steve followed after them.  What then proceeded was four more hours of pacing the halls of the medbay while you waited.  You were joined by Pepper, who was now grey and looking much frailer.  She still lived in the penthouse with Edwin.  Maria had moved to LA to run that branch of Stark Industries.

“Can you believe we’re about to become grandparents?”  She said, taking a seat beside you.

You slipped your hand into hers.  “How are you feeling?”

She smiled at you.  “So many things.  I’m excited.  So proud of him.  I am so, so proud he gave you girl this chance.”  She wiped her eyes.  “Tony used to joke about our kids getting married when they grew up.  You know the way people do when their friends have kids at the same time as them.  I think he’d love this.  I hate he couldn’t be here for this.”

Steve put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.  “I kinda think this is one of the most Stark things that could have happened.  He always wanted a big close family and now his first grandchild has what?  8 grandparents?”

“Did you count Loki?”  Bucky asked.

Steve rolled his eyes.  “Yes, I counted Loki.”

Edwin came out with a big smile on his face.  All four of you turned to look at him.  “It’s a boy.  Mom is doing fine.”

“Can we go in and see them?”  Bucky asked, his hands opening and closing at his sides.

Edwin nodded.  “Mom, maybe let them go first.  Not a lot of room as it is.”

Pepper nodded and Edwin took Steve’s place beside her as the three of you crept into the room.  Sarah was lying on the bed as the staff cleaned up around her.  She had a blanket over her and her face was pale and still shiny with sweat.  Her hair was a complete mess, but she was glowing.  Smiling down at the little baby lying against her bare skin.  He was small but much bigger than Sarah was when she was born.  America sat behind her on the bed with her arm around her shoulder and Kate lay down next to her.

“Well done, mommy.”  You said coming and kissing her brow.  “Look at what you did.”

“Does he have a name?”  Bucky asked running his palm along his grandson’s back.

Kate looked up at him and smirked.  “You know how Loki and America are close?”

“No, you didn’t.  Now really, what’s his name?”  Steve scolded, making Kate start to giggle.

“His name is Clinton George.  Still working on a last name because it will be a nightmare having five hyphenated names.  We thought something that took a little from each.  We just can’t quite make them sound okay.”  America said.

“Either that or we’ll go with Stark.  Might be the only one that gets to carry on the name.  Don’t tell Ed we’re considering that.  He’ll be impossible.”  Sarah said, she looked up from baby Clint and smiled an exhausted smile.  “Who wants to hold him?”

Bucky held out his arms and Sarah gently placed Clinton in them.  “Hey, little guy.  I’m your Grandpa Bucky.”  He cooed, rocking the baby gently against him.  “I’m so happy to meet you.  Can’t wait to see who you grow up to be.  I promise I’ll be here for you whenever you need me.”

Steve kissed Sarah on top of the head as he watched Bucky with his grandson.  He felt such pride and love for his family and what they had turned out to be.  Now he was excited to see how this next phase of his life would turn out.


	40. Someone Unexpected

Six years had passed since the birth of baby Clint.  Sarah, America, and Kate, along with help from Edwin had all loved being parents and doted on that little boy.  So Clinton had been followed two years later by a little girl, Amelia Elena and then a year and a half after that another boy they named Nicholas William.

You, Bucky and Steve loved being grandparents.  While you had never felt as much your age as you had been lately.  Getting to see these new family members grow and learn breathed a new life into the place.  You were happy and at peace with the way things were.  Not to mention that seeing Steve and Bucky take to the role of grandparents as fully as they did.  It was magical.  You were so glad that they had gotten to experience this.  Surprisingly the one that had become the overindulgent give into every whim grandpa had been Steve.  Those little ones could ask for pop rocks for breakfast and he’d give it to them if there was no one else around to intervene.

Not that the six years had been without loss.  Rhodey had passed five years ago.  He has gone peacefully in his sleep with his loved ones around him. Pepper was looking more and frailer.  She now has a part-time nurse with her to help with her day to day care.  Bruce hadn’t been seen for a little over two years.  It was just the Hulk now and he didn’t like it if you brought up Bruce.  Not that he ever had, but in the past when people spoke about him he’d get huffy and jealous, now he just seemed sad.  Adult Clint had lost all his vision and had a guide dog and Natasha to help him out.

Everyone else was fine more or less.  Feeling their perspective ages but fine.  Rebecca still lived in the compound upstate with Alex and still loved being an Avenger.

Anthony seemed happy enough.  Still in LA.  Still working for Stark Industries and being a part-time Avenger.  Still dating casually, mostly Asgardians.

Or at least that’s what you had thought.  You’d gotten a call from him while you, Steve and Bucky were cleaning up after lunch.  He wouldn’t say what was wrong but he had asked if it was okay to come home.  Possibly indefinitely.

Of course, you had said yes.

You’d spent the rest of the afternoon preparing his old room for him and collectively freaking out about what could possibly be wrong.

“We know it can’t be that he’s fired. We’d know about that from someone else.”  Steve said as he watched you and Bucky in the kitchen preparing dinner.  “Besides, I couldn’t imagine him doing anything bad enough that would get him fired from either S.I.  Or the Avengers.”

“Maybe it’s a bad breakup?  Needed to get away and lick his wounds?”  You suggested.

Bucky shrugged.  “I mean, maybe.  He’s never really told us he’d gotten serious with anyone.”

Steve shook his head.  “I have no idea.  He seemed panicked though.”

You furrowed your brow.  “I guess we will find out soon enough.  He should be here soon.  And dinner is almost ready.”

Steve grumbled and went and grabbed some plates, taking them out to the table.  You and Bucky finished up what you were doing and were just putting the food in the oven to stay warm when there was a knock at the door.

“Mom?  Dads?”  Anthony’s voice came from the front door.  He sounded tired.  You and Bucky stepped out into the living room and froze in your tracks.  Steve came up behind you and nearly bumped into you both.

Anthony was standing at the door holding a baby boy who looked to be around six months old and was dressed in something that looked vaguely Asgardian.

“Tony?”  Bucky asked taking a few steps forward.

“Hey, dad,”  Anthony said coming closing the door behind him.  “Uh… this is Magnus.”

“And who is Magnus?”  Steve asked.

“He’s my … my son,”  Anthony answered furrowing his brow.  “Can we… Can we maybe sit and talk?”

It was like you suddenly got unstuck.  You rushed over and hugged Anthony, kissing his cheek and holding him close.  Despite the fact he was now 6’4 and in his thirties, he melted into you.  He wrapped an arm around you as his body sagged.  “I’m sorry, mom.”  He whispered.

“It’s okay.  Don’t worry, honey.  It’s gonna be fine.”  You said rubbing his back.  He stayed pressed against you for a moment, before taking a deep ragged breath in and straightened up.  “Okay.  Steve, can you call Sarah.  See if we can’t borrow one of their cribs and if she has any baby food and diapers we can have so we can put off shopping until tomorrow.  Bucky, go put the food out on the table.”  You said taking Magnus from Anthony.  “Come on, honey.”

Bucky gave a mock salute and disappeared into the kitchen while Steve pulled out his phone.  You carried Magnus to Sarah’s old room and pulled out the box of toys that you had for her kids and let Magnus choose a few before taking him to the dining room.  Anthony was sitting with his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes as Bucky put the food on the table.

Steve came in a moment later and sat down.  He rubbed Anthony’s back slowly.  “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Anthony shook his head.  “I didn’t know.  I’ve known exactly 3 hours longer than you have.”

“It’s okay.  We’re here for you.  Tell us what happened.”  Bucky said.

Anthony took a deep breath.  “So I guess about a year and a half ago I had a thing with Radgrid.  She was here to serve Brunnhilde with something.  I don’t know.  But then all the Valkyrie just returned to Asgard all of a sudden.  Wasn’t such a big deal.  We weren’t super serious.  Just messing around.  She showed up today with Magnus and said he was mine and that she had cared for him as long as she could and that it was time I took over.”

“She just dropped him off?”  Steve asked.

Anthony nodded.  “Yeah.  And I wasn’t ready for this.  I don’t know how to be a dad.  I work all the time.  I’m by myself.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.  We’ve got you.”  You said.  Magnus sat on your lap hitting the table with the maraca he’d taken from the toy box.

“We’ll work it out.  Luckily we’re on pretty good terms with your boss, huh?”  Steve said.

“Can I stay here?  For a while?”  Anthony asked looking up at you hopefully.  “He cried for most of the trip over.  I couldn’t get him to stop.  He only seemed to stop because he ran out of steam.”

“Of course.  Tony.  We’ll always be here to help you.”  You said.

He smiled at you, though his eyes were still sad and a little scared.  “Thanks, mom.”

You heard the front door open and then the sound of feet coming through the apartment.  The dining room door slammed open.  “Uncle Tony!”  Clinton yelled, and ran through the room and slammed into Anthony’s side.

Anthony picked him up and tossed him into the air above his head.  “Hey, buddy.  How’s it going?”

Amelia toddled in after her followed by Sarah who was holding Nicholas.  “Where’s my nephew?”  Sarah asked.  She came in dumping Nicholas into Bucky’s lap and taking Magnus from you.  “What’s his name?  What happened?”

“Hey,”  Kate said from the door.  “Me and Mac will go set up the crib.  Tony’s room?”

“Yes, please and thank you,”  Steve replied.   Kate saluted and disappeared down the hall.

“His name is Magnus,”  Anthony said.

“Man.  Tony!  You’re a dad!  That’s crazy.”  Sarah said shaking her head.  “Look at this little guy.  You totally made a person.”  She bounced Magnus on the table in front of her.  “Asgardian?”

“Yeah.  How’d you know?”  Anthony asked.

Sarah shrugged.  “You have a type.  So is his last name Anthonyson?”

Anthony laughed.  “Yeah.  That’s what Radgrid said, but I’ll probably change it to Barnes-Rogers.  It makes more sense to me.  Have the family name just be the same.”

“Well, here you go, new dad,”  Sarah said taking something out of her handbag and putting it on the table.  Anthony picked it up and turned it over.  It was a clear plastic duck with a green and orange chocolate duck inside.

“Thanks, Sare.  You just got these hanging around the house, huh?”  Anthony said shaking his head.

“Yep.  Arrows and chocolate molds.  Mack is always picking them up.”  Sarah said.

Your gaze flicked between your husbands, children, and grandchildren and in that moment you knew, they were going to be fine.  They had each other.  Even when things seemed hopeless they were there for each other.  You had created a legacy here and it was based in love.  You were going to enjoy every moment of it.


	41. When We Were Beautiful

Steve and Bucky sat on the side of the bed both knowing they needed to move, but neither of them being able to make themselves.  Time had taken a lot lately.  Pepper had passed peacefully around six years ago.  A couple of years after that they’d received a call that Clint had slipped and fallen in the shower.  He never woke from the induced coma the doctors had put him in.  Natasha had returned to New York to be closer to the rest of the people she considered family.

Then time had taken you.

The week had been tough, but Steve and Bucky weren’t alone,  Sarah still lived in the tower with America, Kate, and their three children.  She still ran the chocolate business.  For the past week, she had been cooking meals for them every night.  Steve and Bucky had recognized the behavior.  It had been one of yours.  The need to be the carer so you didn’t completely break down.  They liked watching the way America and Kate stayed close and kept putting their hands on her.  Reminding her they were still there and ready to catch her when she couldn’t keep holding herself up anymore.

Anthony still lived at home.  He had started working for Stark Industries New York offices and had joined the Manhattan branch of the Avengers.  You, Bucky, and Steve had been helping him raise Magnus since his own mother had dropped him off and returned to Asgard.  The little boy hadn’t seen her since so your passing was like him losing both a Grandmother and mother figure at once.  Anthony had put a lot of energy into making sure Magnus was coping.

Rebecca was still upstate running the Avengers compound and married to Alex.  The two had come back about a week before you passed and had been helping with the funeral arrangements.

Bucky and Steve would look at their family and see so many things or the future to look forward to, but without you right now it was hard to get up and move.

The bedroom door opened and Magnus came inside.  He climbed up into Bucky’s lap and rested his head against him.  “You okay, buddy?”

Magnus shook his head.  “Don’t wanna go.”

Steve rubbed his grandson on the back.  “We get to say goodbye to Grandma.”

“Don’t wanna say goodbye.”  He said.

“Yeah.  Me either, Mags.”  Bucky said.  “But it’s important.”

Rebecca poked her head in the door.  “You ready.”

Steve nodded.  “Yeah.  We’re coming.”

Bucky leaned over and rested his head on Steve’s shoulder.  “This sucks.”  He said.

Steve nodded and pressed his lips to Bucky’s head.  “She said not to focus on the bad.  Come on.”

The family piled in cars and the procession took them downtown to the Funeral Home.  Bucky, Steve, Anthony, Sam, Edwin, and your brother acted as Pallbearers as a man sat at the front of the room playing a song on the acoustic guitar.  

_“I guess you had to be there, she said, you had to be.  She handed me a yellow photograph, and said see.  This was my greatest love, my very real love, and this is me.  Back when we were beautiful, see._

_“I don’t feel very different, she said, I know it’s strange.  I guess that I’ve got used to these little aches and pains.  But I still love to dance, and oh we used to dance the night away, back when we were beautiful, them and me._

_“This was my greatest love, my very real loves and this was me.  Back when we were beautiful, see._

_“I really love the grandkids she said, they’re good to hold.  They love their grandpas and all their jokes they told.  You know sometimes for a laugh, the three of us would act like we were old, back then we were beautiful, I’m told.  Back then we were beautiful, I’m told.”_   He sang.

The family all sat up the front as Thor addressed everyone gathered.  “Let us take a few deep breaths to prepare ourselves.  Breath deeply and remember the love you have and the joy you shared.”  He said lowering his head.  “And so we begin.  Friends and family we are here today to remembering a remarkable woman.  She built a business from the ground up based entirely on her own talents.  That business led her to meet her husbands, which led her to have her three beautiful children and her four grandchildren.  She was one of those rare people who brought so much positivity to everyone around her and the people she has touched will always be left with that mark of the person she was.”

Rebecca got up next to speak.  Her eyes were red and puffy and she carried a little pile of flashcards.  “I’ve never met anyone like my mom.”  She said her voice hoarse from crying.  “She was an inspiration.  She had never given up on a dream she had.  She wanted to make chocolates, so not only did she, she started a chain of chocolate shops that are now open in two countries.  When she fell in love with my dads she didn’t see the potential for the things that could go wrong.  She saw how much love there was available.”

She swallowed and looked over at the coffin.  “She was one of the most supportive loving people I’ve ever come across.  It didn’t matter what thing we came home with she was there accepting us for how we were and the plans we had laid out for ourselves.  When I decided I wanted to be an Avenger when I was still a kid it scared her.  She had seen first hand what that took out of people.  She still supported me.  When I bought home my first love as a teenager, she accepted them into her home like they were one of her own.  When I wanted to marry that same person, she lit the candle at our wedding to merge our two families.  It didn’t matter where our lives took us.  Her daughter wants to have kids with two other women and the boy from upstairs?  Sure, I can’t wait to meet my grandkids.  Her son brings home a baby a Valkyrie dropped on his door, hooray more grandkids to feed chocolate.”  There was a chuckle through the room and Rebecca wiped her eyes.

“Even at the end, she was more afraid of leaving us alone than she was of dying.  She told us that we weren’t allowed to think about what we had lost and what we will lose in the future.  We had to instead remember the good things we had.  My mom helped make me the person I am today.  I will miss her every day, but you can’t miss people if they didn’t touch you.  So that is what I will hold on to.”

By the time Rebecca had finished speaking she was crying freely as were Anthony and Sarah.  When she sat down Alex wrapped their arms around her and held her as she wept.

Steve stood up and walked to the podium.  “We decided that because of all the lives she touched you would get one husband and one child.  Otherwise, we’d be here all week.”  There was laughter again and Steve looked over at Bucky who sat staring at the coffin with red-rimmed eyes.

“We first met when she was delivering chocolate eggs to the Tower and a bike messenger clipped her and sent her sprawling.  We’d taken her up to get patched up and I don’t know if everyone else could sense something we couldn’t but every time one of our friends came in the room they told us I couldn’t keep her.”  Steve looked over at your photo sitting on the coffin and took a steadying breath as he pictured you on that day.  So young and so open to them.

“I know you would have all seen the kind of things she did with chocolate.  It is art and on the day we met, I asked her if it bothered her that her art would ultimately just get eaten.  She said that temporary things were more special.  You can appreciate its beauty and enjoy it while you have it.  Then it’s gone.  You have to make the time you have with it count.  That has always stuck with me.

“Our time with her was temporary but I made sure I appreciated every second.  From the way she would bring us little homemade treats when we went out together, to the way she soothed us through nightmares.  From the passion she put into her business, to the love she brought home to us.  I took the time to appreciate every second I had with her.  People would question the relationship we had.  They thought the fact there were three of us made us greedy and what we had less real.”

Steve looked back at Bucky who was now looking up at him with tears in his eyes.  He thought about what their life would be now they didn’t have you in it.  He and Bucky had healed so much thanks to your presence.  You had been their place to find normal and eventually that normal life had been a thing that was just theirs.  You had changed them for the better and that would stay with them as they continued on the path they had ahead.  “The truth is the love the three of us shared was the most real thing I’d ever experienced.  We were what each was missing.  Three pieces to the same puzzle.  She made our lives better.  More real and grounded.  Had we never met, Bucky and I would have been happy.  But we would never have changed.  We would just be the same two broken men who kept putting their lives at risk at every available opportunity.  The stoic hero and the broken assassin.  She saw us as more than that and she changed us.  Healed us.  Made us better people.  She made two men who were stupid and in love, a family.  When we were ready she grew that family with us.  I can only hope that we made her life half as good as she made ours.”

He paused to wipe his eyes looking at his family.  They would be okay. He knew that.  For now, they would just continue living at the tower.  Maybe one day, when the little ones were grown, they would take Thor up on his offer.  They weren’t ready for that yet.  This was where the home they had made with you was.  They weren’t ready to give that up.  Not just yet.   “My wife came into our lives to deliver chocolate.  What we got was much sweeter.  Everyone had said we couldn’t keep her.  Turns out, in the end, they were right.  But we held on and savored every last second with her for as long as we could.”

~End~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song lyrics are adapted from Back When We Were Beautiful by Matraca Maria Berg. [This version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56i-MFGR-BY) is the one that made me cry in the car just after I finished writing this so I had to add them in.


End file.
